Past Regrets: Love and Friendship, Book 2 (11 page)

Ryan knuckle-bumped with his friend, delight at his wife’s concern still tickling him. “Julia is worried about my weight loss. What are you doing here?”

“I thought you might want your guitar and music before I left.” Caleb checked to see if anyone might overhear him. “I told you she sneaks glances at you when she thinks you won’t notice. Was she okay about you turning up this morning?”

“She’s letting me move into the apartment with her.”

“Way to go!” Another knuckle-bump ensued.

“I’m in the spare bedroom,” Ryan said. “But it’s a start.”

“Good going. Are you working on our arrangements this morning?”

“I think so. I didn’t get around to asking Julia how much she wants to charge us for rehearsal space.”

“We can help her with some of her renovation work. I wonder if she’ll let me help with hiring the dancers.”

Ryan let out a snort. “Good luck with that.”

With coffee and sandwiches in hand, he and Caleb wandered over to the table of friends. It was almost like hanging out with the band given the energy pulsing through the air and the feeling of solidarity. The positive vibe was addictive, and for the first time in months, Ryan experienced normal and grounded instead of drifting outside himself. Obviously his heart had known something—someone—was missing even if his brain remained clueless.

“Caleb brought my guitar and music before he heads off to Tauranga.” Ryan edged around the table so he stood by Julia.
Sick puppy
. But now he’d found her again, he was only truly comfortable when he was near her. No doubt a psychologist would have a ball dissecting the confidence.

“I’m finished.” Susan pushed her partially eaten plate away. “I can’t eat all this if I want to look good for the reality show.”

“You’ll need the energy,” Julia said. “I intend to work you hard and crack the whip if you slacken. And then I’ll start the dance training. You said you wanted to learn, right?”

And work them, she did.

Exhaustion dogged Ryan’s steps during the late afternoon. He and Julia’s friend, Connor, had spent most of the day preparing the walls for painting, perched on ladders and removing the heavy velvet curtains.

“That’s the last one.” Connor dropped the red velvet, and it crashed to the ground with a huge cloud of dust. He sneezed before climbing down the ladder.

Ryan scanned the walls. Although years of smoke had discolored the white paint, the curtains had shielded the surfaces too. “A good scrub might be enough,” he said. “The paint isn’t peeling off anywhere.”

“I agree,” Connor said. “I don’t think it’s going to be the big job I envisaged.”

“That looks better,” Julia said, coming up behind him.

“What color are you painting it?” Connor asked.

Julia halted beside them, and once again the sense of rightness filled Ryan. “Christina suggested a deep midnight blue with borders of gold as accents. What do you think?”

“Sounds good,” Ryan said. “With a dark color, you might be able to project images onto the walls too.”

Julia seized his arm and squeezed, her eyes blazing with enthusiasm. “Great idea. I’ve been trying to work out how to make our acts and the club different and unique.”

“Good enough for a kiss?” He tapped a spot on his cheek, his breath hitching when he saw her hesitate. He’d done this to her, made her cautious. She wavered for so long the silence became uncomfortable.

Then she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him on the mouth.
Whoa!
Zero to a hundred in seconds flat. Urgency thrummed through him, his hands gripping her shoulders in case she decided to pull away. He took the kiss deeper, drinking her up like a thirsty man, savoring her heat and the press of her breasts against his chest, storing every single second to pull out later when he was alone.

“The girls have arrived for the auditions.” Maggie spoke loudly, right next to his ear. He started, pulled to the present and slackened his hold but didn’t release Julia entirely.

“Oh, good.” Maggie wrinkled her nose. “I thought I’d need a hose to separate the pair of you. Didn’t you hear me the first time? Only three dancers turned up from the agency. We don’t want them to get the wrong idea.”

“Thank you, Maggie,” Julia said.

Ryan winked at Julia, and she grinned back. Relief was a swift kick in the guts. His manhandling hadn’t scared her.

“I’d better check out these dancers,” she said. “Take a break or finish up for the day.” She strode away, and Ryan stared after her.

“You’ve got it bad for her,” Connor said.

“Yeah.” No denying the truth.

“If you hurt her, you’ll have me to deal with.” Connor’s hard gaze backed up his statement. “She—” He broke off, chagrin chasing across his face.

“What?”

“Under her tough exterior, she’s fragile. You want a drink or something to eat? I’m going for some fresh air.”

But he wasn’t inviting Ryan along. “I’m fine.” And because he wasn’t satisfied with the way the conversation had gone, he added, “I have no intention of hurting Julia.”

Connor held his gaze for a long second. “Make sure you don’t.”

A song with a good strong beat swelled through the air. The first woman started her routine, and it took Julia two minutes to decide she wouldn’t do. Julia held up her hand, a signal to Christina to stop the music.

“Where did you say you’d worked before?” Julia asked.

“The Purple Pussy.”

Julia tapped her pen against her notepaper. “If I decide to take you on, you’ll need to learn some new routines and attend training classes.”

“I know how to do a strip routine.”

Julia didn’t intend to argue. “Thank you. I’ve seen enough.”

The woman stomped away muttering under her breath.

The second and third women, both in their early twenties and dark-haired, performed their routines, the unoriginal, lackluster moves shoving Julia’s spirits even lower. She signaled for the music to stop and strode up on the stage. “Are you both willing to do some training?”

“That would be great,” the first said.

The second woman nodded. “I haven’t been dancing long. I love to learn new routines.”

“Excellent,” Julia said crisply. “We might as well start now.”

She strode up onto the stage and stood in front of a pole. “Start the music please, Christina.”

“Wait for us,” Maggie said, coming running. Susan followed swiftly behind and they took their places in front of a pole. Christina started the music and joined them. Julia took them through a grueling training session, starting with the basics just as her mother had shown her.

Finally, she took them through a cool-down and went over to stop the music.

“Next time I’m bringing my workout gear,” Maggie said. “That was harder than the gym sessions Connor designed for me.”

“You’ll need a pair of heels too. Black if possible, so that you get used to dancing in shoes rather than flats,” Julia said. “Guys love the appearance of a woman’s legs in heels.”

“I’ll vouch for that,” Ryan said.

Julia blew out a breath. “I didn’t realize you were still here.”

“Wouldn’t have missed it,” he said. “Great job. You girls are quick learners.”

“We have a way to go yet.” Julia turned to speak to her new employees. She didn’t seem to have put them off. “Can you both make it here around two tomorrow afternoon?”

They assured her they could and left.

“I’m not going to be able to move tomorrow,” Susan said. “My muscles are seizing up.”

“Take a hot bath when you get home,” Julia said. “I want you fighting fit tomorrow at nine.”

Her friends left for the day, leaving her alone with Ryan.

“What do you think?” she asked. “Is this fixable?” Although she’d hated working here and living above the club as a child, this time seemed different. The club was part of her family history, and she was the last of the Maxwell line. She owed it to her mother and the other family members who had worked to keep the place alive, despite the obstacles.

“As long as you can get the right staff,” Ryan said.

She nodded, glad he wasn’t offering platitudes. “That’s going to be the hardest part. None of those dancers were up to the standards Mum set when I worked here.”

“We’ll do it.”

“I thought you needed to work on your music. You did stuff for me all day.”

“I wrote a lot of music during the tour. While the others partied, I spent hours writing new material.”

“What about the photos on the Internet?”

“I went to some of the after concert parties, the ones I couldn’t get out of. You must know how the paparazzi operate. They pay women to drape themselves around us, and try to take off the masks we use when we do publicity. I try to discourage the touchy-feely stuff, but it doesn’t always work.”

A flash of the last photo she’d seen blasted to the forefront of her mind. The lip lock. Ryan’s hands gripping the woman’s shoulders and drawing her closer. A shudder went through her, and she tried to force the image away. It refused to shift, hovering like the smell of a putrid egg.

It wasn’t Ryan’s fault he’d come last in the line of rotten bad-boys. It wasn’t fair to cast him in the same group as the others who’d kicked her down when it suited them. Cheated, lied and given her an STD.
Her mind froze at the last thought, jagged pain hacking at her psyche.

“We always attend those parties in full disguise, using our masks instead of our stage makeup. How do you know it was me?”

She puffed out a hard breath, struggled to regain her equilibrium. “Please. You think I can’t recognize my husband when I see him?”

A little of the devil shone in his eyes again. “Good to know.”

“Besides, you all have your initials on the masks. I saw the D.”

“Oh.” The teasing left him, a trace of frustration coming to the surface. “The photo might have been manipulated or taken out of context. Some of the women test our boundaries.”

“Maybe.” Oh, he was quick. She turned away, unable to watch his expression. He said he hadn’t done it on purpose while she’d thought the suggestive photo was a sign he wanted out of their marriage.

He didn’t say anything of an accusatory nature, yet her lack of trust must have cut deep. An apology—it wouldn’t be enough. “I’m sorry. It was hard to hold onto trust when you were incommunicado. When you’re alone your mind starts twisting everything.”

“Don’t. Don’t, sweetheart.” He went to her, pulling her into the circle of his arms. She pressed her cheek against his chest, the ache in her chest so painful she wanted to cry out. She’d gone into her marriage with the intention of forever. But this—this showed her how little she’d invested in their marriage, how easily she’d given up on her husband.

“It’s all right,” Ryan murmured.

She lifted her head to stare at him. “How can it be?”

“We have a second chance,” he said. “Most people don’t get this opportunity, and we shouldn’t waste it.”

Chapter Seven

A new tension slithered through Julia’s veins now. Ten at night, and she and Ryan had arrived back at her apartment a few minutes ago. They’d stopped at the flat Ryan and Caleb shared in order for Ryan to pick up some of his gear. Now that the door closed behind them, her apartment seemed too intimate. Ryan’s scent ghosted around her, enticing and seductive. He took up space, the air in her kitchen.

“I’m knackered,” he said, holding his hands in the small of his back and leaning back. “I swear the painting prep was more exhausting than anything I’ve done this year.”

“You’ve used different muscles. Go and have a hot bath while I clear the spare room for you. The bathroom is down the passage on the right.”

“No, I’ll help.”

“Go and have a bath.” Sharp and terse. She bit her lip at the appearance of
Bitch Julia
. Consciously lowering her voice, she tried again. “If you use the bathroom first then I can jump into the shower straight away.”

He nodded, his sexy lips perking up into the beginnings of a smile. “You’ve seen me naked before.”

“Bathroom.” The sudden need to laugh tugged at her, and she pointed. “Go.” To her relief, he went and she waited until his footsteps faded before she sagged against the kitchen counter. She didn’t know how he did it. Yesterday morning she’d been so certain she wanted a divorce. Ryan was muddying her thoughts, confusing her. Now she didn’t know what she wanted, what to do for the best. He’d sounded sincere about the photos—she didn’t think he was lying.

With a sigh, she strode down the passage, paused to grab clean linen, and continued to her spare bedroom. He was splashing around in the water already, his husky voice singing a classic Jackson song. She smiled before she could stop herself. Heck, why didn’t she just admit the truth? In two days he’d managed to charm her all over again. She didn’t stand a chance.

Julia finished making the bed for Ryan and cleared away some of the surface clutter that had encroached into her guest room. Once she was satisfied, she went to her own room, collected her robe and paused. She sank onto her bed. No, as weak as she was feeling now, it wasn’t a good idea to walk into the bathroom and jump into the shower with Ryan still lolling about in the bath.