Payce's Passions (5 page)

As I watch the workers through the window, the inside lights dim, making me even more hidden than I already was, no one can spot me here. Employee’s come out the front doors and I perk up looking for him. One after another, they leave and Aaron is nowhere in sight. One employee waits outside the club, pulling off the apron around his waist. Maybe this guy is waiting on a ride, could I be that lucky?

A shadow of muscular legs passes by one of the windows, as the outside light goes out, and the front door opens. My pulse races and my heart’s pounding hard. It manages to skip a beat at the same time.
Is that even possible?
I’d recognize that walk anywhere. To keep the knot from forming in my stomach, I take a deep breath, swallowing deep. It feels like a rugby player just drop kicked me in the gut.
He
steps out, locking the door to the club. My chest feels like a boa constrictor is squeezing around me.

A button down shirt clings to his upper body, revealing the firm muscles hidden beneath. He reaches down to un-tuck his shirt from his waistband, letting it fall loose around his pants, and unbuttons one sleeve at his wrist. He folds the cuff up, then the other side, stopping just underneath his elbow. The familiar tattoo of the panther on his forearm sends chills shooting through my body.
I remember when he got it.
He talks with the employee outside with the apron, and then watches the guy walk to his car. His hair blows in the wind, and he turns his head, looking in my direction. I know he can’t see me, but it’s like he instinctively senses something.

He walks toward the only vehicle left in the parking lot, glancing over his shoulder in my direction again, and then clicks the fob unlocking the car. Standing there another minute, he runs his fingers through his hair.

Braxton is still the most delicious sight I’ve ever laid my eyes on, even now.

Chapter Six

Two hours early, I’m at Damien’s house for this barbeque thing. It’s not like me to do this kind of thing, but I couldn’t stand another minute with myself, not after last night. Not after seeing him again. I roll my shoulders back and get ready to knock, but Dax opens the door first.

“Thought I heard you ride up, come on in.” Dax reaches out and shakes my hand.

“Payce, glad you could make it.” Damian rounds the corner and leans way over looking behind me, with a silly smirk he shakes his head.

“Really, Damien.” I laugh. “You knew damn well I wasn’t bringing anyone with me, don’t act shocked.”

Damien leads the way and we cross his living room and go out the back patio door to the pool area.

“Am I missing something? Why didn’t you bring anyone?” Dax asks then walks over to the outside bar.

He reaches into the fridge grabbing a couple beers and Damien stares at him like a love struck teenager. Dax strolls back to us, smiling at Damien the whole way, and hands us both a Budweiser. He returns to the sink area, seasoning the steaks with spices. Damien gets a goofy grin on his face watching Dax.

“You really do love him, don’t you, Damien?” I pat him on the back, before kicking back in the lounge chair.

Damien licks his lips. “I do, Payce. Damn, we’ve had to work through so many things, basically been through hell and back, but I wouldn’t change any of it now. Everything we went through, no matter how bad or hard, brought us to where we are now. I trust him.” Damien points toward Dax. “That man right there, he’s my fucking world. I never knew it could be like this.”

“That’s great, I’m happy for you man. You deserve it, especially after Aaron.”

“Have you ever had that one person that was it for you, the only one? That’s Dax for me. I’d marry that man, only it’s not legal in Texas, so what can I do, right?”

“What?” Dax grins at Damien and struts back to us.

He’s holding a tray with steaks. As he passes Damien, he holds the platter out with one hand, and presses into Damien’s back. Dax slides his free hand around Damien’s waist, kissing him on the shoulder muscle that protrudes from Damien’s neck. 

“Awe.” I laugh and take a swig of my beer. “Aren’t y’all cute?”

“Payce here…” Damien makes a fist with thumb pointing to me. “He’s a bit of a hard ass when it comes to relationships.”

They look at me and all I can do is shrug because I know he’s about to verbally vomit everything to Dax.

“Payce was hurt once, and now he won’t allow himself to care about anyone on that level.”

Let the chunks start spewing.
“Damien.” I shake my head. “Let’s not go there.”

“Why not, Payce?” Dax walks up to the pit with the food.

“Because, I know how to separate the physical from the emotional crap. I’m much better at the physical part of it is all, no connections.” I cross one leg over the other and they both stare at me. “Can I ask you something? How did you two know, that you belonged together?” I can’t believe I just asked them that. “Dax, no offense, but you were straight for fucks sake. How the hell did that change and how did you know you loved this lug-head?” I smack Damien in the arm as he sits down.

“Tell me about it, talk about a total mind fuck.” Dax looks at Damien with such a passion in his eyes, smiles at him, then turns back to put the meat on the grill. “You sure you want to hear all this?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.” 

“You should have been in my mind through all of that, I didn’t know if I was coming or going. Damien was always a flirt in a roundabout way, but it sort of flattered me. He scared me shitless, but I couldn’t ever quite shove Damien out of my mind, as hard as I tried. That alone flipped me out on an hourly basis, but I couldn’t resist him. When he got hurt, I blamed myself and that is when I knew. I was ready to give him up to protect him. If I wasn’t in the picture, then psycho, Aaron, would leave him alone. So to answer your question, I knew that I was willing to let Damien go, to protect him from Aaron. It is purely unselfish love and it doesn’t get stronger than that. When you can’t get someone out of your head for a single minute of the day, yet you’re still willing to let them go, then that is my definition of love.”

Damien stands up, walking over to Dax. “I love you, baby, I’m so glad you came to your senses though. I mean, I’m quite the catch.” Damien laughs and leans in to give Dax a kiss. “Payce, when Dax left, I was in the hospital, I felt like everything inside of me dried up and crusted away. I knew what he was doing and why, but I had to keep fighting to get him to understand that without him I was nothing.”

“Damn.” I think back to me and Braxton, but it was different.

With me and Brax, I was the one in trouble. We were young and had only been together once, but it was enough for me to know I cared so much, I wasn’t going to bring him down with me. He deserved better than that, better than me, and he didn’t need the trouble I came with. Brax was always the smart one with potential, he had the positive outlook on things and I wasn’t going to spring any problems on him. Even if it meant he would hate me forever.

“I’m glad you both were able to get through the shit you two were dealt, it took some big balls, I tell you.” I take a swallow of beer.

“Dax, Payce here may be a hard ass on the outside, but he cared about someone once, he gets it,” Damien tells him.

“Tell us about it, Payce,” Dax insists, pulling up a chair. He takes Damien’s hand in his and waits for me to talk.

“Man, it was a long time ago, it’s not important anymore.”

“Apparently it is.” Dax arches his eyebrow. “If it wasn’t important, you’d tell us. At least give us a name.”

“His name was Brax. We were young and shit got all fucked up. Like I said, it’s not important anymore. It’s a part of my past that needs to stay buried there.” I grab Damien’s pack of smokes and take one. I quit smoking a year ago. Damien looks at me like I’m insane, but doesn’t say anything.

“You never told me any of the details either, I’m curious.” Damien tosses me the lighter.

“That’s not going happen. Don’t you want to know about Aaron already, that’s why I’m here right?” I sit up in the lounge chair.

“You’re here because you’re a friend, first and foremost, Payce, but yes I want to know. Tell me you have some kind of lead or something.” Damien lights up a smoke himself.

“I do have some info, it didn’t take as long as I thought it might either. Apparently he’s hooked up with a man named Ash, he works at a club downtown.”

“Really? Then what is his fixation with me if he’s with someone else?” Damien asks.

“Not sure yet. I went by the place last night. I wasn’t dressed to go in, however, I did wait outside to see if he showed up, he never did. I stayed until closing and headed home.”

“When are you going back?” Dax flips the steaks over.

“I’ll have someone in there tonight. The whole place isn’t really my kind of scene.”

“Payce, you have to be the one. You know him, Aaron is a tricky bastard, he could have everyone on his side with God knows who believing him. You have to handle this yourself, whoever you send might be buddy-buddy with him.” Damien stands up, helping Dax with the food. “Why can’t you do it yourself?”

“I, um…don’t worry, I should have more info by tonight.”
Fuck, I hope he lets this go.
“Like I said, I can’t do it. Not my scene and besides, I’ll stick out like a sore thumb.”

“I’m not buying this, Payce. You can blend into anything if you try hard enough. I know you, Payce, what is it that you’re not telling me?” Damien asks.

“At least tell me the name of the place so I can go my goddamned self.” Dax is pissed.

Lowering my head, I whisper, “It’s Braxton’s Club, and no you are not going yourself, not to deal with Aaron. I’ll take care of it.”

Dax and Damien look at each other and then back to me. “Braxton’s Tavern and Grill?”  Dax asks. “Oh, wait a minute.” The light bulb goes off. “Braxton, as in Brax? The same Brax, from your past? Oh fuck.”

“See my problem?” I take a drag on the smoke.

“No, not really. You said it was in the past and it didn’t matter.”

“Dax, you’re being rude,” Damien says to him.

“How? Because he used to be involved with someone years ago? Get past it already, he said himself it wasn’t important. Your safety is what matters, period.” Dax’s brow furrows, and he looks back to me.

Neither of them know how to handle this, I’m the one with the past and I know how to deal with idiots like Aaron. Dax is trying to protect the man he loves, I get that. This is one big fucked up mess.

“Dax, stop it now. I’m not asking my friend to cross a line, I flat out refuse it.” Damien mouth twists in anger.

“Then I’ll go,” Dax spouts off back to him.

Damien grabs his arm. “Over my dead body will you go in there or try any other way to deal with Aaron. I saw your face the other night, you really wanted to hurt Aaron and I’m not losing you, goddammit.” Damien is angry, I get it.

“Stop, both of you.” I climb out of the lawn chair. Raising my hand to my forehead, I rub it trying to stop the headache that’s heading my direction. “I’ll do it, he’s right, Damien, me and Braxton are in the past. I’m the one that can do this and will. I’m going to need a little help though.” I grin, trying to break the ice between them and get everyone back on a level playing field again.

“Help with what?” Dax asks. “Anything you need. I’m sorry for being a dickhead, but this bastard keeps fucking with us and getting away with it, over and over. I need Damien safe, I’m sure you understand. What can we help with?”

“I have no idea how to dress going into a place like that.” I duck my head down. “The only thing I own is biker leathers and jeans, and a whole lot of wife beaters and Harley shirts.”

Dax laughs out loud, and Damien nudges him in the side giving him a look that could almost kill. “Okay, sorry. I just find it humorous that the big bad Payce, can run around town to find this psychotic nutter, scaring everyone around him, but he’s worried about how to dress. I’m sorry.” He bursts out laughing again. I’m talking about bowed over, hands on his knees laughing.

“Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Remember, I’m the one with the shady past, cocksucker. Little hooligan that ran the roads, took the heat for Aaron and ended up in prison. I’ve got friends in low places, man.” I laugh. “Seriously, I really don’t know, I avoid situations that make me dress like that. If you want me to go in there to find Aaron or this Ash dude, I need to be able to get through the fucking door in the first place.”

“Dax!” Damien backhands him in the stomach. “Stop laughing dude, he’s right.”

Dax looks like he’s about to fall out on the ground. “I hope your fucking meat burns.”

I laugh.

“Come with me, Payce, we’re about the same size. I think I can fix you up, if not you still have time to go shopping.” Dax turns and walks toward the glass door to the house.

Chapter Seven