Parker's Island (24 page)

“I did want to.  At least I thought I did.  I guess I’m
just
not ready after all,
” I said,
sniffling.

“Was
it
because of your mom?”

“NO
.  M
y mother has nothing to do with this!”
I wasn’t r
eally sure if that was true
or not
.  She had made me pretty angry.
             

“Then, what is it?”
h
e asked,
obviously confused
.

“I don’t know
,
” I said again.  There was no way that I could explain how I felt, why I panicked. 
“You must think I’m crazy.”
             

“No
,
I don’t think you’re crazy.  I just don’t
think
you’re ready.  It’s okay
,
Delaney.”

“But, I was ready, I was!  I wanted
to…
I wanted
you
!  But when you
leaned over me and
kissed me…
” I couldn’t go
on
.
I was terrified that he would guess my secret.

“What happened when I kissed you
,
Delaney?”

“I saw…I saw…
” I wanted to tell him, I needed him to understand why I turned him away.
  I was shaking and I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about Chad
, couldn’t bring myself to even say his name
.

“What?  What did you see?”

I just looked at him,
and
I
still
couldn’t
get the words out.
 

“Logan?”
h
e asked,
realizing
it would upset
me even more
, but needing to know.

I was instantly angry, but I couldn’t blame him for thinking it, so I kept my anger to myself.

“No
,
Brian
.  It
wasn’t
Logan.  I swear it
,
” I said, looking him straight in the eye so that he knew I meant it.

“I’m sorry.  I had to ask.”

“I
swear
he had nothing to do with it
.”

“I think I know what it is
,
” Brian said.

I looked down,
suddenly worried that he had guessed my secret.

“You think we should be married first.”

“What?”
I asked, stunned
.

“That’s how you were raised.  Why shouldn’t you feel that way?”

“Brian, I don’t think that’s…”

“We’ll wait
,
Delaney.  It’s okay
.
”

“
Brian, I’m not asking you to marr…”

“I know, but I
will
ask you
.
  When the time is right, I
’m going to
ask you to marry me.  I love you.”

“Brian, I don’t know what to say
,
”
I said, un
prepared for any of this.

“You don’t have to say anything.  Let’s go get some ice cream and then I’ll take you home.  I think you and your mom need to talk.”

Brian
was the most understanding man in the world.  I knew that if I could bring myself to tell him about what Chad had done, he
would be very understanding and I would
probably feel
so much better.
But, I also knew he would
go after Chad and I couldn’t live with that.  Brian
was so wonderful, and I knew that even though I did love him, I didn’t deserve him.
   I didn’t deserve him, because
even now,
when
Brian said L
ogan’s name, I was instantly transported back to that moment when just his touch sent electricity
coursing
through me. 
I knew that no matter how much I loved Brian, if Logan walked through the door, I would leave with him
without hesitation.  Brian didn’t deserve that.  He deserved much better than I could give him.  But I knew he wanted me, and I also knew that Logan wasn’t going to walk through the door
.
I
needed to continue on with my life
;
my life with Brian. 

I stood up and took his hand.  I kissed him lightly on th
e cheek and said, “I love you. 
I’m sorry.”

“Delaney, your love is all I need for now.  The rest will come with time.”

The summer had started out on a very sour note, but as the end was approaching
,
I felt certain that my life was headed in the right direction.  Brian and I had both been accepted to the University of
New Haven and we were planning on leaving for college together in just a little over two weeks.  Brian was offered a full
football
scholarship, and I had been offered an academic scholarship, so it seemed like the perfect solution to our not wanting to be apart.

“So, have you st
arted packing yet?”
I asked Brian.

“No
.  H
ave you?”
h
e asked
,
looking like the thought hadn’t even occurred to him.

“I’ve been ready for weeks.”  I laughed at the look on his face.

“What’s to get ready?  Throw some clothes in a bag and go!”

“Men!”
I said, and giggled at his obvious lack of concern
regarding
our up and coming journey.

“The only thing I can’t live
without
is you!”
he
said.

“That’s nice, thank you
,
” I said, and kissed him softly.

“No, that’s nice!”
h
e said, pulling me closer for another kiss.

“Um, I think we should go do some shopping
,
” I said, trying to cool him down a bit.

“Shopping?  Women!”
h
e
scoffed
, mocking me.

We ran down the stairs
and were just heading out the door when Brian’s mom asked to speak with us.

“What’s up
,
Mom?”

“Would you two sit down for a minute
,
please?  I think we need to talk.”

Brian and I sat down at the dining room table across from her.

“Is everything okay?”  Brian asked,
not used
to having his mother look so serious.

“
Y
ou tell me?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I know
…
” s
he said, looking at Brian, and then me.”

“You know what?” Brian asked.

“Come on you two, I’m not blind.  When did you plan on telling us about this?
”
s
he asked.

“Tell you what?” Brian asked, looking completely confused.

“Tell us that Delaney’s…
”
s
he stopped, in mid
-
sentence
, staring at her son
.

“Delaney’s what?” h
e asked
;
looking worried now.

“You don’t know?
Delaney, honey
,
I’m sorry. 
I didn’t mean to spoil anything. 
I just assumed you had told him
,
”
s
he said, looking at me.

“Told him what?” I asked,
just as
baffled
as
Brian.

She stared at me, looking very bewildered.  “I was certain that you both were just waiting for the right time to tell us, but
since
you
’
r
e
both
leaving for college soon, I thought we needed to
do some planning
.”  She stared at me for a few minutes, saying nothing and then
asked
, “You really don’t know what I’m talking about
,
do you?”

“I’m sorry
,
Christine, but I have no idea what you’re talking about
,
”
I said, honestly baffled.

“Honey, I don’t know how to tell you this, I was sure you’d figured it out.  I mean
,
how c
ould
you not know?”
s
he
asked
, shaking her head.

“Mom
, what are you talking about?”
Brian asked, concern showing in his face now.

She ignored her son and focused on me.  “Delaney
,
honey, when was your last period?”

I was shocked by her question and I blushed.

“Mom, don’t you
think that’s a bit personal?”
Brian
asked
.

“I need to know
,
”
s
he said
softly
,
and
reach
ed
out to touch my hand.

“Um, I don’t know.  I don’t usually keep track. 
I guess it’s been a while. 
Why?”
  I asked, never having been one to pay attention to my periods.

“Honey, surely you can see all the signs?”

“What signs?”
I asked, still baffled.

“Well, you’ve been nauseous and vomiting for months now
,
with no actual ailment to speak of.  You’re exhausted
all the time
, your period is late, and well, I know that you were blessed with ample
…
cleavage
, but you
a
re a bit more ample now
,
”
s
he said, looking at my tightly fitted
T-shirt
.

“Mom, what th
e
h
ell are talking about?”
Brian asked, still confused.

“Delaney, honey, I know I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure that you’re…pregnant
.
  Aren’t you?
”

“What?”
I asked, shaking my head to clear my thoughts.

“How could you not know?”
s
he asked.

“Mom,
s
he’s not p
regnant
,”
Brian said
, grinning
,
and
obviously relieved
.

“Delaney?”
Christine
said, staring directly at me and
ignoring Brian.

My head was
spinning
.  I stared off in the distance trying to absorb what she was telling me.
 
All of the signs and symptoms were there, but I had
blocked them out.
 
I had completely ignored what I should have known all along. 
I knew then that Christine was right
.
  I started shaking, not sure what to
say or do
.
  I stared down at my trembling hands, refusing to look at either Christine or Brian.

“Mom, she’s not pregnant!” Brian said.  “Tell her
,
Delaney.  Tell
her
you can’t be pregnant!
 
Mom, honestly, she’s not pregnant.  We haven’t even
…
”

But Christine was watching me, and when our eyes
finally
met, she knew that I
was hiding a secret
.  She knew
that
it was true
,
and that her
only
son
was about to have his heart broken
into pieces
.

“
Dam
m
it
,
Delaney, tell
her that you’re not pregnant!”
Brian ordered.