Phone Calls From a Rock Star (17 page)

“
I love you, Bella. This is
the best gift you could give me. All I want for Christmas is
you.”

He placed his lips on my mouth before I
could respond. His kiss intensified but I felt absolutely nothing.
I put my hands on his chest and shoved him away.

“
No. I don’t want to do
this.” The tears blinded me momentarily but I didn’t miss the spark
of anger in his eyes. “Take me back to the school or I’ll call a
cab. I don’t care.”

He sighed, heaved his body off the bed and
strolled toward the window overlooking the parking lot. He kept his
back to me, his shoulders tense. Fear trickled through my blood and
I wondered if I’d angered him enough to make him force me into
having sex.

Finally, he released a long breath and ran
his hands through his hair before turning to face me.

“
Fine.” His lips were in a
tight line as I picked up my bag and followed him out the
door.

A heavy silence hung over us the entire ride
home. I watched the bare trees whistle past the windows as I
contemplated how to tell him I was done. He wasn’t the man that I’d
thought he was. He was everything that Jake had feared.

It wasn’t until we neared school that he
finally spoke.

“
I wasted a lot of money on
you today, Bella,” he said, tone low and dangerous. “The least you
could have done was shown a little appreciation. Any other girl in
this school would be happy to switch places with you.”

I couldn’t respond – I was too busy fighting
my tears. I just wanted to get back to school and escape.

We pulled through the gates and parked. He
grabbed my arm before I could jump out of the car. “I don’t think
we should see each other anymore.”

“
Fine,” I mumbled. He
released me and I fled his car. As I stormed through the campus, I
chastised myself for being the biggest idiot to ever walk the face
of the Earth. How stupid I’d been to think he actually liked me!
How blind I’d been to actually think he cared!

When I reached my room, I slammed the door,
startling Annie. A box on her bed was nearly full of clothing and
she added an armful of jeans on top.

“
What are you doing?” I
asked. She never packed a box to go home and we still had a week of
school left.

“
I’m moving to Cammy’s
room. I thought you’d appreciate the privacy.” She crossed her arms
over her chest, her stance daring me to defy her, eyes dark and
firm.

“
That’s totally
ridiculous,” I spat. “I don’t want you to move out.”

“
You’re never here. You
don’t hang out with us or else you break plans. You’re always with
Lance and your new friends. You drink too much.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to explain
what had just happened but my anger over the incident with Lance
collided with the hurt and guilt of Annie’s words. “So you’re just
abandoning me, huh? What kind of friend are you?”

She dropped her arms, disbelief flaring in
her eyes. “What kind of friend am I? What kind of friend have you
been? Did you know that Zach and I have been going out for two
months now? Did you know that Cammy’s parents had to put her dog to
sleep last week? Did you know that my parents have been arguing
more and more lately? Huh? Did you?”

She was nearly screaming, and I flinched as
I dropped to my bed. No, I hadn’t known any of that. Too wrapped up
in my own life I’d been.

But she wasn’t finished. “What about Jake?
When’s the last time you talked to him? What’s going on in his
life? Do you even care?”

Tears threatened to spill down my cheeks but
my stupid, stubborn pride prevented them from falling. “Why don’t
you call him? You’ve always been a much better candidate for his
friendship than me.”

I wanted to suck the words back in but it
was too late. Guilt set them free.

She narrowed her eyes at me for a moment
then picked up her box and stormed out of the room. I fell back on
my bed and allowed misery to take over as I wallowed in
self-pity.

***

I managed to keep busy the final week before
Christmas break. Ms. Norbert had passed out scripts, and we were to
know the first scene by heart when we returned. I studied my script
all alone in my room and caught up on all my missing assignments. I
avoided the cafeteria until my hunger grew to be too much to
bear.

I kept my head down as I walked in the halls
between classes. Too many people stared and whispered, and I
couldn’t stand it. I was afraid they would see the guilt in my
eyes.

It was tradition at our school that on the
Saturday before students left on Christmas break to have a small
party in the Student Center. Students made ornaments to hang on the
enormous tree and exchanged gifts with friends. Christmas carols
were played and eggnog consumed. Annie, Cammy and I always wore
Santa hats and made outlandish ornaments. We would laugh and sing
along with the radio as we hung our creations on the tree.

But I didn’t go this year. I went home
instead.

I moped around the house, leaving only to
finish my last minute shopping. I put up the tree in our family
room and decorated it alone. My parents were busy at work and Seth
was always out with his friends. I wrapped my gifts and shoved them
under the tree.

My family finally came together on
Christmas. It lifted my spirits, especially when Seth opened the
tickets Jake had sent me. But Jake had surprised even me by
sneaking in backstage passes. I had never even opened the envelope
when I received it, just shoved it in a little box and wrapped
it.

I was thinking of Jake that night when he
called. I had just crawled into bed so I slumped down on my pillow
and answered.

“
Merry Christmas, Iz,” he
said.

“
Merry Christmas,” I
gushed. His voice was a buoy in the dark ocean. I clung to it,
determined not to let go. “Where are you?”

“
My dad’s house now but
tomorrow I’m leaving for West Village University. They won our
college tour kickoff contest. We’ll play there New Year’s Eve but
my band is going early. Rob found a couple cool locations, and he
wants us to shoot a video. It’ll nice to be in one place for a few
days.”

I loved West Village. It was only a couple
hours from my small town and my entire family visited the
university the summer before Seth’s senior year. He had decided not
to go there but I fell in love with the school and the town. And
the sweet hotel we had stayed in on the outskirts of town.

“
Where are you
staying?”

“
West Village Inn, why?” he
asked, curiosity raging in his voice.

I squealed then told him about our trip and
explained how I loved that place. “Just don’t trash that hotel,
huh?”

“
One of these days I’ll
tell you the story behind that whole incident.” I heard someone
call his name. “Listen, angel, I’m at my dad’s house and I have to
go. I’ll call you soon, okay?”

“
Sure, Jake. Thanks for
calling.”

“
Night, Iz. Take
care.”

After plugging my phone into the charger, I
snuggled under my comforter. I fell asleep with a smile on my face
for the first time in a long time.

***

Gloom settled its dark cloud over my heart
once again two days after Christmas. My father whisked my mother
away on a cruise—his gift to her, and Seth left with a bunch of his
college buddies for a ski trip, leaving me stuck home alone with
nothing to keep me company but my growing depression.

I sat on the couch that night, eyes on the
television but not really seeing the program. I had a bowl of ice
cream in my hand and occasionally I’d lift a spoonful to my mouth
but I didn’t really taste it. My cell phone rang and I snatched it
up quickly, hoping it was Jake. But it wasn’t. I didn’t recognize
the number at all. I answered anyway.

“
Hi, Bella,” Krysti
greeted. “I hope you had a nice Christmas.”

“
I did, thanks. And you?” I
responded politely. Curiosity burned behind my words and I wanted
to just come out and ask her what she wanted.

“
Yes.” She paused. “Okay,
I’m just going to say this. I know we’re not really friends but I
feel guilty I didn’t call you earlier.”

“
What?” I asked
hoarsely.

“
The whole relationship
with Lance was a fluke. It was a bet between him and Dean.” My
heart stopped and my head started spinning. This time, no alcohol
was involved. “Lance was supposed to get you to sleep with him
before Christmas.”

I wanted the words to be a big lie. I wanted
her to be angry and jealous because Lance had dumped her for me. I
didn’t want to be a fool.

“
Kimberly already told her
entire group of friends. As a matter of fact, Lance was seeing
Kimberly on the sly. She knew about the bet and tried to help him
win.”

I closed my eyes, as my chest ached in
misery. No. This could not be true.

“
I’m sorry, Bella,” she
whispered, tears in her voice.

“
How do you know all this?”
I managed to utter.

“
Because he did the same
thing to me.” I had to hang up before she told me more. My head
already felt as though it would spin off my neck. “I lied to him
when I told him I messed around at the concert because I wanted to
make him jealous. It worked, sure, but it backfired in my face. He
used me, and when he dumped me for you, I threatened to expose him.
That’s why he didn’t take you to the dance. But I couldn’t stand
him anymore. I hated him and myself. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you
but I was so embarrassed.”

“
It’s okay,” I somehow
mumbled.

“
I’m sorry,” she repeated
and then ended the call. I fought the urge to sling my bowl across
the room. Instead, I sat frozen for ten whole minutes before I ran
to my room and packed a bag. I didn’t care where I was going but I
couldn’t stay here.

I drove around for hours until I followed a
muddy road to a hill overlooking a farmer’s field. A thin blanket
of snow covered the ground, and the air was chilly. I got out,
hugging my coat to my chest, and peeked at the emptiness below me,
imagining fireflies lighting up the sky. A small sob escaped as I
raced back to my car and jumped on the highway. It took me two more
hours to get there and when I parked in the lot, I called his cell.
He answered on the third ring.

“’’
lo?” he said
sleepily.

”
Jake,” I sobbed. “What
room are you in?”

“
Iz,” he said, a little
more coherently. “Are you okay?”

“
What room, Jake?” I
reiterated. “Please!”

“
Um, three twenty-five.
Why?”

“
I’m on my way up,” I said,
ending the call and shoving the phone in my pocket.

The sleeping old man behind the desk didn’t
even notice as I flew by and hit the elevator button. The tears
were building, I could feel them clawing their way out. When the
doors opened, I jumped in and punched the button for the third
floor several times until the doors closed. Anguish engulfed me,
but I fought it as hard as I could.

Finally, the elevator deposited me on Jake’s
floor. I read the sign pointing the direction to Jake’s room and
bolted around the corner, nearly plowing into a burly man sitting
in a chair in the middle of the hall. He snagged my arm without
rising from his seat.

“
Hold on a minute, young
lady,” he began, hoisting his large, muscular frame out of the
chair. “Where do you think you’re going?”

I couldn’t speak, the misery was now in my
mouth, waiting for it to open.

“
It’s all right, Frankie,”
said a soft voice. “She’s with me.”

I peeked around the mountainous man and
spotted my angel, standing in the door of his room. His shorts were
crumpled and his t-shirt a wrinkled mess. His hair stood at awkward
angles and his eyes begged for more sleep. He never looked more
beautiful.

Frankie released me as the dam broke, and I
flung my body in Jake’s arms. He tightened them around my waist and
pulled me inside his room.

“
Hey, Iz,” he whispered
into my hair before dropping a kiss on the top of my
head.

Chapter Thirteen

He stood against the door, holding me
quietly while I sobbed into his shirt. He didn’t say much, only
soft words of comfort, while he stroked my hair and planted little
kisses on my head. When the tears slowed, I sniffed and stepped
back, frowning at his shirt. I swiped at it, embarrassed how wet it
was.

“
I’m so sorry,” I mumbled.
“I didn’t mean to ruin your shirt.”

He chuckled and took my head in his hands.
His face was so soft and his eyes so gentle the tears stirred up
inside me again.

“
You didn’t ruin it, angel.
And it will wash.” He pushed my damp hair from my cheeks and
steered me further into the room. He pointed at the bed. “Sit.
We’ll talk.”

I did as he asked and took a deep,
shuddering breath. “I messed up, Jake. Oh, I messed up
horribly.”

He squatted in front of me and rested his
hands on my thighs. “Okay. We’ll figure this out. We’ll fix
it.”

“
I don’t know how,” I said
as my bottom lip trembled irritably.

“
Tell me what happened.”
His brilliant blue eyes darkened in concern, and I was thankful I
had him. But would I have him for long? Would he be embarrassed to
know me? I stared into his eyes, so warm and caring and they
answered my question. No. Jake would stick by me.