Picks & Pucks (25 page)

“Jack?” I gasped and pushed Gillian away from me.

It couldn’t be Jack. I blinked a few times, but the guy walking down the hall still looked and sounded like my long-lost brother. His brown hair was longer, and he was sporting heavy scruff on his chin. He was tall, athletic, and had the girls sighing as he made his way toward me.

“Um, do you have another brother I should know about?” he asked. “Or maybe you replaced me.”

“Is this really your brother?” Gillian asked.

“Yes,” I said. “Keep your badly manicured nails away from him.”

“I think that should be his choice,” she purred.

“You’re a bit too blonde for me, sweetheart,” Jack said. “And from the looks of things, I bet the drapes don’t match the carpet.”

I burst out laughing. I know it wasn’t polite, but since Gillian was such a great skater, most people tolerated her rudeness.

She snorted. “You probably like boys.”

I cringed at the words and waited for Jack to freak on her. He’d certainly freaked on me enough times for liking guys.

“I know guys with bigger boobs than you, honey,” he said.

She made a face and stomped down the hall. I stood stock-still, mouth wide open, staring at this guy who was claiming to be my brother.

“You can shut your mouth now, Justin.”

I opened and closed my mouth several times before I could finally speak. “That was awesome,” I said. “She’s a pain in the ass and needs to be taken down a notch or two.

“Glad I could help,” he said.

“You lost or something?” I asked.

He leaned against the wall and frowned. “Look, I know we haven’t talked for a while.”

“A while?” I said. “Your definition of a while must be interesting. We haven’t really talked since Mom died.”

“Alright, Justin, give me a second here. I’m trying to tell you I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“I quit the team I was playing for, and I’m coming back to the States.”

I eyed him carefully, looking for some indication of what was motivating him. “I don’t understand what that has to do with me?”

“I’ve been talking to Janae, and I’m tired of being angry. It’s time to move forward with my life. I thought playing hockey was the only thing I was good at, and we both know I wasn’t really that great.”

“You’re a good hockey player, Jack. Someone was paying you to play. You’re way too hard on yourself.”

“I’m not here to talk about my hockey career, unless you want to hear about my new coaching job.” He bit his lip to keep from smiling, but it didn’t work.

“You’re going to be coaching?”

“Yes, believe it or not. I applied for the position, and they actually hired me. My team will be playing against Dad.” He laughed. “But the old man thinks it’s awesome.”

“Which team?”

“You heard about all those coaches who got fired?”

“Um, no,” I said. “I don’t really keep up with all the hockey gossip.”

The lines on his forehead deepened. “Anyway, they’re cleaning house. Starting fresh. And oddly enough, I’m the fresh they want.”

“You’re going to be a head coach?”

“That’s what they tell me. I’ll be the youngest college coach in Division I hockey. Hell, I’m so young most high schools wouldn’t even hire me.”

“Jack, that’s great,” I said. “I’m really happy for you.”

“There’s an interim coach right now. They play Dad’s team this weekend, and I’m going to hang out and observe the team in action.”

“I can’t believe you’re coming home.”

“I talked to Marina, and she said it would be okay if we went out to dinner and talked. But only if you want to.”

I stared at him, and he grinned at me. Memories of us when we were young poured over me. He pulled me into a hug. “I want my baby brother back.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Justin. I’m sorry for everything I did to make your life miserable. Janae said you and Dad have been talking.”

“A little. We still have some stuff to work through.” I swallowed and felt the tears fill my eyes. “Can we not do this here?”

He put his arm around me and dragged me into the changing room. He chatted about hockey and a big breakup with some girl while I changed out of my costume.

We took a cab to the small restaurant Marina and I had eaten at the previous night. They spoke English there, and the food was excellent.

Jack talked and talked, catching me up on everything he had been doing for the last few years. In the middle of the conversation, I realized how much I had missed him.

“You seem different,” I said.

“How so?

“You’re kind of happy. It’s scary.”

“I told you. I’m tired of being so angry.”

“I missed you, Jack.”

He stopped jabbering and stared at me. He had the same blue eyes as my mother.

“I am sorry. For everything. The things I said to you were terrible, and I would understand if you didn’t want to forgive me.”

“I came home to put the past behind me. Not to forget, but to forgive.”

He reached across the table and squeezed my hand.

“So, are you seeing anyone special?” he asked.

“Uh…,” I stuttered. I didn’t know what to tell him. I had barely admitted to myself that I was sort of seeing CJ. Janae teased me about him. Eli insisted we had been dating from the moment I looked at him, and Marina gave me knowing glances. I was almost sure my dad had figured it out. The checkout lady at the grocery store was the only person I had actually told about him.

“You don’t have to tell me. I’ve never been very nice about you dating guys.”

“I am,” I mumbled.

“You are what?”

“Seeing someone. It’s just, I don’t dare tell people.”

“Jeesh, is he married or something?”

“No!”

“Then what’s the problem?”

I took a quick drink of water. “Do you remember what you said to me when you caught me with that guy in the locker room?”

He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. That was totally uncalled for, Justin. I’ve never forgiven myself for saying that to you.”

Several demons gathered around the table. I wanted to toss a glass of water at them for traveling all the way to Japan with me.

“You know, my last roommate was gay,” he said.

“What are you talking about?”

“The guy I roomed with when I played for this last team was gay. He’s been in a committed relationship for six years. He’s a fucking great guy. A lot of people know about him, but he doesn’t advertise it,” Jack said. “And he shouldn’t have to.”

“I’m dating a fucking hockey player,” I said firmly.

“It’s not Danny, is it?”

I gasped and my mouth dropped open. “What?”

Jack rolled his eyes. “I saw you with him. Remember?”

“But… you knew it was Danny and you didn’t out him?”

“I’m not that much of an asshole,” he said. “Is it Danny?”

“No. He’s new. CJ Daly.”

“The player who transferred?”

“Yeah.”

“Jesus Christ, Justin.”

“What?” He had a strange look on his face.

“The guy has some serious stuff going on,” he said. “Christ, you don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?”

“I don’t think I should be the one to tell you,” Jack said, shaking his head.

“Jack,” I warned. “What the hell is going on?”

“Didn’t Dad say anything? How well do you know CJ?”

“All Dad told me was to be nice to him.” The demons gathered around the table, crowding into me. My nerves were on red alert.

“Guess you took that to heart,” he mumbled.

“Fuck you!” I shouted. I stood up and banged the table with my knee, knocking over our drinks. A waiter came scurrying over with a towel, apologizing for the mess I made.

“Sit down, Justin!” Jack ordered as he helped the waiter clean up the drinks.

I quickly apologized to the waiter. He bowed and smiled, making me feel like a total douche.

“Look, I didn’t mean anything bad by my comment. But from the look on your face, you’re more than involved with this guy. Don’t you talk to each other?”

“We talk, just not about the past. Bad things happen to everyone,” I said.

“Yes, they do, and when they do, people should talk to each other.”

“We’re not exactly the poster family for good communication.”

“Agreed, but at least we’re trying.”

Jack sipped his water and I fiddled with my napkin.

“Tell me about CJ.”

“Fine, but this isn’t exactly pleasant dinner conversation,” he snapped. “And you have to promise to talk to him.”

“I will,” I grumbled.

He waved at a waiter and ordered a drink. “I need a little help to get through this.”

“Shit, how bad is it?”

“It’s not good, Justin.” He tipped the shot back and swallowed, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before he started to talk. His voice was quiet and serious, and made the demons climb on my shoulders so they could hear.

“His coach was a dickhead, Justin. Not only to him, but to all his players. For some reason, a lot chose to remain loyal to the guy. He’s been a coach in the league for many years.”

“What did he do?” I asked through clenched teeth.

“If your play wasn’t up to his standards, or if you made a mistake during a practice or a game, he’d go off on you. He freaked out on CJ because he thought CJ was going easy on some of his checks during one of the games. Someone recorded the tirade and the part where he had several guys line up and fire pucks at him.”

“What the fuck?”

“The coach called CJ names, but when he yelled some shit about being a fag, CJ got visibly upset. His reaction just made things worse, because guys started to ask questions. The coach was always calling his players sissy girls or fags. I don’t really know how, but it came out that CJ was gay. Rumor has it, he was involved with someone connected to the program. Maybe another player. I don’t know.”

He sighed and waved for another drink.

“The video was posted on YouTube. It went viral and the NCAA swooped down on the school. It didn’t help CJ, though. He took some severe beat-downs, and he wouldn’t press charges. I’m pretty sure he knows who attacked him.”

Jack took a huge breath and finished his drink.

“Dad thinks some guys are coming after him when he’s on the ice now, and he’s heard some talk about threats to CJ. But CJ’s not talking.”

“Why would he keep playing?”

“I don’t know? Maybe he needs the game. Dad flew out to talk to him when he saw the video. He offered CJ a scholarship.”

“Dad? What the hell?” My voice squeaked. “Why would he do that? I mean, things didn’t go so well when I came out.”

“You’d have to ask him, but I think that had something to do with it. CJ’s family pretty much abandoned him, leaving him alone to deal with this shit. Something like Eli and his folks.”

“Shit, I don’t understand any of this,” I said. “Why would CJ keep this from me?”

“Have you asked him about his past?”

I frowned. “Not exactly.”

“And how much does he know about you, Justin?”

I pursed my lips and shrugged.

He shook his head and signaled for the check when he saw the time.

“What else?” I asked.

“I’ve told you enough. You need to talk to CJ and Dad if you have more questions.”

J
ACK
MADE
the trip home with us, but we didn’t mention CJ again. Our talk weighed heavy on my mind, making the flight more exhausting when my brain wouldn’t shut the fuck off.

I was ready to get off the plane the moment the wheels touched solid ground. Everything moved in slow motion, from the baggage carousel to the lady walking in front of me.

Marina snapped at me, telling me to go home and sleep. The jet lag was going to hit hard, and she needed me back on the ice in two days. US Nationals were exactly one month away. They were earlier this year because of the Olympics.

“I’ll make sure he goes home,” Janae said. Jack agreed, and I wanted to strangle both of them.

I didn’t need sleep. I needed to find CJ to talk to him. Or kiss him stupid. I wasn’t sure what I wanted. I tried to call him, but it went straight to voice mail. I fired off a text but got no response.

I glanced at the time and figured he was in class, so I waited until Janae was in the shower and Jack was snoring on the couch before I left the house.

I sent Eli a text telling him I was on my way to campus. He told me to meet him at the coffee house in the union. I found him holed up in the back of the shop, typing furiously on his laptop. When he spotted me, he shouted and raced over to hug me.

Everyone in the café glanced at us.

“Do you know who this is?” Eli shouted. “It’s Justin Corrin, newly crowned men’s figure skating Grand Prix champion, just back from Japan.”

Several oohs and aaahs answered, and then everyone went back to typing, reading, or talking.

“What are you doing here?” Eli asked. “I thought you’d be sleeping or looking for your boy.”

“I can’t find my boy. And speaking of my boy, how come you didn’t tell me about CJ?”

The demons surrounded the table, listening carefully.

“Er, you gave me the impression that you didn’t want to know,” Eli said.

The demons moved closer, making me shiver.

“How did you find out?” he asked.

“Jack told me.”

“Jack? Who the hell is Jack?”

“My brother.”

“Wait a minute. I’m confused. Your brother, who you haven’t talked to in years, told you about CJ.” Eli scratched his head.

“He showed up in Japan.”

“Jack did?”

“Yep. Long story short?”

“Please,” Eli said.

“Jack is going to coach at CJ’s old school. He’s taking over the program.”

“Whoa,” Eli said. “My head is spinning. This is so like a soap opera.”

“Tell me what you know,” I said. “You owe me.”

“I owe you?” he said with a loud squeak.

“Yes. Sending me a three-word e-mail with no explanation. You had sex, for fuck’s sake, and you leave me hanging.”

“Oh, that.” He grinned sheepishly, biting his lip.

“Well?”

His face lit up. “It was awesome, and before you ask, I like it both ways.”

“Nice. Now tell me about CJ.”

He sighed. “I’d rather talk about sex with Taylor.”