“That doesn’t really happen in real life, Jack. Besides, he attacked me. I doubt he’ll be telling anyone about what happened.”
Jack thought about what I’d said. He nodded, presumably agreeing. “Probably, but we shouldn’t take any chances, anyway. But I guess now that we don’t have a body to get rid of, we’ll have to be on the lookout for this Henry guy. I very much doubt that we’ve seen the last of him.”
As Jack said those words I shivered, chilled to my core. I came and stood closer beside him, feeling only a little better.
“I’m scared, Jack. What will we do if he confronts us?”
Jack lifted up the gun for emphasis. “I’ve got a couple of ideas, Sophie, don’t you worry about that.”
I knew it was cheesy and all, but his words made me feel much better and I rested my head on his shoulder as he put his free arm around me. I felt safe in the warmth of his embrace, and I couldn’t wait until we were back at his place, safe and sound. No cold wind to makes us shiver, and no creepy photographers to try and kill us.
We walked slowly back to the bike, making sure that we were alone, and after we got on it, and as I put my arms around his waist, I thanked fate or whoever was responsible for bringing such a great man into my life. Maybe there wasn’t much of a romantic future between us, but we were definitely friends.
––––––––
A
fter we got back to Jack’s place, the door securely closed, the shutters down, and Jack’s reassurances that the glass was bulletproof, I finally felt safe enough to unpack some of my clothing and put it in the small closet in the guest room.
I needed a shower bad, and Jack promised to guard the door while I made myself presentable again. I was thankful for his offer, and dared not tell him that it was not necessary. It was necessary. I would have nightmares for the rest of my life about this night, but at least at the end, I had Jack to protect me, or at least trying to. Most girls don’t even have that much. I used to be like that. Alone in the world, at the mercy of a cruel man, but thankfully all of that was behind me now. I had a new life here, and though it might not have been perfect, at least I had good friends by my side, like Lucy and Jack.
I rinsed my body clean several times as I washed the events of the night away. I shuddered to think what would have happened if I hadn’t had my pepper spray with me. Lucy’s words echoed in my mind about what a creep Henry was, and now I knew that I should have actually heeded her warning. If I thought about it, which I did more than once since the events of the other day and now this very night, the signs were there. He was just too nice, and just a bit too interested in me. My skin crawled just imagining what kind of things he thought about me, and in turn I scrubbed harder.
After I was finished I dried myself with the thick fluffy towel Jack had given to me, and I looked myself in the mirror. I looked quite tired, but that was understandable. My long wet brown hair did not help my look, so I dried it with the towel as best I could. Then I noticed the fan by the counter and finished up with that. I attended to some of the cuts and bruises on my legs and arms, but thankfully there was nothing too severe that needed special attention. I put on a fresh pair of jeans and a t-shirt that I chose from my pile of clothes. I didn’t bother with a bra because I planned on going to sleep soon anyway.
I looked myself in the mirror and decided that that was the best I could do for now. Frankly, I was never too concerned about my appearance anyway, so I didn’t really know why I cared now. Even still, I had two men interested (sure, one of them was a crazy stalker lunatic with possible homicidal tendencies, but still) so I wondered what I should have done not to attract that kind of attention. I opened the bathroom door, the steam exiting the small space and saw Jack was sitting on the floor, reading one of the biographies I saw him fall asleep to earlier.
He looked up and smiled when he saw me.
“Ready to get something to eat?”
I nodded. Some food at that moment sounded heavenly. I didn’t realize it before, but as soon as he posed the question, I realized I was ravenously hungry.
We ate in silence for awhile, until the silence was broken by a question.
“Why did you go out there by yourself?” Jack asked, looking genuinely puzzled by my night stroll.
“I had the pepper spray,” I said defensively. “But I just didn’t want to bother you. You looked so peaceful on that sofa.”
“Well, I don’t care how peaceful or out of it I look, next time you wake me and I’ll go with you wherever and whenever, okay? Can you promise me that?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I guess I can,” I said. I felt like an idiot for going out in the middle of the night, but Lucy had always said that nothing ever happened on this island. Then my thoughts drifted to Josie’s diaries for some reason. Someone had hidden them in the walls of the house that stood where me and Jack were now. And while it might have been Josie herself, it didn’t seem too likely judging by the way she wrote things in her diary. She seemed to be a woman unafraid of anything, and not too concerned by social mores. If anything, it wouldn’t have surprised me if she had tried to publish her words. But now it seemed I was the only one privy to reading them.
I ate absentmindedly as I thought about Josie and the things she had written, when Jack broke through the barrier.
“What are you thinking about? If it’s that guy, then you have nothing to worry about. We’re perfectly safe here. I even turned on the alarm system that will warn us if anyone’s lurking outside. As long as a storm doesn’t cut the power, we’ll be perfectly safe. Even then, this house is built to withstand anything.”
“You really thought of everything when you had this place built, didn’t you? I remember when construction started and me and Lucy would walk by wondering what kind of rich asshole wanted to bulldoze the old house, which looked charming and quaint in its own right, to build something so...modern, I guess.”
“Yeah, I liked the old house, too. But it just wasn’t practical.” I watched him as he said those words, and I felt there was something left unsaid in them. Jack looked troubled somehow. Maybe it was just what had happened with Henry. God knows I was shook up by it, but I felt there was something more there.
“How did you choose this place, Jack? Why this miserable island in the middle of nowhere?” I hoped I wasn’t overstepping any lines.
He was quiet for a minute or two, probably trying to come up with the right combination of words, which made me even more suspicious.
“I was here once before. Not for long. A director thought it would be a good place to shoot some scenes, but we packed up pretty quick after the first thunderstorm hit. It seemed this place didn’t want to be on film. I walked by the beach and I saw the original house standing here and I was drawn to the location, and not to mention the gorgeous view.” I instinctively looked towards the ocean, though sadly saw only darkness. It didn’t help that Jack had closed the shutters.
“Once we were all packed up, I vowed to come back here some day. It seemed like the perfect place to get away from everything. I don’t know how the director had heard of it, but I’m glad he did. I paid a couple of contractors to build a new house here, and when I was fed up with Hollywood, I decided to come here. Recharge my batteries, for awhile. And then I met you. And now I’m reconsidering going back to that toxic world at all. God knows I don’t need any more money. I have more money than any one knows what to do with. I’m not saying that to brag, just to show you how I really feel about it all.”
After he had finished, I knew he was telling me the truth. There might have been things Jack was unwilling to share with me, but this wasn’t one of them. I looked at his sad eyes across the table, and I wanted to reach out and hold him in my arms, but I stayed where I was. I did not want to send him any false signals. All I wanted to be was his friend, and nothing more.
After we were done with our meal I helped Jack clean up. I started to wash the dishes and when he told me he’d do it, I refused. Our arms touched, skin to skin by the sink and I did not want the moment to end. But then I found myself saying that he should relax and let me do something for once. He reluctantly went back to the living room.
I don’t know why, but I kept replying that simple feeling, of him so close to me. His warmth palatable above all else.
Oh, Jack
, I thought,
what are you doing to me?
I felt quite tired after that and said goodnight. He offered to guard my door but I told him that it was okay, that I believed him when he said we were safe. Really, I was a bit scared, but I didn’t want him to have to waste time protecting me just because of some irrational fear I had. I left my door open, though, and he said he’d sleep on the sofa just in case. That made me feel a bit better.
I laid down on the bed and closed my eyes, but something else was on my mind. It was as if the diary in the drawer wanted me to read it, so after not falling asleep for almost half an hour, I relented and took the damn thing out, finding my bookmark pretty quick.
If nothing else, Josie’s words would make me forget the events of the day, and I definitely needed a break.
––––––––
A
t first I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to believe it I should say, for when I first noticed my belly grow, I hoped it would go away. It did not, my swollen belly only got bigger and bigger, and the cause of it was more than obvious. I hadn’t seen Thomas in months. Well, I’d seen him at the church. I still showed up at every sermon, hoping he would change his mind and come back into my arms. I was willing to forgive his cruel words if everything went back to just the way it was. If I was destined to just be his mistress and no more, I was more than happy to do that. I told him as much, but the look in his eyes when he looked upon me was almost chilling. It was as if he actually believed I was Hell-sent to destroy his life.
After the first such occurrence I could not hide my emotions and burst into terrible, aching tears.
Thomas kept his distance, however, and waited for me to stop sobbing. After I calmed down a bit, he said in a very stern voice: “Miss Browning, this relationship is over and it shall not happen again. Forget we were ever even together.”
“But how could I forget? Thomas, I could never forget you!” I threw myself into his arms but he moved beyond my reach and I was left clutching a chair. I remembered the good days, when the only reason I’d be clutching that chair would be when Thomas would surprisingly, and passionately come upon me from behind and lift up my skirts. Well, you get the picture. I shall not demean myself by going into all the sordid details.
Anyhow, I left him as I came: In tears. Since that fateful day I hadn’t spoken to him in weeks upon dreadful weeks. I was starting to feel a bit better. I thought about ruining his reputation, but once I really thought about it, I doubted that anyone would believe me. Thomas was loved by the whole community. I couldn’t say the same for myself. Other girls looked at me jealously, and so did the older women. Most of the men were friendly towards me, so that was something. In the end, I decided to keep our affair to myself. The only reputation I would probably succeed in ruining would be my own.
So while I was overtaken by melancholy, little by little, I was also getting better. I was getting used to the idea that our affair was a foolish mistake and I set about the intention for myself to find a suitable man, one that might even become my husband. Did I also fantasize about how jealous Thomas would be when he found out? Did I fantasize about him being the officiating priest? I would be a liar is I said that I did not, but these things were only natural. As was the growing belly which put a stop to all my plans. No man wanted to marry a woman carrying somebody else’s child.
So I found myself yet again in Thomas’s study, late at night, waiting for him to come through that door. What I heard as I waited and waited almost made my blood boil.
I heard a young girl, probably my age, laughing at something. I waited patiently, hoping I was wrong, but no sooner had that thought come to me, the love birds opened the door, their hands all over each other. It was Thomas, my beautiful handsome, Thomas, with his arms around a girl my age, maybe a couple of years younger. Once he saw me standing in the corner his face changed expression completely. He went from being happy and lustful, to being angry and hateful.
“Miss Browning, what are you doing here?” He basically hissed at me.
The girl had a confused look on her face. Thankfully, he told her to give us a minute and she left reluctantly. No, foolish girl, tonight you will not partake of my lover!
Immediately after she had left Thomas closed the door behind her. His arms were on my shoulders before I had a chance to breathe.
“Get out of here, Josie! This does not concern you!”
“I think it does. And I’m sure Mary would love to know you’ve found yet another young thing to fulfill your devilish desires!”
“You wouldn’t dare!” he basically screamed in my face.
“You are a terrible man, Thomas. A terrible man. You have not only betrayed one woman who loved you, but two!” I started to cry again, I just could not stop the tears. The thought of Thomas doing things with that girl that he had only done with me made me sick to my stomach, which in turn reminded me why I was there in the first place.
“All you girls are so dramatic. It is only but lust that drives me when I am with you. I save my love for the woman who deserves it: Mary. For she is the one and only one for me.”
“You’re a cruel, evil man,” I basically spit the words out one by one. “You never cared for me like I did you? You told me otherwise.”
“Listen, Josie, I didn’t mean to hurt you. That is why I broke things off between us. You had gotten the wrong idea. You wanted a real relationship, and all I wanted was to have some fun once in a while. Lily fulfills those needs for me now, and I don’t have to listen to her whine and moan and beg me to marry her. She’s smart enough to know that that will never happen. I thought you knew that as well, but apparently I was wrong. Now I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again: I do not want to see you anymore, Josie. Do not come to my sermons thinking I’ll come back into your arms like a lost puppy. You’re the only one who’s hurting here.”