Penned (4 page)

She mumbled against the sash, anger welling inside her as the softness of the bed met her back when he lay her down. Then silence came over the room as the music stopped playing for a moment. It was replaced by something classical. She couldn't name it.

Renn had left her side. She knew that much. The sound of breath blowing came to her.

He's putting out the candles. It's going to be dark—so dark he still won't see my face fully.

A weight shifted her slightly on the bed.

“Oh, Pammy. I've missed you so much, and you've been a very bad girl—not showing up when you said you would for our last date.” Fingers ran through her hair, and she enjoyed the caress.

What's the harm? It's obviously a game they played together. When he takes the gag off, I'll let him know what's going on.

Her body responded to his touch on her scalp as chills rushed through her and wetness pooled between her legs.

“I like these heels,” he purred, and she moaned when his hands moved down her legs and clasped the shoes, pulling them off slowly. He massaged her feet until her breath came in gasps.

I can't believe this is happening. Renn Milton is making slow, kinky love to me, and he doesn't know who I am.

“As I said, you've been such a naughty girl. But then, you always were. I'm going to have to teach you a lesson. It's going to take me a while.” As he spoke, he moved his hands up her thighs, undoing the garters there. Her legs shook at the thought of what he had planned for her. Her hose slipped down her legs.

“Stand up, Pam.” His voice grew hard, and she struggled up with his arm around her. “Good. Let's get this dress off. It's in my way.”

She wanted to laugh.
Going to have to cut it off, bad boy.

The zipper moved against her skin, cold as he pulled it down until she was exposed to him.

Now what?

A snip of scissors at her shoulders and at the bottom of the dress answered the question .The dress fell to the floor with a whisper of silk.

“Lean over, bad girl.”

She did so, her breath coming in short gasps. Every nerve in her body tingled in anticipation.

I've lost my mind.

Her hands still tied, she knelt over the bed, her butt in the air. Heat rose in her cheeks at what his view must be like.

I'm forty. It's not that great.

A moment of silence made her skin prickle.

“I don't remember your ass being this juicy, Pam.”

She said nothing, wanting him to stop and wanting him to keep going.

“You've fleshed out a bit, and I like it.”

She grunted and frowned at his comment.

He smacked her ass hard, and she gasped with the pain and the pleasure.

But... I guess if he likes my curves, why would I complain?

“How did you like the desserts? I had all your favorites, I think.” His voice was a seductive whisper, and she needed his touch again.

“Wonderful,” she said against the sash on her mouth.

When is he going to realize I'm not Pam? Not the Pam he thinks I am.

“Good. I think it's time for the whip, don't you?”

Pam stiffened, fear running through her.

That's going to hurt. I have never done anything like this before.

She nodded.

“Be right back. Don't move a muscle.”

She wished she could see him. The blindfold wasn't helping with that.

I hope the whip doesn't sting too much.

“Here we go, Pammy. I'm gonna make you feel so good. It's been way too long.” She heard his clothes rustling.

The thought of the handsome man she'd seen on her doorstep naked made her breath whoosh out.

She yelped at the feel of his hard cock pressing against her bottom.

“You like that, don't you? I do too, but not yet. That's going to come later—much later.” His warm hand gripped her hip, and shivers of pleasure ran through her body.

He has to wear a condom. I'm going to have to ask when the time comes.

A whip sang in the air, and the next thing she knew, her bottom burned with its lash.

“Ouch!” she shouted.

She heard the audible breath Renn Milton took as he loosened his grip on her and stepped away. The second lash didn't come.

“Who are you? Pam would never say that in response to the whip.” He picked her up and threw her down on the bed on her back, not without gentleness. He untied the gag.

“Pam Smith, but not the one you think I am. There's been a mix-up.” Her words came out in a high-pitched flood as she struggled for breath.

Renn ripped off her blindfold.

“She has brown eyes.” His voice was tight.

“I'm sorry.” She gazed up at him.

He's even better looking in person.

A lump built in her throat at the way his dark brows furrowed.

“I'm sorry for harassing you. Your name is Pam Smith though? And you thought I was...” He stopped, giving her a hard glare.

“Another R from my past who lives in town—for a while anyway. Then I knew you weren't him, so I stood you up, but when you came around to my place…” She took a trembling breath. “I wanted to come tonight.”

He sat next to her on the bed, his thigh against hers. “I see.”

“But it's all wrong. I had no idea you were Renn Milton, not till I saw the mailbox tonight with your last name on it, and it all clicked.”

He nodded.

Thank God he believes that part anyway.

“You're a dozen years younger than me. You were expecting to see the woman you once loved...” She trailed off.

“I was, but I'm not sure I love her anymore. Love is a big word. Want is more of what I felt.” He bit his lip, which made him look even sexier.

“I have to go.” Pam sat up and made a frenetic search for her clothes on the floor.

“Your dress is ripped, remember? You can't go out like that, Pam. Why not stay for a while? I mean, you're here anyway.” He held his hands out. “I'll make sure you have some suitable clothes before you leave.”

She shook her head, feeling foolish as tears sprang into her eyes.

I don't need his pity or for him to use me for a crazy one-night stand he tells all his rich buddies about later.

“I don't think so.”

He shrugged. “Your decision. I'm sorry I was so pushy. I thought I had the right address. How many Pam Smiths could there be in this town?”

“More than you think. I don't know another one, but that doesn't mean anything.”

Renn Milton held up a hand. “Stay here a minute. I'll at least find some clothes for you. I'm always prepared for guests. I just haven't had many lately.” He gave her a sad smile and strode to the far end of the room.

Pam admired his ass as he did so.

Why am I leaving? He seems like a nice enough guy.

Her humiliation flooded back, and she wanted to vomit.

I'm so pathetic, standing here in lacy underthings and garters for a man I knew didn't really want me in the first place.

“Pam? You okay?” Renn's voice took her from the reverie.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

She sat on the bed, her head down.

A minute later, Renn came back. Her gaze was trained on his muscular legs.

“Here ya go. I think these will fit.” He handed her shorts and a t-shirt.

“Thanks. Really. I'm sorry about all of this. I should have had the guts to tell you what was really going on.” Pam struggled into the clothes, aware of Renn's attention as he sat on the bed.

“It was just a misunderstanding. But—”

She looked up at him. “What?”

“Nothing. Thanks for being my guest. I'm glad you enjoyed the desserts.” He cocked an eyebrow in her direction, and she laughed.

The sad thing is, I really like him. If he weren't twenty-seven and a millionaire and I weren't forty and desperate.

“Sure. Bye, Renn.”

She walked out, not looking back as tears stung her eyes.

* * * *

“So you just left? Walked away from Renn Milton and his millions?” Janey asked when they talked the next evening. Scorn laced her voice.

“Well, yeah. What was I supposed to do? The whole thing was humiliating. I must have been insane for going in the first place.”

“No. You weren't. Any woman who had the chance would have at least tried it. And you got to meet Renn Milton. He's a recluse, you know. Everyone in town has wondered about him since he got here a couple months ago and bought that old railroad baron's house.”

“I know. But it's crazy. I'm forty. He's twenty-seven and unwrinkled and so handsome. And once I gave myself away, it was done.”

Janey giggled. “The whip. Oh, boy.”

“Don't you tell anyone about this, Janey,” Pam said fiercely, but she smiled. Her friend wasn't the type to tell her secrets. That's why they were still friends after twenty-five years.

“No way. But I wish it had ended differently.” Janey sighed.

“You're a hopeless romantic, Janes. Real life doesn't work that way.”

* * * *

When she received a letter in a lavender envelope with no return address at the end of the next week, Pam had to clutch  the mailbox post to keep from falling over.

“Pam, you okay?”

Joan Winchell saw everything, just like most of the nosy gossipers in this town.

“Just fine.” She tried to stand up straight.

“With all that mail you've been getting, I wonder if you're not having a steamy, long-distance love affair.” Joan laughed, a brittle sound that set Pam's nerves on edge.

Pam gritted her teeth as she walked up to her house. She stopped and gazed at Joan full on. “If I were, Joan, you'd be the last to know.” She gave the gaping woman an acidic grin and walked into her house.

Her hands trembled, and she forced herself to open the letter slowly after she'd taken off her high heels and poured a stiff drink. It had been a rough Thursday as it was. This would just top it off—probably.

I'm sure he hates me now, after he's had time to think about it.

Her heart banged rapidly as she slid the note out of its envelope. She read the words by the familiar, flowing hand:

Dear Pam,

I really enjoyed meeting you. By the way, I've learned that you are the only Pam Smith in town. The woman I thought I was writing left before I moved here apparently. I guess I wasn't meant to reconnect with her.

What would you say to dinner at my place Saturday evening? If I don't hear back from you, I'll assume it's a yes. If it's a no, give me a call.

                                                                                                                Renn

She dropped the note before reading his cell phone number. Her head floated above her body.

This can't be happening. He must be toying with me.

But the memory of his warm hand gripping her hip and his eyes—the darkest blue she'd ever seen—made her wonder.

Maybe he's serious. What do I have to lose?

The answer came to her, and she frowned.

Nothing but my boring, asexual life.

She sighed, a headache starting behind her eyes.

* * * *

By bedtime, she'd talked herself into it.
It's just dinner, and I won't wear anything super sexy.

She frowned, pushing her warmed-up diet meal around in its tray.
I hope he doesn't think I'm just an easy lay and that writing me again and inviting me over for dinner will be the trick.

Now, what to wear?

                                                                      * * * *

The next day and a half passed in a blur of work and worry. Finally, she chose a pretty sundress with flowers on it and lacy, white matching underthings for her dinner date.

No garters this time.

Her heels were lower too, so she didn't have to wobble up the driveway.

“Yes?” James's voice came from the speaker box on the locked gate.

“It's Pam.” Nervousness gripped her.

“Of course, miss. I'll open the gate. Drive right in and park where you'd like.”

It struck her that James hadn't had her do that before.

“Thanks, James. Was that Renn's idea?” She held her breath.