Phoenix Arizona (12 page)

He got out and slammed the car door without looking back. He knew if he did, his will would crumble and he would fall into Matt’s arms, begging for forgiveness. Why should he be the one begging? He hadn’t started all of this.

Phoenix climbed the steps to his lonely apartment, kicking himself in the pants for being such an ass. He could have handled the situation better. Instead, he had acted like a five-year-old having a tantrum. Maybe he could call Matt later and see if he had blown it or if Matt would give him another chance at the drive in the country.

This relationship shit was hard.

Phoenix stopped short when he noticed his door slightly ajar. He turned and hightailed it back downstairs, but Matt was nowhere in sight.

What if Armando was hurt?

Phoenix ran back up the stairs with that thought in mind. He slowly pushed his door open and stepped inside the apartment.

He scanned the kitchen but didn’t see Armando anywhere. One of the kitchen chairs was turned on its side, lying on the floor. His instincts told him to get the hell out of there, but he needed to make sure his best friend wasn’t lying somewhere hurt. Phoenix gripped Matt’s T-shirt tight in his hand as he tiptoed down the hall. He checked the bathroom, but it was empty. His bedroom was, too. The only other place to check was Armando’s bedroom.

Taking a deep breath, he slowly pushed the door open. A fist came at him and knocked him clean on his ass.

Phoenix cried out and slapped a hand over his eye as he scrambled to get to his feet.

“Fuck, Nix. What the hell were you creeping around here for?” Armando grabbed him as he tried to flee the apartment.

Phoenix stopped and swung around, still holding his eye, seeing that the big doofus was fine.

Armando pulled him into the kitchen and grabbed the ice tray from the freezer. “I can’t believe I hit you. What were you doing?” Armando placed the ice cubes in a kitchen towel and then turned, placing his hands on his hips. “Hey, why are you here?”

“First,” Phoenix said as he growled. His damn eye hurt like hell. “Why was the door open and that chair knocked over?” Phoenix waved a hand at the overturned chair. “What was I supposed to think?” Phoenix tilted his head back as Armando laid the makeshift ice pack on it. Fuck, it hurt. “My shirt! Where’s my shirt?” Phoenix’s head snapped up, which made the towel with the ice cubes wrapped in it fall to the floor, the ice scattering.

Armando crossed the kitchen and grabbed the shirt from the floor, shoving it under Phoenix’s nose. “Calm down, Nix.”

“So why does it look like a crime scene here?” Phoenix inhaled Matt’s scent and wanted to cry. He missed his wolf already. He had been a total ass but didn’t know how to fix it. He wasn’t even sure who was in the wrong, and right about now, he didn’t care. All he wanted was his Matt.

“Henry came by, and we got into an argument. He acted like a toddler and knocked the chair over. I stormed into my room and he stormed out of the front door. I guess he didn’t close it all the way. Now, why are you here?” Armando tossed the cubes in the sink and grabbed some more.

“It seems to be the night for arguing.” He winced when his friend laid the towel on his eye once again.

“What could you two possibly fight about? You refuse him his favorite chew toy?” Armando must have seen the hurt expression on Phoenix’s face because he followed his sarcasm with a, “Sorry.”

“I freaked out because of this.” Phoenix raised the T-shirt to show Armando and then shoved it back by his nose, inhaling deeply. “I said some pretty rotten things. I’m angry because I’m not the one controlling what I want. He’s driving me nuts. Why should I run behind him? Why should I miss him when he’s not here? It’s not fair, Armando.”

“Oh, sweetie, don’t you see what’s happening to you?” Armando pulled the towel to his lap as he sat down. He had a warm smile on his face that was scaring the crap out of Phoenix. Armando wasn’t taking shots at Matt. This was just creepy as hell.

“No,” Phoenix answered as he lowered his head, wishing he could make sense of everything. “Please tell me. I’m afraid I’m losing my mind.”

“You’re not losing it. You’re in love for the first time, and it has you scared shitless. You’re questioning everything, fighting it. When you love someone, you trust them with some of your control. Come here, baby.” Armando held his arms out, and Phoenix scooted his chair over, resting his head on Armando’s broad chest, comforted by his best friend. “It’s all new to you. That’s all. Call him, Nix. Explain your fears. How much do you want to bet he’ll come running back to you?” Armando ran his hand over Phoenix’s hair, giving Phoenix the comfort he so desperately needed.

“You think?” Phoenix chewed on his bottom lip, not so sure Matt would come anywhere near him right now. Phoenix had acted like a total ass. If he were Matt, Phoenix would be running as far away as he could from the madness. “I acted like a pretty big ass.” Phoenix played with the towel in his hand as he thought about what was just said to him. In
love
. Could it be as simple as that? Telling Matt that he loved him had been the hardest thing in the world to confess over the phone. It scared Phoenix that he wasn’t in control. It scared him that someone else held his heart. Phoenix didn’t know if he was coming or going, but he knew he couldn’t be without the strong man. Would he forgive Phoenix for his nuclear meltdown?

“Love will do that to you. It will make you act in the most uncivilized manner. You do things you normally wouldn’t do when you’re in love. Trust me, I know.” Armando snorted.

“Yeah, I remember.” Phoenix laughed.

“You would. Go, call him.” Armando pushed Phoenix’s head from his chest and ushered him into his room.

Phoenix sat on his bed, staring at the phone. He wasn’t afraid to admit he was a bit terrified to call. What if Matt told him to piss off? What would he do once the scent in the shirt wore off? Could he die from the pain? Not willing to find out, he picked the phone up and dialed, holding his breath as his stomach tied into a thousand different knots.

“Hello?”

Okay, Matt didn’t answer with his last name or use the business tone he had before. Did that mean he knew it was Phoenix?

“Talk to me, Phoenix.”

Guess that answers my question.
But even though Phoenix knew Matt was waiting for him to talk, his throat developed a lump and Phoenix was too busy fighting back the tears. God, he was such a wreck.

“Phoenix, is everything okay?” Matt sounded worried. Did that mean he still cared? He nodded, and then realized Matt couldn’t see his head bobbing up and down.

“I’m coming over.”

Matt hung up before Phoenix could even reply. He hit redial, but it went straight to voice mail.

Shit.
He felt like hiding.

Matt hadn’t gone far. He was only around the corner at the neighborhood bar waiting for his mate to calm down. He knew Phoenix would. Matt could see the fear on Phoenix’s face at what was happening to him.

Matt wanted to comfort him, but Phoenix hadn’t wanted it at that moment. He had allowed his own anger and selfishness to surface, and he kicked his own ass about that. What kind of a mate was he if he flew off the handle at their first argument? He should have helped Phoenix deal with his insecurities instead of thinking of his wounded pride. And it was wounded. Phoenix was pretty much telling him that he didn’t want to be mated to Matt. That had fucking hurt. He saw now that it was the fear talking. Too bad he hadn’t seen it an hour ago.

That would have saved him a massive headache.

After his phone call with Phoenix, Matt flew out of the bar when his mate wouldn’t respond on the phone.

Was something wrong?

Was Phoenix hiding and couldn’t speak?

All sorts of horrid images ran through his mind. Being a homicide detective, Matt had seen his fair share of gruesome things in his line of work, so all the images of past cases, and present, were haunting him as he climbed the apartment stairs.

Matt burst in with his gun aimed, searching the kitchen and then the living room. The two rooms were next to each other, so all he had to do was look to his left. Matt raised his arm and aimed when one of the bedroom doors opened.

“Fuck! Don’t shoot me, dog!” Armando’s hands flew up, and he froze on the spot, looking pissed as all hell and scared shitless at the same time.

“Where is Phoenix?” He lowered his weapon and ran into Phoenix’s bedroom. His mate was sitting on the side of his bed with a towel over his eye.

Matt knelt beside his mate after he holstered his gun. He pulled the towel away and then threw his head back and howled.

“Who fucking did this?” He probed Phoenix’s eye gently, seeing that the skin was trying to turn purple already. Whoever did this was dead.

Phoenix shrugged as he pulled back and replaced the towel onto his face. He could feel hesitation and…fear? Why was his mate afraid? Was the perp still here?

Matt turned his head to the guy standing in the door. Armando looked guilty as hell. What was going on here? “Who did this, Armando?”

“Not while your eyes are glowing, cop.” Armando crossed his arms over his chest, but took a step back.

“Tell me.” As his canines lengthened, Matt stood, feeling the anger mounting inside of him. To see his mate bruised cut Matt deeply. He wanted to seek vengeance.

“Oh, hell no.” Armando backed up further.

“Stop. Come here, Matt,” Phoenix called to him, and Matt immediately changed course. He pulled his mate onto his lap as he sat on the bed.

“Who, pup? Tell me. You have nothing to fear. I’ll protect you.”

“It was an accident,” Phoenix said as he grabbed Matt’s arm.

Matt’s head slowly turned toward the door, his rage mounting by the second.

“Armando! Did you do this?” Matt stood, but Phoenix was still attached to him. He wouldn’t let go. Matt tried to gently pry his mate from his arms, but Phoenix held on like a damn pit bull.

“Maybe,” Armando answered from outside the bedroom door.

Smart man.

“I thought something had happened and crept into the house. He thought I was a burglar or something. It was just a big misunderstanding…like earlier,” Phoenix pointed out.

Matt stopped in his tracks and looked down at his mate hanging from him. As badly as he wanted to kick Armando’s ass, Matt could see the hesitation in Phoenix’s pretty blue eyes.

“Can we talk?” Phoenix asked.

Matt nodded and then kicked the door closed in Armando’s face. He sat Phoenix on the bed and then sat down beside him. “What happened, pup?”

“I got scared and I didn’t know why I was scared. Armando set me straight. I guess I’m in love and don’t know how to handle it.” Phoenix talked so damn fast that Matt barely caught the words as they rushed by him.

“Oh, baby.” Matt pulled Phoenix to him. His mate straddled his lap and wrapped his arms around Matt’s neck.

“I’m sorry.” He muffled the words into Matt’s neck.

“It’s okay, pup.” Matt ran his hands down Phoenix’s back, luxuriating in the feel of having his mate in his arms again. Matt never wanted to let Phoenix go. He knew his mate was running scared, but Matt wished Phoenix would have just told him he was afraid. It would have saved them both a lot of grief. He was just as scared, but Matt wasn’t about to let it stop him from caring for his mate.

Although he had acted like an ass earlier.

But being in love never helped men think clearly. If anything, the brain rewired into something like a matrix of crossed wires and short circuits.

Matt silently cursed when his side vibrated. “Fuck. I swear I’m going to break this damn thing.” He flipped his phone open. “What!”

“Hey, don’t bite my head off.”

“Sorry, Valentine. Bad timing.” Thank fuck it hadn’t been the captain. Matt was in love, not suicidal.

“I’ll say. I just thought you would want to know that I found out what’s wrong with your mate. I had to go to the elders of our pack to get the answers.”

“Talk to me, John.”

“Follow me closely, Calico. When fate picks two people to be together, they are called mates. Now, there are those rare souls, yeah, souls, whose essence is connected on an even deeper level—an id level. It’s kind of like one soul that has been torn in two and is living in two separate bodies. Follow me so far?”

“I think so.” Matt rubbed his hand down Phoenix’s back.

“Their very breath of life—shadow spirit, if you will—is connected to their mate. The elders believe that even death doesn’t separate them, that they will be reborn to find each other again. You, my friend, are mated to your breath of life.”

Matt’s head spun at what Valentine was telling him. He glanced down at Phoenix and knew his partner and friend was telling him the truth. As soon as he met Phoenix last night he felt as if he had known the man his entire life. It was a strange feeling, but Matt had chalked it up to being mates.

“Is that why everything is accelerated in us?” Matt asked as he took in what Valentine was telling him.

“Yep. The separation is agonizing, and the bond will only grow deeper than anything anyone could ever imagine. You lucky bastard.” Valentine chuckled. “But get this. The elders believe you two have been finding each other over and over again since the dawn of time.”