Picture Perfect (9 page)

Chapter 17.

After Maria’s wound was repaired, she and I sat looking at each other.

“What now?” Maria enquired bluntly. I ran my hand up her uninjured arm.

“I know what I’d
like
to do,” I whispered, excited by her proximity. Her eyes glittered with mischief as she captured one of my hands.

“Come my room,” she ordered. “We see what happens.” We hurried to her room, excited and happy, like two naughty schoolchildren. Maria pulled me inside and closed the door. She stalked over to me like a lion chasing its dinner and then pounced. I giggled as we tumbled onto the bed, tearing at each other’s clothes and soon we were both in a fit state for one of Roger’s paintings. I held Maria at arm’s length and reflected that I
must
be lonely because she looked even more alluring than she had the first time. Her perfect olive skin glistened in the light filtering through the window, and I touched her body in wonder.
How beautiful
, I thought. My gaze drifted up to her face and to her warm, loving eyes, so identical to Moonbeam’s that I had to choke back a sob. She smiled at me with affection and devotion and, imprisoning my face in her gentle hands, bent down and kissed me with irresistible passion. My arms wrapped themselves around her back and I responded in kind.

That kiss was exquisite and magical. I still felt it on my lips for hours afterwards and it was the prelude to the opening of a door into paradise. We teased and tickled each other into a frenzy of emotional highlights. No matter how I tried, I couldn’t separate my perception of Maria from my vision of Moonbeam and, in the end, I didn’t even try. It was as if Moonbeam was also present in the room with me and looking on with love and understanding. I surrendered myself to the moment and drowned in a sea of physical enjoyment.

Afterwards, when we lying exhausted side by side, Maria rolled over to me, put her hand under my neck, lifted my head and kissed me in gratitude.

“What’s
that
for?” I asked, drowsily.

“That for
mother
,” she said enigmatically. “Me see you love her much. Me want thank you from her.”

I touched Maria’s face with my fingers. “She’ll always be a part of me,” I murmured softly, “and so will
you
. I’ve been unbelievably fortunate to have been with
both
of you in the one lifetime.”

Maria kissed my fingers. “Me lucky to know you,” she said. “Know now why mother talk of you all time. You lovely, lovely person.”

“Oh, Maria,” I whispered, my soul aching from past memories, “Moonbeam would be so
proud
of you. I wish I had a daughter just like you.”

“Have now,” she whispered back, holding my hand to her lips. “Me be
daughter
to you. Mother want this, me sure. She always tell me you daughter to her. All time. Me sometime jealous, but not now. We family.”

I closed my eyes tightly to try to limit the emotional turmoil I was feeling, but could still feel a few tears escaping their confines from under my lashes and making a bid for freedom down my cheeks. I felt Maria’s gentle fingers wipe them away and her soft lips applying themselves to my forehead. How strange was Fate? Moonbeam claimed me as a daughter and now
her
daughter claims me as her
mother
. My mind whirled with the implications of that labyrinth. Meantime, my emotional stocks were exhausted after running the gamut of everything that had happened in the last hour. Opening my eyes, I looked into Maria’s adoring face.

“Thank you, Maria,” I croaked, my voice still not under control. “You honour me beyond words. I can only hope I’ll be half the mother Moonbeam was.”

Maria looked at me lovingly. “You be great mother,” she pronounced with conviction. “No matter what happen and what me do, me always friend. Want you to remember this if time ever come when you doubt.” Then she rubbed her hands together. “Have get up now,” she announced firmly. “House not run itself. Work to do.” Then she grinned wickedly at me. “Wish it did. More time for hanky-panky then.”

I blushed. “Maria!” I exclaimed. “You
naughty
thing! You’re Moonbeam’s daughter through and through.” My mind slipped away back to when Moonbeam was trying to overcome my prudery by taking me to her bed on every conceivable occasion. I was wary of amorous activity in general, my spirit still smarting from the imposed sex sessions with my ‘lover’. He taught me all about humiliation and self-disgust and the very thought of intimacy made me shiver with revulsion. Moonbeam resolved to cure me through what she called ‘lovefests’, where she’d spend all of her time gently caressing my body with no thought of her own pleasure. Her actions were so non-threatening that I slowly came to accept that the act of loving needn’t necessarily be cruel and painful but could be joyful and full of wonder. I owed her everything that I was today.

Chapter 18.

I went back to my room, almost floating. Paul was lying on his bed, reading a book. “You’ll never
guess
!” I blurted out.

“So far you’re a hundred percent correct,” he said, with a smile. “I
can’t
guess, but let me try. Let’s see now…..the oceans have turned into lemonade; wombats have been discovered on Mars; seagulls are actually descended from cats; politicians are unselfish philanthropists working for the common good…..Am I getting
close
?”

“No, no, no and
definitely
no,” I answered, grinning. “No, my news is that Maria is Moonbeam’s
daughter
! How weird is that?”

“Very,” Paul agreed. “It’s strange how everything connects. You’re
together
, aren’t you? That’s where you’ve been for the last hour or so, isn’t it?”

“I can’t hide anything from you,” I declared with some asperity. “You
never
let me surprise you.”

“I don’t
like
surprises,” Paul avowed. “They put me on edge. I prefer to have everything in its place, exactly where I know to
find
it.”

I poked out my tongue at him. “You’re such a
geek
,” I said.

“And proud
of
it,” he asserted. “But, sweetie, don’t you think you’re going a little fast with Maria. You hardly
know
the girl, after all.”

“She’s
Moonbeam’s
daughter!” I explained. “That’s
all
I need to know.”

“But she’s
not
Moonbeam,” Paul said patiently. ‘I think you’re confusing the two. She could be in league with the baddies for all you know.”

“No, I’m
not
confusing them,” I replied, crossly. “No daughter of Moonbeam could be a bad guy. It just isn’t
possible
.”

“Will you just
listen
to yourself?” Paul exclaimed. “
Anyone
could be bad. I remember a few of
your
loves who turned out to be real rotters and you trusted them heart and soul.”

“This is
different
,” I tried to clarify. “This is the child of
Moonbeam
!”

“So you’ve already said,” Paul told me. ‘That
still
doesn’t alter the fact that you know hardly anything about her.”

“I know enough to know that she’d do anything for me!” I all but shouted, stung by Paul’s refusal to see Maria in the same light as I did.

“
Listen
to me, sweetheart,” Paul begged, sitting up on the bed. “You’re being blinded by memories of Moonbeam. For the last time, Maria is
not
Moonbeam! Your heart is ruling your head.”

“What if it
is
?” I quarrelled. “I’m telling you that Maria
can’t
be one of the bad guys. Why don’t you
see
that?”

“Because I didn’t know Moonbeam,” Paul replied calmly, “and I’m thinking
rationally
and not with my hormones.”

“Are you saying that I
am
?” I asked, hurt by his accusations.

“Yes, to a certain degree,” he admitted.

“Well, I don’t care
what
you think!” I flared, angry with his stubborn attitude. “I want to be with Maria, and that’s
that
! You can’t stop me!”

“I don’t
want
to stop you, sweetie,” he said. “All I want you to do is to
think
about what you’re doing. Don’t accept things on face value, that’s all.”

“Oh……go boil your
head
!” I told him, as I flounced out the door, my anger overflowing into childish insults.
Damn
Paul, anyway! He always looked on the
rational
side of things. What did
he
know about love and its complications?

More than you
, came the insidious reply from my memories.
Compared to you, how many times has his heart been broken, hmmm? Why can’t you ever keep a lover around, eh? How many times have you cried on his shoulder when things went wrong? Why do they all run away from you in the end? They never do that with Paul. What does he know that you don’t?

“Shut
up
!” I shouted loudly.

“Me no say
anything
,” Maria told me, looking puzzled. I stopped and looked around. I was next to Maria’s room. In my blind rage, I’d practically run through the house, and my steps had unconsciously led me to where I knew I’d find comfort.

“I didn’t mean it for
you
, honey,” I explained, shamefaced. “I was just …… thinking about how
terrible
I am at relationships, that’s all, and I got a bit carried away.”

“Expected,” Maria informed me. “Have bad memories still in mind. They tell you that you no good. No listen.”

“You
know
about my bad memories?” I asked curiously. “Did your mother tell you?”

“She tell
all
about you,” Maria replied. “Bad man
hurt
you very much. You afraid of touching. No let anyone close. Still have that, buried here.” She put one hand on my stomach and her other hand between my breasts. “Hurt there,
hiding
.”

“But that was
years
ago,” I protested. “I’m well and truly over it.”

Maria smiled sadly. “Pain
never
go,” she prophesised, withdrawing her hands. “Still shape actions now. You just forget.”

I stared at Maria in amazement. Could she be
correct
? Was my inability to keep lovers because of my past memories? Did I unconsciously deliberately sabotage my relationships to stop anyone getting
close
to me? Surely not! But she was right about the pain not going away. My dreams had recently resurrected all of my damaged emotions from the past. Was I trying to heal myself once and for all by bringing the hurt to the surface? I shook my head in bafflement. There were levels to Maria I never suspected. The more I learned about her, the further depths I found.

“Why you
shout
before?” she asked curiously.

“I had a ……. fight with my brother,” I explained in a low voice, “and I became a little ….. angry.”

“Whole
lot
angry,” Maria disagreed. “Not good fight with family. Very bad feeling. You fix soon. No need more pain.”

“You’re right, of course,” I said. “Paul and I almost never fight and when we do I feel terrible for days. I’ll go back right now and apologise.”

“Good,” Maria told me. “Come back later. Last time ruin massage with hanky-panky. Do
proper
massage this time.”

“I can’t wait,” I told her truthfully.

Chapter 19.

I returned to our room, determined to set matters straight with Paul. I hated it when we argued although, thankfully, arguments were a very rare occurrence between us. A little timidly, I entered the room to find Paul folding clothes into a suitcase.

“What on earth are you
doing
?” I asked him.

He looked up from his endeavours and said curtly, “What does it
look
like?”

“It looks like you’re
packing
,” I dutifully answered. “But
why
?”

“Because I’ve been thinking it over, and I’ve come to the conclusion that you don’t
need
me here anymore,” he answered.

“What do you mean?” I spluttered. “You can’t just
leave
.”

“Why
not
?” he asked, simply. “I can’t add anything to the situation and you won’t listen to me about Maria, so why
should
I stay?”

“But I
need
you here,” I managed to say, shocked to the very core of my being. “You’ve
always
been with me in everything. You’re part of almost
every
adventure I’ve ever had……. You
can’t
leave!”

“
Watch
me,” he said, snapping the locks of his suitcase.

“But…..but….. I’ll be
lost
without you,” I stammered. “
Why
are you doing this to me? Is it just because of Maria? You’re not jealous that I’m with
her
, are you?”

“No,” he replied, “I’m not jealous. You should know me
better
than that. I’ve seen you through numerous love affairs and have always stood by your choices. But this time I think you’re
wrong
. Maria is a total unknown and you’re treating her like a long lost sister. If I stay we’ll only argue about it all the time and make each other miserable, so I’ll go home for awhile and let you run things here the way you want to. Just be
careful
, honey. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” So saying, he walked past me and out of the door, carrying his suitcase. In disbelief, I stood aside and watched him go. I still couldn’t accept the idea that Paul would
abandon
me like this. It had never happened before. He must have been furious, although he didn’t show any signs of it. He never did. He always kept all of his anger inside on a leash, while I tended to let mine out to rampage around freely. I desperately wanted to run after him and
beg
him to stay, but that would have been humiliating for us both, so I contented myself with waving him goodbye as he drove away. Fluff, ever curious, was also there to see him off.

I retreated into the house, devastated. What had just happened?
How
had it happened? It had started with a minor disagreement about Maria and had escalated from there. Was he
right
about her? Was I rushing in blindly? To be truthful, I had to answer ‘yes’ to that question. My memories of Moonbeam were colouring
all
of my dealings with her daughter. I continually compared the two of them in my mind, which was totally unfair to Maria. Paul’s insinuation that I knew practically nothing about Maria’s background was substantially correct. But my
instincts
must count for something, and they told me that Maria was on the straight and narrow. Only time would tell which of us was in the wrong.

At dinner, I had to explain Paul’s absence, so I invented a family emergency that only he could take untangle. Roger accepted my fabrication on face value, but Maria obviously didn’t believe a word I said. That girl was far too clever for her own good. I’d have to watch myself around her. After the dishes were packed away, Roger floated the idea of my next painting.

“How about we make a start in the morning?” he suggested. “I still like the idea of the field, and I know the ideal one. It’s not far from here and, provided the day is sunny, we could start off about nine in the morning, okay?”

I agreed, and he wandered off, quite happy, leaving Maria and me alone in the dining room.

“Why Mister Paul
really
go?” she asked bluntly. “Me thought you go
fix
.”

“I
tried
,” I sighed sadly, “but it didn’t quite work out that way. Now he’s gone and I don’t think he’ll be coming back any time soon. Maria,
how
can I sort out this mess?”

She shrugged. “Can do nothing. He go, you
stay
. Fact of life. Have to live with it. In meantime, what you do?”

I sighed again. “I don’t know. I’m too upset to think straight.”

“Stay with me,” Maria suggested. “Me help take away hurt. You sleep with me. Much comfort to hold someone.”

I looked into her sincere eyes and fell under their spell. She was right. I badly needed someone at this time and Maria was the only person I could turn to. I took her hand in acceptance. She beamed at me and led me to her room.