Perception (17 page)

THE BONFIRE WAS TOO HOT TO STAND TOO CLOSE
, but I’d slowly built up a tolerance to the heat, so if I backed away from it, the night air seemed too cold. So I did this dance. Two steps forward, two steps back, to keep comfortable while I waited for Mallory to return. I didn’t know where she would have gone. I told her I’d only be a minute.

“Hey!” a bubbly voice said as an arm draped around my shoulder.

It was Kendra, her hair pulled up into a high ponytail. She sipped from something in a brown paper bag.

“Have you seen Mallory?” I asked.

“No.” Kendra frowned and pulled her arm back, but knew better than to add her usual insulting statement about my friend.

“She was here just a few minutes ago but now —”

“Is Gabriel around?” Kendra interrupted.

“I haven’t seen him yet,” I said. I was surprised, too. He’d been so insistent on wanting to know “for sure” if I was coming to this or not. He even wanted to know what time and all the specifics.

“I need to talk to him about what time we’re going to the dance,” Kendra said. “I called out to him in the hallway at school, but he didn’t hear me.”

Or pretended not to hear
, I thought.

“I’ll tell him,” I said.

She put a hand on her hip and sighed. “I know you’re, like, forcing him to do this and everything, but he can at least pretend he’s not completely disgusted by me.”

“He’s not,” I said. “Not at all. He’s just going through some family stuff right now. He has a lot on his plate.”

“There you are.” Justin skidded up to me and gave me a little bump with his hip.

“Speaking of an overflowing plate,” Kendra said to me, her eyebrows raised, before walking off.

Justin looked at me in confusion.

“Ignore her,” I said.

“I always do,” he replied. His eyes lit back up as he changed the subject. “So, your first bonfire! How do you like it?”

“It’s fun,” I said. “Though I lost my date.”

His gaze dropped down.

“Mallory,” I said, clarifying.

He raised his finger in the air. “Ah, I forgot! I was just talking to her a minute ago. I went up to introduce myself. You know, since we’re going to the dance together and all.”

“Thanks again, by the way.”

“It’s no problem. She’s real nice.”

He seemed sincere and I was glad. I really wanted Mallory to have a good time, especially after what she’d been through.
I knew I could count on Justin to treat her well. He was never one to care whether a person was popular or not. Exhibit A … me.

“So where’s Mallory now?” I asked.

“She said she was going back to the car for a coat or something.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” I said, realizing I was hugging myself for warmth. “I’m going to catch up with her to get mine, too.”

“I’ll save you a cozy spot by the fire,” he called out.

I jogged toward the lot, my sneakers scratching against the grains of sand as my legs pumped. I wanted to catch up to Mallory before she reached the car so I wouldn’t have to make her double back. The sounds of the crowd and the roaring fire dimmed behind me until all I heard was my heavy breathing, my shoes pounding the sand, and … something else.

I paused, thinking I heard footsteps matching mine. I looked around, but saw only darkness. The fire was too far behind me, and the streetlamp of the parking lot too far ahead. I ran faster, kicking up sand as I sped along.

I caught up to Mallory, who was walking at a leisurely pace, in the parking lot. She spun around at the sound of my ragged breathing.

“Justin told me you were going to get your coat,” I said. I bent over a bit to catch my breath. “I want mine, too.”

“You ran all the way here?” Mallory said, surprised.

“Yeah.” I straightened and wiped my forehead with the back of my hand. “After that, I’m not even cold anymore.”

Mallory threw her head back in laughter as we reached the car. She popped the trunk and leaned in to grab her jacket.

“Mine’s in the backseat,” I said, waiting for her at the door.

“It’s unlocked.”

I opened the door and squinted as the interior light went on. I reached in and grabbed my brown coat, then pulled it out. But something else came with it.

“Whoops,” I said, glancing at the large manila envelope that had fallen to the ground. I bent down to grab it, but picked it up by the wrong end. Its contents spilled onto the asphalt.

“Oh, crap. I’m sorry, Mallory. I’ll pick all this up.”

“Pick what up?” her muffled voice responded.

I was glad she was busy riffling around in the trunk and hadn’t seen the mess I made. I hoped this wasn’t anything important.

My heart sank as I realized they were photographs. She’d probably agonized over getting all the right angles and lighting and all that stuff photographers care about and I’d gotten them all dirty.

I got down on my hands and knees, ready to carefully pile them back up and return them to the envelope, when the first one caught my eye.

It was me. A color photo of me trudging down the hill by the back of the school.

I picked up another. Me entering the woods.

Me in the woods.

Me walking down the street.

Me looking over my shoulder, fear etched on my face.

Mallory shut the trunk and stuffed her arms into her coat sleeves. “What are you doing on the ground?”

I stood in one swift motion and faced her. “Are these yours?”

She shook her head, looking at the mess on the ground. “What are they?”

“They’re pictures of me.”

Her eyes widened. I held out the photo I clutched in my hand.

She took it, shaking her head as her eyes scanned it. “This isn’t mine.”

“Then why were they in your car?”

Mallory’s worried eyes turned suddenly defiant. Her chin jutted out and her hands gripped her hips. “My car was unlocked, Clare.”

I didn’t know what to believe. Had someone put the pictures in her car to frame her? Or maybe I kept believing her excuses because I didn’t
want
her to be guilty. Maybe she’d been playing me all along. Everything kept circling back to her again and again.

Mallory’s eyes suddenly flicked from mine to somewhere behind me, and narrowed.

“Someone’s watching us,” she said in a low voice.

I turned around as I heard the distinct drag of a footstep. You can’t move in a beach parking lot without making noise. All the sand and gravel tracked over the pavement makes that impossible. But someone was trying to back
slowly away from us. Someone disappointed that he’d been caught.

“Come out!” I yelled.

I was so sick of this. Sick of the notes. The photographs. Suspecting everyone. Not trusting anyone. I wanted it to end.

My rising anger and frustration infused me with nerve. I marched through the lot, peeking behind each car I passed, screaming the whole way.

“Come on, coward! I know you put the pictures in the car!

“You want me so bad? Here I am!

“Face me!”

Mallory scurried along behind me, her face aghast at my display.

I banged my fist on the hood of a rusty old truck. “Let’s end this now!”

I turned a corner to the next aisle and found him huddled down. My feet skidded to a stop. Mallory caught up quickly and gasped.

“Cody?” Mallory said behind the hand she held over her mouth in surprise.

Cody stood slowly and straightened to his full height. “Yeah, it was me.” He puffed his chest out and stepped toward me, eyes flashing with disdain. “What are you gonna do about it?”

“Why?” I said, my mind still processing what was happening. “Why would you go through all this trouble?”

“It was Tiffany’s idea,” he said. “She noticed you were happy with your new freak friend.” He jerked his chin in
Mallory’s direction. “Tiff wanted to make your life a little more exciting. You should thank her.”

I wanted to hit something. I wanted to throw up. Every time I thought Tiffany couldn’t sink any lower, she proved me wrong. Even though Cody was standing there, confessing, I still couldn’t believe it.

“You guys did all this just to … break Mallory and me up?”

He shrugged. That one movement had never seemed so cold and heartless on any other person before.

“Tiffany likes to play with you.” His voice was full of condescension. “You’re like her little toy.”

My fingernails bit into my palms as I squeezed my fists tight. I hated being manipulated. Tiffany had pulled my strings and I’d danced. I filled with anger, desperate to lash out. “You would know,” I said to Cody. “You’re her favorite toy of all.”

His face reddened and he took a long stride toward me. “What’s that?”

My eyes gleamed with the knowledge that I’d hit him in his weak spot. “Tiffany gives you all these orders and you do every … single … thing she asks. And what do you get in return? Did she ask your ugly ass to the dance? Hell, no. She asked Brendan.”

Cody’s body tensed, the veins in his neck bulging, but I continued. Once the words started, I couldn’t stop them.

“Did you really think you’d ever have a chance with her?” A laugh escaped from my mouth. “She has no feelings for you and never will. She uses you. She strings you along. Everyone knows it. Everyone sees it. They laugh about it behind your
back. I bet
she
even laughs about it. How pathetic you are. Her shadow. Her little puppy dog, always nipping at her heels, begging for scraps of attention.”

A sudden storm of anger erupted from Cody. He leapt forward, grabbing my arms and pinning them to my sides. He pushed me back against a truck. I yelped in pain as my head hit metal.

Mallory yelled, “Hey, stop!” and pulled at Cody’s sleeve. He shrugged her off like she was a fly. Just a light push and Mallory was stumbling backward.

Cody turned his attention back to me. His entire body was pressed against me, so hard it hurt to breathe. I struggled uselessly to free my arms. His breath smelled sour and rotten, and I twisted my head to the side to try to escape from the scent and sight of him.

Time seemed to be going in slow motion. I heard a vague rushing sound. I closed my eyes, hoping Mallory would be stronger this time.

And suddenly, Cody was torn away from me. The force of it made me stagger a few steps. Mallory caught me in her arms and pulled me back with her. I didn’t understand what was going on. If I was with her, who was rolling on the ground with Cody?

My eyes adjusted as Mallory’s grip tightened on my forearm. It was Gabriel. Pounding the living hell out of Cody. Gabriel was straddling him, and he held Cody’s shirt bunched up in one hand as the other rained down with punch after punch. Each one accentuated by a word.

“Never!

“Touch!

“Her!

“Again!”

After a few moments of standing frozen, staring at the almost surreal sight before me, I jumped into action.

“Gabriel,” I called, moving toward him.

He stopped at the sound of my voice. He stood and backed up, his eyes never leaving Cody’s crumpled frame. Blood trickled from Gabriel’s knuckles, but I didn’t know if it was his or Cody’s since Cody had a good amount leaking out of his nose. Cody rolled to the side, cradling his arm and groaning.

“My arm,” he moaned. “You broke my arm.”

“Consider yourself lucky,” Gabriel seethed, his face darkened in anger. He leaned over Cody one last time, his fists opening and closing. “If you even
look
at Clare again … I’ll do much worse.”

THERE WAS NO SECRET ADMIRER
.

There was no stalker.

It was just another one of Tiffany’s little plans to ruin my life. Just another prank to fill her time.

The truth hadn’t even really settled in until I’d spoken it out loud to Gabriel last night, as he washed his bloodied hand in the seawater. He’d already known. He’d been watching all night, from a distance. He had a feeling the stalker was going to make a move at the bonfire. That’s why he wanted to know when I was getting there, who I was going with, and all the other details. He wanted to be there, waiting. To protect me. To put an end to this.

And now it was over, and my emotions bounced all over the place like a rubber ball. I felt stupid for letting Tiffany get to me again. I felt angry for all the time and energy I’d wasted worrying about some obsessed person who’d never existed.

But then, after I got all that out of my system, my mind settled, and I was happy. There was no reason for me to be afraid. I was free.

Free to go anywhere I wanted.

Now I leaned closer to the mirror, applying eyeliner. I’d styled my mass of curls into a loose upsweep and left a few ringlets cascading down here and there. For all the time it took me, it looked very carefree. I liked that, though. And if there was ever a time to put a little more effort into your hair and makeup, it was for something like this.

A homecoming dance.

I stepped over to my closet and opened the door to take a look in the full-length mirror. The green dress was beautiful. Simple and classy, yet clingy in the right places to give me curves where I barely had them.

Wearing the dress made me feel a little bit like I’d won in this whole scenario. Instead of bending to the will of my so-called stalker’s wishes, now it seemed like I was rubbing Cody and Tiffany’s noses in their failure. They’d tried to terrify me, to destroy my friendship with Mallory, and ruin my life. Sure, they’d succeeded in scaring me here or there, but the rest of their plan had gone bust. So I’d wear the dress. I’d wear it proudly. I might even thank Cody for dropping the cash.

I slipped into a pair of strappy heels, grabbed my little white purse, and headed into the hallway. Perry’s door was open, so I peeked my head in.

“Whatcha doin’?” I asked lightheartedly, hoping the tone would rub off on him.

He was bent over his laptop, staring at the screen while gnawing on his thumbnail. “Just trying again. It’s bothering me.”

I stepped into his room. “What is?”

“Ashley,” he said, his eyes never leaving the screen. “I just
can’t figure it out. She said she was famous, but if she was she’d be Googleable. It doesn’t make any sense. She’s somehow related to the Sierra Waldman thing. I know it.” His fingers hovered over the keys like it was a Ouija board that was going to start speaking to him. “But I’m missing something.”

Guess I wasn’t the only Fern with a growing sense of responsibility. “Why are you even looking into it? What are you trying to be — Perry Fern, Sassy Boy Detective?”

He smirked and glanced up at me like he was about to snap off a snarky retort, but then stopped. With a surprised little smile, he said, “You’re going to homecoming? Good for you. Who did you ask?”

“I’m going alone.”

“Ah,” he said. “You waited too long.”

I shuffled my feet and fiddled with my purse, not wanting to get into the details. “Something like that.”

If I told him I’d set up Gabriel and Justin with other dates, he’d want to know why. Then I’d have to tell him it was because I’d been scared to go to the dance because I thought I had a dangerous stalker. At which point he’d get angry that I didn’t keep him in the loop. And he’d realize it was because I didn’t want to burden him with it and he’d feel like a failure as a brother. And when he found out the whole stalker thing was orchestrated by Tiffany, he’d feel even guiltier. He was the one who threw gasoline on her hellfire last year when they hooked up and he blew her off after.

So I kept quiet.

“What are you doing tonight?” I asked.

“Shooting zombies.” He motioned toward his video game controller. “Maybe I’ll call Nate, see if he wants to join in.”

“Is he coming home again?” I said, one hand on my hip. “Does he even go back to college every Sunday night or does he just pretend that’s what he does and he’s really skulking around town?”

I was joking, but Perry’s face turned serious. “He comes home because he’s worried about his best friend, the shut-in. I’m ruining his life on top of mine.”

My heart cinched. I actually felt physical pain inside my chest at the sight of my brother like this. “When was the last time you tried leaving the house?”

“Don’t ask.”

Mom’s footsteps on the stairs caused his eyes to widen, and he motioned for me to leave. I entered the hallway as she reached the landing, carrying a laundry basket. At the sight of me, she put the basket down and clasped her hands together.

Before she could start, I said, “I know, I know. I’m going with a group. I’ll be in a gymnasium with hundreds of other people.”

Mom frowned. “I wasn’t going to nag you. I was going to say you look absolutely dazzling.”

She stepped closer and fingered a ringlet of my hair. “I probably overreacted to Sierra Waldman’s death,” she said softly.

I arched an eyebrow. “Ya think?”

“Don’t be a smart-ass, dear, just let your mother apologize. I’m still not letting you work with the police at all.” She
paused and smiled sheepishly. “But I might have been a little overboard with all that talk about leaving town. Thanks for putting up with me.”

I didn’t blame her. As much as I resented her sometimes controlling, overprotective, mother-lion shtick, I understood it. I felt a twinge of guilt for having hid the stalker thing from her, but it had all worked out for the best. She’d have moved us somewhere else and listened in on my thoughts constantly until she drove herself insane. And for what? There hadn’t been a real stalker after all.

I leaned over, two inches taller than her in my heels, and kissed the top of her head. “I love you, Mom.”

She looked up at me, all glassy-eyed with gratefulness, and I was reminded how one seemingly insignificant affectionate act from me could mean the world to her. I vowed to do it more often.

A horn beeped outside.

“That’s my ride.”

Mom nodded, still all smiles from our little moment, and gave me one last squeeze. I carefully descended the staircase, unsure of my balance in my new shoes, my hand tightly gripping the railing.

I took the porch steps as carefully as I’d taken the stairs. Justin and Mallory waved from the front of the car. I hadn’t felt weird earlier when Mallory offered to drive me. After all, they weren’t on a real date. But now, sliding into the backseat, I felt a little uncomfortable being the third wheel in her hoop ride. Like I was interrupting something.

I laid my purse on the seat next to me and buckled my
belt. “You guys look great,” I said, though I hadn’t really gotten a good look yet.

Justin glanced over his shoulder. “You, too.”

“I’m glad you ended up coming,” Mallory said, carefully backing out of the driveway. “It all worked out.”

I was actually kind of excited to go to the dance dateless and just have a good time. I shelved any romantic thoughts about Justin and Gabriel, any vengeful thoughts about Tiffany and Cody, and my desire to investigate the Waldman case. I wanted just one night of mindless, harmless, high school fun.

After five more minutes of awkward small talk, Mallory eased the car into a spot toward the back of the packed school parking lot. I peeled myself off the seat, closed the door, and rearranged the hem of my dress. A few hand-holding couples were making their way through the dimly lit lot toward the open doors of the school gym.

Mallory came around from the driver’s side, wearing that indigo dress from Lorelei’s. Her hair was pinned up, with only the one blue streak hanging straight down and matching the hue of her dress perfectly.

“Damn,” I said. “You look fantastic.”

“Shut up,” Mallory said, blushing.

“No, you do. Am I right, Justin?”

Justin had been staring at me, but now he turned to Mallory and nodded eagerly. “Clare’s right. You really do.”

Justin didn’t look half bad himself. His father was the mayor, so he had to dress up for town events now and then. But even though I’d seen him like this before, that didn’t take
anything away from how handsome he looked in his dark gray suit with an already loosened blue tie.

“Shall we?” he asked, holding both arms out. Mallory took one, giggling, while I took the other.

I’d never been to homecoming before and was expecting to see an empty dance floor and nervous packs of boys and girls lining the perimeter, wringing their hands. Wrong.

The gym floor was a sea of bodies in motion, feet shuffling, hips swaying. More people were dancing than standing. Since it was mid-October, they’d gone with a Halloween theme:
Gettin’ Witchy With It
. I’d call it tacky, but it kind of felt like home. Fake cobwebs were strewn here and there. Lamps with black-light bulbs were strategically placed near glow-in-the-dark decorations. A full moon hung from the ceiling, and a smoke machine pumped out fog from the corner. Couples could get their photos taken before a backdrop of a graveyard.

I pointed toward the photographer. “You guys should do that now before there’s a line.”

“No, no, we don’t have to,” Mallory said, though I knew she probably wanted to. It was her first homecoming, too.

“Of course we do,” Justin piped up. “I’ll drag you over there if I have to.”

He gave my hand a light squeeze as he led Mallory away. I smiled widely. I couldn’t have been happier about how the night was going. Justin was being so cool about everything. Mallory was having fun. Maybe I should start having some fun, too.

I worked my way through the crowd, searching for Gabriel, but didn’t find him. I glanced at the groups of kids moving to the music on the dance floor, some more awkwardly than others. The music wasn’t really my type, kind of soulless, but good for dancing. I tentatively joined a circle of other junior girls, wondering how this was going to go, but before I knew it, I was jumping up and down, yelling out the lyrics with them.

After a couple songs, my neck was damp with sweat and my feet were killing me. I really should have worn heels that were already broken in. I wandered away from my little dance crew and headed toward the hallway where the closest water fountain was, hoping to quench my suddenly overpowering thirst. But as I reached the door and looked through the little glass window, what I saw constricted my throat so tightly I could barely swallow.