Penult (52 page)

“
When the time comes, I can
spell Ubaldo on the watch.”

“
Nah. We’re all set for
tonight,” said Olivier. “Why don’t you concentrate on getting some
rest? But don’t you fade on us now. We already lost one
gal.”

“
Lost?” My heart thumped.
“Karla?”

He shook his head. “One of the
Frelsians. “She faded right after we landed. Hemisoul. She knew the
risks. Who knows, maybe she’s a short-timer and we’ll still be
hanging out when she gets back.”

The night clamped down. With no moon,
and just a smattering of those so-called stars, it became difficult
to discern Yaqob and Olivier’s outlines against the
shrubs.

“
It’d be nice to have a
fire,” I said.

“
No fire,” said Yaqob. “No
glow roots. Our enemies’ beachhead lies just beyond the
bay.”

“
Just saying. It would be
nice.”

A man came thrashing and stumbling
through the underbrush.

“
Yo?” said Olivier. “Who’s
there?”

The man chuckled. “I’m fucking
lost.”

“
That you, Jasper?” said
Olivier. “Follow my voice.”

The man called Jasper pushed through a
thicket of shrubbery and settled down beside us in the sand. “Hey
all. I’m just back from the beach.”

This was the guy who had been joking
with Karla. I recognized his voice.

“
How goes it?” said
Yaqob.

“
Well, no sign of any
scouts. Spotted a couple falcons cruising way out by the point at
sunset. But things are quiet.”

“
Jasper, you ever met
James?” said Olivier. “He’s the man-shaped smudge to your
right.”

We tried to shake and missed each
other’s hands in the darkness. After a couple of flubs, we
successfully completed the ritual.

“
Ah! The James. Nice to
meet you finally. I’m a fellow Lutheran, in case you didn’t know.
Though, I didn’t follow Luther when he went back under.”

“
Lutheran?”

“
That’s what the Frelsians
have taken to calling us underworld types,” said Olivier. “As if
they didn’t hail from there, too. Like we’re disciples of Luther or
something.”

“
It’s just a shorthand
nickname,” said Jasper. “I don’t mind it. I grew up Catholic
myself.”

“
Me too,” said
Olivier.

“
I’ve … always been an
atheist,” I said. “Still am.”

“
Still? After all you’ve
seen here?” said Olivier.

I weighed my response carefully. I
didn’t want to offend anyone.

“
To tell you the truth, I
can’t make heads or tails out of everything I’ve seen. If there is
a creator or creators, they’ve got some serious problems. They’ve
given me no grounds for determining they’re someone … or something
… worthy of worship.

“
You can’t deny their
power,” said Jasper.

I scratched an unseen circle in the
sand with the point of my sword.

“
Why not?”

“
Listen to him! Such a
heretic,” said Olivier.

“
The thing is … from what I
can tell, there’s nobody in charge of things here. Nobody who cares
what happens.”

“
Why should they? We’re
just garbage,” said Olivier. “We’re the lost.”

“
What do you
mean?”

“
In case you haven’t
noticed, this ain’t exactly Heaven. Our souls are pretty much …
damned.”

“
But why? What did we do?
We’re not bad people.”

“
We refused a gift, for one
thing. We gave up on life, did we not?”

“
I did at one point, but …
that was a long time ago. I’ve … changed.”

“
Too late. You can’t return
a gift and expect a second chance … unless you steal it
back.”

“
You’re saying this is
hell?”

“
Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe
something in between. Maybe it’s just the Liminality.”

“
Whatever this place is,
who the fuck is minding the shop?”

“
Nobody,” said
Olivier.

“
It wasn’t always so,” said
Yaqob.

“
Oh?”

“
Something happened. Before
my time. Long before. There was a … Caretaker. But something
happened and the Caretaker is gone.”

“
Dead?”

“
Gone or lost? How? I don’t
know. But the Lords of Penult, the Erelim, they came to fill the
void. They believe they follow the Maker’s wishes. They believe
Caretaker and the Maker are one and the same. They believe they are
blessed. But … they delude themselves. They are no better than us.
They are not virtuous, smart or just. They came first to the
surface. That is all. They discovered Weaving first. Before us
latecomers. Even the Old Ones are latecomers compared to them. But
being first makes them believe they are the Chosen and that this is
their Promised Land.”

“
But I thought … don’t some
souls go straight to Penult … even now?”

“
Petros implied as much,”
said Olivier. “I’m not sure I believe it. They’re tapped into some
flow, that’s for sure. Otherwise they wouldn’t be wasting so many
Cherubim. To be honest, I think they’re parasites. They’ve found a
way to move between the lower realms and take what they need.
Siphon off souls, modify them to do their dirty work. You saw them
in the Deeps.”

“
How many realms are
there?”

“
More than what we’ve seen,
I’m pretty damn sure,” said Olivier. “Petros wouldn’t say. Just
they not all were as wonderful as this place.”

“
Why so many?”

“
Why did Dante describe so
many levels of Hell?” said Olivier. “To punish us, for various
crimes and misdemeanors, I guess. Whoever … whatever used to drive
it fell asleep at the wheel. So now the lunatics are running the
asylum. Pardon me for mixing my metaphors, but that’s just how I
see it.”

“
Shit,” I said. “That’s all
fucked up.”

“
Yes. It is bad,” said
Yaqob. “But … maybe someday … the Maker … or the Caretaker … will
return.”

I stared out into the darkness and
thought about all those churches and holy men and women around the
globe preaching and practicing their faiths with a level of
certainty that seemed outrageously pretentious. The night ahead was
only going to get darker and lonelier for me.

“
Sure would be nice to have
a fire,” I said.

“
No fire,” said Yaqob. “I
told you.”

“
Nope. Sure way to get our
asses whooped in the morning.”

“
Just saying it would be
nice,” I said.

“
Get some rest,” said Yaqob
who thrashed in the sand, burrowing himself a shallow den into the
side of a dune. “Soon we fight.”

***

The forest roared with crickets. Yaqob
was already snoring. I did not expect to sleep much knowing we had
the enemy within walking distance and that we were flying across a
strait to attack a hostile island in the morning.

A cool wind came off the water. The
sand felt damp and clammy. I kicked and scuffed around, trying to
make myself more comfortable. What I would give to be back in a
comfy bed in Stromness. If only I could fade at will. With my luck
my next one would hit me in Penult and I’d be stranded there with
all those killer angels.

“
Hey James,” whispered
Olivier. “What’s the deal with that girl of yours? Why aren’t you
with her? Why aren’t you two talking?”

I reflected a moment before
answering.

“
She’s … not my
girl.”

“
Why? What
happened?”

“
She manipulated me. Made
me think she was kidnapped … or worse. Just to get me over
here.”

“
And that’s a bad
thing?”

I sighed loudly. “We could have had a
life together. A good life. But … no. She never even gave it a
shot! I was in prison. I get out. We finally get together and …
five days later … she leaves me. She’s not kidnapped. Not murdered,
thank God. She just ran off without even leaving a note. I mean,
what the fuck?”

“
It worked, didn’t it? I
mean, you’re here, aren’t you. And I, for one, am grateful to have
you here. Everyone—Frelsians. Dusters. Old Ones—we all respect you.
Having you with us has been great for morale. I’m very sorry that
you didn’t want to come here, but … now that you did … you just
might be the difference between our complete destruction … and our
survival.”

“
I think you’re vastly
overestimating me. All of you. If Karla wanted to come back here so
badly she should have left me out of it and come back on her
own.”

“
How? You wanted her to off
herself?”

“
No, but … that’s basically
what she wanted for us. She wanted us to be Freesouls. Slam the
door on life altogether.”

“
Not telling you what to
do, kid, but If I were you, I’d cut her some slack. She’s Luther’s
grandchild, isn’t she? From what I hear, she had a rough time of it
growing up. Can you blame her, being disenchanted with this life
thing? I mean, look at us. We’ve all been suicidal. That’s the
ticket here, isn’t it?”

“
I got over it. Why
couldn’t she? That family stuff was all behind her. We had nothing
in our way. We had the whole world to ourselves. Fucking all
expenses paid. Why couldn’t she give it a chance?”

“
Listen James. Some of us
just never fit in … over … in that other place. Life … if what you
want to call it that. Some lives start off fine and go bad near the
end. Some turn to shit in the middle. Others of us were never even
meant to be born and we realize it young. For those of us who feel
that way, the Liminality is good news. Maybe Karla’s one of those.
She’s meant for this place. It might be nothing personal. Didn’t
mean you had to follow her.”

“
I fucking hate this
fucking shithole,” I said through my teeth.

“
But here you are. Go
figure.”

“
Once we do this raid. I
ain’t ever coming back here again. I am done.”

“
That’s fine,” said
Olivier. “If you can get happy and stay happy, the more power to
you.”

Chapter 56:
Rendezvous

Tree crickets wailed and droned in
cycles that rose and fell, sometimes meshing, sometimes clashing
with the slosh of the waves. Yaqob’s snoring was just as loud but
much less predictable. His throat would seize and he would gag as
if he were being strangled, before forcing out a raspy rumble like
Harley Davidson with a rusted out muffler.

“
Are you sure he’s okay? I
mean, he’s not gonna stop breathing on us, is he?”

“
He’s fine,” assured
Olivier. “A little sleep apnea never hurt anybody.”

“
Should we … roll him on
his side or something?”

“
Yeah right.” Olivier
chuckled. “That’ll go over real well. Sometimes, kid, you just
gotta let sleeping dogs lie.”

Yaqob fell silent. The silence dragged
on. He had to be turning blue by this point. And then he erupted,
expelling all the stale air in his lungs in one huge gasp, before
rattling in a fresh load.

”
I’m sorry, but that just
does not sound healthy.”

“
It’s nothing new. He
always snores like this,” said Olivier. “My hooch was across the
courtyard from his in New Axum. Coming from the Deeps, where
breathing is optional, this is music to my ears.

“
Music.”

Out of the darkness, a hand clamped
onto my shoulder. I jerked around and lunged for my sword, grasping
it blade-first, lucky that Victoria’s transformation had dulled
it.

“
Stop. It is only me,
Ubaldo. I am back from watch.”

My heart was pounding in a panic. He
could just as well have been a Cherub coming to slit my
throat.

Ubaldo settled down beside us on the
sand, his body a dark pool in the sandy glade, lit only by the
subtle glint of star light.

“
You had no problem finding
us,” said Olivier.

“
Thanks to
Yaqob.”

“
See? Isn’t this a
problem?” I said. “Shouldn’t we muzzle him or
something?”

“
Why?” said Ubaldo.
“Pennies never roam on foot after dark. Though, a falcon did come
down the shore after the sun went down. Returning late from patrol,
must be.”

“
They spot our camp?” said
Olivier.

“
I don’t believe so. They
did not deviate from their course. Probably in a hurry to return to
their beach head.”

“
We were lucky they came by
late,” said Olivier. “Any light and they for sure would have
spotted our bugs.”

“
Any sign of our scouts?” I
said.

“
No,” said
Ubaldo.

“
Man, they’re way overdue,”
said Olivier. “That’s not a good sign.”

“
So what do we do? Wait
here another day?”

“
Nah. We can’t hang around
here. Too risky,” said Olivier. “Looks like we cross over blind at
first light. We need to run that by Yaqob, of course, but I’m
pretty sure he’ll agree.”