Pewter Angels (44 page)

He glanced again at the painting. He had to get those papers for Elaine.
There they are again
. He was sure the angels had streaked across the brush-stroked sky. And the way they’d perched on the clouds earlier with that awful look of condemnation still sent shivers down his back. He should have taken the letters down to the incinerator right then.

Ted shook his head. The visions of those angels were more torment than the dreams that accompanied his restless sleep at night. He needed another drink in the worst way.

And so he sought the aid of his only friend—at the liquor cabinet Ted reached once again for his confidant and consoler. He poured himself a good stiff drink, and tossed one and then another back, until he could no longer remember why he’d needed a drink in the first place.

But just before he crossed into the safe haven of delusion, Ted felt a flutter inside, the gift his Maker had instilled in all of mankind. Sinful deeds can never remain secret, held captive in the darkness of the heart. In the same way the body works to heal a wound, Ted’s soul desired to heal the unclean wounds of his sins. It was this ever-present cry and yearning for forgiveness, which only the truth of light can bring, that Ted could neither suppress nor drown, even if he drank a river of vodka.

Perhaps tomorrow his friend would betray him and he would find himself on the harsh loneliness of the valley floor, wrapped in a fog of iniquity and delirium. Or perhaps the wings of the angels would lift him up into the light and lead him to the peace his troubled mind and heart so deeply longed for.

Or perhaps, someday, the pewter angels would once more rekindle the sparkle of life in his daughter’s eyes.

T
he mild autumn weather
continued right into the first week of November. Henry was glad he was still able to ride his bike to work on Saturday and use it to make deliveries rather than waddle around all bundled up as he had in previous years.

As soon as he parked his bike in the usual spot, he noticed something that instantly shot his spirits up like a rocket. He quickly ran up the front steps, opened the front door to the store and stuck his head inside.

“Mr. Engelmann,” he said excitedly, “Come quick, you gotta see this!”

Mr. Engelmann rushed to the door and came outside. Henry was on the front lawn staring at the lot next door, face beaming as if struck by the sun.

“Yes, yes, what is it, Henry?”

“See for yourself,” Henry said, pointing to the west side of the store.

A tentative smile grew stronger on Mr. Engelmann’s face as he made his way down the steps, anticipating what it was Henry was so pleased about. He came to Henry’s side and put his arm around his young assistant’s shoulder.

“It was just over a year ago that I saw them put up a for sale sign on that lot. It’s finally gone, Mr. Engelmann! Man, is it good to just see weeds there! That sign bothered me every time I came to work.”

“The city must have removed it in the last day or so. This is a surprise to me as well.” Mr. Engelmann’s grip on Henry tightened. “Yes, it makes my heart happy to see this … Henry, you have been such a huge help to Anna and me. As young as you are, you were the answer to our prayers. You still are. Without you we could very well be looking at a closed store and a for sale sign on the storefront instead.”

Henry glanced away, then looked Mr. Engelmann in the eye. “I love working here, Mr. Engelmann, and helping the business get better. Christmas holidays can’t come soon enough for me so I can work full time again.”

Mr. Engelmann laughed outright and clapped Henry on the shoulder. “You are an entrepreneur at heart, Henry, and a very talented one at that! Come, let us celebrate, I know how much you like hot chocolate.”

A horn honked and a blue 1949 Ford sedan rolled to a stop at the curb. Mr. Mahoney got out and put on his black Stetson. He came around to greet them. For once he had a smile on his face.

“I see you’ve noticed the sign was taken down. I was in the neighbourhood and wanted to tell you it had been removed in case you hadn’t noticed yet.”

“That is kind of you, Mr. Mahoney. Henry brought it to my attention when he arrived at work this morning.”

“You can thank the director. Yesterday morning he called me into his office and instructed me to get rid of the sign. He didn’t think you needed to be reminded of that anymore and besides he, and I too, of course, have full confidence in your store’s future. It’s quite incredible what you’ve achieved in such a short time.”

Mr. Mahoney looked at Henry and then at the old store owner. “I’ve got to admit, this young man of yours has turned out to be quite the employee.”

“Yes, we were just discussing it. He has truly been a blessing to us.”

Henry’s face reddened a bit and grew even redder as both men stared at him. Not knowing what to say, Henry just nodded.

“It is good of you to have the sign taken down, though we still have two more payments to make. I’m happy no one was interested enough to purchase the property.”

“Well, we did receive several offers, but I told the potential buyers it was already sold—which, of course, was true.” Mr. Mahoney winked at Mr. Engelmann. “Like I said, the director and I—”

With a start, Henry realized he probably shouldn’t be listening to this business talk and excused himself. “I’ll restock the shelves and get the hot water started, Mr. Engelmann.”

“That’s a good idea, Henry. I’ll be along in a moment.”

“See ya, Mr. Mahoney,” Henry said as he turned to go.

“You’ve done a fine job for Mr. Engelmann, young man. You should be very proud of yourself. If you’re looking for a job after Grade 12, you be sure to come see me.”

Henry nodded and went into the store.

Henry had two steaming cups
of hot chocolate on the counter when Mr. Engelmann came back inside.

“Ah, the air is crisp in the morning. This will drive the chill out of my bones,” Mr. Engelmann said as he picked up the hot chocolate, blew on it and took a careful sip.

Henry put down the can he was about to set on the shelf and came to the counter. He picked up his mug of chocolate and tipped it towards the one in Mr. Engelmann’s hand, a wide smile lighting his face.

Mr. Engelmann grinned in response. “Yes, here’s to our success, Henry! And Anna will be so happy to hear the news.”

“How is Mrs. Engelmann today?”

“Well,” Mr. Engelmann’s smile faded a bit. “She is not doing as well as I’d like. The doctor wants to admit her into the hospital, but I always tell him no. Anna loves it here at home and especially enjoys sitting by the window in the afternoon and reading the Bible. She enjoys watching the comings and goings, and the visits from the people in the neighbourhood.”

“Yeah, she sure knows a lot of ladies.”

“Yes, in spite of her illness, she still continues to help many people. And that reminds me. She does ask about you all the time and the thought came to me this morning when I was praying that you may want to visit her as well.”

“I would like that, Mr. Engelmann. When she’s in the store it makes the whole place seem different somehow … she brings something to the store that’s kind of hard to explain—and I like talking to her.”

“I’ve heard that many times before, Henry. She brings charm and grace and makes the store a home to our customers. She communicates from the heart.”

“Yes, that’s it, Mr. Engelmann! I feel such a peace in her presence, and so did Gary.” And after a bit of thought Henry blurted, “If I go upstairs to talk with Mrs. Engelmann, it would mean I would be away from working in the store. Is that okay with you?”

“It’s fine with me, Henry. I know she will receive so much joy from your presence … that is something that money cannot buy.”

That last comment pierced Henry’s heart. Mr. Engelmann had it the wrong way around.

Suddenly the door burst open and Eddy rushed in. “How ya doing, Hank? Hey, Mr. Engelmann. Geez, I ran out of smokes last night! The drugstore’s still closed so I decided to see if you were open—I need a weed like right now.”

Henry smiled and held back a chuckle at Eddy’s brashness.

“You sure you need to smoke?” Mr. Engelmann gazed hard into Eddy’s eyes.

Eddy stepped up to the counter and laid down a dollar and stared back at Mr. Engelmann with a questioning look. “Well…”

“Well, what?”

“Did you forget my brand already?”

Mr. Engelmann cracked a slight smile, turned around and took a pack of Black Cat off the shelf and laid it on the counter.

“Very good, Mr. Engelmann.”

Eddy removed the cellophane, opened the packet and had pulled off the aluminum foil even before Mr. Engelmann rang in the purchase. Smoke was trailing on the counter as Eddy picked up his change.

“Hey, Hank, there’s a rerun of the Harlem Globetrotters movie at the Roxy on Friday, wanna go?”

“Yeah, sure, maybe you’ll finally pick something up about the game,” ribbed Henry.

“Not a chance, Hank, you taught me more than I’ll never learn from those amateurs.”

“Should I come to your place and we’ll take the trolley?”

“Nah, my ol’ man’ll take us.”

“Eddy, that’s not the way to refer to your father.”

Eddy looked at Mr. Engelmann, “Yeah, you’re right … so, okay, Hank, me and pop will pick you up. Thanks for the weeds, Mr. Engelmann. See ya, Hank.”

“Yeah, see you, Eddy.”

Mr. Engelmann waved his hand, trying to dissipate the smoke Eddy left behind. “That’s some young man,” Mr. Engelmann said, shaking his head.

“Yeah, he’s that all right. You know, as bad a thing Eddy and his friends did, there’s a part of Eddy that’s appealing.”

“Yes, Henry, there is good in all of us. Unfortunately there is a tendency to focus on the bad. Still, it seems you have become friends.”

“Yeah, but I still can’t seem to forget what he did. Just when I think I’ve forgiven him, angry feelings begin to stir in the pit of my stomach.”

“What did the Lord say? We must forgive seventy times seven. Forgiveness starts in the head and eventually it gets to the heart. It’s the journey we must take each time someone harms us.”

“I know, Mr. Engelmann. I’ve forgiven Eddy from my head … but if I had really forgiven him I wouldn’t still be harbouring this anger every now and then. Now that I think of it … it’s sort of like the sun is shining while at the same time a silent storm is brewing just beyond the horizon.”

Mr. Engelmann smiled at Henry’s analogy. “We’ve been through this before, Henry, but it doesn’t hurt to go over it again. Unforgiveness is one of the main obstacles to peace of mind. It’s the culprit that steals from the enjoyment of our present moments time and time again. I’ve been guilty of playing the tape over in my mind in the past too.

“What you’re feeling, Henry, is that part of you that doesn’t want to let go. That part of you that wants to get even, wants to pay back for the hurt the other has caused. Most of its pride, Henry … like ‘I’m going to make you pay for what you’ve done to me.’”

Henry nodded and remained silent. He knew Mr. Engelmann would reinforce what he’d just said and he was right.

“You’re still trapped in the bondage of unforgiveness. Even if Eddy were to say he was sorry, you would still not be free of what you’re feeling until you forgive from the heart and let go. The joy and freedom that comes with forgiveness can come in a split second or it can be painfully long. Some people will hold onto hurts all their lives, not even able to remember what the initial injury was on their dying day! No. You have to choose constantly, Henry, seventy times seven. Even though the other caused the injury, it’s up to you to forgive and love them … and do so quickly.”

Henry stared hard at his mentor, taking it all in again—and then Mr. Engelmann said something that was a warning, something he realized he had better listen to.

“Remember what Jesus said after He was scourged and nailed to the cross: ‘Forgive them, Father.’ Imagine! He loved us even in our sins, our rejection of Him, and our cruelty to Him. We are called to forgive too, Henry, and unless you do so, Jesus cannot forgive you … how can He come into your heart if a spirit of anger, resentment and revenge resides there? Oh, how He wants to forgive you of your sin, but it is you that keeps Him out!”

“Geez, Mr. Engelmann, you sure know how to plaster a guy to the wall!”

After a silent moment, Henry continued in a subdued voice that carried wisdom, insight and sorrow. “You know, Mr. Engelmann, I feel that same undercurrent of not letting go exists in our family. I think Mom is stuck like I am. On the surface it looks like Mom has forgiven Dad for what he did, but I know she really hasn’t …. Will they ever love each again like before … well, you know.”

Mr. Engelmann reached across the counter and patted Henry’s hand. “Pray, Henry, and trust in the Lord. That is the best thing you can do. Forgiveness must come freely from the person harmed. Just as you have difficulty forgiving Eddy, your mother may still have difficulty forgiving your father.

“Prayer is what is needed now. Pray that we receive the grace and strength from God to do what is best for all. As I said earlier, Henry, you will find as you go through life—as I’m sure others will too—the biggest and most important hurdle you must overcome is the spirit of unforgiveness.”

Mr. Engelmann paused for a moment and Henry was willing to wager that his teacher was trying to recall a scripture that would apply to the matter at hand. He would have won the bet.

“There is a passage I often quote to remind myself of the power of prayer … yes, Mark 11:24: “What things so ever you desire when you pray, believe that you receive them and you shall have them.”

“Geez, Mr. Engelmann, that’s the same one my mom asked me to read a few weeks ago when we started a novena for Jenny to write a letter to me. Mom said she quoted that scriptural passage every day when she prayed for Dad to come back.”

“And what were the results? She believed with all her heart and trusted and had faith in her Lord that He would help her.

She has given you that same gift to use in your life … the power of prayer, the power of God’s Word.”

Henry gazed at his wise mentor and tears came to his eyes. He wanted so much for his parents to make up and for them to be a family again. He could clearly see what Mr. Engelmann meant about how unforgiveness could hold one in bondage, hold a family in bondage.

But there’s nothing I can do. It has to come from them.

Yeah, prayer and trusting in its power to heal was all that could really help, and he knew deep in his heart that his prayers to God for Jenny and him would someday be answered too.

A soothing quietness settled over the store and Henry was glad. He enjoyed these moments with his mentor. Henry took a sip of hot chocolate and then asked Mr. Engelmann something that had been burning in his heart for some time.