Payback (37 page)

It did go away after he went to the bathroom, but it didn’t mean that it wouldn’t have been fun. He walked past the window and was surprised to see Marie and Jack walking past the house on the trail that connected the two houses. He saw a moose
by the lake and watched as Marie bent down, picked Jack up, and pointed the moose out to him.  Although it was difficult to see from so far away, Jack looked excited, bobbing up and down and pointing at the moose. They continued to walk to the stables. Caden made his way downstairs to the mudroom and was about to put on his boots when he saw them walk back the way they came and then disappear, as the path wound into the forest.

On the set
, he warned her, “Grizzlies are typically out early looking for food.  You need to take protection when you go out walking with Jack.  Ask Jason for a gun if you’re going to go out.”

She pulled a can from her backpack—bear spray. “I’ve got it covered.”

It was better than nothing and it was known to work, so all he said was, “Be careful and put your bear spray on a holster.”

Marie was starting to stay clear of Caden and avoided having contact with him except when necessary.  She knew that, for whatever reason, she chafed Caden and made him agitated.  It was pouring over into his work, good and bad.  He was edgier in the scenes
, where it worked, but edgier in his romantic scenes too, and that didn’t work. Jeremiah rescheduled several scenes and told Caden to take his fiancée and go for a brief vacation. 

Before leaving for Jackson Hole, Caden discovered that the grasses that they were growing for hay were being infiltrated with a potato leaf hopper that wasn’t responding to the usual
pesticides. Brooke threw a fit when he told her that he had to stay to put out the fire or he’d lose half his hay crop growing in the southeast section of his property. 

“You have to choose.  I’ve been very patient
, staying in this isolated hellhole away from my friends and the things I love—”

“Rodeo Drive,” he interjected sarcastically.

“You can be such a bastard, Caden. I know why Marie cheated on you. She needed an excuse to break up. Well, it’s time to make a choice. Come with me to stay with our friends in Jackson Hole for the next four days or we’re over. I’m not taking second place to this ranch!  I have to know that you put me first.”

He shook his head. “You’re being childish. Of course you come first, but you’re not in any harm right now
, and going on a vacation is a luxury, not a necessity. Saving my crop is a necessity. It could cost us hundreds of thousands of dollars if I don’t find a solution. You can go to Jackson Hole, and I’ll try to catch up tomorrow or the next day.”

“Jason can handle this, that’s what you pay him to do.”

“Jason could handle this, but it’s unfair to place the future of the ranch on his shoulders alone.  These decisions should be made by me. I should be the one shouldering this risk, not him.”

Tears poured down Brooke’s cheeks. “That sounds like a big excuse to me. You have a cell
phone; you could make the decisions and still be with me.”

“It’s not the same. We have to talk to the Montana Extension Service about
pesticide alternatives, and I need to be here for that meeting. Brooke, come on.  Honey, please try to understand.”

Brooke shook her lustrous
chestnut hair. Mascara slid down her cheeks, and the hazel eyes were rimmed in red.  Caden felt like crap. There was some truth to what she had to say, but the reality was that he didn’t really want to leave. He did feel a responsibility to stay and solve the problem, even though Jason was just as capable.  More importantly, he didn’t want to give in to her ultimatum.  She underestimated how much the ranch meant to him and how unimportant four days in Jackson Hole were in comparison. Caden had made numerous promises to take a month off and go wherever she wanted after the shooting was done, but it obviously wasn’t enough.

“That’s it. I think we need to take a break. I need some time to think about whether this is the life I want. I know that you don’t plan on returning to films after this one
, and I’m not sure I want to live in Montana.”

“We can commute between Topanga and Montana.”

“I’m not sure I want that either.”

Caden swallowed hard and looked down at his boots. They were scuffed and worn from years of use on the ranch, but they were comfortable, just
like his life here in Montana.  Did he really want to commute?  But was he willing to lose Brooke?  Despite some of her superficialities, she was at heart a good person who frequently made him laugh, looked after him, and was easy on the eye.  They had a lot in common, and yet there were numerous differences that kept the conversation lively. “What do you want to do?”

Always the actress, she dramatically removed her engagement ring and put it in his hand. “Take care of this until I make a decision.”

“Brooke, don’t. Just be patient. When filming is over—”

“You’ll come up with another excuse to stay up here in Montana.”

“I told you that I’d take a month off and travel with you, I promise.”

“Caden, let’s just take a step back. I may love you, but I’m not sure you’re as committed to this relationship as I am.”

“I am.”

“I’ll call you in a few days.”

One of the assistants ran Brooke to the airport, while Caden and Jason drove down to Missoula with samples of the pests that were attacking the wheat. They met with several members of the University of Montana to discuss the problem.  By the time they were done, Caden had agreed to be a guinea pig for a new pesticide and to grow a new strain of genetically resistant alfalfa next year. 

“I have to admit I’m glad you were along,” Jason said
, as they drove back to the ranch.  “If that pesticide turns out to have harmful side effects or doesn’t do its job, I’m glad it was you that made the decision.”

Caden laughed. “Gee, thanks, buddy.”

“What’s going on between you and Marie?”

Rolling his eyes, Caden moaned. “Jesus, if one more person asks me about that…”

“You’ve almost reverted to what you were like when she was living here a few years ago. I think the only reason you haven’t banished her to the tack house is that she has Jack.”

“Ha-ha. Not funny.”

“Well, you tell me, what’s going on?”

“She just
irks the hell out of me right now.”

“Why?”

“God, I don’t know!  I see her and something inside me wants to explode.”

“Well, maybe this vacation to Jackson Hole will be good for you. Help you figure out why you feel like this.”

“I’m not going to Jackson Hole.”

Jason jerked his
head sideways to look at Caden as he stared out the side window, deep in thought. “Oh, man, now what?  What’s going on with you and Brooke?”

“She gave me an ultimatum…when I refused to go to
Jackson Hole yesterday, she gave me my ring back.”

“Holy cow!  She broke off the engagement?”

“She took a ‘time out.’”

“I wouldn’t want to be you right now. If I were you, I’d use this time to either go after Brooke or figure out why you’re so pissed at Marie.  Hopefully, both women are going to be a part of your life
, so you need to deal with them.”

“Brooke told me that she’d contact me when she was ready to talk to me.”

“Yikes, that’s not good.”

“Tell me about it.”

Chapter 1
6

Cayden’s Choice

I was surprised to see Caden drive up with Jason. It was my understanding that he and Brooke had gone to Jackson Hole to stay with friends for a few days. I knew Jason was dealing with a problem concerning the alfalfa crop, but I hadn’t had a chance to get details. I’d been working on a new scene that Jeremiah wanted to add. It dealt with some secondary characters
, so Caden wasn’t really necessary for input. 

Penny’s friend was coming to visit her from Fort Collins, Colorado. The friend had a two
-year-old so Penny suggested that she take Jack back to her house in Kalispell for a couple of days while she entertained her friend. Penny had proved to be a very responsible person and a very good nanny, so I gave her permission to take Jack, which meant I had forty-eight hours to myself. 

But now Caden was standing in the living room asking me where our son was. “He’s with his nanny, with Penny in Kalispell.” I explained the situatio
n, and I could see he was upset. “Damn it, Caden, I can’t do anything right in your books.  She’s very responsible, and it’s only for forty-eight hours. Besides, Ona told me that she was going to be spending time with them. She’s known both girls since they were born.”

He worked his mouth until finally he had come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t going to win
this one. “Okay, okay.  I was just hoping to take him home with me tonight.”

“Why aren’t you with Brooke?” the words tumbled out of my mouth before I saw Jason giving me the sign not to go there.

“None of your business.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I made some stew…anyone want some?”

Caden hesitated. I could see he was debating whether he wanted to be around me or not.  “Sorry, I better get back and start learning my lines for next week.”

“Sounds like a smart move. You’ll be happy to know that I haven’t been asked for any rewrites for tomorrow
, so you should be fine until Tuesday.”

“Great. Jason, they’re going to be delivering the pesticide tomorrow, do you want help?”

“No, I’ve lined up Grady’s to spray.  I’m not even going to go down while they’re doing it.  I’ll give it a few days, and then the Extension guys are coming up on Monday to see if it’s working.”

“Okay, sounds good.
Good night.”

“G‘night.”

I got up early in the morning to go for my walk.  I usually did a loop that took me through the forest, past Caden’s house, past the stables and down into the meadow by the lake, around the lake and back to the house.  It was a good four-mile hike, but an easy one since the grades were fairly flat.  I was walking through the meadow on the far side of the lake when I heard a soft whinnying behind me.  Looking back, Caden was on Jumbo, the largest horse in the stables, and he was carrying saddlebags. Dressed in jeans, a blue long-sleeved western shirt with rolled up sleeves, and his trademark black cowboy hat, he looked as if he belonged in a cigarette ad.

He tipped his hat
, and leaned forward in the saddle, giving me a smile I hadn’t seen in months. “Howdy, Ma’am.”

“Morning.”

“You look like you need a lift.”

I shook my head to reassure him I was okay. “Oh, no, I’m okay.  I just have another couple of miles. I’ll be fine.”

“I think you
need
a ride. Come on, take my hand and climb up behind me.”

I didn’t really need the ride, but he seemed insistent and, surprisingly, in a good mood. I didn’t want to mess with his new
-found-attitude, so I grabbed his muscular forearm and let him lift me up onto the back of the large saddle. Normally, I would have wrapped my arms around Caden’s waist, but I wasn’t sure if that was appropriate or even desired. Caden eventually turned in the saddle and gave me a puzzled look.  I was awkwardly holding onto the lip of the saddle behind me. There was a quick snort as he grabbed my arms and wrapped them around him. Where the lake ended and I would normally turn to walk around it towards the house, we continued straight down another path leading into the forest.

“Caden?  I was just going for a morning walk. Where are we going?”

“Relax. You have the day off and so do I. Jack’s with the nanny, and I thought you might enjoy a little journey.”

“Journey? Where?”

“Trust me.”

I laughed. “Trust you?”

“You always did before.”

“You defriended me.”

He tossed a look over his shoulder. “Huh?”

“On Facebook.”

He laughed out loud. “I have a private page with twelve friends. Brooke was not happy that you were one of them…yes, I defriended you.”

“I post photos of Jack on Facebook…I think you’d like them.”

“Then start a page for Jack, but make sure it’s private and only certain people can see it.  I’ll friend him.”

“But Brooke will know it’s me posting.”

“Doesn’t matter. She’s not talking to me right now.”

I was stunned and silent. I wasn’t sure if I should ask what he meant
, so I waited.  We started up a fairly steep grade and, since I was almost falling out of the saddle in the back, I hung onto Caden as tightly as I could, resting my cheek between the blades of his shoulders. I could smell the familiar musk as I hung on for dear life. The woodsy odor was like an old photograph, taking me back to a time when life was sweet and I was safe in the arms of a man I loved.  Now, each day was tinged with a kind of loneliness that only a single mother could understand.  I’d never trade the love of my child for anything else, but that didn’t mean I didn’t miss the warm touch of a man in the middle of the night, the smile across the dinner table, the splitting of the daily chores, and the peace of mind you have knowing someone has your back twenty-four/seven.

“You okay back there?” he asked.

“Yeah, but when are we getting where we’re going?”

“Enjoy the scenery; we have another hour to go.”

“Hour? Until we’re home again?”

“Until we reach our destination.”

“Where the hell are we going?”

“To places that would be difficult to reach on foot in a day.”

“Can Jubilee hold us?”

“Yeah, you don’t weigh
as much as you think.”

“Are you planning on leaving me stranded out here?”

“You’re joking, aren’t you?”

“Well, it would solve several of your problems.”

“I have several problems?” he inquired with levity.

“First and foremost
, you wouldn’t have to share Jack with me. Second, you’d save that ten thousand a month you’re always complaining about—”

“I’m not complaining!”

“—and third, Brooke wouldn’t feel threatened by me.”

“You’re crazy. One, you’re a wonderful mother and Jack needs you in his life.  Two, ten thousand dollars a month is nothing to me
. And third, Brooke left me yesterday.”

“Caden!”  I pulled back from his shoulders. “I’m so sorry! It’s just a tiff, right?  You’ll patch it up, won’t you?”

“That’s Jefferson Peak over there, one of the areas on the footage the helicopter shot.”

I looked over and realized that with all my introspection
, I had failed to appreciate the gorgeous views we were passing. Beside us was a deep valley with a river sparkling at the bottom of it that tumbled down the gorge. The blue-green pines covered the sides of the mountains leading down to the river like a blanket. The high clouds passed close to the tip of Jefferson Peak, which still had snow half way down it.

“Do you own Jefferson Peak?”

“I own the east face, the face you’re looking at, but the rest is owned by the U.S. Forest Service. And getting back to your question; it wasn’t me who put the relationship on hold, it was Brooke, so I don’t know when or if she’s coming back.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why? I had the feeling that you weren’t that fond of her after the beach incident.”

“I was reminded that I once lost Jack and that sometimes it takes screwing up to make you learn the lesson you need to learn. At least she treats Jack well—you know, she doesn’t abuse him or ignore him. If you have to marry someone, I want it to be someone that will be good to him.”

“Well, I may not be getting married…at least not for a while.”

“Don’t be so pessimistic.”

“I don’t have much luck when it comes to loving women.”

I gave him a tug around his chest to let him know I sympathized. “At least you’ve been able to find someone else. I suspect that I’m going to be one of those cat ladies in my fifties. No man, just a dozen cats to feed.”

“Cats?” he grinned back at me. “I imagine you as a dog person.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Oh
, my God, that’s so beautiful.” I was staring at another meadow with elk grazing next to the clearest lake I had ever seen. “Do you own that?”

“Yep, it’s our destination.  At least the hill o
ver there is.”

“The hill?”

“It’s a great place for a picnic.”

“You come here often?”

“Don’t sound so surprised. I like to come out here a couple of times each summer, sometimes with Jason, a few times with women, mostly alone.  It makes me feel whole.”

“I can see why.  It’s breathtaking.”  I kept staring, amazed at how green the grass was around the lake and how blue the water was.  “You are so damn lucky.”

“
Me?”

“For owning all this. It’s like occupying God’s living room.”

“Does it make you feel better that this will all be Jack’s one day?”

“That makes me happy and frightens me.  This is a lot of weight on anyone’s shoulders.”

“As long as he doesn’t gamble or invest in crap, the ranch breaks even each year, and my investments should keep him from wanting or needing anything his entire life.”

Caden stopped and helped me down from the horse.  We stood close to each other
, his face only inches from mine. I grabbed his upper arms and squeezed tight, suddenly overtaken by a tragic reality.  “We can’t raise him in Los Angeles. You understand, right?  He’ll grow up there feeling entitled and rich. If he’s raised on the ranch, he’ll understand hard work and appreciate what he has.”

“You sound so desperate. I was partially raised in Los Angeles and I grew up being a hard worker.”

“But you worked on ranches from Texas to Virginia to Los Angeles, to Montana.  He needs a solid background.”

Laughing, he put his arms around her and gave her a huge hug. “You crack me up. You’re so worried about a
toddler!  He’s got good parents. Together we’ll make sure he’s spoiled, but responsible.”

“But these last few months we’ve been anything but ‘together.’”

He pulled the saddlebags off of Jubilee and walked towards a shady spot on the hill. I followed and helped lay a blanket down that he had brought.  We sat down, and he began to unpack the lunch from the saddlebags. Handing me a sandwich and a glass of wine he had poured from a bottle he had brought, we took a moment to enjoy the view.

He took a sip and then looked over at me. “I know we’ve not been on the same page these last few months
, and I want to change that…now. I don’t want Jack to pick up on any negative feelings between us; and besides, I don’t even know why we’re at odds.”

“We, Ke
mosabe?” I shook my head. “I’m not at odds—you are.  I can’t breathe without you biting my head off.”

“And it’s a very pretty head.”

“Oh, don’t you dare pull that.”

“But I mean it. I watch you in the mornings with Jack
, and I think how beautiful you look walking in the forest with the wind and Jack’s hand in yours.  I’m not blowing smoke here, I honestly think you’re beautiful. Please don’t tell her, but I find you more attractive than Brooke.”

“Now I know you’re lying.”

He looked frustrated. “Hey, I know that Brooke is a stunner and I like looking at her.  Her face is beautiful and her body is…well, it’s smokin’ hot.  But I don’t feel the same physical attraction towards her that I do with you…or did with you…when we were thinking about getting married. I enjoy sex with her, but I don’t crave it. When we were together, it was hard for me to think about anything but getting you between the sheets.”

“When we were together
, we were in our twenties, and getting between the sheets was what we were supposed to do.”

“I’m not talking about our twenties; I’m talking about when you were working off your debt on the ranch. Christ, if I had given into my desires you would have been on the road four months earlier.”

I narrowed my eyes with suspicion. “You’re telling me that you’d rather have sex with me than Brooke?”

He blushed and nodded. “Lusting after your body is one of my favorite pastimes.”

“I don’t think you should be saying this to me. I bet Brooke will be back before you know it.”

“She’s not keen on living in Montana.”