Pickles The Parrot Returns: My Continued Adventures with a Bird Brain (6 page)

Like many dogs, he loves his squeaky toys and
Pickles can copy the sound of each and every one, which drives
Neeka into a frenzy sometimes because he thinks someone has stolen
his precious toys. Pickles gets a kick out of tormenting Neeka and
making him run around the house looking for the squeaky toy. If
Neeka looks toward Pickles for the sound, Pickles will stop as if
to say – nope, you’re getting cold. If Neeka thinks I’ve got it,
all I have to do is hold up my empty hands and he’s off searching
elsewhere. I can’t be sure, but I think Pickles has picked up on
this. Twice, recently, I’ve watched Pickles torment Neeka and when
Neeka came and stood below, staring up at Pickles to see if he had
his toy, Pickles raised his wings to the side as if to indicate
that his hands were empty and it was nowhere upon is person.

At the time of this writing, he’s almost 3
years old and still weighs 6 pounds. He’s long, lean, and spry, and
his vet says he’s the healthiest Min Pin she’s ever seen, as most
Min Pins are prone to obesity. Neeka free-feeds, there’s always a
good quality dry dog food available to him. Neil spent a lot of
time researching dry dog food – the ingredients, nutrition, the
pros and cons of some of the ingredients and how to read the labels
so you know if you’re getting the proper amounts of everything –
and he came to the conclusion that California Naturals is best.
Expensive, but worth it. Actually, it’s not expensive when you
consider the fact that it’s more nutritious so you feed much
less.

He gets dog cookies, and I make some of them
myself, but he gets no people food. Well, once or twice a month I
might give him a mouthful or two of leftover meat, potato or gravy
but he never expects food, begs for it or stares at us in
anticipation. Although, sometimes he’ll stare at us when we’re
eating but only because he’s impatient for us to finish. The minute
we set aside our plates, he steals a lap. He likes many kinds of
vegetables and will scrounge around Pickles’ cage for his fill of
them. I recently found out that grapes could be toxic to dogs so
now we have to be careful when we give one to Pickles, in case he
drops it.

Neeka was so tiny when we first got him that
he was unable to go through the existing dog door or go up and down
stairs and since we couldn’t always be home with him to take him
outside for his potties, we set up a litter box for him. We had
puppy-training pads on the bottom and a piece of carpet above that
– we bought cheap little mats so we could change them often. We
were a little concerned that he’d start thinking that all carpet
was to be peed on but that didn’t happen, he knew he had to do his
business in the box. He utilized the litter box all fall and winter
and once the weather got nice, he started using it less and less –
preferring to go outside on his own. By mid-summer, we removed the
box completely.

In my first book, I talked about Neeka’s
obsession with his dick. He’s stopped humping all his toys for the
most part but he still checks with, and blames his dick for
everything. If he is reprimanded for anything, he immediately pokes
his dick with his nose as if the dick gave him some bad advice and
got him into trouble. If he’s not sure about something, say a new
food item, he pokes the dick to see what the dick thinks before he
tries it. I have no idea what that’s all about but it’s pretty cute
as far as Dick Poking business goes.

We’ve had to come up with some different
phrasing or words so that Pickles or Neeka don’t get excited about
something you’re offering to the other. Pickles’ treats are called
‘snacks’ and Neeka’s treats are called ‘cookies’. Pickles gets a
lot of snacks throughout the day and it would be torture for Neeka
if we used a word that he associated with food and he didn’t get
any. So we can offer Neeka a cookie without Pickles demanding a
treat because he detests dog cookies. We’ve always taken Pickles
for ‘walks’, whether it’s outside in his backpack or just a walk
around the house on our hand so when we got Neeka, we knew that if
he understood ‘go for a walk’, he’d go nuts every time we asked
Pickles – which is fairly often during the course of the day. So,
for Neeka, going for a walk is going ‘outside’.

Neeka’s always sniffing around the floor
beneath Pickles’ cage and playstands so he sometimes gets a small
fluffy feather up his nose, which can cause a sneezing fit. Once
again, he looks like a character in a cartoon as he sneezes one
after another, after another. His head shakes violently, his lips
flap with each shake, the cartoon sound escapes his lips and with
each sneeze, his front feet come clear off the floor. It’s hard to
explain but it doesn’t matter – Pickles thinks this is the most
hilarious thing in the world. He gets as close to Neeka as possible
and laughs so hard you expect tears to roll down his cheeks. One
time, after Neeka gained control of himself, Pickles let out a
disappointed “Ohhhhh” and told Neeka to “Stop it”. What I think he
meant was,
don’t
stop it but because we
never tell Pickles ‘don’t stop it’, so he doesn’t know how to
explain that to Neeka.

Speaking of telling them to ‘stop it’, each
one knows the difference when the other is being reprimanded.
Neither one will stop what they’re doing, or look up to find out
what they’re doing wrong when the other is being scolded. Same
thing if we say ‘bad!’

Neeka has no interest in playing with
Pickles, Pickles is just some strange creature that talks and
throws food for him. If they’re ever on the floor, or the back of
the couch together, Neeka keeps his distance. If Pickles tries to
get too close, Neeka will move to keep, what he deems, is a
respectable, safe distance away from that beak. He’s never been
bitten but he seems to respect the power of the beak. Pickles, on
the other hand, would love to play with Neeka but Pickles tends to
be too beaky and could easily hurt Neeka. But they like each other
and are attentive to each other. I think either one would be lonely
without the other.

Pickles discovered a great new game one-day.
He was perched on the back of the rocking chair while I was tidying
up and Neeka, not realizing that Pickles was there, jumped onto the
seat cushion. It startled Pickles because the chair suddenly moved
beneath him and he had to flap his wings to maintain his balance.
The flapping alerted Neeka to the fact that Pickles was there so he
immediately jumped down to the floor. Pickles realized that Neeka
was causing the chair to give him a good ride and now that he was
able to hold on properly, he decided he liked the rocking but the
rocking stopped after a moment. He called Neeka, the way he usually
does, by calling his name with a kissy sound and quick whistle.
Neeka looked at me and I told him “Okay. Up.” So Neeka jumped back
on the chair and made it rock. Then I called Neeka back down and
Pickles called him back up. Pickles got to rock a few times before
Neeka decided there was no fun in this for him and left the
room.

I discovered an amazing thing. Neeka’s eyes,
like many small dogs, tend to get a little watery sometimes and the
tears can form crusties below his eyes. My vet told me to wash the
area and apply Vasoline every couple of days but I found that the
Vasoline usually adheres a lot longer than that – up to a week
sometimes – so tears don’t get a chance to crust up, they just kind
of roll right off. Or, if they start to dry up, the Vasoline helps
Neeka to clean it off easier when grooming.

It’s difficult to have a small dog in Logan
Lake in winter. We tend to get a fair amount of snow and it’s just
too deep for the poor little thing to get around. Neil spends a lot
of time shoveling trails around the yard so Neeka can get around to
do his business.

Neeka’s favorite fetch toy is a white plastic
bone, about six inches long. When we’re sitting outside, around the
pond, I’ll toss it in different directions around the yard but I
get tired faster than he does so I’ll pretend to throw it one way
and when he runs, I’ll toss it in the opposite direction. This will
keep him busy for awhile as he runs through the entire trails
system and checks every nook, cranny and shrub. It’s kind of cruel,
but sometimes I throw it in a large shrub where he can’t easily
find it and he’ll spend an hour searching for it. He has a great
nose so I need to throw it downwind to buy more time.

When I play fetch with Neeka in the house,
down the hallway, there’s no carpeting so he ends up sliding the
last foot or so to the bone or ball. When he’s fetching outside,
sometimes he figures he’s still going to slide but what happens is
that his front feet catch on the ground so his back end keeps
going, sometimes flipping end-over-tea-kettle.

I’m not sure if it was deliberate or just a
coincidence but one time the bone landed in the pond and a couple
of minutes later Neeka ran by the aviary looking for it. Pickles,
who enjoys watching the fetch game, announced “Water”. Neeka just
ran on by but on his next lap past Pickles, Pickles said it again.
Neeka didn’t miss a beat as he changed direction and trotted to the
pond and found it. Note to self; don’t teach Pickles the words
tree, shrub, left and right.

Neeka likes to fence play with a couple of
dogs in the neighborhood and we sort of live on the edge of town so
people aren’t all that concerned if a dog gets loose and it
provides Neeka with some company now and then. His favorite
playmate – a small terrier mix – disappeared last summer. It was
just a matter of time because there are always coyotes around and
this dog was always loose. Whenever we were in the house and I
noticed the dog outside, Neeka would be sound asleep but as soon as
I said, “There’s your friend”, Neeka was gone in a flash. I felt
really bad when recently, I said to Neil “Remember how he’d jump up
whenever we said ‘There’s your buddy’?” and Neeka leapt up, ready
to bolt outside and I had to calm him down and convince him I said
something that just sounded like that.

Another dog came by once – he belonged to
someone visiting a neighbor down the road - and the two of them had
a great time running back and forth along the fence line.
Eventually, a guy came looking for his dog and Neeka hid in the
shrub beside the aviary and commenced barking. I gave him the
command to stop – and he did – but Pickles immediately took up the
cause as man and dog turned to walk away. The guy – the same guy
who had to go looking for a dog that he had lost control of, and a
dog that had no recall whatsoever – had the nerve to snidely remark
over his shoulder “He listens well, eh?”

“
Not my dog” I snapped back at him but
of course, he figured I was trying to say I was taking care of
someone else’s dog, not that it was my parrot who was barking. Good
thing though, because then he’d think I couldn’t even control a
bird, let alone a dog. Damn that bird, always getting me into
predicaments. Regardless, I never bothered to explain.

I keep Neeka exercised in winter by throwing
a ball from the couch at the far end of the livingroom, down the
long hallway and into the bedroom. Well, most times we manage to
get it down there but all too often, a bad throw sends it
ricocheting off walls, furniture, appliances and even people. How
we haven’t put it through the TV screen, I’ll never know, because
it’s just to the side of the ball path. Pickles enjoys watching the
game and will call Neeka back if Neeka gets sidetracked with the
ball on the bed but he’ll only put up with so much ricocheting and
loud bangs before he yells “Stop in NOW.”

Neeka’s a great little dog, very easy to have
around and a wonderful companion. It’s easy to take him places
because of his size and he keeps me active by forcing me off my
cottage cheese ass and off the computer for nice leisurely walks
around the lake or trails. It’s especially nice when the weather’s
good enough to take Pickles with us in his backpack. But I’ll talk
about that later.

I’m not really concerned about Pickles safety
around Neeka and as I said, Neeka gives a wide berth to Pickles and
is content to observe him from a safe distance. If Pickles tries to
get close to him, Neeka moves away. We’ve all heard the stories
like the cat and the crow who were best friends, the Great Dane who
babysat a clutch of baby chickens or about dogs who nurse kittens.
Neeka is like that; he’s gentle, non aggressive and has never shown
the slightest interest in harming Pickles. Pickles has freedom from
his cage all day long so obviously, there will be times when my
back is turned or I’ve left the room momentarily and the two of
them may be alone briefly. We are extremely confident that there
would never be a problem but we are also hyper alert during those
times for sounds or indications indicating otherwise.

As many of you know, from my last book, I
hate cooking or anything remotely wifely. However, I’ve always
enjoyed cooking for my pets. I made kitty cookies when I had cats –
God, I miss having cats – dog cookies for all my dogs and of
course, all the cooking I do for Pickles. I always made meatloaves
and froze large trays for my past dogs but stopped doing that when
we got Neeka as I wanted to make sure he was getting a balance diet
– feeding the meatloaf could upset that balance. Anyway, I’ll throw
in a favorite dog cookie recipe here …

1 ½ cups all-purpose flour

¾ cup oats

¼ cup wheat germ

¼ cup creamy peanut butter

¼ cup vegetable oil

¼ cup honey

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 cup of water

Mix all ingredients well.

Roll into any 1 ½ inch balls, place on an
ungreased cookie sheet and flatten with a fork.

Bake at 325F for 15 to 20 minutes, or until
golden brown.

Here’s a recipe for a dog shampoo. The smell
of cider dissipates quickly on your dog.

1 part dish soap

1 part apple cider