Perfect for You (8 page)

“Meg?” Jess’s voice is a loud whisper. She must be finished with her match.

I pull away from Ash, but he doesn’t want to let me go. “It’s Jess. Coach must have noticed I took off. He’ll kill me if I don’t get back to the courts.”

Ash groans in protest.

“Come with me.” I tug his arm, practically dragging him out from under the bleachers.

Jess is rounding the bleachers when we come into view. “There you are. Moyers is going to flip his toupee if you don’t get back to the courts. I covered for you and said you ran to the bathroom. Girl stuff. That shut him up, but if you don’t show up soon…”

“Got it. Thanks.” I reach for her arm. “How did you do?” Jess should be a guaranteed win, but you never know.

“I won. Grayson and Leanne aren’t doing so well though.”

I nod and take off running toward the courts. Ash jogs next to me, still holding my hand. I wonder if he’ll ever let go.

We take a seat on the grass by Grayson and Leanne’s court. “Come on, Gray!” I call. She’s getting ready to serve. “Remember what we practiced!” Without looking my way, she nods and tosses the ball in the air.

Ash wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer. Jess smiles at us. “You guys are too cute.” We kind of are. We’re perfect together. So why can’t I get Noah out of my mind? I hate feeling this way. I hate betraying Ash. Even if I’m not physically cheating on him, it’s still wrong that I feel this way. It’s wrong that I like Noah’s attention. I like the way he looks at me. I like the way he smiles at me with that dimple that’s sexy as hell. I don’t know what to make of my feelings for Noah. Can I really have feelings for both Ash and Noah at the same time? Or does it all come back to Derrick and how Noah reminds me of him?

Ash rubs my knee. “I think Gray just might pull out a win, now that you’re here to cheer her on.” Maybe I can explain this to him. Maybe he’ll understand that I feel the same way about Noah being here for me. No. That would only hurt him more. He’d be jealous that he can’t do that for me.

“She’s doing great,” I say, deciding to leave Noah out of it. I don’t want to fight.

Ash and I cuddle for the rest of the match, focusing on cheering Grayson and Leanne to victory, which they finally pull off.

Grayson comes off the court and throws her arms around me, tackling me to the ground. I laugh. Her excitement is contagious. “Did you see me? My serve was on fire!”

“I saw. Great job, Gray. I’m really proud of you.”

She rolls off me and lies in the grass. Coach Moyers walks over to us. “Great job today, ladies. You stepped up and did what we needed you to do.”

“Thanks, Coach,” Grayson and I say in unison, which only makes us giggle more.

Coach Moyers shakes his head. Sometimes I wonder if he dreads the start of the girls’ tennis season. Coaching a bunch of girls who are giggly one minute and PMSing the next can’t be easy for a middle-aged man.

“We totally need to celebrate!” Grayson squeezes my hand. “Let’s go out. The diner is open, and I’m starving. I want a huge slice of cheesecake.”

I look at Ash. He definitely needs some quality time together after the incident with Noah, but Gray needs me, too. I’m torn. Ash shrugs. “Let’s go to the diner.” He leans in and whispers, “But I get you to myself afterward.”

I kiss his cheek. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

He blushes. That’s the great thing about Ash. He has no clue how great he is. He’s not cocky. He doesn’t have to try to do the right thing. He’s just…perfect.

“You two aren’t going to be all touchy feely, are you?” Grayson whines.

Ash whips out his cell. “How about I text Tucker and have him meet us there?” Yup, he’s totally perfect.

Grayson’s eyes light up. “I’m going to the locker room to freshen up.” She gets up and stares at me like I should be moving, too. “Coming?”

“Oh, um, okay.” I squeeze Ash’s bicep while he texts Tucker. “Be right back.”

“I’ll be here.” He smiles and my heart melts. How can I want anyone but him? I must be losing my mind.

Gray and I walk to the locker room with our arms linked. “I can’t believe how totally awesome I feel!” Her voice is squeaky and high-pitched.

“You’re on a tennis high. Nice, right?”

“Nice? It’s incredible. My first varsity match and I take down the best team in the league.” Gray reenacts the final game of her match for me, letting go of my arm in order to pretend she’s swinging the racket. It’s cute how excited she is, and I can’t help but feel proud of her.

We head into the locker room, but someone grabs my arm from behind, pulling me into the trainer’s office between the girls’ and boys’ locker rooms. I’m about to protest when a hand slips over my mouth. Noah. I stare at him, noticing how my pulse is still racing even though I know who it is now.
Because
I know who it is. He lowers his hand and smiles at me.

“You’re still here?” I ask.

“Nah, you’re dreaming about me.” His dimple makes an appearance.

I cross my arms. “You think I dream about you?” I scoff, not at all meaning it, but he leans closer.

“Yes, I do.” His voice is barely a whisper, and it sends chills running down my back, arms, and legs.

I push him back, but not forcefully. Just lightly enough so he knows I don’t want him that close. “You’re crazy. You know that, right?”

“Am I?” He cocks an eyebrow. “I’ve never popped up in your dreams? Not even once?”

“I don’t remember my dreams.” Lie. I drop my arms and try to move away from the wall where he has me pinned, but he reaches for my right shoulder and starts massaging it. “What are you doing?” I ask, but I don’t stop him.

“You should ice after every match, practices too actually. And massage your shoulder. It will keep knots from forming.”

“Oh, so you’re just looking out for my well-being, not trying to cop a feel?” Where is this boldness coming from?

He smirks. “If I was trying to cop a feel, I wouldn’t be touching your shoulder.”

Now I step away. This is getting too uncomfortable. “I have to go. I have plans with Grayson and Ash.”

Noah nods. “Group thing like we had at the water park?”

Is he trying to equate what I have with Ash to whatever this is between him and me? “No. Only dinner is a group thing. Ash and I are hanging out alone after that.” Good. I’m being clear that I’m with Ash. This is what I need to do. Let Noah know that he and I can only be friends.

Except Noah smiles. Not the reaction I’m expecting. “He wasn’t too happy to see you in my arms after the match.”

“Put yourself in his shoes.”

“I’m not sure I want to.”

“What does that mean?” I narrow my eyes at him, waiting for an explanation.

“Sure, he’s dating you and gets certain…benefits because of it.” He steps toward me, brushing a stray hair out of my face. His touch gives me chills. “But, things can’t be all that good if you’re here with me now.”

I back away. “You dragged me in here. It’s not like I had a choice.”

“You always have a choice. I told you I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. You ran into my arms after the match. You could’ve walked right back out of this empty trainer’s office, but you didn’t. You don’t have to let me touch you like this.” He runs his finger down my cheek. “But you do. Because you like me.”

Holy crap. He’s right. I let him do all those things. I could stop him. I could make him leave me alone, but I’m not. “Noah, I—”

He leans in close so our lips are only inches apart. “If you love Ash so much, why are you hanging out with me? Why aren’t you telling me to go away? Why aren’t you going to stop me from kissing you right now?”

Chapter Ten

I freeze. His lips are moving in slow motion toward me. He’s giving me the chance to say no.
Say no! Say no!

“Noah.” That’s all I can manage.

He pulls away. My head leans back against the wall, and I close my eyes. What am I doing? I look at him, begging for answers. “Why didn’t you kiss me?” I’m not complaining that he didn’t do it. I just want to know
why
he didn’t do it. I mean, I didn’t exactly say no.

“I told you. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. You wouldn’t have stopped me. I think you would’ve even kissed me back. But that’s not how I want to kiss you. I want you to
want
to kiss me.”

What if I do? “I have to go.” I turn and run from the office, bumping right into Grayson.

“Ow! Watch my hair. I just fixed it.” She looks at me, the horror on my face registering. “Where were you? Are you okay?”

No, I’m not okay. I’m a mess. I’m falling apart. I’m a terrible person. “I went to ice my shoulder.” Great, now I’m lying to my best friend.

“Is it bothering you?”

“For a while now. Nothing major.”

She nods. “Maybe I should ice, too. Hang on a sec. Let me grab a bag for the car ride to the diner.”

“No!” I grab her arm. Noah’s still in there. If she sees him, she’ll know I wasn’t icing.

Her face scrunches in confusion. “What’s up with you?”

“I don’t want to keep Tucker waiting. He’s probably already at the diner.”

She smiles, forgetting my little outburst. “Eek!” Her shriek is ear-piercing. “Don’t want to keep him waiting too long.” She takes off, dragging me with her.

Ash has his car pulled up to the courts. “Tucker’s on his way.”

I hop in the front, and Grayson gets in the back seat.

“You’re still in uniform,” Ash says, eying her in the rearview mirror.

“I know. Tucker mentioned he thought our skirts were cute.”

“So what took you so long to get ready?”

Oh, Ash. Wrong question.

Grayson goes off on the primping rituals of the teenage girl. Ash looks to me for help, but I laugh. It’s too funny to intervene. Besides, laughing at Gray and Ash takes my mind off Noah and how close he came to kissing me. Was he right? Would I have let him do it? Would I have kissed him back? I don’t know, and the thought makes me sick to my stomach.

Ash reaches for my hand, lacing his fingers through mine. “You okay? You got quiet all of a sudden.”

“Yeah, I’m replaying a few things in my head.”

“Coach tells us we should replay the games in our heads, too. It helps you figure out what you did well and what you did wrong.”

Yeah, like how not pushing Noah away was wrong. I can’t find a single thing I did that was right. Maybe telling Noah I had plans with Ash tonight, but that seems so minor in comparison.

I’m barely there through dinner, not that anyone really notices with Grayson giving us the play by play of her match. Tucker says he bought a tennis video game and invites Grayson over to play it after we finish here. She’s all smiles.

We say our goodbyes, and Grayson goes with Tucker back to his house to play video games or whatever else they might do. I don’t really want to think about it.

“Want to go to the mountaintop again?” Ash asks.

Can I really pretend everything’s fine after what almost happened? Guilt is tearing at my insides. I didn’t cheat, but was Noah the reason why? It sounds crazy, but
he
stopped the kiss. He initiated it and stopped it from happening. I can’t let him affect me like this anymore. I have to set him straight. I won’t feel better until I do. “I’m not sure I’m feeling so great.”

“You’re not sure?” He glances at me before turning back to the road. “Was it something you ate?”

“No, I just don’t feel like myself.”

“You beat Kendra, didn’t you?”

“Kendall. Her name’s Kendall.”

“Right. She’s your toughest competition. You should be ready to celebrate.”

“I’m kind of tired. Wiped from the match.”

“You want me to take you home?” He couldn’t sound more disappointed.

I’m ruining everything. It doesn’t matter how I feel. I have to pull it together for Ash. “You know, you’re right. Let’s go do something.”

He smiles. “Great. What do you have in mind?”

“Any parties going on tonight?”

“Nah. We have school in the morning. But…” He makes a sharp left, and I have to grab the door handle to keep from sliding in my seat. “Sorry. Last minute decision.”

“Where are we going?”

“To play darts.” Ash and darts. Good thing I like to play.

“Cool, but where?”

“Liz’s house. She has three dartboards in her basement. It’s great for tournaments.”

My heart jumps to my throat. “Liz Mathews? The freshman?”

“Yeah. Why does it bug you that she’s a freshman? Do you have something against freshmen?”

Yeah, the way they steal my boyfriends. “How do you know she has three dartboards in her basement? How do you know where she lives?” Has he been to her house? I can’t help thinking of the way she looked at Ash at Jackson’s party. I wouldn’t doubt she invited him over, that she’s trying to hook up with him. She obviously didn’t give a damn about me when she was waving and batting her eyelashes at Ash.

He shrugs. “She told me.”

“You two talk a lot?” Is this my punishment for what’s going on with Noah? Am I going to lose Ash to Liz? Am I doomed to relive sophomore year with Derrick? Now I really do feel sick.

“A little at practice. She’s nice. She saw me playing darts at Jackson’s party and told me about her basement. She said I’m welcome anytime.”

I bet she said that. I’ve seen the way she looks at Ash, like she wants to devour him. My nails dig into my palms as I squeeze my hands into fists. “I don’t want to go to Liz’s house.”

“Why not? Meg, what’s going on?”

“Can you pull over?” I stare out my window, not wanting to look at him right now. Tears fill my eyes.

Ash pulls into the parking lot for the used tire shop. It’s closed, so we’re the only ones there. He cuts the engine and unhooks his seat belt. “Meg, look at me.” He gently takes my arm, tugging it toward him.

I turn, barely able to see him through the tears that are pooling in my eyes.

He pulls me to him, kissing the top of my head and stroking my hair. How can I even think Ash would cheat on me or be tempted by Liz? He loves me. He always puts me first.
I’m
the one screwing up. I’m the one who doesn’t deserve to be in this relationship. I cry harder, dotting his shirt with my tears. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’ll be okay.”