Perfectly Unpredictable (15 page)

Mack stirred the Bolognese sauce. He didn’t
have a huge repertoire of meals he cooked, but he had lived on his own long enough
to learn a few basics. Plus he appreciated the quiet of home.

Spaghetti with Bolognese sauce, fresh
crusty bread, and pear slices with Frangelico liqueur for dessert was an
entertaining staple. He had red wine open and breathing on the table. He didn’t
have any fancy placemats or table linens, but he found three candles for the center
of the table. He threw a soft blanket on the floor with some toys for Mani and
hoped he and Kalia would have a chance to talk.

The doorbell rang as he strained the
spaghetti. He set it down and went to answer the door.

Kalia, in loose silk pants with a fitted aquamarine
T-shirt, held Mani in her arms. Mani was barefoot. Mani poked at Kalia’s
dangling silver earrings but stretched out his arms to Mack when the door
opened.

“Hi, come in,” Mack said, and he leaned in
to kiss Kalia’s cheek. He held out his arms for Mani. “Hello, big guy. How ya
doing today?”

Mani babbled and gurgled and snuggled into
Mack’s shoulder. Mack’s heart melted.

Mack led the way into the kitchen and
tossed Mani into the air to squeals of laughter. As he cuddled Mani, he turned
to Kalia. “Would you like some wine?” He pointed to the open bottle.

“Yes, thank you. I can pour it. Would you
like some, too?”

“Sure. That’d be great. Dinner’s almost
ready. Are you hungry?”

“I am. My schedule has shifted with
Mani’s.”

Mack set Mani down on the blanket with
toys. He served up the meal, and they sat down to eat.

“Thanks for inviting me over, Mack,” Kalia
said quietly.

“I’m glad you came, Kalia.”

Kalia nodded. After her first taste, she
looked at Mack with a smile. “This is delicious. Do you follow a recipe or do
you just throw it together?”

“The ingredients don’t change much, but I
can’t say I follow a recipe.”

“My brother cooks the same way. He likes to
be spontaneous and has a knack for it. What he puts together generally turns
out really well.” Kalia laughed. “I could never do that. I need a recipe. Measuring
spoons, a scale – it’s more of an exact science when I cook.”

As they ate, Mani played happily on the
floor beside them. They finished dessert and Kalia started to clear the plates.

“Just leave them, Kalia. I want you to hear
something. Let’s go into the living room.” He scooped up Mack and, swinging him
in the air, carried him to the next room. Kalia picked up some of Mani’s toys
and followed.

Mack had baby-proofed the living room. He
had lifted anything with buttons or dials out of Mani’s reach. The coffee table
had been replaced by a large, round, leather ottoman.

Kalia walked in and looked around. “Oh,
this is great. Now Mani can’t get into anything.”

Mack nodded. “Hopefully you’ll be around
more often.” He paused. “Kalia, I really am sorry about last week. I owe you an
explanation.”

“Mack, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I’d like you to listen to
this.” He picked up his guitar and started to sing. The melody that Kalia had
heard through the week played and she focused on the lyrics.

It’s
your body, your baby, your choice to make

But
it’s my heart, my voice, my DNA.

I
want to be there, each moment. I won’t walk away.

Cause
it’s my heart, my voice, my DNA.

I
want the chance to be a dad

To
teach the things I would have had

To

kick
a ball

swing
a bat

ride
a bike

learn
to swim

To

Tie a
shoe

Tie a
tie

Chase
a dream

Fly a
kite

So
many things the world could be

If
you would give the chance to me.

It’s
my heart, my voice and my DNA

But
it’s your body, your baby, your choice to make.

It’s
my heart, my voice and my DNA

It’s
your body, but our baby, our choice to make.

Kalia brushed a tear away as the music
stopped.

“Two years ago, I met a woman,” Mack said
as he set his guitar in a stand. “I thought I loved her, and I thought she
loved me. We were engaged to be married. The band was taking off, and we were
planning our big North American tour.

“Two or three weeks before we were supposed
to leave, Angie started to get sick. She was throwing up every day, was pale and
losing weight. She promised me she would see a doctor. And then, a week later,
she was fine. She told me she had been pregnant with my baby, but that she had
taken care of it. That she’d had an abortion. That was it. Like it was just
another day. She told me she wanted to come on the tour with us, and she
couldn’t if she had morning sickness.” Mack brushed a hand down his face. “Coming
on tour was more important to her than our baby. I didn’t have a say. We had
talked about having kids, and she knew it was important to me. Which is why she
did it without telling me.” Mack looked down at his hands clasped in his lap. “I
don’t know if she was in love with me. She was certainly in love with fame. But
likely not with me.” Mack looked at Kalia. “I’m so sorry, Kalia. I thought I
had dealt with that. It happened a year ago, but obviously our conversation
struck a nerve. I should have stayed and talked.” He reached to hold her hand.

“I think what you’re doing with Mani is
amazing. You should be proud. You’re strong and selfless, and he’s a great
kid.” Mack paused. “I love you, Kalia. It snuck up on me,” he said wryly. “I
was happy with my life. I had my music and the band. Things are coming together,
and I’m where I want to be. But when you’re around, everything is brighter and
that much better. I’ve never felt this way, even with Angie. I’m happier and
music doesn’t seem to be enough. I don’t want to live without you in my life.”
He glanced at Mani. “I love Mani, too. He’s a great kid, and I want to be there
for him. For both of you. If you’ll let me, I’d like to be a part of the family
you’ve built.”

“Oh, Mack,” Kalia said with tears running
down her cheeks.

“Don’t cry, Kalia,” Mack pleaded, wiping
her cheeks gently. He gathered her close, and she rested her head on his
shoulder.

“Look, you don’t have to say anything. Just
think about it,” Mack said, slightly panicked at the tears.

Kalia sighed and stayed still, cradled in
Mack’s arms. Mack stroked her hair.

Finally Kalia pulled back and looked at
Mack with tear-drenched eyes. “Mack, I’ve missed you. I love you, too. You make
me happy,” she said as tears streamed down her face.

He looked at her and brushed at the tears. “You
don’t look happy.”

“Maybe on the outside,” she agreed with a
watery smile. “But on the inside, I’m dancing.”

He smiled at her.

“I’d like to tell you about Mani’s father.”

“You don’t have to, Kalia.”

“No, I want to.” She sat back.
“We met at a neuroscience conference in France. I
was translating, and he was one of the presenters. I fell in love, and we spent
a night together. One night.”

Mack’s gut clenched.

“Then I found out I was pregnant. And I
didn’t tell him.” She looked Mack in the eye. “You were right. I should have. I
thought about it. And I wanted to. God, that first week when I found out, I
wanted to talk to him about it. Share it with him and figure out what to do.”
She wrung her hands. “But I didn’t. He said one night only. He made that very
clear. I worried I would be, I don’t know, a home wrecker. Mess up his life. I
didn’t want to create more trouble and then, what if something happened and I
miscarried? I would have stirred all that up for nothing. So I decided to wait
until after the baby was born.” Her breath hitched. “Except the day I went into
labor, I found out that he had passed away,” she whispered.

Mack hugged her close.

“I never got the chance to tell him. He
never knew he had a beautiful son,” Kalia said, leaning her head on his
shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Kalia,” Mack said.

“You’re right, you know,” Kalia said in a
low voice. “I should have told him right away. I shouldn’t have waited. He had
the right to know. It was his baby, too.”

“Kalia–”

“No. I’ll always regret it.” She sighed. “It
might have given him something to live for. Maybe, if he’d known, it would have
given him a reason to fight harder and beat the cancer.”

“Or it might have made him sadder to realize
what he was leaving behind.”

Kalia sniffed and nodded. “Maybe. His name
was Alexandre Sinclair. That’s why Mani’s middle name is Alexandre.”

He kissed her forehead. “He’d be proud of
you, you know. Of what you’ve done. And the honor of naming Mani after him.”

“Thanks.” Kalia dabbed at her eyes. She
leaned back. “His parents contacted me,” she continued with a worried frown.

“Really?”

Kalia nodded. “By email. Apparently Alex
wanted me to have something, and they want to deliver it. I just got the email
a couple of days ago. I haven’t responded yet.”

“Why not?”

Kalia frowned
.
“I’m
scared to . . .” She trailed off, glancing over at Mani.

“Because of Mani?” Mack asked, puzzled,
following her gaze.

Kalia nodded absently. “I don’t know them. I’m
pretty sure they don’t know about Mani, and I started worrying about whether
they could claim some custody rights if they found out about him. I don’t think
they’re in Canada. Alex lived in France. What if they have money and resources?
What if they decide Mani would be better off with them?” Kalia’s voice
escalated with panic.

“Kalia.”

“I know. I know,” she said, putting up her
hands in defeat. “I hear myself, and I think I’m crazy. I know it’s ridiculous.
But every time I go to answer the email, I get panicked at the thought. What if
. . . what if . . .”

“Would it help to speak to a lawyer? I
could give Sean a call. He does all the legal stuff for the band.”

“Could you? Would you mind?”

“Not at all. He might be around. I’ll try
him,” Mack said, reaching for his phone.

“Now? Really? It’s not too late?”

Mack checked the time. “No, it’s fine. I
can always leave a message if he doesn’t answer.”

Mack, his phone to his ear, wandered down
the hall when Mani squealed. “Okay, yes, I understand. Thanks, Sean. That’s
helpful. No, that’s not necessary. I’ll let you know if we need more
information. Okay, thanks again. Bye.” Mack finished the call and walked back
into the room.

Kalia looked up expectantly.

“It looks good,” he said, setting down his
phone. “Sean practiced family law for fifteen years before he took on entertainment
contracts, so he knows his stuff. He said it would be very unlikely for a court
to take a child away from his biological parent, unless they were unable to
provide the basic necessities of life. He said France and Canada have similar laws.
He didn’t think you had anything to worry about.”

“Really?” Kalia asked, relieved.

“Really.” Mack drew Kalia into his arms and
held her close.

Kalia held on tight, resting her cheek
against his heart. “And what do you think? Do you think I should meet with
them?”

“Are there any other reasons why you shouldn’t?”

Kalia considered. “No,” she said after a
moment. “None that I can think of.”

“Are there any reasons why you should?”

Kalia thought for a moment. “I didn’t have
a chance to say good-bye to Alex. And maybe this would help. I think he’ll
always be in my heart, and I want Mani to know that his father was beautiful
and strong.” She pulled back and looked into Mack’s eyes. “After Alex, I thought
I wouldn’t have any room to love. That I wouldn’t feel that way again. Or worse,
that I’d be afraid to love. But I was wrong. Mack, I love you. It’s a little
deeper, a little stronger, a little brighter.” She cupped his face with her
hands and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I’d like to meet Alex’s parents and hear
what they have to say. I’d like a chance to say good-bye.”

Mack smiled. “Then you should. And know
that I love you, too. I could watch Mani for you.”

“Thanks.” She kissed him softly.

When Kalia went home that night, she
settled Mani and went to her computer. She found the email from Alexandre’s dad
and hit reply. After starting and stopping, and writing and rewriting, she finally
found the words.