H
ayden Prescott was sitting on her porch when she pulled up in her driveway.
Thankfully her mom and dad were out to dinner. Rekindling the romance or some bull like that. They’d started having date nights a few weeks ago and she had to admit, her mom was smiling an awful lot more lately. And this way her dad couldn’t run Hayden off with his overprotective nonsense. As if her dad had any idea what went on in her life.
“Hey,” she said, getting out of her truck. Seeing him made her feel ten pounds lighter. He looked so beautiful sitting there in the light of sunset. But it made her nervous too. Afraid that her dad had gotten his dad into some type of trouble.
“Hey,” Hayden said, standing from the porch swing and meeting her at the edge the steps. “I was actually waiting on your mom.”
“She’s on a date with my dad.” EJ rolled her eyes and fidgeted with her truck keys, twirling the silver ring slowly around her fingers.
“I haven’t been here long. I just came by to let her know I won’t be working here this summer like we’d discussed. Not that your dad would’ve allowed it anyway.”
A solid stone settled into the pit of EJ’s stomach. “Oh. Well, okay. I can pass that message along.”
“Thanks.” He stepped down off the porch as if he were just going to leave now. Like that was all he’d come for and now he was done. If that were the case, couldn’t he just have called? As much as she didn’t want to admit it—even to herself—she preferred sitting outside talking to him versus going into her big empty house all alone.
“Not that it’s any of my business, but why won’t you be working here? I mean, other than because my dad is an ass?”
Hayden smiled but it wasn’t his usual genuine grin. Only one side of his mouth moved. “I’ve registered for summer courses at OSU. I’m heading there right after graduation.”
“Ah.” Her throat constricted but she didn’t know why. It wasn’t like she’d been looking forward to spending the summer with him. She hadn’t even known he’d planned to work there again. And yet it felt like she was losing something she hadn’t even known she’d had. “Well good luck. At OSU, I mean.”
“Thanks.” He paused for a long moment, staring at her intently until she began fidgeting more under his gaze. “Can I ask you something?”
“Would it really stop you if I said no?”
Hayden chuckled, but there was no joy in his laughter. “Probably not. I just need to know…I mean, why Kent? Why spend so much time with someone who could care less about—”
“That’s why,” she interrupted. “He doesn’t care about who I was or what I lost or what I have or haven’t done. No pressure. No expectations. Clean slate.”
She’d asked Jarrod why he was so nice to her, why he never made a move on her when his reputation indicated he was such a player.
He’d answered by telling her that no matter what EJ had heard, he’d never made a girl do anything she hadn’t wanted to—though sometimes girls had regrets when it came to hindsight. Specifically when their parents found out what they’d been up to. And then he’d said something that EJ hadn’t been able to get out of her head for months.
“Because you’re just like me. Dead inside. I can see it in your eyes. It wouldn’t matter if I made a move or not. You wouldn’t feel a thing.”
He was right, and the truth was a terrifying monster she usually kept shoved under her bed.
Hayden nodded. “For what it’s worth, I cared about those things because I cared about you. I just wanted you to be happy.”
She tried to smile but her face seemed to be against the idea. He’d said ‘cared.’ As in past tense. She figured she deserved that. He had enough to deal with, no reason he should still be hung up on her when she hadn’t given him the time of day. “I know. But I needed you to understand that it wasn’t possible. I couldn’t be happy just because everyone wanted me to be.”
She hated that her pain had been his pain too. Standing there looking at him and remembering their summer together, she wished she could find a way to try harder, to reach deep inside and find that girl she once was and be her again.
“I understand. I do.” He looked away for a few minutes, his eyes scanning the property as if he were reliving their long lost summer one last time as well. “I have finals then I’m done so if I don’t see you…”
“I’ll see you at graduation,” EJ offered. “My family will go to watch Cooper walk so…”
“Cooper,” Hayden repeated evenly. “Of course. Well I’ll see you around I guess.” He opened his mouth and then closed it again as if there was more but he’d decided to keep it to himself. She watched as he walked to his Jeep.
“Hayden, wait.”
There was so much she wanted to say and if she’d learned anything from losing Kyle it was that you didn’t always get a second chance to say it.
He paused, leaning on his open door. “Yeah?”
“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for how things—”
“Save it,” Hayden said, cutting her off and turning away from her. “I don’t need your apologies. I never did. Take care of yourself, Ella Jane.” With that he climbed in his Jeep and cranked the engine.
“You too,” she said softly, wondering if he’d even heard her before he drove away.
“W
hy are you making this so hard?”
That night she lay in bed contemplating the past twenty-four hours. It was raining. The storm drain ran right beside her bedroom window, causing the steady beat to feel personal. Antagonistic even.
She hated rain, hated storms, and despised Mother Nature with a fiery passion.
When she’d taken the boots Kyle had bought to Cameron, she’d asked her the same question Cooper had. They were the very same words her dad repeated so often they were ingrained in her mind.
Everything she did was wrong.
Fighting with her dad made her mom cry.
Cooper was moving on and tired of keeping up with her crap.
Getting wasted with Jarrod Kent was a temporary fix that later made her feel sick and ashamed.
She’d caused Hayden’s family some kind of trouble she couldn’t even fully comprehend and now he was leaving.
The thought of returning to that school, to her fake family situation, to her sorry excuse for a life, for one more minute, was nearly incapacitating.
The answer seemed so simple that she didn’t know why she hadn’t done it sooner. No one would miss her. Her mom was busying herself rebuilding the family business, her dad was practically glued to her side, and Ella Jane honestly didn’t have a friend to speak of. Hayden had finally given up on her, Cooper had fallen for Cameron Nickelson, and Kyle was gone forever.
She just couldn’t do it anymore. She couldn’t be a walking, talking, living, breathing reminder of everyone’s pain—including her own—for another minute.
There was only one way out. It was time she got brave enough to take it.
“P
izza or Chinese food?” Cooper looked at the takeout menus on the counter. Mama Sulley’s would deliver, even way out where he lived, but if she wanted her fried rice and crab wantons, he’d have to call it in and go pick it up.
“Um, I don’t know. Maybe ask Sam and Will and let them decide. Either is fine with me, babe.”
Cooper smiled. She’d said it so simply.
Babe.
But there she was, in one of his old racing shirts and torn jeans. Granted, they’d probably been torn when she bought them, but still. He appreciated the thought behind it. Casual Cameron. Comfy Cameron tucked beneath his arm on the couch watching a movie. Not fidgeting or nervous or worried about the weather. Here because she wanted to be. Because she wanted to be with him.
Despite all of the odds being against them, they were officially a couple. They hadn’t discussed what had happened a few weeks ago with Ella Jane catching them in bed together, but Cameron had let it go and for that Coop was grateful. For once, things were finally going his way.
In a few weeks, they’d graduate high school, and then their lives might move in different directions—but they’d discussed it. Cameron was going to OSU to study meteorology and Cooper was going to start working full time at the docks. His parents had secured loans from the bank and one of his aunts in Colorado, and actually owning the farm and replacing the damaged equipment was no longer a vague possibility but a likely probability. They were currently out to dinner celebrating while Cooper and Cameron kept an eye on Will and Sam.
Life was good.
Yet Cooper had a nagging feeling—nothing too alarming, just a strange unsettled feeling that he chalked up to the old adage that things that seemed too good to be true probably were. And then there were always the few ounces of residual grief and guilt that never truly went away. Kyle wasn’t alive anymore, Ella Jane was still distancing herself from him, and Cooper knew he’d probably never have that kind of friendship with anyone ever again. He hoped like hell Ellie May would forgive him for losing it on her. He’d called and texted, but so far, his apologies had gone unanswered. She’d avoided him at school and wouldn’t even look him in the eye when he tried to talk to her.
Cameron was frowning at her phone when he stepped into the living room with the menus and yelled for his brothers.
“Everything okay?”
She nodded while tucking her phone into the side of the couch. “Yeah. Everything’s great.”
Cooper was about to inquire further because she certainly didn’t
look
as if everything were okay, but the boys bounded down the stair with the subtly of a herd of cattle.
“Pizza, meat lovers,” Sam called out in support of his dinner choice. “Extra sauce.”
“No way.” Will scoffed. “We had pizza twice last week. Can’t we grill or something? There are steaks in the freezer.”
“No time for them to thaw, buddy.” Cooper shrugged. “But we could do burgers on the grill. There’s ground chuck in the fridge.”
“Burgers are fine,” Will agreed.
“Burgers okay, Cam?”
Cameron didn’t answer.
“Cameron?”
She looked up from the phone she must’ve gotten back out while he had been debating dinner with his brothers, a strangely guilty expression on her face. She bit her lip and nodded. “I’m not actually all that hungry, so you guys just get whatever.”
Before he had time to say anything about her sudden change in demeanor, she’d returned her attention to her phone.
“Burgers it is, then,” Cooper said quietly. “Fellas, go wash up then you can help me get the grill ready. I’ll see if there’s any chips left in the pantry.”
Once the boys were gone, he sat down next to her on the couch. Her phone disappeared as if she’d suddenly become a magician. “Is there something you want to talk about?”
He knew her parents weren’t thrilled about her seeing him, just like he knew Ella Jane wasn’t too thrilled about it either. But everyone else could build a bridge and get over it. This was his life and right now he was with the girl who needed him, the one
he
needed.
“Nothing. It’s nothing. Sorry. Did we decide on dinner? Chinese food sounds great.”
Cooper sighed. “Okay. I’ll order your usual and go pick it up once I’ve made the boys some burgers.”
“Sounds good.” Cameron gave a blatantly forced smile.
Standing and making his way back into the kitchen, Coop flipped open the menu from Mr. Chen’s. He lifted his cell phone from the counter and pressed the screen. Alerts for two missed calls from his dad and one text message from Ella Jane greeted him.
He clicked the text. What he saw didn’t make sense. He stared at the image for a full minute, or maybe a full hour, before reading the words.
Ask her about him.
That’s all it said. But it was the picture that he couldn’t tear his eyes from.
Kyle and Cameron. Cameron and Kyle.
She was smiling and he was kissing the side of her face.
Kyle kissing Cameron.
His Cameron, who apparently wasn’t his Cameron after all.
The realization came on slow but hit him hard. The mystery girl from the Bluffs, the one his best friend had fallen in love with, the one he’d been so sure loved him even though she’d blown him off, the one who’d changed everything Kyle thought he knew about Summit Bluffs girls, was sitting in his living room.
The pact he’d made with his best friend to never
ever
let a girl come between them, to never even so much as flirt with one if the other liked her, to never make a move on one the other had dated or been interested in, played in his head again and again. His fists clenched at his sides and he realized that he was jealous of—and angry with—his dead best friend. He couldn’t even begin to contemplate precisely how messed up that was.
It wasn’t until the ringing started that Cooper returned to the present.
But it wasn’t his phone ringing. It was the doorbell. He didn’t look at her as he walked to his front door. He didn’t look at anything. He could hardly see straight.
How long was she going to lie to him? Was she playing him? Was this some sick game of hers? A way of remaining close to Kyle?
Nothing in his head was good at the moment so he said nothing.
Steely blue eyes rimmed with red evidence of tears were the first things he saw when he opened the door.