Penthouse of pleasure - uncertain desire (German Edition) (21 page)

Phew. Thank God!

But his electronic toys are something else. I see various vibro- eggs amongst other things.

No, I shake my head and close the room again. I don’t really want to know what all that stuff is. I’ll let him surprise me. I love Liam’s way of rattling me with his toys. Let him continue just like that.

I go to bed and snooze a little. I want to be rested when I meet Nicole tomorrow afternoon and see Liam again in the evening. Tomorrow promises to be exciting...

Saturday afternoon. I’m sitting in the subway and try to read to pass the time. But I can’t really concentrate. I’ve already read that last sentence ten times over. It’s not as if the book is taxing
.
My thoughts are just elsewhere. I can’t think about anything but the imminent meeting with Nicole. Fifteen more minutes and I’ll be at the agreed venue.

Before I set out of, I checked my emails again. She didn’t cancel. Hopefully she’ll show up so.

I can’t wait to see what she’s like. How does she look? Very pretty, I bet.

I stifle a yawn. I didn’t sleep very well last night. I had a pretty wild dream featuring a chase and an orgy. My subconscious seems to have problems with my new life and to work through it all in my dreams. I don’t blame it. My new life really is quite strange.

The subway stops and I get off. The art museum is right opposite the train station on the other side of the road. I can see the café from here. It’s on the first floor of the building and accessible from the street as well as the museum. A large glass front provides someone sitting right at the window with a perfect overview. Without a doubt, that’s where Nicole is sitting, watching out for me, if she’s already arrived. I would do the same. I squint my eyes and try to spot a pretty woman sitting at a table by herself. But the café is too far away and I’m blinded by the sun, so I can’t really see a thing. 

With one of my hands, I shield my eyes from the sun and cross the road. And then I suddenly recognize her: a pretty, young woman with long auburn hair sitting on her own, staring intently out the window. It must be Nicole! 

Spontaneously, I wave to her. She reacts immediately with a jerk.

Definitely Nicole! Jesus, she’s a bundle of nerves. Let’s just hope she doesn’t abscond through the back exit.

I walk over to the café as fast as I can. I’m nearly tempted to run, but manage to stop myself. I’m not going to achieve anything if I attract the other people’s attention and Nicole does a runner. This is my one chance.

A little out of breath, I step into the place and look for her. Only a few of the tables are occupied. Most people must still be visiting the museum. I heave a sigh of relief when I see the auburn-haired woman still at her table by the window.

Relax, Kate, I think and walk towards her.

The closer I get, the more I frown. From a distance Nicole looked very pretty and well groomed, but up close her clothes seem just carelessly thrown together. The green sweater clashes badly with her olive-colored pants and her hair could do with a wash. When she looks up at me, I see dark rings under her eyes. What the hell happened to her, I wonder.

“Nicole?” I ask.

She nods. “Hi!” Her voice sounds tired. “Won’t you sit down?” She points to a vacant chair.  

I sit down opposite her, glad that she doesn’t make a move to shake hands, because my hands are sweaty and trembling with all the excitement. I place them firmly on my thighs so Nicole doesn’t notice.

“Thanks for coming,” I start.

“My therapist advised me against it, but I couldn’t help myself. I just had to meet you.” Her voice is so quiet, I find it difficult to hear her properly. 

“Your therapist?” I sound a little out of breath. 

”Yes, my therapist. I called her after our conversation. She didn’t consider it wise for me to see you. But I had to.” Nervously, she pushes some stray hair from her face.

I stare at her, baffled. What’s this all about? “You told her about me?” I ask.

“Of course!” she replies as if that went without saying. “Don’t worry, she’s professionally obliged to maintain clients’ confidentiality.”

“Please forgive my directness,” I hesitate, “but why are you in therapy?”

For a few seconds, she doesn’t say anything and just stares at her feet. “I’m a sex addict and suffer from severe depression!”

Jesus Christ, I think. The woman is totally off her rocker.

“I agreed to move into the penthouse because I thought the experience might cure me. But everything only got a lot worse since then,” she whispers and sounds as if she’s about to burst into tears. “Those men are evil! First they give you everything and then they drop you like a hot potato.”

“But you knew that your time with them would be limited,” I observe.

For the first time, she looks straight at me. “How long do you live in the apartment?” she wants to know while she continues to look right into my eyes.

“A week,” I say cautiously.

“Ha!” she smirks. “You have no idea what you’re talking about so. I’ve thought about it a lot and I believe that the men always operate in a similar way. The first week they’re rarely all home at the same time and one of them looks after you more than the others. Who is it with you? Alex? Or Liam?”

I stare at her slightly dumbfounded. Does she actually believe the guys have a set schedule?

“I’ve not seen much of Alex. I like Liam a lot, but Marcus is the one who is at home the most,” I tell her.

Funnily enough she seems to be happy with my answer. I detect a hint of a smile on her face. For one short moment she looks really pretty. But nearly instantly she’s all gloomy again.

I wonder what she was thinking about. It nearly seems as if she’s glad that I haven’t spent much time with Alex yet. Why?

A waiter comes over to take our order. We briefly interrupt our bizarre conversation. I order a latte macchiato and Nicole a glass of rosé. “I need some alcohol right now,” she says.

We wait until our drinks arrive before we continue the conversation.

“With me it was Alex,” Nicole says. “During the first week I spent a lot of time with him. They poison you really slowly!”

“I believe that whoever is at home takes care of the woman. I don’t think they have a system,” I tell her and then ask her one of the questions that interest me the most: “You replied to one of their ads, didn’t you? What motivated you to do that?” 

“You’ve no idea what it’s like being a sex addict,” she informs me and nervously nibbles at her napkin. You continuously feel an inner void you can’t fill. That emptiness makes you try more and more extreme things. That’s why I’m always on the lookout for offbeat adventures. The ad spoke to me directly. The moment I try something new, the emptiness disappears for a short while. That’s what happened when I lived in the penthouse. It had been a long time since I had felt as well as I did in my four weeks with Marcus, Liam and Alex. But then everything was worse than before. Much worse! It’s been five months and I’ve still not gotten over it. I sleep badly, have hardly any appetite and feel even emptier than ever before. I miss the men, especially Alex. I miss him a lot! I don’t know what to do anymore. If it wasn’t for my therapist, who knows, I may have topped myself by now.”

Nicole’s words shock me. It seems as if she’s seriously fallen in love with Alex. I remember our short date and his intensive kiss. Just one afternoon with him was already slightly disturbing – I can easily imagine that the sensitive Nicole was like putty in his hands.

How mean!

The boys should have realized that there’s something wrong with Nicole.

Suddenly, I feel sorry for her. “Couldn’t you still continue seeing Alex?”

“Don’t you think I tried? He wasn’t interested in me any more after I moved out. None of them were. You have no idea how influential those men are. If you break their rules, they destroy you! They must never find out that we met! I’m only here to warn you. You should move out immediately. Before it’s too late!”

I’m torn. On the one hand I believe there’s a grain of truth in what Nicole told me. On the other she strikes me as extremely volatile. She’s worked herself up about something and involuntarily fell in love. Besides, she appears to suffer from paranoia. How could the men possibly harm me? Right, I’ve signed a contract, but it’s not as if that’s a legally binding document. It’s only there for the sexual stimulus, or is it? 

I notice Nicole getting restless. Before she decides to disappear again, I ask her an important question: “Do you have any information about Liam, Marcus and Alex’s private life? I’d love to know more about those three!”

“Oh, no!” She’s horrified. “You’re not allowed to ask them anything personal. It’s against the rules!”

Irritated, I roll my eyes. Nicole’s such a wuss. I thought she would be tougher. If all their girls are like that, it’s no wonder that my roomies find it surprising that I don’t simply put up with everything. “But talking to Mary was also against the rules!” I throw in.

“I know. But I had to help her. She slipped right in front of my eyes. I couldn’t have just left her there. But it was a mistake to keep seeing her. And giving her my number. I actually shouldn’t have met you either. Oh, God, when Alex here’s about this, he’ll be so disappointed. I should go!”

If anyone is disappointed here, it’s me, I think. I had hoped for some answers. Instead Nicole only unburdened herself of her conspiracy theories. The therapist might have been right. Nicole shouldn’t have met me. She’s worked herself into a frenzy and seeing me doesn’t help. 

“I won’t say a I thing,” I promise. “I’d only compromise myself if I would.”

“You should move out,” she stresses again. “You should move out before all three of them start spending time with you and you have to ‘report for duty’.” 

“What do you mean by ‘duty’?” I ask. 

“Oh, God, you haven’t even read the contract properly. You are so clueless. I don’t want to be responsible for you feeling as bad after it’s all over as I do now. You don’t know what you’re dealing with. Move out while you still can!”

I shake my head when I watch Nicole leave. She’s rushing down the street and keeps looking over her shoulder like she’s convinced she’s being followed. We parted quite abruptly and she begged me never to contact her again, or if, only in an absolute emergency. Whatever she meant by emergency...

What a waste of time! I’ve learned basically nothing new.  Of course, I could have told her that I do actually know a few personal things about Marcus and Alex. But it wouldn’t have done any good. She seems really unstable and my information wouldn’t have helped her. She still hasn’t managed to get over moving out of the apartment. 

But I will manage alright, won’t I? 

I won’t have a problem moving out again and living a normal life again. Or will I?

Although, or even more because I’ve no experience with situations like this. Or?

And their commune arrangement isn’t the guys’ little psycho game to destroy women or is it?

Fuck, I shouldn’t have seen Nicole. Doubts that have been lingering in the back of my mind are now starting to haunt me. Like little pinpricks to my brain.

Didn’t I tell you that the whole thing is totally sick?
says my head.
Be careful you don’t end up like Nicole.

Bullshit,
says my libido.
You’re having the time of your life. The thing with Andrew was terrible, but this isn’t. This is nothing but lovely.
 

All that tension and deliberation gives me a headache. Luckily there’s a drugstore at the train station. I buy some aspirin and wait for it to work. My chat with Nicole lasted less than three quarters of an hour. Hopefully I’ll make it back home before Liam does.  

“…The first week they’re rarely all home at the same time and one of them looks after you more than the others
.
...” 

Could Nicole be right after all? Do the guys have a system? No, it can’t be. Marcus and Liam have both spent a lot of time with me. Although I found my time with Liam less tense. Besides, I won’t fall in love with either of them. Or will I? I’m still not over the whole Andrew disaster. 

I’m so preoccupied with myself and my thoughts that the trip back seems much shorter.

When I stand outside the front door, I briefly consider ringing Mary’s bell to ask her how she rates Nicole’s mental state. But I decide against it. What good would it do?

This time, I’ve been clever. I made Marcus give me the key. I now use it to unlock the door. I step into the elevator and push the button for the top floor. Against my will, I have to smile. I guess I’ll never be able to ride an elevator again without remembering my first hot sexual encounter with Liam. Have I been ‘poisoned’ after all, as Nicole called it? And what did she mean by ‘reporting for duty’? I should really read the contract properly again. I pensively unlock the door.

“Where have you been?”

I’m startled. I didn’t expect Liam home so early. Shit!

He’s standing in the hall, hands on his hips and looks at me expectantly.

“You’re back already?” I mutter.

“Yes, I wanted to surprise you. But you weren’t here. So, where were you?” „

“I, I we... went for a walk,” I stammer, cursing myself. I hadn’t expected that Liam might get here before me. My excuse sounds pretty lame. 

“Are you sure?” Liam comes closer, places a hand under my chin and forces me to look at him. 

And I’m such a lousy liar. Darn!

“I needed some fresh air,” I tell him. That’s not exactly a lie.

“Right. And where did you go?” Liam looks at me searchingly.

“I strolled through the streets and then I sat down on a wall and watched the birds,” I reply and neatly weave yesterday’s walk into the story. 

I’m not sure if Liam believes me, but he doesn’t probe any further.

“Don’t I get a welcome home kiss?” he asks with arched eyebrows. 

I’d planned on first telling him that I was quite upset over his sudden disappearance. But he’s caught me off guard and I don’t get a chance to reproach him. It wouldn’t be wise anyway because then he may just ask me again where I went. Right now it’s better to distract him.

So I let my purse slide from my shoulder, wrap my arms around him, stand up on my toes and kiss him on the mouth.

He grips my hair, holds my head and kisses me so passionately I can hardly breathe. I respond in kind.

“Come,” he says in a husky voice. “I’ve prepared something while I was waiting for you. I missed you!” 

His words instantly fuel my imagination. I think of the toys in his room and my womb starts to tingle. There’s nothing I can do about it. Liam’s commanding manner and his ideas about sex just really turn me on.

Poisoned, poisoned!
My head mocks.