phil jones2 (30 page)

To Phil's horror, a pink-haired individual in a lab coat complete with toy stethoscope was tottering his way toward him with a bucket full of what he suspected was slopping sea water.

'I'm awake! I'm awake!' he cried, sitting bolt-upright in bed and hoping that this display would prevent him from getting splashed.

'Oh...' said the man, letting the bucket hang limply from one of his spindly arms. 'That is somewhat disappointing.'

'Who are you and what are you doing here?' Phil asked, still nervously eyeing the bucket as it swayed near the ship's floor.

'I am the doctor!' the man proudly stated, puffing his almost concave chest out. 'I fix things and make sure everyone is okay!'

Phil eyed the man suspiciously, wondering if he was going to turn out like his so-called cleaner and pull a gun on him. 'Why have I never seen you before?'

The man turned sideways and vanished, all that remained was the bucket which seemed to levitate above the floor. 'I am very hard to spot.' he replied, returning to his previous position and visibility. 'I really like the medical equipment on this ship so I thought I would come aboard. Nobody noticed me until very recently when I got bored.'

'You got bored?'

The doctor nodded. 'There's only so much discussion you can have with the ship's computer before it runs out of things of interest to say.' he walked over and tapped on the wall with a skinny fist. 'Computer, have you anything new to tell me about medical stuff?'

'Negative, Doctor Samej. You have successfully memorised every detail in the Star Command library regarding medical procedures. Have a nice day.'

'So you're the Doctor around here?'

Semaj nodded, tapping idly at his stethoscope and giving him a wide-eyed look. 'I fix things and make sure everyone is okay!'

Phil stared at the machine attached to his arm and realised that he felt no immediate pain in spite of having been shot there. 'How long has this thing been on me?'

Samej stared at him blankly. 'You've been wearing that shirt ever since you got here.'

'Not the shirt! This device attached to my arm!'

The doctor gave him another strange look before clairvoyance dawned upon him. 'Ah, yes, the device! That's an artificial skin grafting and extraction unit or ASGE for short, they were first introduced into service in...'

'That's not what I asked!' Phil shouted, tapping at the device. 'How long has the device been on my arm?'

Samej held up his boney fingers and started counting, falling silent for a time as he did so, Phil watched on in bewilderment. Had the crew really appointed this man as the doctor for the ship? Come to think of it, where were the rest of the crew?

'Five hours, forty-two minutes and eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty...'

'Okay, okay!' Phil interrupted. 'I've got it. Now where is the rest of the crew?'

Samej tapped a finger against his lip as if in deep thought. 'I think they might be in the cockpit doing things.'

Phil stared about him, the sick bay was much how he remembered it from his first adventure, except that there was another body laying across from him.

Another body.

'Who is that?' he asked, trying to discern if it was living or not.

'I don't know. They just put him in here and asked me to fix him. So I did, but it wasn't easy.'

'Is there anything you can tell me at all?'

Samej's expression lit up. 'Oh yes, I can tell you about the various cavities in your body and the ligaments and the endorphins and...'

Phil held up a hand weakly and cut him off. 'I meant about the ship, the crew, what we're doing here, what's going on.'

'Er... no.'

He rose slowly, feeling his head beginning to spin as he did so, then a surprisingly firm hand from Doctor Samej eased him back into the bed.

'You will most likely pass out if you persist in trying to raise your body to a ninety degree angle, if that's what you want then great. I'll just watch next time and make sure that your falling back down doesn't give you a concussion.'

He suspected that coming from another person that would have been sarcasm, but Samej seemed completely sincere in his concerns.

'I think you're right.' Phil managed from the bed. 'If you could get one of the crew to come down here and explain things to me that would be nice.'

'But I'm a member of the crew!' the doctor stated, tears welling up in his eyes.

'Er... yes, you are. Can you tell me anything about things that are happening though?'

'I don't know!' Samej wailed, slopping the bucket on the floor as he whirled his arms around in despair.

Phil lay there in quiet contemplation, not entirely sure what to say to the man next.

'Okay then.' the doctor sniffed, 'I'll get one of the other members of the crew down here.'

'I'm sorry for upsetting you.'

Samej gave him a strange look then, his eyes filling with something Phil couldn't describe. 'do you really mean that?'

'Of course, I don't want any of my crew to be upset because of me. Even those that threaten to tip sea water over my head.'

'Oh thank you!' Samej wailed, dropping the bucket and proceeding to smother Phil with a tight hug.

Ordinarily Phil would have jumped a mile, but his semi-sedated partially-conscious state meant that he was in no condition to flee anything. He accepted the hug with all the grace of a bean bag and hoped that the spindly man's arms weren't doing his own wound any damage.

Eventually Samej relinquished the hug, long after it had passed the point of social propriety and into awkwardness. 'I'll get one of the crew down here right away!' he chirped, sprinting off out of the sickbay and what Phil hoped was in the direction of the cockpit to acquire someone with a degree of sanity.

He tilted his head to stare at the body occupying the other bed of the sick bay. It was covered in a thin white blanket of sorts that seemed semi-transparent and left very little to the imagination. The man was not clothed and Phil couldn't make out his face but unless he was mistaken the blanket seemed to rise and fall to the pattern of breathing.

A beeping noise came from his device and the world went fuzzy, a ringing sound entered his ears and Phil idly pondered why such a thing would happen but came up with no answers through the fog that had invaded his head.

'Phil? Is that you? Where are we?'

He opened his eyes to the familiar voice and blinked several times, then realised the direction the question had come from and that it had indeed been aimed at him.

'Terry?'

'Yeah Phil, it's me. Have I been abducted again? I can't seem to move.'

'Relax Terry, we're in safe hands. I have no idea what you're doing here though.'

'Care to explain what's going on, Phil?'

He proceeded to detail his trainer about the extraordinary adventures he had been subjected to in his time with the crew, Terry interrupted him frequently, his tone changing from incredulous to amazed with each story that Phil told him.

'So then RJ reeled in the grappling line and here I am.' he finished, sagging back down into the bed and welcoming its comforting embracing.

Terry let out a long breath. 'I'll be honest, that's a whole lot of mind-blowing information to take in at once. I knew I wasn't crazy though when I said I had been abducted. I knew it! Does this not confirm that what I was saying was true?'

'I already knew you weren't crazy, Terry.' Phil admitted. 'I couldn't tell you about any of this in case they went after you, fat lot of good that did.'

'Well, I'm here now, and at least I know that these Star Command folk seem to have it in for me. Can't say I'm feeling my usual self though, not that I have any idea how I got like this.'

'So you have no recollection at all of how you ended up in our sick bay?'

'None.' Terry said. 'This is the first time I've been conscious, sounds like they've been keeping me here for a while.'

'At least six hours, if our doctor is to be believed. I'll find out what's going on soon enough, assuming RJ was right and I'm still the Captain.'

The pattering of feet and the opening of the sick bay doors reintroduced Doctor Samej, whose arms waved as if they had a life of their own as he spoke. 'Captain Jones, I have made you better. You can now go and command and things. Don't be a stranger though! Also, don't play any tennis.'

'Tennis?'

'Yes!' Samej shouted, his voice scaling up a pitch. 'If you were to play any tennis then your heart rate would elevate too much and you might pass out because while you are fit to command you're not fit enough to go straight sets with anyone.'

'Er... I'll keep that in mind.' Phil replied, peering over Samej's shoulder as Annika arrived. She was a sight for sore eyes, especially after the torturous day Phil had been put through.

'Lieutenant Annika.' he called to her, doing anything to get this unnerving doctor off his case. 'I've been cleared for duty, care to tell me what's going on?'

A puzzled look, well, more puzzled than usual, etched itself upon the unfortunately clown-like features of Doctor Samej. 'My name is Samej, why are you calling me...'

'We're ready to debrief you sir, it's good to have you back.' Annika cut in, causing Samej to let out a wail and leap in the general direction the ceiling. Annika raised a quizzical eyebrow as the man gradually became reacquainted with gravity and stilled his pounding heart with his own plastic stethoscope.

'Please don't sneak up on me like that!' the doctor opined, but his protestations were largely ignored.

'If you'd like to come with me Captain, we'll get you up to speed soon enough.'

Phil said a quick farewell to Terry and the doctor before following Annika out of the room. In all honesty he was happy to get away from the sick bay, there was something about the doc's manner that unnerved him.

'I see you've met our new doctor.' Annika stated with a smile. 'What do you make of his bedside manner?'

'He's very... er...' Phil struggled for words, and for once it wasn't Annika that was causing it.

She laughed outright then, a musical sound that made Phil's heart want to jump out his chest and sing. He had forgotten the effect she could have upon him, and now was not the best time to be reminded.

'Yes, he is quite the eccentric. Apparently he had been on the ship the whole time and we had just never noticed him. Have you seen his party trick yet?'

'The turning sideways thing? Yeah, he showed me that. Can't say it's one that I'd be able to pull off.'

This brought another laugh from Annika. 'Our bold and heroic Captain has no need to hide.'

Phil didn't feel very bold or heroic, he had hoped to have more time to be ready for this latest adventure before it hit, apparently Star Command had other plans. Speaking of which...

'So what happened with Star Command? Why are they after us now? I was under the impression that we were part of Star Command.'

Annika nodded. 'We were, but the full details will be better explained by the rest of the crew than me alone.'

He was beginning to think that they were in very big trouble indeed, and that this small ship probably wasn't the safest of places to be. Then again, he had just been shot by an assassin disguised as a cleaner and jumped out of the window of his own apartment. The ship was probably a little bit safer, yes.

Due to it being a small ship, Phil found the familiar sight of the cockpit in front of him in no time at all. The doors slid open and the crew were all there, RJ and Trigger on the con and helm and Smith in what he hoped was temporary command.

The chair swivelled round and Smith's permanent scowl greeted him. 'Welcome back, Mr. Jones.'

There was a moment of undeniable tension in the small space as Smith and Phil stared at each other. 'Thank you.' Phil finally said, waiting to see what would happen next.

Smith rose from the seat with deliberate slowness and made his way over to the tactical station without further word.

'The chair is yours, Captain.' Annika prompted, and Phil gladly settled himself in, swivelling back round to view the blue and purple corridor they were travelling through.

'So would anyone care to tell me... er... what's going on?' he tentatively asked, feeling completely out of the loop in spite of his resumed position of command.

The viewscreen lit up with what Phil assumed was a briefing, considering that it had the title 'briefing' in it. The deep drawl of Agent Smith accompanied it, spoiling the effect somewhat.

'After your ejection from the Captain's chair it was Captain Darwin who insisted upon taking command of the vessel until his own could be towed and repaired.' he stated, and the view screen showed a silent video of Darwin heckling the crew over some perceived fault. 'As you can imagine this change of command was met with disapproval from all aboard, and a series of near-catastrophic failures ensued under his leadership.' the way he said the final word gave no doubt as to what Smith thought of Darwin's ability to lead anything short of his own two feet.

The viewscreen provided Phil with a series of images that featured the crew sprinting away from angry-looking mobs of varying hue, their fearful expressions at odds with the confident grin plastered over Darwin's face. Smith continued speaking. 'Mission after mission, failure after failure and a leader who was oblivious to personal criticism in any way. It was soon after that the crew realised there needed to be a change of command. Lieutenant Annika was insistent on petitioning Grand Admiral Burroughs but she was turned down and Darwin was made aware of the claims.'

Phil stared over at Annika, who certainly looked like she wasn't appreciating having to re-live that particular memory.

'Upon realising that he had lost the confidence of the crew, Captain Darwin's false confidence began to show cracks. He became increasingly demanding in the lead up to the negotiations with the Voravians and sadly there was nothing we could do short of mutiny that would prevent him from making an ass of himself.'

'So you actually mutinied and got rid of the Captain?' Phil asked, finding it hard to believe that Smith was capable of such a thing.