Parker's Island (30 page)

“As long as it takes to get some clear urine from you
,
so it may be a couple of hours.  Please l
ie
back on the table
, and put your feet right here in the stirrups
.”

I did what Dr. Branson asked
. 
I wasn’t sure who was more uncomfortable, me or Logan.  I think it was a tie.  As soon as Dr. Branson’s nurse came into the room, I started to panic again.  Logan stood at the head of the exam table, holding my hand and telling me it was okay.  His eyes never left mine during the entire exam.  I wasn’t sure if it was because he knew I was panicking, or if he was afraid to let his eyes wander
below the stirrups an
d see something he didn’t want to.  He brushed my hair back wi
th his hand and kept telling me,
“It’s almost over.”

“Okay, that part
’
s
done.  We’ll have your pap
smear
results in a few weeks and everything else looks normal.
”

He told me to put my legs down on the table and he covered me with a drape, exposing only my lower abdomen.  “Let’s take a listen, shall we?” he said and put a bunch of gel on my stomach and then he turned on a little handheld device and rubbed it in the gel on my stomach.  I looked up at Logan and he looked as confused as I was.  Then we heard a definitive beating through all the crackles.

“There we are.  Good, strong heartbeat in the 160’s, perfect.”

“That was the baby?” I asked.

“Yep.  He or she sounds perfect.  We’ll do an ultrasound next time and you can see the baby.”

He took out a tape measure and measured my belly and then said, “Well, everything looks good. 
Now I’ll do a quick breast exam and we’ll be all through.”

“Um, I don’t think you need…”

“Delaney, it’s all a part of being a mom.  You need to
take
care of yourself, and routine screenings are important.  Logan can hold your hand
;
it’ll only take a minute.”

“
Oh, um,
I really think I should step out…” Logan said, standing up straight now.  He tried to pull his hand away but I wouldn’t let it go.

“No, stay
,”
I said,
more afraid of the exam than having Logan see
ing
me partially undressed.

“Delaney…
I really don’t think I should…”
h
e was breathing a bit faster now, and I knew he was embarrassed, but I
c
ouldn’t let
go of his
hand.

“It’s only going to take a minute
,
” Dr. Branson said
again
.  He
un
tied
my gown,
letting it drop to my waist
,
“Oh, you’ll have to remove your bra
, please
,
”
h
e said, and then his pager went off.  “Go ahead and remove your bra and I’ll be back in a minute
.  S
orry
for the interruption
.”

Logan had managed to completely avert his eyes up to that point.  “Delaney, I really think I should wait outside.”

“
I
f you want to leave,
I understand
,
” I said, looking down.

“I’ll stay if you want, I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“It’s too late for that, but it would
be worse without you.
  Please stay
,
”
I said, still holding his hand with an iron grip.

He looked at me then and took a deep breath
, “
This would be a lot easier if you weren’t so beautiful.”

“You’ve already seen…
everything anyway.”

“No, I never looked below the…
”

“I don’t mean today, I mean
…
that night.  You carried me out of the shower
,
so
…
”

“Delaney, I covered you with a towel, I didn’t stop to look or think about you
like
…
I was just so worried about you.
”

“It’s okay
,
Logan.
  I don’t care.  You were there for me then and you’re here now.”

“Sorry about that
,
” Dr. Branson said, stepping back into the room.  He washed his hands in the sink and said, “
Y
ou still need to remove
your
bra.”

“Oh,
yeah
,
” I said, unsnapping the back of it and pulling it down over my shoulders.
  I handed my bra to Logan and whispered, “It’s okay.”

“
L
ay back for me
,
please
.  Do you
perform monthl
y breast exams?”
h
e asked me while grabbing one of my arms and placing it gently over my head.

“Um, no.”

“You need to make it a habit.  I tell most women to examine them
selves
monthly right after their period, but since you said you don’t have regular periods you should just pick the same day each month.
  A good day would be the day
of the month
your birthday falls on.
”

“Okay
,
” I said, too nervous to really listen to what he was saying.

“You need to watch for
lumps and
any changes
or
dimpling
, or discharge from your nipples
,
other than the breast milk, of course,
”
h
e said, while lifting my other arm above my head.

Logan had managed to avert his eyes completely until the doctor addressed him personally.

“Logan, you should know how to do this
,
too.  I’ve found that husbands
and
boyfriends find problems that a
woman may never notice.  Okay, sit up for me now
,
please
,
Delaney
.”

He continued talking to Logan, “This is the most common problem area
,
”
h
e said, touching the upper area of both of my breasts
, near my armpits
.

Logan was still looking at my face,
not sure
what to do.

“
This is nothing you haven’t seen before
,
” Dr. Branson
said
.

“Yeah
,
but
it’s just kind of
,
um…
clinical
,
”
Logan stammered.

“
Yes, but it’s important.  Knowing how to do this and what to look for may save her life.  T
his feels like normal healthy breast tissue
.  F
eel it
here
and then
you can look for any changes
later, when it’s not so
…
clinical
,
”
Dr. Branson said, looking a bit irritated.

Logan looked at me, “What do you want me to do?”

“I, um…” 

“I know this is uncomfortable for you both, but it’s e
specially
important
since
there’s a his
tory of breast cancer in
your
family
,
Delaney
.”

I sat there afraid to move.  I didn’t know what to say or do.  Poor Logan looked absolutely petrified.  Finally I said, “We can do this at home.”

“
Logan
,
you are the f
ather of this baby
, right
?” Dr. Branson asked, looking at
us
both
strangely.

“Yes!
” Logan said
, all too quickly
.
 

“
I think he’s just nervous.  You’re kind of putting him on the spot
,
” I stammered.

“
Okay.  You two can work this out on your own.  But you need to do the exams
,
like I said.”

“I
…we will
,”
I said.

“Well, that’s it for now. 
My nurse will be back in to
draw some blood and
start your IV and in a few hours you’ll be feeling much better
,”
h
e said, eyeing us both warily.

When it was over and the doctor left, I sat up and hugged Logan.  “Thank you for not leaving me.”

“I think I need a minute
,
”
h
e said, sitting down in the chair.  He was still holding my bra and looking a little pale.

“Thank you
,
again,
” I said
again
, covering up with the gown.

He grinned at me and said, “You know, I had the
perfect opportunity to touch…you…
and I just realized I blew it.”

“Yeah
,
” I said, and then added, “but it was so clinical
anyway
…” I
was
barely able to stop grinning at him.

“Funny!  You’re a riot
,
”
h
e said, while absentmindedly rubbing my bra between his thumb and forefinger.

“Um…
a
re you finished with that
,
yet?” I asked, pointing at my bra
and grinning
.

“What?  Oh yeah, sorry,”
h
e said with obvious embarrassment.

He
handed me
my bra and I decided to go to the bathroom to get dressed.  I jumped off the table a little too quickly, forgetting that I hadn’t kept anything down in days and
I immediately
started to sway.  Logan was instantly at my side and caught me before I fell. 
As I
grabbed onto him
,
my gown fell
and his hand grazed the side of my breast.  I looked up at him and said, “I think I’m okay now.  Thank you.”

He stared down at me
and said, “Well
,
I guess I have another opportunity
now
,
don’t I?”

“
Ye
s
, but something tells me…
you won’t
take it
.”

“It doesn’t seem quite so clinical now
,
”
h
e said, letting me go
and quickly backing away
.

I headed into the bathroom and got re-dressed.  I came back into the room and noticed Logan sitting in the far chair with his head against the wall and his eyes closed.  “Are you okay?” I asked.

“I’m fine
.  J
ust keeping the memory alive
,
”
h
e
smiled
.

“Why did you tell him that you were the father?” I asked
, ignoring his comment
.

“
I don’t know.  I guess I figured it would be easier for you that way
,
”
h
e said
sadly
.

“What?” I asked, knowing there was something on his mind.

“I wish I were
,
”
h
e said.

“
So do I
,” I whispered.

The nurse came back in then and soon I was being filled with warm fluid
and some medication to stop the nausea and vomiting
.  After about two full hours of
being hooked up to the
IV, I
finally
had to
go to the bathroom
.  I gave the nurse a sample and she came back and said, “You’re still pretty dehydrated.  We
need to keep
giving you fluids until your urine is clear
.”

Finally, another hour
passed and
my urine was evidently clear enough for me
to be able
to leave.  I had to admit, I felt better than I had in
weeks.
  Dr. Branson told me my due date was March 20
th
, and gave me a book on things to expect during my pregnancy.  I was to come back in a week for an ultrasound
or
immediately if I was feeling ill again.