Perfect Kiss (13 page)

Chapter 10

‡

A
s Levi rolled his neck from side to side, a yawn crept up on him. It was five p.m. and he was starting his second pot of coffee for the day. Usually, he wasn’t an evening java drinker, but tonight, he knew that he might even break his all-time record and put a third pot on to brew.

For the past four nights, his sleep had somehow been even worse than ever. Every time his head hit the pillow, he’d tossed and turned with images of Shelby sleeping a few yards away from him. To make matters worse, he could see down into the bedroom window of the cabin from the window above his sink. He’d been rinsing off his dinner plate the first night she’d moved in when he’d seen the light, through the thin shade that covered her window, turn off.

Witnessing the moment that Shelby had gone to bed should not have registered on Levi’s awareness radar as anything more than a passing observation. Instead, it had spiked his lust gauge into the red zone. All kinds of visions of what she might have been wearing—or
not
wearing—had filled his mind like popups from a computer virus. Every time he shut one image down, three more took its place. Each snapshot burned into his consciousness, and no matter how hard he tried to clear the history and reboot his brain, he couldn’t erase what his mind’s eye had seen.

Shelby in
his
boxers and a tank top.

Shelby in a button up white shirt.

Shelby in a silk teddy.

Shelby in an oversized shirt and knee-high socks.

Shelby in a see-through nightgown.

Shelby in boy shorts and a crop top.

Shelby in a lace bra-and-panty set.

And his personal favorite—Shelby in her birthday suit.

All day today, those pictures would randomly pop into his mind. His only consolation was that today was her day off. He had seen her briefly when he had gone to the cabin this afternoon to install the upstairs bathroom tile. She had been getting ready to go to Matt and Amy’s, where she planned on visiting the twins before she and Amy headed over to Amanda’s for a Book Club meeting. Levi knew that the girls usually made a late night of it when they got together, so chances were, he wouldn’t see her tonight.

As long as he stayed away from his window, he might even be able to get some sleep tonight. How he’d turned into a creepy stalker seemingly overnight was mind boggling to him. If someone had told Levi that he’d be lying in bed, obsessing over a girl he’d shared one kiss with over a year ago and given a job and a place to stay, a girl who was one hundred percent off-limits, he would’ve said that they were smoking crack. Now, he felt like he was the one who needed to go to rehab. He was beginning to think that Shelby was becoming an addiction.

The door of the bar opened, and Levi looked up and smiled as Dina walked in. He hadn’t seen her since he’d shown her out and told her that he needed to talk to Shelby almost a week ago.

“Hey.” A genuine smile spread across her face. “I just wanted to come in before I left town to say goodbye and thank you.”

Levi tilted his head as he leaned his hands on the bar. “Thank you?” He wasn’t sure why a girl he’d done a one-eighty on and blown off when they were supposed to hook up would be thanking him.

“Yeah.” Brushing her hair behind her ear, she glanced down at the bar and then back up at him. “You saved me from a night that I’m sure would have been fun but, ultimately, I would have regretted.”

Hearing her explanation took Levi aback a little. How many women had regretted nights they’d spent with him? He’d never been one to count the notches in his belt, but to say that there were enough that he’d need a Paul Bunyan–sized belt to fit them all in, was fair. One-night, two-night, or on the rare occasion, three-night stands had been his MO ever since he could remember. He’d always treated women with respect, and it had never crossed his mind that he’d been a bad memory for any of them.

Dina reached out and covered his hand with hers. “Not that I would have regretted being with
you.
It’s just… I know I deserve more than a few nights of fun. In fact, you have now set a bar so high, I might be single for quite a while, but I know it will be worth the wait.”

Uh…what?
Levi was really confused. All they’d done was flirt. They hadn’t even kissed. How could he have set a bar at all, much less a high one?

“How’s that?”

“You reminded me what a man in
love
looks like. And not just that, but what he acts like, too. The way you kept checking on…Shelby, I think her name was? The way you went on alert any time you thought a guy was flirting with her, which was all night. The way you didn’t think twice about passing up on a sure thing because you knew that she needed to talk.” Sighing, Dina took back her hand and smiled. “It was inspiring. You inspired me to wait for a man who can’t keep his eyes off me. That doesn’t get jealous if another man flirts with me, just makes sure that it doesn’t go too far. That, without me even being his girlfriend, would pass up a hookup if I needed to talk, regardless of the fact that I told him it could wait.”

Levi was at a loss for words. He had no idea how to respond to that. He wanted to argue with her that he wasn’t in love with Shelby. That he’d never been in love in his entire life. Plus, he barely even knew Shelby. But, when he opened his mouth…nothing came out.

While he stood there, dumbstruck, Dina leaned across the bar, kissed him on the cheek, and whispered, “Good luck with everything. She’s one lucky girl.”

Then, before he managed to get his vocal cords to work, she turned and left.

What the hell?!

Dina’s words were repeating in his head. “
You reminded me what a man in love looks like
.” He wasn’t in love. No way. Obviously, she was seeing something that wasn’t there. Projecting. Or something.

As he moved down the bar to check on and attend to his customers, his chest felt tight—so tight that it was difficult to take a breath. Trying to shake this uncomfortable feeling off, Levi made small talk with several of the guys from the police station who had come in after their shift.

He was only vaguely aware of the fact that they were telling him about a call they’d gone on. As much as he tried to concentrate on their words, he just couldn’t seem to do it. It felt like he was outside of himself looking in. Like the world was spinning but he was standing still. Like he was dreaming or on a bad acid trip.

When the guys left to play pool, Levi checked the few tables he had on the floor. Then he stepped back behind the bar and did what he did every time he had downtime. He cleaned. As he did, he tried to wrap his head around why Dina’s words had ignited such a visceral reaction.

People were always telling him what was on their minds whether it was any of their business or not. In the years he’d spent in Hope Falls, one thing he’d come to expect was for people to give him their opinions. Not that he took them seriously. He’d always subscribed to the philosophy that opinions were like assholes—everyone has one and most of them stink.

So the question was: Why in the hell was he letting some chick he barely knew and who barely knew him get under his skin? Why did a few offhanded remarks from someone he’d spent only a handful of hours with have any effect on him whatsoever? Why had her words cut through him like a knife?

Because she’s right.

Levi dismissed that nagging voice in his head. It obviously had no idea what it was talking about. Did he care about Shelby? Yes. Was it more than was proportional to the amount of time he’d known her and the platonic nature of their relationship? Maybe.

But was it love?
No.

Feeling like the walls were closing in on him, Levi needed a distraction as much as he needed his next breath. His eyes scanned the bar and counted the patrons. There were less than a dozen. Knowing what he had to do, he reached up and rang the bell that hung over the cash register, and the entire place erupted in cheers.

“Next round on me!” he shouted. He had to do something to distract himself from the voices in his head, the unwanted feelings he was doing his damnedest to suppress, and the walls of reality that were closing in on him.

He was very aware that this was just a temporary solution and it couldn’t become a habit or he’d be broke, but tonight, he’d take it.

Chapter 11

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“S
o, how are things going at Levi’s?” Amy asked, as they pulled up in front of Mountain Ridge Outdoor Adventures.

Shelby had gone over to her brother’s house to spend some time with the twins before she and Amy had left for their book club meeting. It had only been four days since she’d seen them last, but the girls had already changed. Their little cheeks had gotten chubbier and Peyton was already starting to push up on her little knees like she was going to crawl.

As she’d played with the girls while Amy finished getting ready, she had found herself amazed at how much she’d missed them. She’d even started tearing up while feeding Paige. The thought of leaving them at the end of the summer—her self-imposed deadline to have put her Humpty-Dumpty-self back together again and return to her
real
life—made her want to cry even harder.

It was very possible that it could be because she’d bonded with the little angels at pretty much the most vulnerable time in her life. Over the past few years, her maternal clock had been ticking. She’d done her best to ignore it, drown it out, deny its existence, but it had still been there. Which had to be why she was having such a hard time processing the news she’d gotten at the hospital in San Diego. Sometimes, it takes losing something to make you realize or—as was her case—accept the fact that you wanted it in the first place.

“Shelby.” The concern in Amy’s voice snapped Shelby out of her reflections.

Turning towards her in the passenger seat, she was struck by the worry that was evident across Amy’s pretty face. “Yeah?”

“If things aren’t what you expected, you know you can move back in any time you want. We love having you—”

“Oh, no. I’m mean, thanks. But no. Everything’s great. I love the cabin, and I can’t beat the commute,” she teased, hoping to put Amy’s concerns to rest. She hadn’t meant to give her the wrong impression, because she’d checked out when her mind had decided to take a little stroll down memory lane.

She really did love living at the cabin. She felt safe there. Happy. In fact, it felt more like home than any other place she’d ever lived, including the home she’d grown up in.

The only drawback, if it could even be called that, was the fact that Levi was working on it all the time. Not only was he there, but more times than not, he was operating power tools. It wasn’t the noise that bothered Shelby; it was the sight that got her hot and
bothered
.

Every time she swore Levi had reached the peak of his sexy quota, achieved maximum sexiness potential, he would prove her wrong by one-upping himself. Just today, she’d seen him sanding the stairs and, in an instant, she’d been reduced to a blubbering mass of overactive libido.

She’d always had a thing for a manly man, a jack-of-all-trades, a guy who knew his way around a tool belt and a garage. As much as she could appreciate pretty boys, the grease monkeys and construction workers were the ones who got her juices flowing. Seeing Levi work with a multitude of tools was like her very own fantasy in live-action 3D.

Up until now, she’d been able to avoid him. Whenever he was working upstairs, she tackled a problem downstairs and vice versa. That had worked like a charm so far. Unfortunately, they were planning on tackling a larger project tomorrow. Levi had hired two part-time bartenders who were going to be working some shifts so that he would have more time to work on the cabin. Working with Levi at the bar was bad enough, but being enclosed in a space with him for an extended period of time
alone
might prove to be more than she could handle.

“Okay, if you’re sure. But just remember, you are always welcome to stay with us.” Amy smiled sweetly then glanced over towards Amanda’s house. “You ready to go in?”

“Yep.”

As they got out of the car and walked up to the front door, Shelby had to admit that she was really looking forward to hanging out with Amy and her friends. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a girls’ night. It was definitely B.K. (before Kevin). Once they’d gotten together, she’d pretty much ignored all of her friends. At first, it had been because they’d wanted to spend every second they could together. It was almost like they were on a high, but instead of it being drug-induced, it was relationship-induced.

Everything with Kevin was…just…more. More passionate. More intense. More dramatic. It was addicting.

A few months in, when the high finally wore off and Shelby started coming out of the cloud of obsession she’d been floating in, she started to pull away. That’s when things turned. The first
incident
occurred when she told Kevin that she was going to grab a drink with friends after her bartending shift. He forbid it. She stood up for herself. It had ended badly.

Looking back, Shelby knew that that was the moment she should have left. But, honestly, she had been in a state of shock. The next day, she’d had to call in sick to work because of the bruises visible on her cheek and neck. Kevin had taken care of her; he’d apologized and said that it would never happen again.

She remembered thinking that she should go to her sister’s house. But she’d been so embarrassed. Hindsight being twenty-twenty, she now could see that her hesitancy had to do with pride. Also, there was no way, back then, she could have known just how bad things could get.

As they stepped up to the door, Amy placed her hand on Shelby’s shoulder. “You sure you’re okay? You seem like you’re a million miles away.”

“Sorry. I guess I just have a lot on my mind. I’m fine. Really,” she assured her as she knocked.

“You know, I’m here if you ever need to talk.”