Path of Destruction (15 page)

Did she?
Did she really know how badly Cami had wanted to be on the beach last summer? If she’d been on that beach, she never would have met and lost Kyle, she never would have been out in the middle of nowhere during the worst storm Calumet County had ever seen, and she sure as shit wouldn’t have been sitting there begging for the Xanax she’d stolen from her mother’s purse to kick in.

“We are going to have a great time,” Theresa had insisted. “You and me on the beach. Maybe a daiquiri or two?” her mother nudged her with a chuckle. “Just us girls going wild.” She winked. As if tempting her with permission to drink as a minor was going to be the cherry on top of her mother’s pseudo spring break fantasy.

“Can’t wait.” Cami had forced a smile and tried not to roll her eyes. She’d been trying really hard to be the daughter her parents wanted, but nothing about the trip—or her life for that matter—was making her feel better. Feel whole. She’d lost too much to feel whole.

And she couldn’t stop thinking about what the announcement on the last day of school meant for her. Brantley Cooper was staying at Summit Bluffs for the rest of the year. She tried hard to ignore how positively elated that made her feel.

So as her mother sat at a poolside bar, flirting with a bartender half her age, Cami sneaked off to the beach. The warm waters rushed up over her feet, then her ankles, as she made her way further and further into the water. The sun kissed the line where the water met the sky. Its color deepened to an angry mix of pink and orange before it started to disappear into the water completely.

Must be nice.

Cami felt some of the tension in her body ease with every step she made out into that water. Her soft, yellow sundress floated up around her hips as the water embraced her legs. Taking in a deep breath she inched further out, digging her feet into the sand below, and matching the setting sun’s pace. What reason did she have not to fade away with the sun? She could just keep walking until it was too late to turn back. Out to where the choice was taken away from her.

She hated being at school, hated most of the people she had to deal with on a daily basis and, most of all, hated feeling so pathetic all the time. Quickly splashing her face with water to drown the tears that streaked it, she continued her walk to salvation. At least if she was gone, she wouldn’t have to worry about the stupid weather or if she was happy.

Because she did.

She worried every day about if she was going to start being happy again. The thoughts of seeing the one person that made her completely and totally happy beckoned to her. She could be with him again. Or at least she hoped. It would be a sick and twisted, cruel fate if there was no afterlife with him. If he wasn’t waiting on the other side to greet her. To save her from herself.

She wondered how long it would take her mother to notice she was gone? An hour? A day?

She looked back at the beach. The resort crowd from the day had all left the beach. The only person she could see was hundreds of feet from her and more concerned about throwing a stick to his dog to even glance in her direction.

As the water rose past her shoulders, she took in a deep breath before letting herself be completely submerged. Willing her body not to fight it, she let herself sink. The last few beams of sunlight teased her from above when she opened her eyes and looked up.

Just let it out. Let it out and breathe in.

She waited to see him again. To hear his voice like she had the night of the storm. Surely he’d come for her. Letting a few air bubbles escape her lips, she begged her body to just let it all out. Her scream echoed under the water and her body tensed.

She wanted nothing more than to drink in the water and let her fill her lungs—to really just let go once and for all.

But…she couldn’t. A voice finally spoke to her, but not the one she was expecting. Just like the sunlight begging her to come up for air, a warm, penetrating voice summoned her.

“You’re okay. You’re going to be okay.” Brantley’s voice felt like a whisper in her ear, even underwater. She could feel her lungs begging for air. As quickly as she’d let herself sink, she moved her arms and kicked her feet thrusting her body to the surface and taking in a much-needed breath. “Come on, Prom Queen. It will all be okay. You’re going to be just fine.”

“Am I?” she asked between pants.

When her body had finally soothed itself, she let her head fall back into the water. Stretching her legs out to float on the surface, she looked up at the dusky sky and wondered if she would ever really be okay. The tide carried her toward the shoreline, but she felt like the pieces of her that she needed to feel complete were still out there under the surface of the water somewhere.

After stomping back to the villa she was sharing with her mother, Cami was greeted by nothing but the cold tile floors. It sure beat walking in on her mother engaged in some sort of romp with the bartender. Neither of her parents was faithful to the other, but it wasn’t until Cami had fallen in love for the first time that she’d seen just how odd it was.

To each, his own, and all that, but she couldn’t stand the thought of someone she truly loved cheating on her or vice versa. The image of Brantley Cooper wrapped up with Ella Jane overtook her imagination and she felt her stomach twist.

“You don’t even know him,” she reminded herself.

Somehow, during her pathetic suicide attempt, she’d let herself keep thinking about the boy whose voice she’d heard in the water. Not the voice she’d anticipated. Not Kyle, the one person she wanted to save her even though she knew he couldn’t.

She felt a rush of anger fall on her. Why in the world was she letting herself think about Brantley Cooper? How dare he try and take Kyle’s place. Sure, he reminded her of what she lost with his dirt road ways and small town charm, but he wasn’t Kyle. She knew that and she didn’t want him to be. All he was was a distraction. Someone to pass the time with when she couldn’t see straight. That’s it.

Her subconscious didn’t seem to think so, letting a phantom farm boy pull her from the water. Pull her back to the reality she was trying to escape. What in hell was happening? She stripped out of her wet clothes and pulled on one of the bathrobes the resort had provided.

Grabbing her phone to dial a familiar number, she fell onto the bed. She needed some kind of clarity that she was going crazy.

“Hey, Cami-girl. How’s the beach treating you?” His voice calmed her nerves when he finally answered her phone call.

“It’s okay,” she told him. “Nothing like a forced family vacation to help put this superficial life into perspective.”

“I’ll see your forced family fun,” Hayden chuckled, “and your self-righteous parents and raise you one delusional grandma.”

“You got me,” she giggled. It was nice to talk to someone who actually understood how she felt. Even if Hayden didn’t know everything that she’d been through—a secret she purposefully kept to herself—he always seemed to make her feel better. Or at least normal. “You could have come to the beach with me,” she reminded him. “Would have thrilled my mother to have another underage guy to flirt with.”

“Theresa’s still up to her old tricks, huh?”

“Oh yeah. She’s in rare form today. I actually saw her let a guy do a body shot off her the other night. One of her finer moments.”

“Well, damn. I’m a little sad I missed that.”

“Don’t be,” Cami insisted. “It was mortifying.”

“Your mom’s hot. Can’t blame her for wanting to show off what the good Lord gave her.”

The good Lord hadn’t had anything to do with her mom’s assets. More like the good doctor.

“Seriously?” she deadpanned. “I called you because I thought we were friends.”

“I’m just giving you shit, Cami.” His laughter echoed through the phone. “You can always call me. You know that.”

“I know.” And she did.

Part of her had hoped she and Hayden could pick up their romantic relationship where they’d left off last school year, as they always had before, but the summer had changed everything. Being friends was much more in their wheelhouse. Not just friends. Best friends. They understood each other in a way no one else could.

“So what did you want to talk about?”

So many things ran through her mind. Should she tell him how sad she was? Tell him that she considered literally drowning her sorrows? Tell him about Kyle Mason?

She couldn’t. He had so much stuff to worry about with his own life and family that she knew burdening him with hers wouldn’t be fair.

“I just needed to hear a familiar voice,” she finally said. She pulled the phone away from her face just incase a small sob broke loose. “It’s lonely here.”

“Cami.” His voice was heavy with concern and she knew he could tell something was up. “You sure you’re okay?

“I’m fine. I promise.”

“If there’s something you need to say, you should say it now.”

“There’s not,” she lied. “Really, I’m fine. This trip has just been overwhelming.”

“I’m serious. You can’t keep it all bottled up. I know that you’re strong, but it takes a lot of strength to ask for help too. Doesn’t make you weak. I promise.”

“I know,” she said, wondering if she really did. “So what else is happening back in the Bluffs?” she asked, needing to change the subject.

“Same old shit,” he said, masking his distain with a chuckle. “My parents are still pushing for Gran to be put in a home. They actually thought buying me a jet ski would make me change my mind on sending her away. They are literally the most pretentious assholes on the planet.”

“Join the club,” she agreed. Sadly, she could remember a time when Hayden would’ve happily taken them up on their offer and she would have been thrilled to be spending Christmas break in St. Tropez. Her and Hayden’s parents were shameless, and before the storm, their kids were products of their environment. But now, everything was…different. She was different. Hayden was different.

With all the changes, it felt good to just have a friend. Someone who understood. The friends she had thought she had had all shown their true colors, and Hayden was just about the only person she trusted. As much as she trusted him, she still hadn’t told him a thing about Kyle Mason, or Brantley Cooper, for that matter. Not that there was much to tell about Brantley.

“I volunteered to help rebuild the church in Hope’s Grove just to get away from my dad. How messed up is that? Me, volunteering for manual labor. It’s hard to believe, right?”

“Not that hard,” Cami told him. “You’ve got a good heart, Hay. I know you want to rebuild that church for your grandpa.”

“When did you get so smart, Cami-girl?”

“I have my moments,” she joked. “So you’re going to Hope’s Grove on Monday?”

“Yeah. I gotta get out of this house for a while and I really do want to help rebuild the place. Why?”

“I thought maybe I could catch a ride. We’re coming home tomorrow and there’s a little boutique there that has some really cute vintage stuff I want to look at.” She covered the truth with a lie that she knew he wouldn’t question. Hayden’s fashion sense was spot-on for a guy, but when it came to female clothes shopping, he had little interest.

The truth was that since the tornado had hit, there had been a grief counselor on call at the small-town clinic Monday through Wednesday. She’d read about it in a copy of the Calumet County Herald that had been sitting on a table during a social committee meeting a few weeks earlier.

The idea of making an appointment hadn’t been appealing at first, but maybe Hayden was right. Maybe what she needed to do was talk about how and what she was feeling. If she was going to take a step in that direction, she preferred her first time to be with a doctor that wasn’t on the Summit Bluffs Clinic payroll—and probably friends with her parents—as well as in a neutral location. She didn’t know many people from Hope’s Grove, and there was good chance she could fly in under the radar for her first therapy session.

“Sure thing,” Hayden agreed. “See you on Monday.”

E
lla Jane tried. She really did. For the last two weeks before holiday break, she’d tried her hardest to listen to teachers droning on about thesis statements and proper citations and polynomials and catalysts and sulfuric acids. Yet first semester ended and she had three incompletes in core subjects. Her dad was super pissed, but her mom was… Well, Millie Mason wasn’t exactly living in the here and now. With each passing day, her gaze and attention drifted further from the present. EJ often caught her humming songs she used to sing when she and Kyle were children, while staring off into the distance or at family photo albums.

For as much energy as EJ had exerted forcing herself to show up, to stay still and attentive during class, nothing sank in. None of it mattered to her, no matter how many “You are ruining your life and everyone else’s in the process” speeches her dad gave.

When the vice principal had announced on the last day of school that there was no way out, no escaping the hell that was Summit Bluffs High School, Ella Jane had fled to the ladies’ room and thrown up her lunch. Her parents weren’t thrilled about it, but rumors were circulating about what this would mean for property values, and her dad had mentioned selling the house and moving to the city more than once. Of course. Because then he’d be closer to his girlfriend.