Pickles The Parrot Returns: My Continued Adventures with a Bird Brain (17 page)

I had been dusting the livingroom one day
while I wasn’t feeling well. I started to get dizzy so flopped
myself down on the couch to rest. I decided to take a little nap
but Pickles wasn’t having it. He’s usually really good about
letting us sleep on the couch, especially if we’re not feeling
well, but today he decided to squawk that annoying noise at me to
show his displeasure. He climbed down the corner of his playstand
and started splaying his wings. I anticipated the launch, reached
for the duster on the table and held it up between us at the moment
he took to the air.

It was too late for Pickles. He had taken off
and was heading straight for it – there was about four feet between
the couch and the stand, which left him only two feet to do an
about face. He put the breaks on just inches from the duster, with
his talons out before him like eagle claws poised for the prey, as
his wings slanted backwards and propelled him up so that he could
twist and drop back onto the stand.

I don’t advocate negative reinforcement, but
I’d just found the perfect defense to keep him from flying to the
couch when we’re watching TV. He doesn’t fly much but some days he
refuses to leave us alone and constantly flies over to mess with
us. Not any more. I’m so bad.

Speaking of both fear and negative
reinforcement, we use nothing but positive reinforcement with
Pickles, except for two things. We tend to keep the feather duster
close by and when we see Pickles thinking of flying over, we
pretend to reach for it and that stops him in his tracks. It’s not
waved at him; it’s just a reminder that he might not want to be
near it. He simply stops thinking of flying over and gets busy
doing something else, with no hard feelings.

The other thing we have is a red, remote
control car. It’s a little convertible, about eight inches long
with the batteries removed so that it is no longer remote. I’ll
talk about it a little more in another chapter but for now, I’ll
just say that we keep it under his cage sometimes – for the times
he gets in the mood for climbing down from his cage to the floor.
He can’t climb down from his playstands because they have been
built with legs in the middle so that he can’t reach them to slide
down. And he seldom flies when he wants to go somewhere, he prefers
to walk as it offers a more scenic and entertaining route.

He doesn’t like the car but as long as he
can’t see it, it doesn’t bother him to have it under his cage.
Every few months or so, he gets into stages where he wants to walk
around so after he does it a few times, we show him the car and
place it below the cage. At some point, he forgets it’s there and
climbs down but once he gets to the metal cage curtain for his
final descent, he sees the car and scrambles back up. It snaps him
out of his mood for wandering, we remove the car and he’s good for
weeks or months after that. I’m not proud of using the feather
duster and car techniques but it solves both of those issues while
we lack any other solution.

As I mentioned in a previous chapter, Pickles
does not like certain red colors. We have to be careful about us,
or guests wearing red clothing and although most reds are fine,
when we least expect it, he freaks out. I can’t discern between the
colors but obviously, parrots can. If a guest wears a scary red,
Pickles will hold a grudge forever. He will not allow that person
to get too close to him in the future because he still associates
them with red. Pickles is friendly with everyone, at all times, but
not in this case and not for a long time after.

Pickles seems to forget about items he hasn’t
seen for awhile. If a toy doesn’t remain in rotation and ends up
sitting in the toy chest for too long, he’s a little afraid of it
when it finally pops back up. For two years, we had a playstand
with a cat scratch post and box sitting on it. He loved the box
because it had holes on all sides so he could go in and out or play
peek-a-boo. A three inch ball, with a bell in it, dangled from a
ledge above the box and he loved to lay on his back on the carpet
and play with the ball with his feet, hang upside down on it, beat
it up and make love to it. It was his very favorite thing to
do.

We like to rotate the stands like we do the
toys and we removed the cat scratch stand for a few months. By the
time we brought it back out, he was scared of it and refused to go
anywhere near it. One of these days we’ll bring it back out and get
him used to it again but we haven’t tried for awhile because it got
ruined in storage and needs to be fixed up a bit. By the way, this
scratch post/box has the carpet stapled, not glued, as glue is
toxic but he never chews on it anyway, for some reason.

Sometimes, Pickle will run to his Fun Factory
or log cabin for protection if he’s fearful of something and this
is what he did one day when a friend walked in wearing a bright
colored shirt of reds and purples. Pickles let out a loud squawk as
she entered the room and he scrambled to his log cabin on top of
the cage. All he did though is stick his head inside with the rest
of his body still exposed. Like an ostrich sticking its head in the
sand – I can’t see you, so you can’t see me! Now and then he would
back out, spy the colorful shirt and duck back in.

My friend wanted to talk to Pickles though so
I had her cover her shirt with a jacket and eventually Pickles
noticed and ventured out of the cabin. “Go home scary” he said
quietly. He might have been telling my friend to go home but I told
her that he thought the ‘scary’ thing had gone home which thrilled
her to not only hear Pickles talk, but that he said something that
made sense to her.

And, of course, there’s Pickles’ ‘mock
terror’. He loves this. He’ll pretend something is scary and start
flapping his wings, screaming bloody murder as he rises up with
elongated neck swaying like a cobra, as if something’s terrorizing
him. He does this all for my benefit because when he finally stops,
he’ll look at me and burst out laughing as he runs around his cage
laughing and bobbing his head. He’ll stop suddenly, peer intently
into my face and say “Scary” then burst out laughing and carry on
running around the cage.

So, you never know with Pickles. One day you
can walk in with a box and he assumes I ordered new toys or food
items for him and the next day a box will scare the poop out of
him. Most new things he takes in stride but when we least expect
it, it scares him.

“
The whole world steps aside
for the man who knows where he is going.  But for the parrot
who knows where he's going, everybody just says "What the hell are
you doing on the floor??  You get back up!!!"  I know
where I'm going, I just can't always get there.”

“
I think it would be really
funny to go for a fly and land in a pot of
chili.  No wait - I think I got funny
and painful mixed up.”

“
I got bored and decided to
go for a walk in the house.  I got half way down the hall and
then I thought - I wonder if this is really half way?  So I
found dad's measuring tape and measured it.  I wasn't half way
after all but it was close enough.”

“
If I went for a walk in the
forest, I bet all the wild birds would tease me for walking instead
of flying.  But I wouldn't care.  I'd say - Oh
yeah?  And they'd say - "Yeah!"  And I still wouldn't
care, I’d just keep walking until me feet got sore.”

“
What is failing?  How
can you fail if you're like me and never know what you're doing in
the first place?  Like, if I’m walking along my tree branches
- do, de do, de do - and suddenly I trip and fall - I end up
flying!  Woo hoo!  And then I fly right into a wall
and end up in a sink full of dirty dishes and soapy water and I
almost drown.  Oh ... I see ... never mind.”

“
If you were to fly to the
moon, I bet you could pick up some pretty cool junk floating around
along the way.  You might even find those Russian dogs that
were lost in space in the 1960's.  I bet they'd be really
happy to see all the new kinds of toys people have come up with for
dogs since then.”

“
You people should choose
your words carefully. Humans keep too many words in them, which
makes them too heavy to fly.”

“
If I went for a walk in the
forest and found a dead squirrel, I’d feel sorry for him but I’d
also wonder how he tastes.”

“
When I flew into that
window, mom said it was a miracle that I didn't break my
neck.  I think it's a miracle that air can get so
hard.”

“
Walking is good for your
feet and legs.  Plus it makes the ground feel
needed.”

“
Do not walk behind me, for
I may not lead but if I do, I’ll leave a poop trail. Do not walk
ahead of me, for I may not follow but if I do, I’ll nip your butt.
Do not walk beside me either, just let me alone pick at things on
the ground.”

“
I started walking with a
limp.  I'm hoping mom will give me one of the candy canes that
are hanging on the tree.  I'd be like, one step - one bite,
one step - one bite ...”

To clip or not to clip – there’s a heated
debate. That’s a really tough one. Pickles’ breeders, Thomas and
Sylvia, allowed Pickles to learn to fly before he was clipped and
just before he came to me. Learning to fly while young is important
for balance and confidence. When Pickles is flighted, he flies
extremely well.

In my last book, I mentioned that we might
try free flight with Pickles and since then, we did. It didn’t work
out well. Here is a parrot who is out of his cage all the time
except to sleep at night and has playstands or rope/boing set-ups
in other rooms so that he can join us wherever we are. He’s happy
to hang out in different areas with us and what’s important to him
is that he has company. If we’re too busy, he has his cage,
playstand and variety of toys in the livingroom to amuse him. But
when we stopped clipping him, suddenly none of that was good enough
for him and he had to be by our side, or on us, at all times. And
if he was right there with you, he demanded your full attention so
you could do nothing else. This just wasn’t practical.

Some people say birds were meant to fly and
they have a point, of course. But on the other hand, birds were not
meant to live in houses. Most people cannot supply bird safe homes
for a flighted bird who can access every inch of the house. That
means, flighted birds must be supervised the entire time that they
are out and the rest of the time, they must be caged. I’ve heard
some bird owners say that their parrots are free to fly around the
home all day – that they know their boundaries and they basically
stick with their humans the entire time. If that can be done, I
think it’s great but let’s face it; this isn’t practical for the
average bird owner. However, I have to wonder if most free-flighted
birds aren’t caged the majority of the time or, at the very least,
have an outdoor aviary or designated bird room. I know of one
person who lets her bird fly free around the house but only when
she has time to supervise – about an hour a day. The rest of the
time, that bird is left by himself in a spare room that is set up
for just him. I’m not saying it can’t been done and it’s awesome if
you have the means to do it but most people do not and I think it’s
unfair for people to insist that others should let their birds fly
free in the home.

We choose to keep Pickles’ flying to a
minimum, mostly for his own safety and also to keep him out of the
stirfry. We prefer chicken, rather than parrot, in our Chinese
food. In Pickles’ case, he has a very happy home life with total
freedom from the cage, lots of toys and foraging opportunities,
tons of attention and interaction from Neil and I and the
opportunity (through playstands and ropes) to accompany us in all
the other rooms if he so chooses.

Pickles is seldom clipped and when he is,
it’s in the summer because we are traveling or walking outside with
him and don’t want accidents to happen and also because we get a
lot of company during the nice weather and people can’t be trusted
to go in and out doors without leaving them open. We have a system
but guests can’t be expected to follow our rules – it’s too easy
for them to forget there’s a bird in the house.

Even when Pickles is clipped, it’s a mild
clip, which allows him to fly short distances if he’s startled,
rather than crash to the ground. Usually, when he’s startled off
his high playstand in the livingroom, he has enough height to make
it through the kitchen, down the hall and into the far bedroom. A
hard bank at the end of the hall, and just before the bedroom, will
carry him into the bathroom. We always try to remember to shut the
toilet seat or shut the door if we’re running a bath but one hot
summer day, I left the bathroom door open while I soaked in the tub
because it was too hot with the door closed. I heard a screech from
the livingroom – something had startled Pickles – and then I heard
the wing swooshing down the hall. He was losing momentum as he
arrived at the end of the hall but managed to swerve into the
bathroom and land perfectly on my bent, but soapy/slippery knees. I
think I still have scars from him trying to grab a foothold and I
was a little annoyed because I had taken a bath rather than a
shower to preserve my make-up but all his flapping, sliding and
splashing took care of that. After I got him under control, I set
him on the tub ledge to entertain himself while I finished my bath.
This too is slippery for him so he sat in one spot mad, muttering
between preening and complaining, “Water, bad”.

Even when Pickles is able to fly, and knows
he can, he prefers to walk on those rare occasions he’s in the
traveling mood. Maybe it’s because flying is tiring for him, since
his chest muscles aren’t as toned as they should be for flight, but
I think walking is more interesting for him because there’s so many
things to discover along the way. He’s not usually that comfortable
on the floor for long but lately, he’s been a little more
interested and we’re not as anal as we used to be about him being
down there.