Paranormalcy (17 page)

I
dropped the communicator like it had burned my hands. It was real—I was connected to everything, to Vivian. Why didn't I pay more attention when she said what we were? And she said I was dying, or I was going to die, or…

I sat and put my head down on the table. This was so, so bad. So unbelievably bad. Not only did crazy paranormal killer know way more than I did
and
could sneak into my head, she also seemed to think we should be together. And the faeries were involved, of course.

What the bleep was I?

My earliest memories were of the foster system. The police had found me wandering naked and alone in a park when I was three years old. They never found any leads, so I became a ward of the state. What if—What if I didn't have parents to begin with? Where did I come from?

“She's delusional,” I whispered to myself, forehead pressed against the wood of the table. “She's crazy. We're not the same.”

“Evie?” I sat straight up, shocked and scared. Lend's dad was standing in the entry to the kitchen. “Couldn't sleep?”

“No, no, I couldn't sleep.” I wondered if I should tell him. But he liked me, trusted me. What would they do if they found out that this thing they were terrified of was my sister? That I might be the exact same thing as her? My eyes filled with tears. Why couldn't I just be normal?

“Yeah, me neither.” He got a glass of water and sat down at the table across from me.

“I have a question.” I wondered how I could get answers without giving anything away. If David even had any answers. I had a feeling I knew more than anyone else here now, which wasn't saying much. “Reth knew the words to that poem thing about Vi—about the girl that's doing this. Is it some sort of faerie prophecy?”

“He knew about it? Interesting.” David looked thoughtful. “Is Reth Seelie or Unseelie?”

“What?” Yet another thing I didn't know. Great.

“There are two types of faeries—two courts. The Seelie
and the Unseelie. You didn't learn about that?”

“Never heard a word.”

He frowned. “They had you working with faeries but didn't talk about the differences? Did they teach you about faerie lore or magic?”

I shrugged. “Not really. Raquel wouldn't answer many of my questions. She always said that stuff didn't matter as long as we knew their names.”

“But they only worked with Seelie faeries, right?”

I shrugged. “I think they took whatever they could get.”

He sat back, rubbing his face wearily in the same way Lend did. “Idiots.”

“No kidding. So what's the difference?”

“Well, many faeries are more independent and not actively involved with the courts, but they're all divided into two basic groups. The Seelie faeries are the good faeries—good being relative, of course. They still manage to do quite a bit of mischief. But the Unseelie are even worse.”

“Oh, he's totally Unseelie then. You saw him. He was the one who brought Fire Girl into the Center, too.”

“And he knew about the prophecy. Hmm. I wonder why the fey would be involved. The banshee's insight was obvious since she heralded the deaths.” I nodded, pretending like I understood what he was talking about until I remembered Lend said they had gotten the info from a banshee.

“There was something else he mentioned.” I bit my lip. Time to lie. “He said something about being empty. That
she was an Empty One?” I watched him for any reaction but he looked stumped.

“I don't know. It doesn't ring a bell. Faeries operate on a different level than we do. Long-term planning for us is years; they set things in motion centuries ahead. They meddle with human stuff the most, but all the true immortals are disconnected from our time frames. Take Cresseda.” He smiled sadly. “Try getting a straight answer out of her about anything. She just doesn't have the same sense of immediacy that we do. It's like her mind is on a different plane. Still, we take what we can get.”

“Yeah.” Cresseda! Maybe she could answer my questions. I'd have to wait until the morning since I wouldn't be able to find my way in the dark, but it gave me hope that I could figure some of this out.

There was one more thing, though. Vivian's message had come from Raquel's communicator. I didn't know what that meant, how she had gotten it, but it couldn't be good. “Umm,” I said, staring at the table, “I know that you probably don't like her, but Raquel”—my voice caught saying her name—“was always pretty good to me. And I'm worried that she might be…Did you find out anything yet?”

David smiled, patting me on the shoulder as he stood. “I was going to tell you in the morning. I know for a fact that Raquel is alive and well.”

“Really?” I looked up at him, tears of relief in my eyes.
As much as she had frustrated and disappointed me, she was the closest I had to family. Knowing she was safe felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my chest. “Could you—” I wanted to send her a message. Something, anything to let her know that I was okay.

But she was bound to be disappointed in me. After everything I'd done—losing the trackers that Vivian used to trick her way into the Center, freeing Lend and running instead of following protocol, not coming back now that I was safe—no, she wouldn't be happy to hear from me. And then they'd look for me, too. It was best to leave it alone.

“Could I what?”

“Never mind.” I smiled weakly. “I'm just glad she's okay. You're sure?”

“Positive. And now I'm going to try and get some sleep.”

“Oh, yeah, me, too.”

 

Several nervous and mind-numbingly long hours later dawn finally came. I was exhausted and angry. I should have lain awake in bed last night because I was too giddy over Lend to sleep—not because I was terrified and paranoid thanks to my creepy sister thing and her little dream visits.

Around seven Lend knocked on my door.

“Yeah?”

He peeked in. Gosh, he was adorable.

“Hey—did you want to come to school with me again? It's only a half day.”

“I don't really feel well.” I hoped he could see how regretful I was. This was my only chance to see his mom without having to answer questions from Lend or David. I wasn't ready for questions.

“Oh, sure. Slacker. I'll be back before noon.” He grinned at me and I felt like the worst person in the world.

“Can't wait,” I said, smiling. I listened until I was sure the house was empty, then threw on a jacket. I tucked Tasey into my pocket. Lend and his dad might be satisfied that Cresseda had banished Reth, but I wasn't taking any chances.

The trail seemed shorter this time, probably because I was nervous about what Cresseda would say. Plus, every cracked twig made me jump, certain that Reth—or worse, Vivian—was going to come sauntering out of the trees.

When I reached the edge of the pond, I stopped, flummoxed. I had no idea how to get her to come up. Lend had skipped a rock, but I couldn't do that to save my life. Frowning, I picked up a likely looking candidate and imitated his expert wrist flick. I was rewarded with a very ungraceful splosh. No skipping at all. I tried again; no luck. This was going to be a long morning. After lobbing in another four rocks, I was ready to give up, when the center of the pond started churning.

Cresseda formed in front of me. The frost was nearly gone and she was much closer this time.

“Oh, umm, hi.”

“Evelyn,” she said in her melodic stream of a voice.

“I was wondering if you could maybe answer some questions for me?”

She looked at me, grave and sad. “As I said, yours is not a path of the waters. Yours is a path of spirit and fire.”

“Yeah, but do you know what an Empty One is?”

“You are an Empty One.”

Okay, not so helpful. “Yes, but what
is
that? What does that mean?”

“That has not been determined. You have yet to choose, and you are not filled.”

My voice caught, tears stinging my eyes. “What if I don't want to be filled?”

“We cannot change our nature.” As if to demonstrate, she smiled sadly and held out her hand to me. I reached out, hesitant, and touched it. My hand went right through.

“I don't want to be anything.” The tears started in earnest. “I don't want to be like her, like Vivian. I don't want to hurt anyone. Am I going to hurt people?”

“No one can make you do that, child. You are caught between two worlds, much like my own Lend. You will want the fire, you will want to be filled. It is your nature. I hope you do not fall, but she is much stronger than you are.”

She smiled at me, reaching out as though she would wipe away my tears. “Cling to what is good in your life. Be good to my son.” Then the water tumbled down, losing its
form as she returned to the pond.

I walked back, feeling very cold and alone. She hadn't given me much to go on. I still didn't understand what the Empty Ones were or why I was one. I was depressed, wondering if I shouldn't just go find Vivian right now. She seemed to be the only one who knew what was happening.

But then I thought about what Cresseda had said—Lend and I were the same, stuck between two worlds. And even though she knew what I was, she didn't try to kill me, or tell me to stay away from her son. My step lightened as I dwelt on that. Cresseda didn't think I was dangerous, and I would take what I could get. The rest of the Vivian and faerie crap could play itself out without me. I didn't care.

Okay, I cared a lot and was still worrying obsessively over it, but I wasn't going to get involved. My connection with Vivian didn't matter. I wasn't like her; I didn't care about being empty. The only things I wanted to fill me were happy thoughts of holding Lend's hand.

M
y
eyes flew open in panic—the whole world was shaking. Lend laughed, still jumping on the end of the bed. I grabbed my pillow and threw it at him. He caught it and sat cross-legged on the bed, facing me.

“Lazy,” he said.

I sat up, narrowing my eyes. “Hey, this is the first vacation I've had since I was eight. Give me a break.”

“Fine. But school was boring without you there. No one was freaking out over the lockers or anything.”

“They're all fools.”

He looked down at the bedspread. “I was wondering
if you wanted to hang out with some people tonight? A bunch of my friends are going to go out for pizza.”

I sat up even straighter. “Oh, my gosh, like a real date? With real teenagers?”

“I'm afraid so.”

I threw myself across the bed and wrapped my arms around his neck. “It's like a dream come true!”

He put his arms around my back. “You're really easy to keep happy, you know that?”

“But—oh no!” I pulled back so I could look at him; he didn't move his arms. “You're grounded! Are you gonna climb out the window and steal a car?”

“Yes, because I'm insane and this is one of your television shows. I already asked my dad. He said it was okay.”

“Gosh, harsh disciplinarian, huh?”

“I think he's glad I'm finally doing normal things. He always worried that I was too isolated.”

I smiled, sad that I didn't have anyone worrying about whether I was social enough in my life. I mean, sure, Raquel worried whether or not I died, or if my French homework was done (maybe not in that order), but as far as emotional stuff, she was always kind of distant. I hoped David knew what he was talking about when he said she was okay.

“What?”

“What do you mean what?”

“You're worried about something.”

I looked into his real eyes, trying to smile. I didn't want
to talk about Raquel right now. I knew I should, but it was easier to focus on the happy stuff, which definitely didn't include wondering how Vivian had gotten Raquel's communicator. “I worry about a lot of things lately.”

“Can I help?”

“Maybe. We'll talk about it later, okay? I've got a date to get ready for.”

“It's gonna take you three hours to get ready?”

“I don't know. My date's pretty freaking hot—I'd better look good.”

He laughed, letting go of me and climbing off the bed. “Yeah, mine too. Maybe I should change?” He shimmered, switching to blond hair and blue eyes. “What do you think? Does this face make me look fat?”

I laughed. “Maybe go Asian tonight?”

He shimmered again, switching to the cute Chinese boy. “Better?”

“Hmm. I don't know, not quite my taste.”

“What's your taste?” His voice shifted with every different form he took. It bothered me, as usual.

“I like guys the color of water.”

He looked down at the ground. “You really like the way I look? It doesn't, I don't know, freak you out?”

I stood, putting my hand on the side of his face and concentrating so that I could see under his glamour. “I
really
like the way you look. None of these faces you wear compare.”

He gave me a nervous frown. Then he shimmered and
the color drained out, leaving just him. I hadn't seen him like this since he was unconscious. I forgot how amazing it was. I smiled, keeping my hand on his face. The texture had changed—it was even softer and smoother, if that was possible. “There you are.” If I focused on his eyes I could make out his whole face in my peripheral vision; it was when I tried to look at anything else that it seemed to slip away.

“Here I am,” he said softly—in his real voice. It was like his mother's, but richer and with more of a human tone to it, making it far warmer and more familiar. Just like slipping into a steaming bath when you were cold all over; I couldn't imagine a better voice.

“I think you should know,” I said, pretending to frown, “I'm not going to be happy with your other voices now that I've heard the real one.”

He laughed and I went weak in the knees. Reth spreading his warmth through me was nothing compared to how I felt about Lend, how that laugh made me feel.

“You're kind of incredible, you know that, Evie?”

“I kind of figured.” Grinning mischievously at him, I moved my hand from his face and wrapped both my arms around the back of his neck.

He put one of his hands behind my back, pulling me in closer, then traced his fingers along my jaw. I was on the verge of hyperventilating, almost scared now that the kiss I'd dreamed of for so long seemed like it was going to happen.
Our lips were only a few inches apart. Then his face went serious, and our lips weren't any inches apart at all.

I closed my eyes, melting in. His lips—oh, bleep, his lips—just when I thought his skin was the softest thing ever. And warm like you wouldn't believe. I felt like I was floating: I couldn't believe I was there, kissing Lend, and it was the best kiss ever.

After a few seconds I wondered if I was supposed to be doing anything else. I'd never done this before. Lend must have been thinking the same thing, because he slowly moved his lips. I answered with mine, and we stood there in his room, figuring out how to kiss.

It was absolutely amazing.

I could have done that all day. How on earth had I never kissed before? After what seemed like forever and no time at all, we pulled apart. Lend looked at me.

“Are you sure that was your first kiss?” he asked in his wonderful voice, eyeing me in mock suspicion.

“Wasn't it yours?” Oh no. What if I was doing it wrong?

He laughed. “Yeah. But I'd kinda like to do it again…”

I answered by leaning in and positively smashing my mouth against his.

We were really getting the hang of it when a knock made us jump apart. “Doors open, please,” Lend's dad called through the shut door.

“Um, yeah, sorry, Dad,” Lend said. Pigment rushed back into him, and he settled into his normal hottie appearance.
Opening the door, he grinned. “Just telling her about tonight.”

“For the last forty-five minutes?” David raised his eyebrows. Holy crap, had it really been that long? I blushed from head to toe but Lend laughed. “Why don't you two come and talk about it downstairs?”

“Sure.” Lend held out his hand for me and I took it, still embarrassed. I spent the next couple of hours in giddy impatience. I kept remembering that we had kissed—I had been kissed!—and the giddiness set in anew.

Finally it was time for us to go. Lend seemed more relaxed and happier than ever on the drive, joking around about making me pick up the tab for the date.

The pizza place was great—packed and noisy, with dim lighting and bench tables. John, a lanky red-haired guy I recognized from school, waved to us from a table in the back near some arcade games. There were five other kids, a couple of whom I had met.

A girl I didn't know beamed at Lend, way too excited to see him. Pretty, with dark hair and too much makeup. I didn't like the way she looked at him, or the way she leaned forward, using her low-cut shirt to its full advantage. I shifted closer to Lend and wished we were holding hands. Still, I'd dealt with predators she couldn't imagine in her darkest nightmares. I wasn't intimidated. Much.

“Lend, you're back!” she said. “I'm so glad, I was really worried about you! You must have been so sick! I tried to
bring you cookies, but your dad said you were contagious.”

“Yup, feeling better now.” Lend smiled politely.

The girl hadn't so much as glanced at me. It was like she was trying to make me disappear by the sheer force of her determined ignoring. Finally, when she realized that Lend wasn't going to say anything else, she looked at me with a thin smile.

“Who's this?”

“I'm Evie.”

“Hi! I'm Carlee. Are you guys cousins or something?” She looked way too hopeful as she said this.

I turned to Lend, looking at his black hair and dark brown eyes. “Wow, I had no idea we looked that much alike.”

“So you are!” she said, almost laughing with relief. I felt bad.

“Nope, not related at all,” Lend said. “Evie just moved to the area.”

Her face fell. Poor thing. She was a trooper though, I'd give her that. She plastered on a bright smile. “That's so great!”

We sat down and Lend put his arm around me. Every single jaw at the table dropped.

“Man,” John said, shaking his head. “All this time I was pretty sure you were gay.”

I batted my eyes innocently. “I'm sorry, John. Are you disappointed?” Everyone laughed, and John grinned.

“Maybe a little,” he answered, scooting into Lend's free side to cuddle up.

“Oh, get off me.” Lend shoved him off the bench. After that, I was part of the group. Me! Part of the group! I thought yesterday had been the best day of my life, but today beat it by a million. At school I had been an observer, but here I was really hanging out, accepted.

There was nothing special about it (besides Lend, who I liked more than I dared admit). But with these ridiculous, clueless teenagers, I felt at home. Sure, I jumped every time a blond girl passed my peripheral vision and got cold chills when I thought I saw someone who looked like Reth, but no one noticed how twitchy I was. I reassured myself with Tasey's familiar bulk in my purse and the heavy weight of the iron knuckles in my pocket. Things were going to be fine.

As the evening progressed Carlee seemed to get over her disappointment and flirted up a storm with John, which was a relief. “You've got really pretty hair,” she said when John got up to play a game.

“Oh, thanks!” I said, genuinely pleased. “I love your necklace.”

She smiled and, with Lend's arm around me and the growing hope that I'd have friends, I was elated. There was no pressure, no one to report to, nothing that I needed to do.

For the first time ever, I was just a teenager.

Rather than go right in when we got home, we walked a
little way into the trees. He was amazing in the dark—there was definitely a luminescence about him. My wrist was like an open flame, but I ignored it as Lend's color melted away and we kissed until my hands were so cold they hurt. When my teeth started chattering, he pulled away and laughed. “Okay, time to go in.”

He put his arm around me as we walked to the house. “Evie?”

“Hmm?”

“I'm just—I'm glad we can be ourselves with each other. It feels like I can be totally honest with you. I've never had that before.”

My stomach sank.
He
was finally being honest. But what was I doing, hanging out with normal teenagers, pretending I could be one of them? Lend showed me exactly who he was, but he had no idea what I was.

Suddenly the whole day felt less like the best one of my life and more like the biggest lie I'd ever told.