Perfectly Shattered (11 page)

Jeremy put his arm around her to keep her warm from the biting cold. Cami turned up her collar, wishing she had brought her woolen neck scarf. They were walking at a brisk pace, no more than half a block from her apartment, when she nearly ran into Bradan.

“Oh, God. Bradan.” Cami didn’t know how to react. Politeness kicked in to save her. “Ah, this is Jeremy.” She nodded toward her date, but took the liberty of ogling the gorgeous man in front of her. He’d worn a suede jacket with faded jeans and looked delectable.

Bradan nodded. He scrutinized Cami and then her date. “Hello, nice to meet you.” But she could tell he didn’t mean it at all. There was a strange look in his eyes—verging on anger, unless she misjudged.

“What are you doing here?” Cami had a feeling she knew, but wasn’t sure.

“Just came to see you. But you weren’t home,” he said derisively. And if Cami didn’t know better, she’d swear he was jealous. Though she couldn’t imagine why. It was his idea to avoid seeing her exclusively. Now he had to live with it.

Despite herself, Cami gave a little smile. Seeing Bradan uncomfortable was retribution enough. Then she admonished herself for being vindictive. “No, I wasn’t home.” There was no way she was going to let him off easy by saying they were just friends, knowing he wouldn’t believe her anyway.

“Well then.” Bradan nodded and, with a cursory glance at Jeremy, dodged around them and went on his way. He said nothing about what he had wanted, or if he’d call. It infuriated Cami.

“Oooh,” she said. “He makes me so mad.”

Jeremy still had his arm around her, and they started walking again. “He’s the complication?”

“Yes, he definitely is.”

Cami invited Jeremy in, and they sipped some wine for a while and discussed menus. She showed him her well-equipped though small kitchen. And was tickled that he was interested in various rare ingredients she’d found at specialty stores in the city.

He was an easy man to be with, but not one likely to steal her heart. Nor did she have any interest, especially now that she knew Brittany was on his radar. As she walked him to the door at the end of a relaxed evening, Cami said, “So, is it okay if I talk to Brittany?”

“You probably should. Otherwise I don’t think I’ll have the nerve to ask her out. She’s really cute, and I’d hate to be shut down.”

“You won’t be. Trust me.” Cami hugged him and sent him on his way. She felt good except for the nagging mystery of Bradan.

He’d clearly come by to see her, but could have called first. Then she realized she’d left her phone at home, turned off. Retrieving it, she discovered there were three messages from Bradan. It looked like he’d tried to reach her, and with no success, had just come over.

It made her feel good that he wanted to see her, but uneasy at the same time. Cami dared not think he wanted something more, knowing her hopes would be dashed. He wasn’t that kind of guy. He liked the sex, and he wanted more of it. That was all.

Yet it wasn’t all for her. Cami felt more. Her heart was involved, and sex, no matter how hot, wouldn’t be enough. That much was clear. If there had ever been a time when she could jump into Bradan’s bed for the physical pleasure only, that time had passed. He’d ruined it when he made love to her like he really cared, dammit.

Chapter 12

The next morning while Cami was getting dressed for Pilates, her phone rang. It was Bradan.

“So, who was your date last night?”

He was infuriating. “Why is it your business? You don’t check with me before you go out.”

There was no quick reply, and Cami thought she’d won that round.

“I kept trying to call you. Don’t you answer your phone?” He sounded really annoyed.

“I didn’t take it on my date. You didn’t mention you planned to call.” Her words sounded as irascible as she felt.

“So what’s his name?”

“I told you, it’s Jeremy…Jeremy Adler. What’s this inquisition all about?”

“Is it serious?”

“Is what serious?”

“You and Jeremy.”

Cami was flabbergasted. “Serious? Come on, Bradan. I was with you the night before. How serious could it be?”

“You tell me.”

She let out a long gasp of sheer frustration. “You are impossible. How serious is it with the women you sleep with?”

“You slept with him?”

“You really piss me off, Bradan. Just because you fall into bed with a woman you hardly know doesn’t mean everyone is made that way. I resent the fact that you think that of me.”

Silence.

“Sorry.” He did sound less aggressive, but she wasn’t sure he was sorry.

Cami tapped her foot, waiting.

“I came by last night because I wanted to see you.”

“Okay, well, I was busy.” There was less annoyance in her voice.

“I’d like to see you tonight. This guy at work, Ian, is having a party at his house. I’d like you to come with me.”

Cami paced. “Can’t you take one of your other women?”

“I could. But I want to take you.”

“Why?”

“You’re the only one I can talk to.”

“Fight with, you mean.” But she was smiling.

“Yes.” Seconds ticked by. “So, you’ll come with me?”

“I guess so.”

“Don’t sound so excited.” Bradan laughed. “I’ll pick you up at five.”

“Fine.”

Pilates was going to be Cami’s chance to talk to Brittany. Though her friend didn’t think she could do
nice
in men, Jeremy was going to be the exception—Cami just knew it. Class was uneventful, and afterwards they stopped for a late breakfast.

The coffee roasters not only had excellent coffee but hung art work from locals on the walls. Cami felt like she was getting some culture while she enjoyed her drink. “This cappuccino is the best I’ve had.”

Brittany sipped from her steaming cup. “My mocha latte is good too.”

The shop was buzzing with customers, though it was large enough to accommodate them. It was designed with marble and granite counters. The walls were dark polished wood, and the basic design of the place was Italian, another reason Cami liked it. They munched on their pastries, looking around at all the customers.

“It’s packed in here. We were lucky to get a table.” Brittany took a big bite of lemon filling.

“Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something.” Cami tried to sound casual, because if she made too big of a deal about it, that might cause an instant rejection.

“What’s up?” Brittany held her mug in both hands.

“I went out with Jeremy last night. He took me to the Ferris wheel.”

“Isn’t that thing awesome? I have to go back.”

“Yeah, well, it was. Here’s the thing.”

Brittany looked over and raised a brow.

“He likes
you
.” There was no better tactic with her friend than directness. Brittany was blunt if anything and never tactful.

“So he asked you out?”

Cami laughed. “I know it sounds funny. We kinda hit it off, but just as friends. He cooks too, and he’s going to help me with the contest. But he’s hot for you, Brittany.”

Her friend shook her head and started to say something. Cami cut her off.

“No, wait. Before you say what I know you are going to say, just listen. We’re friends, right? And friends have to tell each other how it is. You keep falling all over these music guys, and they are all punks. They don’t know how to treat a woman. And no matter how much they turn you on, they just aren’t right for you.”

Brittany grinned.

“What?” Cami thought the joke was on her.

“I was going to say—before you cut me off—that I need to make a change. Besides, I think Jeremy is cute.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, sure. Wasn’t I the one that asked you the other night if he was cute?”

“So, asking me is your way of saying you like him?”

“Could be.”

Cami grinned. “Okay, then expect him to ask you out. He really is…” She caught herself before she said the dreaded word.

“Nice?” Brittany smirked.

Cami nodded.

“I’ll try nice. Clearly I’ve had enough pricks to last me for a few months.”

They both laughed. Cami was relieved. She really liked both of them, and hoped they’d hit it off.

“Now you have to help me.”

Brittany looked at her. “Oh, no. Not shopping again. You’re too hard. You don’t like anything.”

“No, not that. But I’m going to a party with Bradan tonight. I’ll be able to wear something dressier. I just need your help deciding.”

“Okay, I’ll come over. If you promise to feed me again.”

“I have leftover pizza rustica,” Cami said to entice her.

“Yum, pizza, my favorite. And a dish I understand. Well, except for the
rustica
.”

“It’s more like a pie than just a round, flat pizza. The crust is more like pastry than bread, and it is filled with salami and a blend of cheeses. So much better than just dough, sauce, and cheese. It’s buttery, salty, and fluffy.” Cami’s mouth was watering just from talking about it.

“Okay, you sold me. I’m hungry already. Let’s go.”

It didn’t take long to settle on the right outfit. Brittany quickly tossed aside most of Cami’s wardrobe, stating it was dated. “You need to shop more. How long have you had this stuff?”

Admittedly, Cami hadn’t needed to dress up often. It had been a while. There was an outfit she’d purchased after arriving in Seattle. She’d needed something for a party Malena had invited her to. Just a get-to-know-people event at a local restaurant.

Fortunately, Brittany considered the clothes a good choice, because they didn’t have time to shop. The party wasn’t formal, so the soft wool skirt and satin top would work. With her beige leather shoes, she was set.

They hadn’t been scheduled at Blue Skirt for a couple of days, and Cami hoped it wasn’t the start of a pattern. She needed the income. With the pressing issue of what to wear out of the way, they migrated to the kitchen and split the pizza rustica.

Brittany had never had that type of pizza before. Cami watched her gnaw through the top layers to get to the delicious pastry crust. It was common to do, because that part was so delicious. It was going for the best part first, kind of like eating the filling out of cookies.

“Good?”

“Mmm, delicious.”

After making short work of the pizza, they washed it down with soda. Both leaned back, stuffed. Brittany’s phone rang. Right after they’d arrived at the apartment, Cami had texted Jeremy with news that it was a go for the date. She hoped it was him.

Brittany stood. “Jeremy, hi.”

Cami smiled and began clearing away the dishes.

“Gotta run,” Brittany whispered to her with the phone away from her mouth. She waved as she started toward the door. Cami could hear her talking. “Yeah, yeah. Tonight is good. No, I don’t have plans.”

The door shut and Cami was alone. She had plenty of time before she had to get ready for her date. Homesickness struck and she gave in to it. She dialed her mother’s number. They’d always been close, and without her father, they only had each other.

“Hey, Mom. How are you?”

It felt so good to hear her mother’s voice and know that she was okay. The last few days had been unsettling, and more than once Cami had felt vulnerable to old patterns. She needed to hear her mother and feel the closeness and comfort of the relationship.

“So, you’re doing well there? Getting ready for the cooking contest?”

“Yeah, Mom. There’s so much good food here in the city. It’s going to be hard to narrow it down to one recipe worthy of submitting. Wait until you taste my pizza rustica. I’ve been testing different blends of cheeses and brands of salami. It makes a difference.”

“Yes, dear. I’m sure it’s delicious. You’ll have to make it for me. I’ll try to come up and wait for the contest results with you.”

Cami knew it was quite a distance. “That will be great if you can. But it’s a long way. There will be plenty of contests. This is my first. So don’t stress over it.”

“Have you met anyone? Are you seeing anyone?”

Cami had always shared everything with her mother, and she knew all her daughter’s secrets. There was nothing to hide from her.

“I have met a guy. I’m not sure he’s right for me, though. I’m nervous about it.”

“Sure, dear. Well, all new relationships can be scary, until you get to know the person.”

Or even if you
did
know the person. “We’ll see. To be honest, he has a reputation for sleeping around, and I’m not sure I’m up to the challenge. Men like that don’t necessarily change their ways. And, Mom, I just…I’m still a bit fragile. You know?”

“Yes, dear. I do. You take care of yourself. Call me if you need anything. Or if you need to come home for a while, I’d love to have you. But don’t judge too soon. If you like him, the man must have something going for him.”

Cami caught up on all the news in Walla Walla. It was a small town, and nothing earthshaking happened there. But it was good to hear about home. She checked on how her aunt was doing, and learned that her cousin, Nina, was doing well in college. She loved California.

“It’s not that far away,” her mother said. “You could go visit her sometime.”

Maybe she would, but right then it seemed like another world. Things never stayed the same. As children, she and Nina had been close. They’d confided everything to each other, and when they had started dating had shared every last detail.

That was until everything fell apart for Cami. Talking to her mother was bittersweet. It was a good feeling to have that connection, to feel her mother’s love. But it also brought back memories, potent ones that Cami had never really been at peace with.

When she hung up, she felt better, while at the same time sad. Life wasn’t easy. Growing up wasn’t easy. Nothing was easy. Cami had to stay tough. That was what she told herself, but she had trouble believing it, knowing how little it would take to make her fall apart.

She took her time getting ready, opting for classical music instead of heavy metal. Like Bradan, music of all types was enjoyable to her. With butterflies in her stomach, and a slight headache encroaching, she chose something relaxing.