Perfectly Broken (6 page)

"Thanks," she said
,
but it was barely a sound as she opened the bottle and chugged half of it through heavy breaths.

"Running when you're hung-over is probably not the safest idea. Your body was already dehydrated." I frowned and nudged the banana closer
.
She made a face and shook her head. "You need to get something in your stomach. The potassium will help keep you from getting muscle cramps."

"I know," Lili said with a frown. She grabbed the banana and peeled it savagely, making her annoyance with me clear.

"Alright. I'll leave you to it." I pulled out two more water bottles from the fridge, dropping one in front of her and took the other with me back to the living room.

"Got any plans today?" Lili asked as she dropped onto the couch and curled her legs under her. She had showered and seemed to be feeling almost back to her normal self.

I glanced over at her from the recliner and shrugged. "I have some errands to run but nothing major. How about you? Big plans to go out and meet your drinking buddy from last night?" I asked, the question sounding harsh to my ears
.
If she heard anything off in my voice, she didn't let it show.

"I barely remember anything from last night. Just short glimpses," she said through a laugh, like it was somehow funny that she'd gotten herself into such a dangerous situation.

I fought back the urge to yell at her and shook my head, turning back toward the TV without responding.

"I do have to go to the shop today. I have my appointment with Kas to finish my tattoo." She motioned to her side and I nodded.

"Do you need a ride? I could drop you off on my way to go run errands. It would motivate me to get off my ass and get my shit done," I offered.

I needed to think and clear my head
,
so I'd decided to spend some time at my workshop this afternoon
.
The shop was on my way.

After my parents died seven years ago, I'd been in counseling. They tried all sorts of methods to get me to open up
,
to express my anger or frustration or even my relief at what happened. Something, anything, to prove that I could feel. But
,
I couldn't. Because of this, they started pushing me toward different creative outlets until I finally found a way to connect with my own emotions.
 

My counselor at the time, a guy in his early forties who always told me to call him Bill, worked in a metal shop. He took me with him a few times, teaching me about the materials; the differences in each, how to fuse them together, how to melt them properly. One day, while I was attempting to form a circle from a piece, something just clicked.

I started talking to Bill about my parents. The memories from my childhood, both good and bad, came out as I worked beside him. I bought an empty warehouse space about two years later and never told a soul. Not even Bill. It's my place, the only place that is mine alone. It's where I can think.

"Sure. That'd be great. Let me change and I'll be ready," she said and headed back to her bedroom.

I walked down the hall to grab my shoes, stopping abruptly as I passed her door
.
It was partly open. The sight of her standing with her back to the door while she looked in her closet, her hands behind her back as she fastened her bra had me in a trance. I swallowed hard and told myself to keep walking but it was no use. She was the complete opposite of the girls I normally went for. She was just so tiny. I'd always picked on her about being so little
,
but watching her last night, the way she moved, brought her into focus in a way she hadn't been to me before.

She bent forward, grabbing her brush and pulling it through her hair from the underside and I couldn't help my body's reaction. Fuck
,
she was so sexy. Her body covered only by her bra and panties as she bent over made me want to stay home and do nothing but lock us both inside her room
.
She stood, tossing her hair
,
and I forced myself to move. My mind was coming up with far too many mental images of her tossing her hair that way on top of me and it took all I had to make it down the hall to my room. I dropped onto my bed and threw my arm over my eyes as I laid back.

"Calm," I said the word out loud, as if maybe my body would listen to the direction if it were spoken. I had to think of something else, get that image out of my head. But
,
it was no use, it was burned into my brain now. I couldn't un-see it and I wouldn't want to anyway. I'd never seen anything sexier in my life. "Fuck." I tried to adjust myself, willing my body to cooperate.

"Ready?" she called from the living room.

"That's an understatement," I grumbled under my breath
.
I grabbed my shoes and tugged them on before heading into the hall.

"You coming?" I heard her yell from the door and I rolled my eyes. This was just too much right now.
 

"I wish," I said and she appeared at the end of the hall.

"Is that so?" She raised an eyebrow. Fuck. She would hear me being a smart ass right now.

"Isn't that what I always wish for?" I gave her my best cocky smile and grabbed my keys from the table by the door before heading out to my car.

"Perv," she replied
,
slamming the door behind us, laughing.

Two minutes after dropping Lili at the shop, my phone chirped the annoying text message sound from my pocket
.
I rolled my eyes, digging it out as I drove. I'd turned on the ringer last night in case Lili actually responded and forgot to put the damn thing back on vibrate. I glanced at the screen.

NEW TEXT from BITCH

"Wonderful," I said, pulling up to the stoplight before checking the message. I was less than a mile from my workshop and the promise of finally clearing my head. I could keep going and ignore it
,
or I could get it over with now and try to put it aside while I worked on my sculpture. I groaned and opened the message.

I need you to take Conner. I have to work.

I sighed in relief that it was actually about Conner this time and typed out a quick reply before the light turned green.

Be there in twenty.

I tossed my phone into the cup holder between the seats, grinning. This would be just the distraction I needed tonight. Time with my son.

"It's about time
,
" Lizzie said, irritated as she spun away from me while she spoke
.
I climbed the steps to the porch before following her into the living room where she was throwing things around as she hunted for something.

"I told you twenty minutes," I said flatly. It wasn't my intention to be here long enough to argue with her but she certainly seemed determined to piss me off.

"That was almost an hour ago!" She threw Conner's backpack toward me when she spoke. I caught it easily, narrowing my eyes at her. Apparently, I wasn't just watching him while she went to work. I'd had Conner last weekend for visitation but I wouldn't say no to keeping him again and she knew that.

"Actually, Elizabeth, it was twenty minutes ago," I responded, struggling to keep my voice even. She hated it when people used her full name and I did it to let her know she was about to push me too far. She glared at me before spinning toward the back of the house.

"Conner! I have to go! What the hell is taking you so long?" she yelled down the hall. I immediately dropped his backpack by the door where I stood and grabbed her by the elbow before she stormed toward his room.

"I'll get him, Lizzie. If you need to go, go. I'll lock the door on our way out." I started down the hall, not wanting her to yell at him anymore. If she was in a mood she would take it out on anyone, Conner included
.
Based on the attitude I'd gotten from the second I walked in, this was one of those times.
 

"Fine." I heard the front door slam as I reached Conner's door at the back of the house. I took a deep breath to calm my irritation with Lizzie before facing Conner
.
Tapping my knuckles on his door as I opened it
,
I spotted him sitting on the foot of his bed, staring down at the floor.

"Hey buddy," I said, smiling automatically. There was something about being around him that could always make even my worst days brighter
.

"Hi
,
Daddy." His voice was soft and he didn't look up at me when he spoke. He kicked his legs a little and sighed a sound that always broke my heart. She'd already been yelling at him.

"What's wrong, little man?" I asked, moving over to kneel in front of him.

"Mommy's mad at me," he said on an exhale, lifting his eyes just enough for me to see that he was holding back tears. He was stronger than I gave him credit for. He'd been through so much in his four years and had always been able to bounce back. A part of me wondered how much more he could take before his resilience wore out. He shouldn't have to take any of it.

"Well, Mommy's gone to work and you're going to come stay with me for a few days," I said as I reached out to fix his hair which was sticking up on one side where it hadn't been brushed today.

"I can't go," he replied, looking down again as he sniffled softly.

"Why not?"

He pointed at his feet. He had his shoes on but he the laces were untied. "I asked Mommy to tie my shoes and she said I was too old cuddle anymore." His tiny voice shook as he spoke and I had to bite back my anger at Lizzie. I hated it when she got in these moods when we were together but it's been even worse for Conner since we've been apart.

"I think you mean coddle, buddy," I said, reaching down to tie his shoes. I remembered the fight Lizzie and I had the first time she sent him to my house in those shoes. I didn't understand why she insisted on buying him shoes with laces, knowing she wouldn't have the patience to teach him how to tie them. I pulled him up from the bed and ushered him toward the bathroom so I could fix his hair. My thoughts were spinning as I tried to think of ways to make his day better. I needed to put this out of his mind.

"What do you want to do today? Since it's Friday, I think we should have an adventure! What do you think?" I asked and I saw the spark, that beginning of a smile
,
starting in his eyes. I grabbed him and tossed him over my shoulder, hanging on to his legs as I carried him down the hall
.
The sound of his giggle was music to my ears.
 

"I know! We should go watch for Transformers!" he said excitedly as I grabbed his backpack from the entryway and locked the door on my way out.

I waited until we were at my car before I set him down, pretending I was going to drop him to make him squeal with laughter. I made a show of looking up at the sky for a long time before I opened his car door. Ever since he watched the first Transformers movie with Tish last year, this was something we did at least once a month. Tish told him that if he watched at the right time, from the right place, he might be able to see them coming to Earth. Conner was now convinced that every shooting star he saw was a Transformer.

"It does feel like tonight will be a good night to look for them," I said as I helped him buckle into his car seat. I tossed his backpack beside him and walked to my door, looking up at the sky again before I slid behind the wheel. "How about a movie to kill some time first?"

"Yeah!" His enthusiastic response is exactly what I hoped for, more proof of his incredible resilience.

"Jackson!" I blink, this voice is close and I try to make my eyes stay open. "Jackson, I need you!"

CHAPTER FIVE

Tattoo Shop

LILI

There was nothing quite as peaceful as the sound of a tattoo gun and the murmur of voices in a crowded room. The place was packed, even more than normal for a Friday afternoon. I curled my toes in an attempt to keep from clenching the muscles in my legs, letting out a slow breath as the loud buzz cut off and the feel of the paper towel scraping across my aching skin took over.

I opened my eyes, tensing slightly as Kas ran her pinky along an area on my hip to spread the petroleum jelly.

"Need a break?" she asked, a smirk on her face as she held the needle poised over my skin.

"Do you know me at all?" I replied and she shook her head. The sound of her gun covered her laugh and I clenched my jaw in anticipation of the pain. As I forced my body to relax, I noticed the guy in the next station over watching me. He was obviously getting a massive back piece done because he’d been here almost as long as I had
,
but he didn't seem distressed at all.

His long legs were stretched in front of him while his arms draped over the back of the chair, giving Tish the angle he needed as he worked near his left shoulder. The definition of his biceps as his muscles tightened and relaxed again was clearly visible. I mentally applauded the effort it must have taken to keep that pain from his expression.

I fought the urge to jerk in response to Kas' needle finding the sensitive skin just inside my hip bone and squeezed my eyes shut. "Fucking a…" I said through clenched teeth, holding my breath and counting to twenty in my head before letting it out and opening my eyes again.

The guy in the next booth grinned at my expression and I let my eyes roam to make a quick assessment of what I could see of him from my vantage point. He was tall and
,
from the definition of his muscles, I could tell he worked out. Something about the way he draped his body over the chair and tried to hide his pain made me think of Zane.

I was with Zane when he got the piece that covered his right shoulder. In true Zane fashion, he acted macho, completely impervious to the pain. I was looking at the design books near the front door when I noticed Tish made him wince. I couldn’t pass up the chance to mock Zane.
 

I stuck my bottom lip out playfully and asked, “What? The big, strong man can’t handle a little tattoo?”