PHENOMENAL GIRL 5 (20 page)

“Who the hell is that?” Wesley asked as she threw herself into the arms of a prominent businessman, wailing about the tragic loss.

“Victoria Dupree,” I bit off, trying to force myself to calm down.

“
That’s
Victoria Dupree?” He looked her over as if she were a specimen.

“You remember
her
?” Now I wanted to punch
him
.

He shook his head. “I read about her.”

“Oh.” If he had remembered her and not me…

“My God, I had exceedingly bad taste,” he said, eying her with some displeasure.

I flinched. Okay, so ha-ha to Victoria, but he had just insulted me in the process. Only, he didn’t realize he had. “I knew it,” I said, glaring at her antics as she wailed about how she and Robert were supposed to have been going to a concert. He had actually made that date!

“Knew what?” Wesley asked.

“I knew she and Robert had a thing once, but he would never admit to it.”

“Well, it was some years ago.”

“She wanted to rekindle it.”

“Trust me when I say that’s never going to happen.”

I had to smile at that.

“There it is,” he said, almost under his breath.

“What?”

“It’s the first time I’ve seen you smile. I’ve been wondering if I’d ever get a glimpse of the person I’ve been reading about.”

I didn’t know what to say. I just held his steady blue gaze, conflicting emotions draining me.

And then the celebrities arrived.

People started murmuring and we turned to see Doctor Rath, the Magnificent, White Heat, Aphrodite, and another high-ranking member, Sensei, walk in, all in impeccable dark clothing. Tekgrrl, another young member, trailed along beside Sensei, her wild magenta-streaked hair looking out of place with her sedate black clothing. Inferno was absent.

Doctor Rath eyed me as he walked up. “Red?”

“It’s burgundy.”

“For a funeral?”

“It’s fitting for Ro…M-mister Elliot,” I stuttered. Wesley shot me a strange look at the use of the less-personal name.

Doctor Rath turned his attention to Wesley. “So you’re the new one.”

“Wesley Charles.” He looked at me to supply the name.

“Doctor Rath,” I obliged him.

“Oh. You’re him.” Wesley seemed to brighten and shook his hand. “Good to see you, Ben.”

I eyed Wesley. He didn’t remember him on sight, so must have read something about Doctor Rath. I knew they had been good friends.

“Are you acclimating well?” Doctor Rath’s tone was a bit less formal.

“As well as can be expected. The gaps in my memory seem to be a little worse this time, probably because I used up a lot of magic.”

“I died,” I supplied. “Robert brought me back.”

“I know.” Doctor Rath studied me with interest. “I heard about what happened with Jihad. I am sorry for what happened to you, Miss Livingston. You will be compensated, of course.”

“Thanks.”
So if you die, you get a bonus?

“We will have to discuss everything that happened. A necessary formality, you understand. After you both get back on your feet, of course.”

“What ever we can do to help,” Wesley said. “But I’m afraid I don’t remember much.”

“That’s fine.” Doctor Rath clapped a hand on his shoulder. “We would like to welcome you back into the Elite Hands of Justice. Robert wasn’t interested for many reasons, but enough time has passed and we thought you might feel otherwise.”

“I’m not quite sure how I feel just yet. But I will keep the option in mind.”

Rath introduced him to the others, giving me a momentary break. They were all friendly to Wesley, but reserved. And they all looked on me with interest.

“Hey, sweetie,” I heard before turning to see Selena walk up. “How are you holding up?”

I hugged her tight. “I’m so glad you came. When did you get back?”

“Yesterday. Heard what happened and the other Fives wanted to make an appearance.” She nodded to four equally gorgeous women of various ethnic backgrounds mingling with the other mourners. “And I figured you could use a friend.”

“Thank you so much.” I led her away from the crowd so we could speak in private.

“So, do you want to tell me what happened? I only heard he was killed in combat.”

I filled Selena in on the battle details, including my death and resurrection.

“Wow, Lainey. He sacrificed himself for you. He really loved you.”

“I know.”

“And the tragedy is you never made a move.”

I looked down at the ground. “Well…”

“Oh, my God, Lainey! I knew you had it in you!”

“Well, it doesn’t matter now because not only does he not remember me, he doesn’t even like me.”

As if on cue, Wesley walked up and cleared his throat. “Excuse me, Lainey.”

“What?” I snapped, already exhausted.

“We’re going to be starting the service soon.”

“Fine.” I saw Selena staring at me out of the corner of my eye.

“Would you like to say anything during?”

“No, I can’t.” I could barely even look at him, let alone get up in front of a bunch of people and talk.

“I think I’ll just stand in the back,” he said. “It is a little strange to be there, but I feel like I should be. You’re welcome to stand with me, if you like.”

“Thanks,” I said, not really wanting to, but not wanting to sit in the front with everyone else in the EHJ.

Selena cleared her throat and nudged me. I realized what she wanted.

“Oh, Selena, this is Wesley Charles. He’s the Reincarnist. Wesley, this is my best friend Selena Curtis, also known as Granite. We went to the School together and were in the Red Knights.”

Selena shook his hand. “Nice to finally meet you.”

“Ah, someone I haven’t met and forgotten. What a welcome relief.” He gave her a smile and then looked at me. “Well, I’ll just be in the back.” He motioned to the ballroom that had been converted for the day.

Selena nodded. “We’ll be there in a minute.” She waited until he left and then spoke softly. “He’s good-looking.”

“Yeah, he is.”

“A lot younger.”

“Uh-huh.”

“That why you don’t like him?” As my head snapped up to meet her eyes, she continued. “He was nice. To you. He doesn’t have a problem with you; you have a problem with him.”

“You didn’t hear him after he came back. He acted downright disgusted by me.”

“And you were downright rude to him just now. You’re never like that.”

“This is really difficult for me, Selena.”

“I know, but it can’t be a cakewalk for him, either. He flinched just now when you snapped at him. What you two had might not be dead completely if you snap out of it.” Leaving those thoughts for me to mull, she got to her feet and pulled me along. “Let’s go, hon.”

I only half-listened to the service. Aphrodite, the Magnificent, and Sensei all said some nice things, as well as the police commissioner and a few other town officials. But then Victoria got up and started wailing. I heard people murmuring in sympathy and it turned my stomach. She shouldn’t be the one acting like the distraught girlfriend, it should have been me! Selena squeezed my hand, either for comfort or to warn me not to go up there and kick her ass.

I had reached my limit. I turned away and Wesley looked over.

“She is a bit much, isn’t she?” he said.

Selena caught the look on my face. “Lainey?”

“I need some air,” I whispered, feeling tears burn in my eyes.

“You alright?” Wesley asked.

“I just need a moment.” I turned and fled.

I made it outside to the garden before I started sobbing. Wrapping my arms around myself, barely even noticing the cold, I staggered along the walkway by the house, heading toward the garden, wanting to put enough space between me and everyone else to be alone with my grief. I slumped down on one of the benches in the garden and cried until I felt sick, never having felt as alone as I did at that moment. I had never known my parents; they had been absent all my life and I had gotten used to it, so their loss hadn’t affected me like Robert’s. But I had known a moment of being loved, of belonging to someone, and it hurt twice as much now that it was gone. The pain reminded me why I had closed
myself off from everyone for all of those years. And why I needed to do so again.

I heard footsteps behind me and glanced back. “What are you doing out here?”

“I just wanted to check on you,” Wesley said, holding his hands up as if to ward off blows.

I glared at him and wiped my eyes. “Just leave me alone. Jesus Christ, you’re the last person I want to see right now.”

He reacted as if I’d hit him. “Why are you being so hostile?”

“Maybe it’s because you replaced…my best friend,” I finished, dropping my eyes down to my lap.
Best friend
was still accurate.

He sighed. “Lainey…”

“You took everything about him away. You said it yourself, you’re just his replacement. But you’ll never be him again.”

“Look, I know I said that, but it’s not the entire truth. I’m still as much him as I am anyone else. What is essentially me has stayed the same since the dawn of time. The characteristics that made me the poet William Graves and Robert Elliot are still in me. I am still lacking in tact, I still think political shenanigans are a waste of time, and though I will always support Ben, I still think the EHJ has become nothing but a group of celebrities. Some aspects of my life I remember, most I’ve read, and some I just
know
, in the fiber of my soul. Like I know it’s hurtful when you either avoid or spew venom at me. You’re sad you can’t see your best friend anymore in me and I act a bit different. I understand that. But I also know this is not how it’s supposed to be between us. You’re not supposed to hate me.”

The retort died on my lips as I looked up and noticed the way he was standing, with his hands behind his back, like I had seen Robert do countless times before, a gesture, I realized in hindsight, that had been his way of keeping himself from reaching out and touching me.

I stared at Wesley, realization hitting me like a slap in the face.

Just keep in mind who you’re hurting, Lainey
.
Remember exactly who it is that you are treating so coldly.

I had given myself license to be nasty to Wesley, forcing a wedge between us because he took away Robert. I had wanted to hurt him the way his very presence hurt me.

Lainey, try to remember, if things get bad, that the man who loves you is still inside that new person. I will still be there, somewhere
.

“Oh, my God,” I whispered, my entire being cold with shock.

I was hurting Robert. I understood that now. I hadn’t truly comprehended his power until I witnessed it. Yes, Wesley in so many ways was completely different, but there were still some things about him that were the same, if I took the time to notice. And though he didn’t remember a thing about me, deep inside, the part of him that was still Robert cringed every time I acted out; only Wesley didn’t understand why it hurt.

“I’m sorry,” I said, barely able to look at him in my shame. “I’m
so
sorry.” I said to both him and the man he used to be.

I stood up and wrapped my arms around him in a stiff hug. It was awkward between us, not like it once was when I would have melted into his arms. He felt physically different, a different height and body type, but at the same time familiar. Like coming home and finding the walls painted a different color and the furniture rearranged.

He released me with a light squeeze. “It’s not the first time I’ve had a friend or loved one not be able to deal with the new me, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I know I was difficult to be around there for a bit, and again, I apologize. And I’m sorry I won’t ever be exactly the same person again. But we’ll always share a bond, and we’ll just have to find a way to deal with it and move on.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The piece of my soul you carry.”

I stared at him in shock. “What?”

“You mean Robert never told you?” Now it was Wesley’s turn to look shocked. “He even wrote that bit down; I don’t know why he didn’t tell you. When he did the spell to heal your soul after you were attacked, he gave you part of his. That’s why you have a bit of magic now. Because I have magic.”

I couldn’t believe it. Why hadn’t Robert told me? I rested a hand against my heart, trying to sense it there: that part of me that used to be part of him.

Wesley patted my arm. “Take comfort in that, Lainey. There’s a part of Robert that will always belong to you.”

“A part of you, you mean,” I said.

He gave a brief nod.

“I know you don’t remember a lot about your previous life.”

“Bits of it.”

“And I understand that you’re not one hundred percent Robert. But do you think whenever you refer to something that happened, you could phrase it like you did it? You know, like saying, ‘When I did the spell to heal your soul,’ instead of ‘When he did the spell.’ It might help me to remember that a part of my friend still exists in you.”

He nodded. “Sure.”

“Maybe we can be friends again.” I thought we could. I might not have the same feelings for Wesley that I did for Robert, but friendship wasn’t out of the question.

“I think I’m a likable guy.” He flashed me a bright smile.

I returned the gesture, if only slightly.

He looked encouraged. “And I’d really like to meet the woman I’ve read about. She seems like a really interesting person.”

“Maybe I could introduce you tomorrow,” I said. “Today’s been kind of rough.”

“This whole week’s been a painful blur,” he agreed. “Let’s
just forget about it and start over tomorrow. Maybe we could test my magic. And yours.”

“That sounds like a plan,” I said. It wouldn’t sound like a date. Not again.

Wesley was not at breakfast when I came down the next morning. Figured. When I decided to stop avoiding him, he disappeared.

“He is downstairs,” Mayhew said, coming up behind me with a plate of waffles. “He wanted to get some work done. He said you should have breakfast and meet him after.”

I eyed the waffles and decided I was hungry.