Authors: John Saul
Chapter Thirty-three
I
'm going to die.
I’m
not
going to die,
Lindsay silently insisted to herself. But even as she uttered the mute denial, the terrible, hypnotic chant rang in her head again.
I’m going to die . . . I’m going to die . . .
Lindsay had lost all track of time; she no longer had any idea how long she’d been held in the dank confines of her prison or in the strange child’s room, let alone whether it was day or night.
All she knew was that the man who had taken her from her home was crazy.
He was crazy, and he was going to kill her just like he was killing Shannon.
She was back in the surreal little child’s room, the windows papered over, the room illuminated by candles set on every flat surface she could see. She was bound to one of the undersized chairs with duct tape, and it was all she could do to keep breathing through her nose, slowly and steadily, to keep from gagging on the cotton her captor had stuffed into her mouth before placing duct tape over her lips. So hard was it even to breathe that she’d been unable to struggle when he brought her again through the tunnel from the dank chamber where she and Shannon lay on damp mattresses during the hours when their captor didn’t want to “play” with them.
But now they were back, taped to their chairs, with those hideous parodies of smiles painted on the tape over their mouths, while the man who tortured them moved around the room like a figure in a nightmare from which Lindsay couldn’t awaken.
There was a teakettle boiling on the little stove—a stove only half the size of the one at home. She had assumed it was a toy, until she saw a flame emerge from one of the gas burners, and though at first she had no idea what the man had in mind, it became clear as he started laying out a miniature tea set on the tiny table that stood between her and Shannon. The table itself had been covered with a stained and tattered tablecloth that must have been beautiful when the linen, with its meticulously hand-embroidered pattern, was clean and new. Now, though, it only added a final macabre touch to the scene.
Though she sat perfectly still, Lindsay’s eyes followed every move the man made as he placed a cup and saucer, along with a tiny silver spoon, exactly in the center of each place at the table.
What would happen when he poured the tea? Was he going to at least take the tape from her lips—and the cotton from her mouth—so she could drink?
If he did, she knew exactly what she would do. She would scream. She would scream louder than she had ever screamed in her life, hoping that somewhere outside the playroom, someone would hear her.
Meanwhile, it was all she could do not to choke on the batting in her mouth.
Across the table from her, Shannon’s head lolled on her chest, her eyes closed.
Had she finally died?
No. Lindsay could see a slight movement in the other girl’s chest as she breathed. So she no longer had enough energy to hold her head up.
Then the man was looming over the table. “Good morning, my ladies,” he said in a strange, almost singsong voice. “How nice of you to come to tea.”
In his hand he held the steaming kettle.
Was it morning? It looked like night, but how could she be sure with the candles burning and the windows covered up?
“Aren’t we going to have fun today?” the man intoned. “All here together?” He poured the boiling water into the tiny teacups that sat in front of the girls. In the center of the table, the empty sugar bowl and creamer matched the chipped and cracked china set. “Don’t I set a lovely table?” He put the kettle back onto the little stove, then squatted down to perch on the tiny chair between Shannon and Lindsay. He picked up his cup—his pinky held carefully straight—and brought it up to his mask.
He pretended to sip.
“Mmmmm. That
is
good. An orange pekoe—my favorite in the morning.” He pretended to sip again, and Lindsay saw his eyes flash from Shannon to her, then back to Shannon.
“What’s the matter?” he demanded. “Isn’t the tea to your liking?” His voice began to rise like that of a petulant child. “Why aren’t you drinking it? This is a tea party!
My
tea party! You have to do what I want you to do.” Once again his eyes darted from one girl to the other. “Isn’t that right?” he demanded. “Isn’t that the way it works? Isn’t that the way it always was?”
Though she was terrified by the tone of his voice, Lindsay saw an opportunity to be rid of the tape over her lips and the cotton in her mouth, if only for a moment or two. She forced herself to nod at the man, looked at him with what she hoped were beseeching eyes.
But he wasn’t watching her; he’d turned to Shannon. “Drink your tea,” he ordered her, but Shannon seemed beyond even hearing. The man’s voice rose querulously. “I’m not having a good time,” he said. “Perhaps I shall have to discipline you.”
He rose from his chair, went to Shannon, and picked up her cup of hot water. Then he lifted her head by clutching her hair and tried to pour the scalding water into her mouth. It dribbled down off the tape and ran—red with the ink from her grotesquely painted smile—onto her chest.
As the scalding water hit her skin, Shannon’s body convulsed and her eyes snapped open. A muted moan penetrated the cotton in her mouth as she tried to scream, but the tape over her lips all but silenced it. “Drink your tea,” the man demanded. “Drink it!” Abruptly, he shoved Shannon, and her chair went over backward. “And you,” he said wheeling around to glower at Lindsay. “I thought better of you—I thought you had manners!” He came toward her, moving slowly, and Lindsay’s heart started to hammer. She couldn’t get enough air through her nostrils, and for a moment thought she was going to pass out.
“Drink your tea,” he demanded.
There was nothing she could do but nod eagerly, doing her best to communicate that she would.
She would if she
could.
“You will play with me!” the man cried. “You will play whatever I want to play. Don’t you understand? You have to
play with me
!” Suddenly, he was behind her, cutting through the tape around her wrists and ankles, and with a terrible clarity, she knew what he was about to do.
Then, exactly as she had foreseen it, it happened. He hauled her to her feet and threw her onto the little table. She felt shards of china cut into her as she landed on the tea set, and the sugar bowl and creamer shattered beneath her weight.
As he loomed over her, she saw her chance. While he fumbled with his pants, she brought her foot up, smashing it directly into his crotch with a kick so hard its strength surprised even her.
She saw the shock and pain in the man’s eyes as he doubled over and fell to the floor, writhing and groaning.
Instantly, Lindsay rolled off the table, scrambled to her feet, and raced to the chamber’s tiny door.
Too late, she saw the hasp and padlock.
As he struggled to get back to his feet, she darted to the trapdoor, stumbled down the stairs, and plunged through the darkness of the tunnel until she came to the room where he kept them when he wasn’t toying with them in the playroom.
Now she heard him stumbling behind her, and tore the tape and cotton from her mouth as she tried to make herself move faster. But she could hardly see in the gloom, and if she tripped—
Her thoughts were suddenly cut off by a sharp pain in her back. She whirled, and there he was, right behind her, holding a ski pole as if it were a fencing sword. As Lindsay cowered, he jabbed at her, the point at the end of the pole jabbing first her leg, then her stomach. She squealed and tried to turn away, only to feel the next jab in her side.
He was working his way higher, moving toward her face.
Her face, and her eyes.
“No!” she begged, hunching over, trying to protect herself.
The point of the pole was dancing around her now, and then she grabbed the end of it, trying to jerk it away from him, but he pulled back hard and she lost her footing.
Crying out in terror and agony, she crumpled to the floor. A moment later the man had her and was dragging her toward her mattress.
Then she was lying on her back, gasping and staring up at the terrible smile painted on the mask.
“I’m angry,” he said. “So angry I’m going to punish you. I don’t want to, but I have to.”
“Just let us go,” Lindsay said. “Please, just leave us alone.”
He gave no sign of even hearing her as he cuffed her to the wall. Then, as she watched helplessly—hopelessly—he held her water bottle high above her and let the water slowly pour out of it onto the floor.
“Bad girl,” he said, as if talking to a recalcitrant puppy. When it was empty, he tossed the bottle into the corner and disappeared back into the tunnel.
As she lay panting on the mattress, fighting the pain in her body and the terror in her soul, Lindsay heard the terrible words begin to echo in her mind yet again.
I’m going to die . . . I’m going to die . . . I’m going to die . . .
And slowly, as the rhythm of the words took over her mind, Lindsay realized that maybe she no longer cared.
Maybe death would be better than whatever the man was planning to do with her next.
For the first time, she began to sob.
Chapter Thirty-four
U
seless,
Dawn D'Angelo thought.
It’s all useless. We should all be out
doing
something!
The problem was, there wasn’t anything else
to
do, so she and the rest of Lindsay’s friends were gathered in Sharon Spandler’s office, getting everything ready for the vigil tonight.
A vigil,
Dawn thought.
Like she’s dead.
She gazed down at one of the three hundred copies of Lindsay’s junior class picture—three hundred copies that she’d been pressing one by one onto buttons to pass out at the vigil tonight—and struggled not to start crying again. Crying, she reminded herself, wouldn’t do Lindsay any good at all. And maybe—just maybe—the vigil would attract enough attention from the TV people so that someone, somewhere, would recall seeing Lindsay sometime during the last week.
Taking a deep breath, she carefully placed one of the miniature pictures facedown onto the button blank, placed the back piece onto the picture, then leaned her weight down on the lever that crimped the pin together with Lindsay’s image protected beneath a layer of transparent plastic. She pulled the pin from the machine and assessed her work.
Straight.
Perfectly centered.
Lindsay looked beautiful, her hair long, her makeup perfect, her face surrounded by dark green letters that read
FIND LINDSAY
along with the 800 number the Marshalls had set up. She added the pin to the box holding the hundred-odd others she’d already completed and set up the next one.
The rest of the cheerleaders were gluing Lindsay’s photograph to signs, and as she watched them, Dawn wondered if they felt as frustrated as she did that there wasn’t something more they could do. Somehow, all this seemed . . . she searched her mind for the right word, and finally one came:
useless.
While Lindsay was going through whatever horrible thing had happened to her, all she and the rest of her friends could do was make buttons and posters and hold a candlelight vigil.
Like a vigil was going to find Lindsay!
Tina McCormick sighed, put down her last poster, and looked at Dawn as if she’d read her thoughts. “This isn’t going to do any good at all, is it?” she said.
Oddly, hearing her own thoughts spoken out loud instantly transformed Dawn’s frustration into anger. “Don’t be stupid, Tina. Of course it is. The problem is, we can’t do enough!”
“We can only do what we can do,” Sharon Spandler said, setting six boxes of candles on the table between Tina and Dawn. “At least that’s what my grandma’s always saying. Can you start passing these out, Tina? Consuela says there’s already almost a hundred people in front of the gym.”
As Tina left and Dawn began putting together another pin, Hugh Tarlington, who had taken over as principal of Camden Green High only last fall, peered into the room from the doorway. “How are we doing?”
“We’re ready,” someone said.
Dawn pressed down on another button.
“Good,” Tarlington said. As the rest of the girls began trooping out the door past the principal, their arms full of posters, Dawn felt him eyeing her. He seemed on the verge of saying something before changing his mind and pulling the door closed. Less than a minute later, however, it opened again and Sharon Spandler came in.
For almost a full minute the coach stood silently watching as Dawn continued to work. Finally, as the silence threatened to stretch on forever, she spoke. “Dawn? Aren’t you coming?”
Dawn couldn’t even bring herself to look up, let alone go outside and face all those people and all those candles, knowing that almost everyone secretly thought Lindsay was dead.
She just couldn’t do it. “You go,” she said, and as she spoke, the hot lump of pain in the back of her throat made her voice break.
“You come with me,” the coach said quietly. “Come on, Dawn. We’ll do more buttons later.”
Dawn was about to shake her head when it occurred to her that compared to whatever Lindsay was going through, the vigil was nothing. And it wasn’t about her anyway, she thought, it was about Lindsay, and even though she still didn’t want to go to the vigil—didn’t want to think all the thoughts the candlelit prayer meeting would raise in her mind—it suddenly didn’t matter how hard it might be for her.
Lindsay needed to know she was there, praying for her, with everyone else.
She finished the button she was working on, tossed it into the box, and picked the box up.
She would hand the buttons out herself, and ask every single person to wear one. Little as it was, at least it was something.
She stood and walked out of the office and through the girls’ locker room, followed by the coach. Lindsay’s gym locker, like her regular one on the second floor of the main building, was covered with notes and hearts and yellow ribbons, and just the sight of the tributes made Dawn want to cry all over again.
But she didn’t.
Instead, as they passed the decorated locker, Dawn kissed her fingertips and pressed them to the cold metal. “We’ll find you, Linds,” she said. “We’ll find you, and you’ll be home soon.”
Sharon Spandler put her arm around Dawn’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze.
K
ara Marshall stared in astonishment at the mass of cars crowded into the high school parking lot. She’d expected no more than twenty people—maybe thirty at most—to show up for the vigil Dawn D'Angelo and her friends had organized, but the lot was so full, there were cars blocking other cars, and still more spilling out of the parking lot onto the front lawn. She was about to give up and try to find some place on the street to park her Toyota when she saw someone waving frantically, beckoning her to drive to the end of the parking lot closest to the gym. For a moment she almost backed out into the street anyway, but when she saw it was the principal, Hugh Tarlington, waving, she followed his direction to a spot that had been roped off with a sign that read
RESERVED FOR STEVE AND KARA MARSHALL.
She bit her lip as she pulled into the spot, wishing once more that Steve was with her.
Indeed, she wasn’t sure exactly how she was going to get through the evening without him.
One minute at a time,
she told herself as her eyes burned with sudden tears.
Just one minute at a time.
She got out of the Toyota, shook the principal’s hand, then let him guide her toward the crowd that had gathered in front of the school.
Not twenty or thirty. Not even forty or fifty.
No, hundreds of people had shown up. Hundreds of people, many of whom she recognized, but even more whom she’d never seen before.
And all for Lindsay.
She fished in her purse until she found a small packet of Kleenex, pulled one out and dabbed at her eyes.
On the steps of the school, all the cheerleaders were gathered, wearing their uniforms and holding signs that bore Lindsay’s picture—the same picture Kara had been putting up on walls and lampposts and windows every day since Lindsay disappeared. “Here comes Mrs. Marshall,” she heard one of them call, and suddenly everyone turned toward her and started to applaud as Hugh Tarlington led her up the steps.
At the top, she turned around and looked out at the mass of people who had gathered, and at the television cameras, and at the candles that were already lit, and suddenly she didn’t have the slightest idea what to say. Or even what to think. Her mouth worked for a moment, and finally she heard herself utter the only two words she could possibly speak: “Thank you.”
As if sensing her inability to say anything else, Hugh Tarlington led her back down the steps, and then the crowd was all around her, everyone reaching out to her, speaking to her, gently squeezing her hand or kissing her cheek. Her mind reeled as she moved through the crowd, recognizing old friends, and neighbors and acquaintances, and people she hadn’t seen in years.
All of Lindsay’s friends, along with their parents, and their teachers, and everyone else from the school.
Even Sergeant Grant was there, wearing khakis and a golf shirt.
Soon Kara was using the last of her tissues, but the outpouring of love and support kept flooding over her, and at last she let her tears flow unchecked.
Then Dawn D'Angelo was there, and Kara gathered the girl into her arms, hugging her close. “Thank you,” she whispered. “You have no idea what—” Her voice broke as her emotions once more overwhelmed her, but Dawn obviously knew what she’d been about to say.
“We’ll find her,” Lindsay’s best friend whispered, and for a magical moment, Kara believed her.
Then Claire Sollinger appeared out of the crowd, her patrician features softened by her concern. She kissed Kara on the cheek, then held both her shoulders and looked directly into her eyes. “How are you holding up?” she asked.
Kara, choking back a sob, managed a weak smile. “Well enough,” she said. Her eyes swept the crowd. “I’m overwhelmed.”
“It’s exactly what I expected,” Claire said as she drew a man only a couple of years older than Kara forward. “I’d like you to meet my brother, Patrick Shields.”
Patrick took Kara’s hand and leaned in to gently kiss her cheek. “I’m so very sorry about what’s happened.”
Their eyes met, and Kara could see the pain of his months of grief deep in Patrick Shields’s dark brown eyes.
Exactly the kind of pain she herself was suffering.
“And I’m so sorry for your loss—” she began, then fell silent as she realized how hollow the words must sound to him and how often he’d heard them before.
Patrick gave Kara’s hand a gentle squeeze, and as their eyes met again, she knew she needed to say no more; what they were going through could never be described with mere words. But in that brief moment when their eyes met, Kara felt a glimmer of solace. He understood exactly what she was feeling.
Suddenly the crowd fell silent, then the principal began to speak. As he began his litany of thanks, first for Lindsay’s friends, who had organized the vigil, then for the people who had come, more and more candles were being lit in the gathering night, until finally their warm glow seemed to hold the darkness at bay.
“I’ve also just been told that the reward for any information leading to Lindsay Marshall’s safe return has been increased to fifteen thousand dollars.”
A murmur passed over the crowd, and Kara looked around, wondering who had put up the money. But of course it could have been anyone—maybe even a group of people. But why remain anonymous, and give her no one to thank?
Steve should be here.
The thought brought fresh tears to her eyes, but now she concentrated on the principal’s final words, refusing to let herself break down again. “All of us here offer our love and support to Kara and Steve Marshall,” Hugh Tarlington said. His eyes moved over the crowd until he found her. “Kara, please know that all of us hold Lindsay gently in our thoughts and hearts and prayers tonight, tomorrow, and every moment until she comes home. And now, let us take you home.”
As someone began singing “Amazing Grace,” the crowd moved across the lawn toward the street, and as more voices joined in, Dawn D'Angelo and Patrick Shields fell in beside Kara. Each of them linked an arm in one of hers, and the slow march from the high school to the Marshall home began.