Parallel Visions (13 page)

Inez rocks on her bed, arms wrapped tight around her stomach.
“
No one will believe me, ”
she whispers to herself.
“
The lesbian who cries rape. Who doesn ’
t like boys. Who asked for it.
”
Tears stream down her reddened cheeks.
“
Three upstanding boys against queer little me.
”
And then she gets up, lifts up her mattress, and pulls out a stash of hidden pills.

“
Don ’
t you want to know what I saw about Inez?
”
I cough again, my chest aching, but my breathing is coming easier, now.

“
You know I do!
”
Gil yells, his eyes too bright.
“
But you can ’
t keep doing this. How is it going to help Inez and Jenna if you kill yourself? Do you know how guilty they ’
ll feel?
”

“
They won ’
t know! And I ’
m not going to die.
”

“
I ’
ll know!
”
Gil jabs his chest.

In the house across the street, someone pulls back the drapes and a face appears at the window.

“
I ’
m sorry, ”
I say.
“
I didn ’
t know how else to do this.
”
I wheeze harder.

I have to stay calm. I can talk in complete sentences again, which means I ’
m out of the danger zone. But strong emotion can trigger another attack, or make this one worse. I breathe out.
“
Inez was gang-raped by some boys from school. They targeted her because she ’
s queer. Said they could make her straight.
”

Gil
’
s hands clench.
“
Those bastards! Tell me who they are! I ’
ll kill them!
”
A vein in his neck pulses.

I
’
ve never seen him so angry. It should frighten me, after seeing what Mason ’
s done to Jenna, but it doesn ’
t feel the same. This is protective rage.
“
I didn ’
t recognize them; I only know they ’
re from school because of their jackets. They looked a year or two older than us.
”

“
Can you pick them out of the yearbooks?
”
Gil asks hoarsely.

“
I don ’
t know, ”
I say.
“
But even if I could, that ’
s up to Inez, not me. And I don ’
t think she ’
s ready for that.
”

“
You ’
re right. Damn it!
”
Gil slumps.
“
Maybe what you told me will help me help her. But neither Inez or Jenna would want you to kill yourself just to help them!
”
The vein in Gil ’
s neck is pulsing again.
“
Was all that stuff you told Inez about wanting to live just a lie? I won ’
t let you hurt yourself like this again.
”

“
It ’
s not your choice. I have to try to help them if I can! If you could see what Mason ’
s done to Jenna—”

“
So you call the police. You don ’
t try to stop it yourself. And you don ’
t risk your life by sparking an asthma attack. I like you, Kate. I like you a lot. But I won ’
t watch you hurt yourself.
”

“
Then don ’
t watch, ”
I say, wheezing.

“
All right, I won ’
t!
”
Gil scowls. Then he turns and stalks off.

The sky is grey with roiling clouds—exactly the way I feel. I walk to school alone, still wheezing.

Every time I see Gil in the hall, at lunch, in class, his eyes grow dark, and he turns away. It ’
s made the day feel agonizingly slow. I want to throw myself against him and tell him how sorry I am, just so he ’
ll look at me again with soft eyes. But I can ’
t.

He
’
s right; it was risky, triggering that attack.

But I found out important things that I wouldn ’
t have known otherwise. I know why Inez wants to kill herself now. Maybe it ’
ll help her heal if she talks about it. And I found out that Mason is spying on Jenna through her cell. That ’
s why he came home early when I was at her place. That ’
s how he knows what I ’
ve been saying to her. And that ’
s why he ’
s been beating her even more—because of our conversations.

I close my eyes, seeing Jenna again on the floor, curled up against the pain. She could lose the baby. Sustain internal injuries. Get a concussion. I know she can die. And I made it worse by telling her what I know while Mason listened in.

I chew on my lip so hard I draw blood. I have to find a way to get Jenna out of there—without her phone.

I look up at the wall clock. It ’
s almost three. I know where I ’
m going after school.

I glance across the seats at Gil. His shoulder is hunched up away from me. I sigh softly and watch the clock until the bell rings. I don ’
t even bother going to my locker; instead, I head out the heavy school doors into the warm afternoon. I make a wide circle around the kids smoking on the steps, squinting against the bright sun. Gil ’
s already in the parking lot, a group of girls around him, laughing, talking, touching his shirt, trying to get his attention. For a moment I think he might turn to look at me, but he ignores me.

My phone shrills. It ’
s Jenna.
“
Hello?
”

“
You bitch, how could you do this to me? I told you to back off!
”

“
Jenna? What are you talking about?
”

“
You phoned the cops on Mason!
”

“
What?
”
I stop walking.
“
No, I didn ’
t. I swear I didn ’
t.
”
My mind races. Who could have done this? A neighbor? But Jenna barely made a sound when Mason beat her. Mom and Dad? But they would have talked to me first.

“
Don ’
t lie to me. Mom and Dad would never do this.
”
Jenna ’
s screaming and crying, her voice breaking up.
“
I will not press charges against him, do you hear me? I ’
m going to bail him out. He ’
ll be back home tomorrow, where he belongs. You ’
ve gone too far, Kate. Crossed a line and done something you can ’
t take back.
”

“
I didn ’
t do it, Jenna; I swear!
”
I cry.
“
You know I wouldn ’
t!
”

A head turns. Gil
’
s looking at me, his face tense. My feet grow heavy. I know who did this.

“
I don ’
t know anything anymore, not when it comes to you. You are out of my life, Kate. For good!
”
The phone goes dead.

I stare at my cell, blinking. Then I stride toward Gil, ignoring the girls around him.

“
Hey!
”
one of the girls says.

I grab Gil
’
s arm and drag him away.

“
How could you do this to me?
”
I ask.
“
How could you betray me like this?
”

“
Betray you? I ’
m trying to protect you! To save your life!
”

The girls edge closer, fascinated. I yank Gil away even further.
“
I didn ’
t ask you to!
”

“
I couldn ’
t just stand by and watch you risk your life when there are other ways to deal with this.
”

“
Yeah. Ways that infuriate a man who ’
s good with his fists! You probably made him want to beat Jenna more! And me, too, now.
”

Gil rubs his chest.
“
I hadn ’
t thought of that. I ’
m sorry. I tried to be careful, said I was a neighbor hearing the screams. I got Inez to call, too. I didn ’
t think Jenna ’
d know. I ’
ll tell her it was me.
”

Around us, kids are texting; I know some of our conversation is being broadcast. But I ’
m too upset to care.

“
There ’
s no way you could know if I hadn ’
t told you, Gil. It all comes back to me.
”

“
I know it ’
s not a perfect solution. But it ’
s better than you killing yourself with an asthma attack, trying to save her.
”

I don
’
t have anything to say to that, so I turn and walk away.

Mom
’
s waiting for me in the doorway when I get home, her face lined with worry.
“
Did you call the police on Mason?
”

“
No!
”
I shut the door behind me.
“
You know I ’
d never do that!
”
I see the cops ’
suspicious faces, the flashing red and blue lights. Feel the fear and shame again. I turn and Mom ’
s standing there, blocking my way.

She holds me at arm ’
s length, studying my face. I look away.
“
But you know who did.
”

“
I didn ’
t ask him to!
”

Mom sighs and lets me go.
“
Gil called the police.
”

“
Mason ’
s going to kill her one day if someone doesn ’
t stop him.
”
He would have already if I hadn ’
t interrupted him.
I start to wheeze.

“
Take a breath, Kate. A deep breath. Good. ...Jenna said all they did was fight. That he didn ’
t touch her.
”

“
Because she ’
s too scared to admit it.
”

“
She ’
s so angry now; she won ’
t listen to anything I say. Not that she has since she ’
s been with Mason. You ’
re both stubborn and strong-willed—which I like most of the time.
”
Mom shakes her head.
“
Listen. I saw your peak flow meter readings from this morning. If it doesn ’
t get better tomorrow, I want you to stay home.
”

“
Mom!
”
I say.

Mom holds up her hand.
“
Your health is more important than anything. You know that.
”

I grit my teeth. But maybe a day or so away from Gil will be a good thing, give us both time to see things differently.
“
Fine, ”
I tell her.