Paul Lynde - A Biography (18 page)

The new homeowner wanted to have the same security system he had in his former home, but this time he wanted to add an emergency button and have it installed in his bedroom. Westclox Alarm Company arrived, and Reginald was there when they connected the panic button on his nightstand, next to his bed. By the time the house was completed, nearly two years later, it looked like a palace, and Reginald and Paul had become good friends. Paul invited him and his mother to many dinner parties. “He was a great host and he had a formula,” Reginald said, “He would only have seven guests for dinner at a time and only one other famous person there.” It was the same method he used in his Errol Flynn home. (It was also the same number of people Paul had sitting around his table growing up.) Over the decades, other celebrities who sat around his table included Harvey Korman, Maggie Smith, and Jonathan Winters. Friends were very important to Paul. The most important quality he looked for in a true friend was honesty. He also joked that he knew his real friends were the ones he could call to bail him out of jail in the middle of the night. One of the ways he would show his loyalty was having lavish dinner parties. It gave him a chance to dote on his friends with his cooking…until he started realizing he was missing out on half the fun. He would hear his guest in hysterics and then he would leap from the kitchen, with an oven mitt and spoon in his hand, into the dining room area. His next challenge was to try to get someone to stop laughing long enough to tell him what was said. He especially was annoyed when he missed something Jonathan Winters said, so eventually hired a cook.

Reginald was there the night Karen Valentine was the other “star,” and he said it was a wonderful evening. Another time, Paul’s party had a lot of drinking going on, and the host and a female guest began wrestling, calling each other names. Reginald watched as the two rolled on the floor laughing until they were so exhausted they couldn’t get up — so they stayed there all night.

Reginald occasionally joined Paul for nightlife fun. They went to clubs and he noticed that Paul would never go to a restroom by himself. He was apprehensive about fans coming in so he always made sure he had someone he knew to escort him there.

Paul’s home, though much smaller, was just as eloquent as his former one and was featured in the May 1981 issue of
Architect’s Digest.
He told the reporter, “A room is like a stage, if you see it without lighting, it can be the coldest place in the world.” He was proud once again of a home that reflected his success.

In October of 1977, Northwestern University invited Paul to be Grand Marshall of their Homecoming parade. Everyone in town came out and cheered for him as he rode in a convertible, and waved to the crowd. At half time, the band formed a tic-tac-toe shape — à la
The Hollywood Squares —
on the field in his honor. Though the football team lost that day, Paul said he had a wonderful time and enjoyed the warm welcome. After the game, he continued to celebrate.

Later that night, around 11 p.m., Paul became hungry and zigzagged into the Burger King in town with a friend. The patrons recognized him immediately, and they laughed at everything he said. Paul stood in line to place his food order, behind a six-foot-nine-inch African American male. That man knew who Paul was, but Paul did not know who he was. Paul made comments about the help wanted sign and made a few jokes. He mentioned he was scheduled to work with an all-black cast the next day and then added, “Black people are too spoiled,” the tall man behind him was not amused.

Paul was getting a few laughs. Then the tall man’s order was called, but he did not hear it. Paul made a comment that he did not think the man understood English, hoping to get more laughs. The man muttered a curse under his breath and then Paul made an obscene gesture at him. Paul explained later that he sensed this man was not an admirer. That man turned out to be a professor at Northwestern.

His name was James Pitts and he had graduated from NU in 1966. He was also an associate professor in the sociology department there at the time. The professor was so upset that he wrote down the details of the incident and gave the story to the school’s newspaper,
The Daily Northwestern.
In that story, the professor explained that he had some rage pent up from other incidents he had experienced. Many from the school were upset and wanted at least an apology from the alumnus who had just led their parade. Tom Roland, who headed the university, said it was unfortunate, but told a school reporter that he had heard that Paul had been drinking and did not feel he had to apologize.

The story of the verbal altercation at Burger King, with Paul and the professor, spread through the town. It even made the front page of one Chicago newspaper. Paul finally decided he should make a statement and said, “I apologize sincerely for anything I said, but I was exhausted.” Paul later told a reporter that he was not a prejudiced person, but when he drank, he sounded like one. He became annoyed if anyone brought it up to him, and he just wanted to forget about it. He had no idea his behavior would keep him from having anything to do with his beloved Northwestern again.

After his visit, he headed home, aggravated by the whole ordeal. He concentrated on a new project,
Twas the Night Before Christmas,
his latest one-hour special. His guests included Alice Ghostly, Ann Meara, Anson Williams, and Foster Brooks, and Martha Raye.

The show was set in the late 1800s: though Paul plays a father again, he’s not frazzled this time, just seems bitter about life. By the end of the one-hour special, he finds the true meaning of Christmas. It received an Award of Excellence from the film advisory board which Paul was quite proud of.

Paul pulled up in his driveway after a day of work, and he was thinking about his plans for his favorite holiday, which was only a few days away. He was pleased that he had finished all his Christmas shopping. He turned the key in his door, and when he walked inside, his mouth dropped. He stared at the empty space where the mountain of 200 gifts that he had personally wrapped for his friends and relatives in colorful paper and bows had been. They were gone. His burglar alarm had not gone off. He wondered who would have done this. He was so upset that he waited two days before he called the police. Neither the thief nor the presents were ever discovered. Paul didn’t want to disappoint anyone, so he went right back to the stores and purchased another 200 gifts in time for Christmas.

Paul was relaxing at home watching TV one afternoon, when he got a call from Kaye Ballard. According to Kaye, she was watching a show that had a scene where a girl is being warned by her wealthy father that if she continued to date her pauper boyfriend, he would disinherit her. Well, the girl left and told her boyfriend that she will now be disinherited, but she didn’t care, she just wanted to be with him. The boyfriend looks at her and yelled, “Ya big dumb cluck.” Kaye was laughing so hard she just had to dial Paul, who happened to be watching the same program. The two of them screamed for days as they called each other, repeating those words as they roared with laughter, “Ya big dumb Cluck.”

Paul was a guest on
The Mothers-in-Law,
where Kaye costarred with Eve Arden. They also went on
The Perry Como Show
together, and Kaye remembered one year at rehearsal that someone was singing the words to the famous song “Maria.” This was after the explosion of
West Side Story.
Perry Como, who was usually playing golf most of the time, asked, “What is that, what are you singing?” Paul could not believe Perry had not heard the song and said, “What have you been doing, paddling to and from the golf course? Who hasn’t heard of ‘Maria?’ ”

Paul continued to floor audiences with his jokes on
The Hollywood Squares.
Peter asked him, “Can anything bring tears to a chimp’s eye?”

Paul answered, “Finding out that Tarzan swings both ways.”

Peter asked another question to Paul. “In
The Wizard of Oz,
the Tin man wanted a heart, the Lion wanted courage. What did the straw man want?”

Paul answered, “He wanted the tin man to notice him.”

While America was enjoying that gay humor in a positive way, Anita Bryant was not. The actress and singer who had several Top 40 hits like “Paper Roses,” was leading an anti-gay crusade across the United States in 1977, when she learned an ordinance from Miami was going to pass a law that prohibited discrimination against sexual orientation. Anita had been well-known for the Florida orange juice commercials that she appeared in and was also the spokes- model for that industry. When that law was passed, she spearheaded “Save Our Children,” the first organized campaign against gays. There was such uproar by the gay community that their supporters boycotted orange juice. Many gay bars took the citrus drink off their shelves, and when someone ordered a Screwdriver — which was vodka and orange juice — they replaced the OJ with apple juice. They named this new drink “The Anita Bryant.” The profits from that drink went to gay rights activists to fight against her campaign.

That September, an organization called Save Our Human Rights, held a benefit at the Hollywood Bowl. Bette Midler, Richard Pryor, and Lily Tomlin entertained in The Star Spangled Night for Rights. Other singers and actors who came out that night to show their support included Paul Newman, Olivia Newton-John, Helen Reddy, and Robert Blake. Paul did not attend, but he signed the petition, which had signatures from many other celebrities.

Back in 1961, Kaye and Paul had performed in a skit together on
The Perry Como Show.
It was a spoof on the game show,
To Tell The Truth
where Paul played a lady wrestler named Marilyn Fredrickson. Paul was always naturally funny, but when he spoke as if he was this female wrestling champion, the live audience screamed. Years later, Kaye was on the show
Make Em Laugh
and said the public knew Paul was gay, but they thought about it in a funny way. She felt that was what they loved about him. She said on that show, “Paul would have loved to come out, and he could have been the first to really score.”

Chapter 14

“I feel like I exposed my soul.”

Paul Lynde

“And now the award for Outstanding Achievement in Television,” announced Gabe Kaplan, on May 17, 1979, from the Lincoln Center in New York, “And the Emmy goes to….Mr. Paul Lynde.” Paul stepped up to the stage and clutched the six pound, twelve and a half ounces of copper, nickel, silver, and gold statue of the prized winged lady in his hand and with all his sarcastic venom he spurted, “Have I finally won an award?…“Yeeeeeeeees!” he proudly answered his own question, grinning. This was his fourth nomination for an Emmy and though he was thrilled he was the winner, he felt it was long overdue.

Paul celebrated his new prize with his sister, Helen, and six friends for a dinner party at his home. Jan Forbes flew in for the occasion. She had been in the company with her buddy’s big sister over the decades, and it never seized to amaze her how different the two were. She found Helen to be quite serious and didn’t think she had much of a sense of humor, like her brother. Both Helen and Jan looked forward to the dinner the host was planning to cook, beef stroganoff with vodka. Paul had Jan take a ride with him to an expensive supermarket in Beverly Hills. After collecting the items for the dinner, they went to the checkout counter. When the cashier handed him the bill, he was flabbergasted. It was $110.00! Paul looked at Jan and said, “Ha-ha, for $110 we should have gone out.”

He occasionally would order his groceries by phone, and according to his housekeeper, Tim Noyle, a clerk at the store did not recognize his name and asked him again, “Who is this?”

The offended celebrity answered, “Paul Lynde, the movie star.”

Over the decades, Jan would also travel to New York to visit her college buddy when he came at Christmas time. She and her husband, Joel, would join Paul for a visit in his suite at the Pierre, along with other friends he had invited. He liked to attend midnight mass at St. Bartholomew’s Episcopalian church on Park Avenue. He would usually have a second Christmas with his relatives and his friends when he returned to the west coast.

Occasionally, Paul would fly to Philadelphia to visit Jan at her home in Pittsburgh. Over the years, he had watched his fellow alumni’s children grow up, and now her daughter, Meredith, was getting married. Paul danced with the bride on that cold December day and returned to the Forbes’s home that night. The next day, he packed his things and was heading out the door to catch his plane, when Jan told her friend she had some very good news from her daughter. Meredith received word that TWA was going to hire her as a flight attendant. “Now I can get a pass and come out to see you,” Jan said excitedly.

Paul looked at her seriously and said, “But Jan, I’ve already seen you.”

Paul took a trip to Key West. He met up with Dick Duane, who he had first met in New York in the 1950s. Now they mingled with the same circle of friends in the Keys. Paul often frequented Captain Tony’s on Greene Street for drinks. It was originally called Sloppy Joes Bar where Ernest Hemmingway frequented in the mid-1930s. Other famous writers, artists, and celebrities often stopped in there, and the owner would honor them by painting their name on a bar stool. There was one for Hemingway, JKF, Elizabeth Taylor, Truman Capote, and now there was a stool for Paul. According to Dick, one time Paul had too many drinks and began saying not-so-nice things. Tony had put up with Paul’s behavior in the past, but today he had enough. He took out his paintbrush, dipped it in paint, walked over to Paul’s bar stool and wiped out his name. Then he escorted him out the door.

Paul was outraged and yelled, “You can’t do this, I’m a star!”

In which Tony shouted back, “
Everyone
in Key West is a star.”

Another day, Dick and Paul were out with a mutual friend named Tom. Tom always dressed in white: white shirt, white jacket, white pants, and he had even had white hair. Paul was angry at Tom one day and turned to him in the middle of the argument and said, “Look at you, all dressed in white, looking like a big glass of milk. I’ll bet your underwear is just filthy!”

According to Dick, no matter what Paul did, he was just so forgivable because he was vulnerable and because he was Paul. He exposed himself and would do anything to make people laugh. He’d make fun, but he was not malicious. He was an entertainer and never let the party die.

Before Paul was handed his Emmy, he had completed two television specials that year. In March, he starred in
Paul Lynde at the Movies,
where he played a movie critic with guests Vicki Lawrence (Carol Burnett Show), Robert Ulrich, Gary Coleman, and Betty White. According to Betty, Paul was the funniest gay man she ever knew. She enjoyed working with him and said, “He always gave back.” The master of ceremonies even had his faithful poodle, Alfred, make an appearance on that show.

That spring, Paul did his fifth and final special,
Paul Lynde Goes M-a-a-ad.
Vicki Lawrence joined him again, and his other guests were Marie Osmond and Charo, whose trade mark expression was “Cuchi-cuchi.”

On June 12, 1979, Paul went to work as usual for another taping of
The Hollywood Squares.
When the cameras stopped rolling, he stood up in his center square, lit a Moore’s cigarette, walked down the spiral steps, and out the studio doors. He did not let anyone know it, but he had made the decision to finally break out of that box. He quit.

The next day was the start of the summer break for
The Hollywood Squares
show’s employees, and Paul had plans to do what he usually did each summer: he starred in a theatrical production. He was heading on the road to perform Woody Allen’s play “Don’t Drink the Water,” at the E. J. Thomas Hall in Akron, Ohio, which he also did back in 1970. When he arrived, he had lunch with friend and columnist, Earl Wilson, who had done several interviews with him over the years and was a big fan. The interviewee explained that he was ready for something new. He was an actor and believed that all actors wanted to do movies. He credited
The Hollywood Squares
for all the fame and doors it opened for him and then told the reporter he was leaving the show. Earl wrote that he was shocked and even more amazed that the anchorman of that show for the past nine years was telling
him
before he even told the producers.

Paul had been feeling unusually exhausted and weak since he arrived in Akron. He was meeting his manager for lunch. When his manager took one look at his client, he became alarmed. The actor’s face was discolored, and he looked ill. He urged his client to get over to Akron General Medical Center immediately.

Paul never wanted to disappoint his fans, but he had no energy left and knew he had to cancel or he might collapse. The producer called Lou Jacobi to replace the ailing actor. Lou had starred in the original Broadway play, and he arrived in time for the show. Paul hated being in the hospital. “A rich man in the hospital is the same as a rich man in jail and I’ve been in both,” he later said. “You have no friends and no one can help you.” The doctor diagnosed the star with hepatitis. He was treated and released with strict orders to take it slow and cut out the booze. He rested another week, then resumed his tour in Detroit, and onto Indianapolis, Atlanta, and Dallas.

Paul was feeling better, although he was a little apprehensive about playing to Georgia’s capital. He had never performed there and was flabbergasted when he saw the size of the theatre in Atlanta, “You could play Aida with elephants,” he told a few reporters. He thought he and his costars would look like ants on the stage and feared it would not play well, but it did, according to Paul, though one critic wrote negatively about it. The demand was so high to see the show, that two extra nights were added.

Most places that Paul performed his show at had welcomed the star with great enthusiasm, but some nights the show did not do as well as others. He did not think it was due to his performance because he said his acting did not deviate that much. He knew from the very first lines he spoke how the rest of the play would go. Most of the time, he only had to say a line or two and he would collapse audiences. When there was only a hint of chuckles, he knew the night would be strenuous. Sometimes, he was able to rouse the paying spectators, and if he couldn’t, it took everything in him not to shout, “Oh my goodness, is anyone in the audience awake?”

When he reached the city of Dallas, he was overwhelmed by their hospitality. Many Texans were so friendly that they came up to him and invited him out for dinner and drinks. One man took his watch off and put it on Paul’s wrist and told him that would be a reminder for what time to be at the party he was throwing for him.

As word got out that Paul had left
The Hollywood Squares,
some newspapers explained his reason for leaving was to do other projects and some wrote it was because he was still recuperating from his bout with hepatitis. Paul actually had recovered and was feeling fine, until he saw the front page of the
National Enquirer:

see page two: Paul Lynde’s Drinking Problem.

He had been shopping in his local supermarket and was at the checkout counter when he saw his name. He grabbed the paper, turned the page, and his jaw dropped. He could not understand where the paper got the information from. The article implied he was fired for drinking and being nasty on the show. He was so angry at that paper that he called his lawyer and filed a lawsuit.

Paul took a trip to Florida in January 1980, and according to Richard Perkins, he and a few friends attended the opening of The Tennessee Williams Fine Arts Theater, where Paul was invited as the visiting celebrity. The streets were filled with search lights, crowds of people, police, and other notables. It looked like a Hollywood premiere. As Richard pulled up in his fancy two-toned-colored luxurious Lincoln, reporters came running over to the car and began snapping his picture. Paul, who was in a car next to Richard, saw what was happening and poked his head out of the window. “No, no, over here!” he yelled, “He’s nobody.”

Paul loved attention, but some attention he could do without. He had just finished a matinee show in Flint, Michigan, that year, and he was sitting at a table doing his ritual of signing “love and laughter always” and chatting with fans. Paul Barresi, who was one of the cast members, noticed something peculiar about the movements of one of the men in line. The man appeared to be in his early twenties, and he had blonde hair and a thin build. As he was moving up in the line, getting closer to the star, Barresi inched nearer to observe him. He saw that the man was holding tightly to his autograph book and detected a blade-like item in the book. Barresi realized Paul was in danger. As Paul was busy writing, Barresi leaped toward the man and put him in a choke hold, forcing the six-inch steel weapon from his hand. The sharp instrument dropped to the floor. It was a letter opener. The scuffle caused other workers at the theater to surround the perpetrator. They asked the terror-stricken star if he wanted to press charges. He said he did not want the police called, so Barresi physically escorted the man out of the building.

Later that evening, Paul called Barresi “his hero,” and from that day on he became his bodyguard and close friend. Besides being an actor, Barresi was a film director, had appeared as a centerfold in
Playgirl,
and was also an exercise trainer. He became Paul’s fitness coach as well.

Paul continued with his tour, doing Neil Simon’s
Plaza Suites,
and despite that incident, he signed autographs for all the fans and never let on how upset he was. Beverly Sanders, the singer and actress who was also known for being in many television commercials, played his leading lady. He took some friends out for dinner after one of the shows one night and only had one glass of wine.

Paul had only done a few guest appearances since he left
Squares,
and he was worried that the public would forget him. He also knew he deserved more money than the other panelists on
Squares,
and a part of what had fueled Paul to leave the show, after so many threats, was when he learned that the host of the show was making more money than he was. Peter thought the center square deserved more pay.

Paul later explained to a reporter that he quit the show because he was getting tired. He was tired that his acting skills were limited to a game show. The roles he played in his last two movies were similar to the way he was seen on television. In
Rabbit Test,
Billy Crystal played the first man to ever become pregnant, Paul played a doctor, and his nurse was played by Alice Ghostley. (This was Billy Crystal’s first movie.) Some of the other actors in the film included Roddy McDowell and Michael Keaton. It was directed by Joan Rivers and Jay Redreck, and it was produced by Joan’s husband, Edgar Rosenberg.

The last movie Paul would ever do,
The Villain,
was a parody of Westerns. Some of the other actors who starred with him were Kirk Douglas, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ann-Margret, and Foster Brooks. He was again typecast. He played Chief Ner-r-r-vous Elks. Neither film was that big role that Paul had been wishing for.

Despite having a thirty-year career, which was a triumph for any actor, Paul still did not feel satisfied. He also had no one special in his life. He dated, but seemed not to pick the right partner. However, the mail, which never stopped coming, lifted his spirits. His fans continued to tell him to keep making them laugh. Paul succumbed to the fact that was what he was meant to do. After a quiet year, he was asked by the producers of
Squares
to come back. He couldn’t take not working steadily and agreed, but had a few stipulations. His demands were met and he was given a substantial salary; instead of being paid $750 per day for taping a week’s worth of shows, like the other panelist were paid, he was paid $1,500 per day. His new contract also allowed him to take time off if he wanted to do other projects, and he was even given equal billing with the host of the show.