Password to Her Heart (18 page)

“Lee, from that conversation you got more information than you realize about what’s hurting her and holding her back. She’s always been alone. Alone as a child handling abuse even though she had Keith, he did leave her for the military. She’s lived her life afraid to open up her heart and trust anyone. Keith gave you the power, the ability to instantly gain Shawna’s trust the moment he gave you that password. Tiek told me about how things went down over there at the compound. She was abducted and beaten and then had to kill the man who taunted her and placed fear in her, all so that she wouldn’t die. She was held hostage for six days, and she may never share what these men did to her while she was there. She also watched her brother get shot trying to save her, and now he lies in a hospital bed and no one knows if he’ll make it. That’s a lot to handle.”

“Then there’s us. I can’t speak for the others, although I’m certain they’ll agree, but I’ve fallen in love with her.”

Spocko chuckled.

“Yeah, kind of had that feeling since Mercury called me weeks ago. She’s strong, and she’s special. That should be obvious by how mellow Mercury acts when she’s around. No one would know that man was the hardest, meanest gunnery sergeant in the Corps.”

Lee chuckled. He looked to where Shawna walked off to. “I want to help her. How can I help her to realize that she’s not alone?”

“By being there for her, and talking to her, building that trust she already seems to have with you.”

Lee raised his eyebrows. “Trust me? How can you think that when she just stormed off angry at me for pushing her to talk?”

Spocko smiled. “If she didn’t care about you and trust you, then she wouldn’t have you to lash out at. You have to remember, it was you and Tiek she first saw. You and Tiek who gave the password, who brought her and Keith to safety under fire. She cares about you, but she’s fighting herself and what she’s conditioned her life to be. Lonely, and with no one to count on but her.”

Lee shook his head and then smirked at Spocko. “You have a natural knack for this, you know that?”

“I do recall one soldier throwing a right hook my way for calling out his obsession with not feeling vulnerable.”

They both stood up. Lee laughed and placed his arm over Spocko’s shoulder. “You move fast for a six-foot-three old man.”

“Old man? Look who’s talking.”

They headed in the direction Shawna left, back toward the house.

Lee said good-bye and thanked Spocko for coming, and then Lee and Stitch went looking for Shawna.

* * * *

Shawna didn’t know where she was going, just that she needed to let off some steam. She nearly lost it in front of Lee and Spocko. To show such vulnerability was a death sentence. She needed to gain control of the nightmares and the feelings of fear toward a ghost. Cuadrone was dead.

She circled around the house and followed the pathway that led to the back patio and pool. There were big oval lounge couches that could fit three people at least on them, with rattan awnings to block out the sun. They looked so inviting, so she walked closer, slipped off her sandals, and sat on one. The sun felt good on her body, so she lifted her dress a little higher to expose her legs to the sun. So many times when she worked and went to school on days when the sun was warm and inviting, she wished she could ditch it all and just lay out and relax. She never bothered imagining herself on a beach somewhere. That was just never a possibility. Not with bills to pay and a degree to get. She released a sigh, closing her eyes and leaning back. She was really tired. Crying and getting emotional wasn’t worth it when there were things to get done. It was easier to not feel at all, than to have these emotions.

She thought about the conversation with Lee and Spocko. So they had some tough times when they returned from serving. Did they mean that building everything around the house helped to ease their fears, their PTSD? She couldn’t imagine men as big, strong, and superior as Mercury, Tiek, Stitch, Tex, or Lee needing someone like Spocko to help them. But at least they had him.

She thought about Keith, and then came thoughts about Mexico. It was a vicious cycle. And even though the men claimed to want to care for her and make her their woman, there was still the deeply embedded fear in her heart causing her to not let go. She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, but she was so tired, and this place, this lounge chair so relaxing.

“I can take you, play with you, anytime I want to,” Cuadrone whispered. She felt his finger caress down her arm, over her breast, then to her chin. She was shivering, so scared that he would do more. Each night he’d come to her, start off talking nicely, running his fingers through her hair, but the last two nights he went further.

She felt the heaviness of his body, as he pressed between her legs. She couldn’t push away from him, her hands were tied up and behind her head on some sort of chain in the wall. He looked at her, licked his lips, and began to caress her legs from ankles to thighs.

“Don’t. Please don’t hurt me,” she begged of him. He paused then reached further, under her shorts.

“When this is done, if he doesn’t want you, then I’ll take you. You will serve me well.”

The feel of his hands pushing higher, all the way to her groin nauseated her. His nails, dirty and sharp, scratched against her feminine skin. He was too close to where no man had gone before. Her virginity was hers to give to someone special, not to have taken from her, or ripped from her brutally, violently. His smell, cologne, cigars, sweat, and food, made her want to vomit. The shaking was fierce. When his fingers touched her mound, she screamed, kicked, and carried on.

* * * *

Lee and Stitch found Shawna lying on a lounge chair in the pool area. Her dress was pushed up her thighs and she was moaning, crying in her sleep.

“Damn it!” Lee exclaimed, running to her. The moment he and Stitch touched her, tried to calm her down, she began fighting them, then snapped out of it, gasping for air.

“You’re okay,” Lee told her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and squeezed him hard.

“I’m not okay. I’ll never be okay. Make it stop, Lee, please make it stop.”

Lee looked at Stitch, who had a scowl on his face. He reached out and caressed Shawna’s back.

She climbed up Lee’s body, wrapped her legs around his waist, and held him tight.

“I’ve got you, baby. He can’t hurt you anymore,” Lee said and swallowed hard.

Shawna was shaking in his arms as he lifted her up and carried her into the house.

They made it to the living room where he sat down with her still straddling his hips. He caressed her hair from her cheeks and looked into her red, watery eyes.

“You need to talk about what happened. You need to let us in so we can all help you.”

She shook her head and tried to pull away, but he grabbed her hips and held her tight.

“No, Shawna. You need to face the fact that we all care about you and you’re not alone anymore. Why do you keep pushing us away? Why are you holding back and fighting our help?”

She stared at him, an expression filled with emotions.

Stitch caressed her arm.

She glanced at him and then at Lee. “I don’t know how to. I can’t let go, I can’t take the chance.” She sounded so defeated. It killed him inside to see her like this. It broke his heart.

Stitch caressed her cheek so she would look at him. “Honey, you need to take the chance on us. We won’t hurt you, not ever. In fact, we’d do anything to keep you safe and happy. Don’t you feel safe and happy with us?”

She nodded her head as tears rolled down her cheeks. She covered her chest, above where her heart was. “But it hurts here.”

Lee reached up and cupped her breast as he placed his palm over her chest where her heart was. She covered his hand and entwined their fingers.

“I’ve conditioned myself to not let anyone inside. I’m so used to being alone. It’s where my strength is but it’s not enough to fight this. I thought I would be fine. If I just concentrated on Keith, I would be fine. But I’m not. I need you. I need all of you because in your arms is where I’m safest.”

He gently squeezed her breast as Stitched caressed her hair. “We’re here, baby.”

She shook her head. “I can’t let my guard down. I can’t open up and let you in.”

“Why?” Stitch asked just as Mercury and Tiek walked into the room and then Tex arrived.

“What if you hurt me, too?”

“Baby, we’re not going to hurt you. We want to love you. In fact, I know I already love you, and want you by my side forever,” Lee confessed.

She covered her mouth with her hand and tried to restrain the cry.

“We’re all taking chances, darling. The five of us have trusted only each other for most of our lives. We’d give our lives for one another, and we’d give our lives for you,” Mercury told her. Tiek and Tex moved around her now, too. She sat there and looked at them.

“You’re all stronger than I am, and more capable of handling things like this,” she whispered, holding Mercury’s gaze. He reached out and touched her chin, holding it between his fingers as he used his thumb to stroke her lower lip.

“You’re a survivor, honey, just like we are. It takes time, and we all dealt with our experiences in different ways, but we also worked it out with one another. That’s how close we are, and that’s what you’re part of now. Our team, our family, you’re the love we’ve searched for, thought we could never find, but now we hold here together.” He placed his hand over his heart and Lee smiled.

“Now, darling, you’d better take what our commander says seriously, ’cause none of us have ever seen him so gentle, or suave with words of emotions and love,” Lee said.

They all chuckled.

“Cool it, Lee,” Mercury said. Shawna looked up at Mercury then at Lee.

“Do you think Spocko will come back?”

Lee swallowed hard. “Baby, he’ll come back every day if it will help you like he helped us.”

She nodded her head and took a deep breath then released it. “I can try, Lee. That’s all I can do right now.”

“That’s a start.”

“We’re right here for you, Shawna,” Tiek added, pressing a hand on her shoulder. Then Tex did the same, covering her other shoulder. Stitch caressed his palm under her dress and against her thigh, Lee held her by her hips as she straddled him, and Mercury leaned down and whispered against her lips before he kissed her.

“You’re ours, and we’re never gonna fail you or let you go.”

* * * *

Shawna was overwhelmed with emotion. She practically felt the walls she had built up over the years finally seemed to weaken. The deeper Mercury stroked her mouth with his tongue the needier she became for more of them. She felt their hands upon her. Her five American soldiers with their masculine hands of steel touched her so gently and passionately. She felt Stitch’s hand move up her thigh to her panties. Tiek and Tex started lifting her dress up over her head. She raised her arms up and pulled back from Mercury’s kisses to discard her dress.

With a hand to her breast, Tiek stroked her nipple then leaned down and licked across it. On her left Stitch caressed her skin from belly to breast. “Oh God, that feels so good,” she told them. Then Stitch licked her breast as Tiek lifted her up so she was kneeling over Lee. She locked gazes with him and reached for his pants to undo the button and zipper.

Lee reached up and caressed her hair from her cheeks as the others continued to arouse her body.

“You’re so beautiful,” Lee whispered.

“I want to taste you,” she told him and his eyes darkened as the feel of fingers stroking over her cunt and her anus started at once.

She closed her eyes and pushed back when suddenly her panties were torn from her body.

A quick glance over her shoulder and she saw Mercury and Tex smirking.

“You don’t need them,” Mercury stated.

“But I liked them.” She found herself challenging Mercury, which wasn’t the best idea.

He reached out and stroked a finger along her lips. “Maybe I’ll never buy you a pair again so your pussy is always accessible to us.” He pressed his thumb between her lips. She lifted up and opened her mouth to suck his digit as if it were his cock.

“Damn, Shawna,” Tex whispered.

“Down here, sweetness.” She looked toward Lee and there he was, cock in his hand, stroking, waiting for her to take a taste. Mercury began to pull his thumb from her mouth, but she applied a little pressure with her teeth and lips, showing him she wanted him to keep it there. She reached down and stroked Lee’s cock between her hands. All the while Tex massaged her ass cheeks, and Stitch and Tiek played with her breasts. She was on fire.

“You said you wanted to taste Lee, now do it,” Mercury ordered firmly. She let his finger slide from her mouth. He trailed it down her chin, over her throat, between her breasts, and to her cunt. He stroked her pussy lips and she moaned until she felt Lee give her hips a little tug.

Shawna looked down at him and slowly, as seductively as possible, slid down Lee’s legs, widening her thighs until her ass and pussy stuck out and she could reach Lee’s cock with her mouth.

Mercury gently gripped her hair, pulling the abundant locks to one side of her shoulder as she sucked more of Lee into her mouth. Lower and lower, she took him deeper until she almost gagged from his thickness. She felt chills from the way Mercury so dominantly held her hair and head as he directed her strokes.