Payoff Pitch (Philadelphia Patriots) (41 page)

No. God, no.

Actually, she was afraid that if she said one more word or thought one more thought about never seeing him again, she’d burst into hysterical tears. “Why don’t we talk again after you make your decision?” she said, trying to dredge up an apologetic smile. “That might be easier on both of us than talking more about this now.”

He glanced over his shoulder at the dogs, both snoozing away since they’d pulled out of her dad’s driveway, thank God. “Toby and Sadie will miss you like hell if you go.” He gave her a quick glance and then glued his eyes back on the road. “But whatever you say, Teddy. Maybe your partner can take over for you until all this bullshit gets straightened out.”

She gave him a tight nod, forcing herself not to react. If Noah had shoved a knife between her ribs, she doubted that it could have hurt any worse than those words.

And yet she couldn’t blame him one bit.

Teddy dropped her suitcase onto the floor and her keys into the little dish on the table by the door. After grabbing a beer out of the refrigerator and her iPhone out of her bag, she headed through the living room and out the patio doors to the deck. The house was quiet and empty with Emma out, and that instantly heightened the terrible loneliness that had hit her after she watched Noah drive away. She told herself she might feel better if she sat outside in the warmth of the late afternoon, listening to the birds and the drift of the breeze through the trees instead of rattling around inside an empty house.

Right now her mind felt like her enemy. She needed to calm down, center herself, and focus her scattered thoughts. Emma would be busy all day servicing clients and probably not home for a couple of hours. That suited Teddy fine, because her friend would want to interrogate her about the weekend and that was the last thing she needed until she got her head together.

Noah had rushed off after helping her with her bag, clearly as anxious as she was for the long, silent ordeal of the car trip to be over. Before he went, though, he’d asked her to call him tonight or tomorrow and let him know what she planned on doing about her job—staying on with her duties, or handing off to Emma, or possibly even quitting altogether. Teddy had said she’d call in the morning because she hoped that a night away from him—a night of quiet reflection—might help her make the right decision.

She knew that her frayed nerves and stiff neck were products of the hash she’d made out of the conversation today, retreating into questions or vague statements because she couldn’t admit that she’d fallen in love with Noah. And then she’d made it even worse by giving him that clumsy and stupid ultimatum. Everything was complicated and difficult and fuzzy, and yet she’d been about as subtle and nuanced as a sledgehammer.

Then again, Noah hadn’t given her much back, had he? Yes, he’d vehemently denied that he was just playing with her, but he hadn’t said anything about how he truly felt—he’d just made that lukewarm comment about
caring a lot.
What did that even mean when push came to shove? He cared a lot about Cristina. And Toby and Sadie. And his buddies on the Patriots. Where did she fit into the picture?

Okay, Noah liked having sex with her—he’d made that perfectly clear. But was there anything more to it for him than hot sex and some kind of boss/friend relationship? She figured she’d given him a gold-plated invitation to tell her exactly what she meant to him, and yet he’d given her so little in return.

She pulled out one of the chairs from the glass-topped patio table. With a weary sigh, she sat down in the shade of the umbrella, took a sip of beer, and pulled out her iPhone ear buds. Maybe if she just vegged out for a while as she listened to music, the answers would somehow come to her. In any case, going around in endless mental circles sure wasn’t doing the trick.

Before she could put the buds in her ears, her phone rang. A flash of hope that it might be Noah died as soon as her father’s name appeared on the call display. No doubt he’d be wondering why she and Noah had been a pair of icebergs during their brief stop at the farm.

“Teddy, are you okay?” her dad asked without preamble. “I’ve been worrying ever since you guys left here. I don’t want to pry, but what the heck happened up in Cooperstown? I know something’s not right.”

“Since when did you start worrying about prying?” Teddy said, forcing a light tone.

“Don’t try to hide by playing the smartass, girl. I can tell when two people are fighting, and I sure as hell know when my daughter is good and upset.”

She wrinkled her nose at the phone. This would not be a good conversation, but she couldn’t blow him off. Her father had never been anything but supportive, always there for Teddy through very tough times.

“It’s tricky, Dad, but I won’t lie to you. Let’s just say I’ve developed feelings for Noah. And yes, it was really stupid to get involved with my boss, so you don’t have to say it.”

“Feelings, as in you’re in love with the man?”

She wanted to squirm with embarrassment, like she was a kid again. “Well, yes, I suppose that’s about the size of it. But I know I’ll just end up getting hurt since it can’t go anywhere. And I’m going to be out of a job, too, because don’t think I’ll be able to stand working for him any longer…under these circumstances. It would be just too hard.”

“Ah, all right, then. Let’s leave the job issue alone for a minute. First, I want to know why you’re so sure it can’t go anywhere with Noah. Is he secretly married or something?” His voice was as dry as their farmyard at the end of August.

“It just can’t,” Teddy said, her throat tightening yet again. “We’re too different.”

Okay, that sounded lame even to her.

Her dad’s snort seemed to echo that thought. “Well, that’s no excuse. And I guess I don’t know a damn thing anymore, because I spent a lot of time watching you two when you were here, and you sure as heck looked to me like two young people in love. Teddy, parents don’t miss stuff like that, even when their kids are grown up like you are. A father notices a man’s eyes when he looks at his daughter. Notices how he sometimes slips his hand onto the small of her back when he walks alongside her, and his tone of voice when he speaks to her. Notices the way he carries himself when he’s around her.”

He fell silent for a few moments, clearly intending her to think about his words.

“Dad, I—”

“And a father notices the way a fella talks to
him
, whether he treats him with respect, like it genuinely matters,” he interrupted. “We can tell when the guy’s just some horn dog. When he’s out to get what he wants and then scoot away to the next girl in line. Noah Cade sure isn’t like that with you, Teddy. Not one bit. Unless I’ve gone senile, I’m pretty sure that he’s a long way down the path to falling in love with you.”

Tears rose up in her throat, choking her.

“I don’t know, Dad,” she finally managed. “Noah keeps everything so close to his chest when it comes to his feelings. About everything, really, including what he’s going to do about Baron Energy and fronting the pro-fracking campaign.”

“Oh, like other men don’t keep their feelings close to their chests? Honey, that’s just the way most of us are built. You should have realized that from growing up with me and your hard-headed brother.” He paused, inhaling a deep breath. “You know what the problem is, girl?”

“What?” she asked in a resigned voice.

“You haven’t dated enough, that’s what. Maybe the reason you can’t see what’s right in front of you is because you’ve had so little experience.”

“Thanks, Dad,” she responded dryly. But she mentally winced because there was more than a little truth to his words. To her, reading men was like trying to decipher the Russian alphabet. Usually, it just seemed easier to leave well enough alone.

Something she hadn’t been able to do with Noah.

“But what about Baron Energy?” she asked. “Are you saying I should ignore that, too?”

“Yep. Forget about Baron Energy. So what if Noah decides to go to work for them? Hell, the damn company would be better off with a man like him as far as I’m concerned. He listened when he was up here and didn’t try to bullshit us. Everybody went away impressed, even the hard-liners.”

Huh. She hadn’t really thought of it that way before. There was certainly a world of difference between Noah and his hard-assed father.

“But what if he agrees to shill for the industry, Dad? How could I be involved with him when he’ll all over the media promoting the destruction of our land and our heritage?”

“Oh, please, climb down from your little soapbox for a minute,” he said in a stern voice. “Of course you’re not going to be thrilled about that. Neither am I. But these situations are complicated, and you’ve been influencing Noah to keep an open mind. And
you
need to keep an open mind, too, girl. The things that really matter are people and family and how we feel about each other—whether we treat each other with love and respect. From where I’m sitting, Noah seems to be doing that with you that in pretty good measure.”

He fell silent. When she didn’t answer, his sigh drifted over the phone. “Are you really going to let politics drive you two apart? You need to decide what’s really important, Teddy. And I think
Noah
is important to you.”

She didn’t know what to say. Okay, maybe her heart did, but her brain—and her fears—seemed to be tangling up her tongue.

“God, I wish your mother was here to be talking to you about all this.” Her dad’s voice seemed to waver a little. “You probably think I should shut up and mind my own business instead of trying to butt in on your life.”

The tears that had been stinging Teddy’s eyes finally welled up. “No, of course I don’t think that. I’ll never think that. You’ve always given me the best advice and support, Dad. I couldn’t have asked for better.”

Of course she missed her mom—almost every day. But her dad had been forced to be both mother and father for years now, and she could never fault him for the job he was doing.

“Well, that’s a relief,” he said, exhaling a dramatic breath. “So, I’ll just say one more thing and then shut up. And it’s this, honey. Just ask yourself if you love Noah or if you don’t. If the answer is yes, then say that to the man that straight out—no dancing around and waiting for something magical to happen. Men can be pretty dense, girl. Again, look at me and your brother.”

“Yeah,” she sniffled. “And me, too. At least I got it honestly.”

“And stop being afraid of things that might or might not go wrong,” he said. “I see that happening and I know I didn’t raise you to be that way. You’re a strong, smart, beautiful young lady, and Noah Cade would be damn lucky to have you. So, do what you need to do, Edwina Quinn. You can make it work, if that’s what you want. And if it doesn’t work out for whatever reason, then you’ve done your best and you can walk away from him with a clear conscience at least.”

Teddy swiped a hand across her wet cheeks. Her dad was right. Wishing and hoping and wringing her hands weren’t going to make anything happen. Nothing good, anyway. If she loved Noah, she needed to cut free from her doubts and fears and tell him straight out. If she wound up hitting the ground hard, well, she’d survive. Because her dad was right—she
was
strong.

“Whew, for an old Holstein man, you sure give a good emotional pep talk,” she said.

“Who are you calling old, girl?”

She could see him grinning. “Dad, I think I’d better get myself into the shower,” she said, glancing at her watch. “I need to be someplace soon—someplace important—and I don’t want to look like I’ve just come in from the barn.”

“Well, good. Although I’ve always thought a little hay in a girl’s hair is kind of cute,” he said. “Call me later and tell me how it goes, okay?”

She laughed. “Count on it. I love you, Dad.”

Teddy stood up and marched back into the house. She knew where Noah was going to be this evening, and she had a lot to do before she bearded the lion in his den.

After dropping off his car out front, Noah reluctantly strode into the lobby of the Four Seasons. The cocktail reception was in the ballroom, not, thankfully, in the Fountain Room. The last time he’d been in that restaurant had been when Teddy went toe to toe with his father. She’d been courageous and smart and so damn beautiful that morning that Noah been bursting with pride and a fierce desire to claim her. He’d even thought back then that they’d be able to work their problems out, but it sure wasn’t looking good at the moment.

Damn, he missed her already, even though it had only been a few hours since he’d been with her. The fact that they might be close to the end of the line was ripping him up inside. The depth of his feelings for her shocked the hell out of him, especially given all the other crap going on in his life. His future with the Patriots and the issue with Baron Energy should be foremost in his mind right now, but they weren’t. Not even close, and no matter how much he might want to pretend it wasn’t so, Noah had to acknowledge that he’d fallen hard for sweet Teddy Quinn.

He headed past the restaurant to the ballroom, his body drum-tight. This kind of gathering wasn’t his thing under the best of circumstances, and today was light years away from best. But he’d promised his father he’d go, so he’d put on an Armani suit and blue striped tie and headed out. He hated wearing suits but the industry moguls—including his father—would probably scowl if he showed up in anything else. Unfortunately, he’d have to get used to dressing like a businessman if and when he claimed his chunk of square footage in Baron’s sterile Dallas skyscraper, a prospect he viewed with loathing.

Slowing his pace, he tried to shut his troubles with Teddy out of his mind and focus on the decision he had to make tonight—agree to speak on behalf of the industry or not. If he said yes now and it was announced at the party, it would finally get the monkey off his back and make his father a very happy man. The problem was that the meetings at the Quinn and Dillon farms had confirmed what his gut had been telling him for a while—that he didn’t want to do it. It was one thing not to buy into radical anti-fracking rhetoric, but quite another to be a media flunky who tried to tell regular folks that they had absolutely nothing to worry about.