Past Imperfect (6 page)

The elevator doors open as I get there. Ten and I both step in. Just before the doors close, I hear a loud crash coming from Brad’s office followed by him yelling “Fuck!”

I pull up to my place later that night. The dinner with Ten was pleasant enough, but I felt uneasy the entire time. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking of Brad. Everything Ten said or did had me comparing him to Brad and Ten wasn’t winning the game. He offered to follow me back here, saying that he wanted to make sure I got home safe, but I saw the look in his eyes, and he was definitely thinking about more than my safety. He talked for fifteen minutes trying to convince me to let him escort me home. I thanked him and told him I’d be fine on my own.

I close my eyes tight, trying to get the image of Brad out of my head before heading inside. As I approach my place I see him. He’s leaning against my door. My breathing stops.

“What are you doing here?” I feel chills run through me.

He pushes off from the door and leans down, bringing his gorgeous face in line with mine. “Don’t you ever say we are just fuck buddies again. We are so much more than that and you know it.”

Our eyes lock for a few seconds before he simply walks away.

“I know…,” I whisper as I watch him get into his car and drive off.

And it scares me to death.

“I don’t know, guys. That’s some crazy shit y’all are talking about doing,” Spencer said.

Spencer, Jeremy, and I were sitting around the pool at my house a couple of weeks before we were to start our junior year in high school.

“Why are you being such a pussy, Spencer? We’ve been betting for years.” Jeremy was the main mastermind behind our latest friendly wager.

“I know, but what you’re talking about is more than shoving hands up skirts, touching tits, or seeing how far you can get your tongue down a girl’s throat.” Spencer rubbed the back of his neck and hesitated before he continued. “I mean shit like this is important to girls. I’ve heard.”

“Girls want to lose it just as much as guys do, man,” I explained.

I wasn’t exactly an expert on girls, but out of the three of us I had gotten the furthest with them. As the guys and I got older, the risk factor of our friendly bets increased. We had already bet on French kissing, touching tits and ass, over as well as under clothes, blowjobs, and finger fucking, so there really wasn’t anything left except snatching the V card. At first, I wasn’t sure about doing this either. I talked a big game in front of the guys, but the other stuff didn’t seem like it was too bad. None of us ever forced a girl to do anything she didn’t want to do. Besides, girls used their pussy all the time to get what they wanted from guys, so it wasn’t like we would be taking anything from them that they didn’t want to give up. I’ve had girls, who supposedly liked both Jeremy and Spencer, offer me blowjobs if I let them stay at my family’s beach house and take them out for a day of sailing. I had seen my mother employ the tactic as well as every female who worked for my father. They were all eager to fuck their way up the ladder and my stupid father fell for it every time. What a dumb douche.

It was senior year and Amanda Kelly was going to be my virgin trophy this semester. I’d noticed her before. She was hot after all, but I never bothered with her. Noah “Mr. Fucking Perfect” Stewart had always been around, so I assumed that they were together. I noticed at the beginning of the school year that she was alone a lot. One day at lunch I felt the chilly breeze between the two of them that got me kind of hot and I decided that the time to strike had finally come. What surprised me was how much I liked her. She was different from the other girls I had done this with. She was smart, funny, and acted like she really wanted to spend time with me without asking for anything in return.

I had put off the issue of sex for as long as I could. We had major make-out sessions, but I always stopped myself before it went further. I knew once we had sex it would be over with her and I wasn’t ready for it to be over. But time was running out. Spencer had already lost. He bet it would take him two weeks to get into Nicki’s pants. He was such an idiot. He’d pick these ridiculous time frames that even I couldn’t have met. He had been “seeing” her for over two months and still no action. I wasn’t sure why he didn’t cut her loose, he had already lost the bet. Maybe he felt like he had put so much time into her that it would pay off soon. He wouldn’t get the money, but he would get fucked. Jeremy and I were still in the running. He had bagged Beth in a month and a half, two weeks shy of his target. I had to get this done today or I would lose and I hadn’t lost one of these bets in a long time. I really wanted Amanda in my life and not just in my bed, but I knew she’d never be mine. Noah made that perfectly clear to me on many occasions. Plus, I saw the look in her eyes whenever he was around and I knew she would never shift it in my direction.

We headed up to my room after mommy dearest showed up abruptly. I wasn’t sure of the real reason she came home early. I mean, the pool guy wasn’t scheduled to come today. I closed my door and walked up behind Amanda. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I placed a soft kiss on her cheek. God, she smelled great, like raspberries.

“You know what,” I said, playfully.

“What?”

“I gotta
girl
in my room.”

“Somehow I don’t think that is a rare occurrence,” she said.

“I’ve never had a girl in my room, unless you count my mom and Miss Sally, and trust me, neither one of them have seen girl-dom in a long, long time.”

She turned around in my arms, facing me. “Who’s Miss Sally?”

“The maid. She comes a few times a week, but today is her day off.” I gave her a wink.

Narrowing her beautiful teal-colored eyes, she asked suspiciously, “So, I’m really the first girl you’ve ever had in your room?”

“The one and only.”

“Why have I been granted this honor?”

“Because, you’re special to me,” I said, smiling. It was the truth and now I was getting ready to do something she would never forgive me for.

We had listened to music, I had checked my email several times, and we talked about our plans after graduation. I’d be attending Duke University for my undergrad as well as my law degree, just like dear old dad. I wasn’t thrilled about it, but I didn’t have much of a choice. Amanda sensed my lack of enthusiasm for my career path. She really looked as if she cared and was sorry I wasn’t happy.

Beautiful, don’t act like you give a shit about me. I’m not worth it.

I needed to get this over with. The guys would be here soon. I got up from my desk and walked to the dresser to empty my pockets, still stalling.

“So you don’t sound like you really want to be a lawyer. What do you want to be?” she asked, nervously. Amanda and I didn’t do serious talks. I don’t know why she picked today of all days to start one. I didn’t need her caring about me. I had to break off this line of questioning.

Spinning around, I held my hands up, palms facing out, and said, “A dancer!”

She did a full-blown belly laugh. “You’re crazy.”

“Damn straight, Beautiful. Crazy for the dance.” I gyrated my hips as I walked toward her. “I got the music in me and it’s gotsta get out!”

I grabbed the hem of my shirt and slowly peeled it off, tossing it to the side. She was laughing, but I could see in her eyes that she really liked what she saw.

I continued to gyrate all the way to the foot of the bed. Leaning over, I grabbed her ankles, pulling her down toward me. Crawling up the bed and over her body, I hovered just above her, my hands on either side of her head. I leaned toward her slightly and asked in all seriousness, “Why are you laughing at my dream?”

“I’m not laughing at your dream. It’s a very nice dream. I just never pictured you as Lord of the Dance,” she said, trying hard not to laugh.

I stared at her for several seconds. She was beautiful, inside and out. She had no idea how much I loved spending time with her. She’s the first female, hell the first person in my life who genuinely cared about me. And here I was getting ready to fuck her, literally and figuratively.

She’ll never be yours, Brad. Just get it over with. The guys are headed over here.

Shit, Stewart’s right. You’re a Smurffucker.

“Oh yeah. The sequins, the jazz hands, the tights. It’s what I live for,” I joked.

“I apologize for mocking your dream.”

“I am very hurt and offended. But I can think of twenty-five ways you can make it up to me, Wait, twenty-five and a half ways.” I shot her a wink.

I dipped down close to her lips, but didn’t kiss her. She got the message and grabbed the back of my neck, lifting her lips to meet mine. I shifted my body, lying down beside her, using my elbow for support.

As our lips connected, she ran her hands over my abs and up my chest, until they found their way into my hair. The feel of her hand touching my bare skin sent shivers through me and caused my dick to strain against my jeans. I moaned into her mouth several times.

The music stopped, replaced by heavy breathing and moans. Time was running out. I had to make my big move. “I really like you, Amanda,” I said between kisses.

“I really like you too,” she said between moans.

I cupped the side of her face and pulled my lips from hers, sucking on her bottom lip as I broke away. Looking down at her, I whispered, “You’re special to me.” I hoped she would see the sincerity in my eyes. She was
so
special to me.

I’m sorry I’m a ball-less prick.

“There’s more to you than what you let people see,” she whispered.

No there isn’t. I’m a low-life just like my parents.

“God, I want you so bad,” I whispered against her lips.

“You have me. I think of us as close friends.”

Chuckling, I said, “You’re so damn adorable.” I paused for a moment. “I want to be with you.”

More than you’ll ever know.

I placed light kisses along her jaw, talking in between. “Amanda, you’re so beautiful and sweet.” My lips headed toward her neck. “…and hot.” I moved to below her ear. “I’m going to explode if I don’t get inside of you soon.” I nipped at her earlobe, and then returned to her lips.

My hand slid down to her tits. Her nipples were standing at attention as my thumb ran over them. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. A part of me wanted her to put a stop to this right now, but she didn’t say a word. She didn’t resist in any way, so I stayed the course. Slowly, I nibbled across her jaw again. In a low gravelly voice, I said, “Take your shirt and bra off. I need to get my mouth on your gorgeous tits.”

She did as she was told. My hand moved to her back, unclasping her bra. I slid the straps down her arms and off. Looking down at her exposed body took my breath away.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” I panted. Not being able to wait any longer, my mouth descended on one of her nipples.

I moved my hand down, landing on the button of her jeans. I freed the button and slowly pulled the zipper down. I wanted to give her another chance to stop me. Her hand flew to the top of my hand. This was it. This wasn’t happening today. I stopped and looked at her, hoping to convey how much I actually cared for her. Just when I thought she was going to pull away, she gave me a slight smile and moved her hand, giving me permission.