Philip Van Doren Stern (ed) (189 page)

I
was
easy
with
them
and
as
careless
as
I
had
ever
been;
and
the fact
that
I
had
not
harmed
them
put
out
of
my
mind
the
truth
that I
had
tried
to
do
so.
Not
by
a
look,
an
intonation,
did
they
show
a memory
of
that
years'-old
episode;
and
what
they
could
forget
I
could forget
as
quickly;
or
could
replace
by
the
recollection
that
in
a
distant time
they
had
set
me
adrift
in
a
world
of
torment.

This
did
not
express
itself
even
in
my
mind.
It
lay
there
like
a
bulk of
unthought
thought;
which,
as
it
was
expressed
in
its
entirety
and not
in
its
parts,
had
to
be
understood
by
the
nerves
where
the
intelligence
lacked
width
and
grasp;
and
there
was
I
again
in
the
trough of
the
sea
and
twisting
to
any
wind.

In
a
little
time
I
had
reaccustomed
myself
to
the
new
order
of things.
The
immediate
past
of
wandering
and
strife
grew
less
to
be remembered,
and
my
new
way
of
life
became
sequential
and
expected.

I
knew,
and
there
is
contentment
in
that
kind
of
knowledge,
exactly what
I
should
do
on
the
morrow;
and
I
might
have
ventured
a
prediction
as
to
how
I
should
be
employed
in
the
month
to
come.
For life
gathered
about
me
in
a
web
of
unhasty
occupation
and
untiring leisure;
so
that
the
tiring
to
be
done
and
the
doing
of
it
flowed
sweetly to
each
other;
and
all
was
accomplished
without
force,
and
almost without
volition.

Many
times
my
horse
took
that
well-remembered
road,
and
it
became
as
natural
to
me
to
turn
in
that
direction
as
to
turn
to
the
rooms of
my
own
house.
For
I
found
there
much
that
I
desired,
even
unconsciously:
friendship,
companionship,
and,
more
than
all,
gaiety;
for their
young
lusty
brood
began
to
knit
themselves
about
my
life
and knot
themselves
into
it.

To
go
from
a
sedate,
unruffled
house
into
a
home
that
seethes
with energy
and
innocence,
and
all
the
animation
of
budding
life,
is
a notable
thing
for
one
who
has
come
to
the
middle
term;
and
though he
had
before
suffered
children
with
a
benevolent
impatience
he grows
to
be
thankful
if
they
will
notice
him
with
even
an
approach to
interest.

It
is
a
blessed
thing
that
whoever
wishes
to
be
welcomed
benevolently
by
a
child
will
be
so
welcomed;
for
the
order
of
young
years
is to
respond,
and
they
do
that
without
reservation.
Children
and
animals,
however
we
can
hurt,
we
cannot
hate;
for
they
are
without
reserve;
and
that
lack
is
the
one
entirely
lovable
quality
in
the
world.