Paper Dolls (13 page)

“I have something to tell you,” I blurted out as he pulled his lips off mine.

“Do I get three guesses?”

“I don’t want to make a game out of this.”

“Come on. Let me guess. Hmm…you’ve decided to leave me to join a travelling Shakespeare troupe.”

“No.”

“You’re going to start a band named the Udderly Irresistibles?”

“Come on, Clay, be serious.”

“I am always serious about music and Shakespeare.”

“Salem is back.”

He froze, his whole body tensing against me. His lips pursed together. He let go of me and moved aside to open the passenger door to his car to let me in. I climbed in and he shut the door. Through the silent bubble I watched as he walked slowly around the car.

There was a moment when the sounds of the world tumbled in through his open driver’s door before he climbed into the driver’s seat and shut it behind him. The world became muffled again. His lips were still pressed together as he put his hands on the steering wheel.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

His hands slipped from the wheel into his lap as he let out a breath. “What do you want me to say, Aria? Salem’s back. Wow. That’s great. You must be really happy.”

I frowned at him. There was an edge to his voice… It reminded me of something. It reminded me of how Salem sounded when I spoke about him. “I am,” I said slowly.

“The prodigal sister returns, huh? It’s you and Salem again. Like old times. Good old times. Call the
Daily Times
.”

He was rambling. Why was he rambling?

Something flashed across his face. He was afraid. What was he so afraid of?

I grabbed his arm, stopping him so I could face him. “This doesn’t change anything between us, Clay.”

“Yeah, sure. Nothing changes and yet everything does.”

He didn’t believe me. And I even didn’t believe me. He wasn’t the main person in my life anymore. That position was now shared. Between Salem and Clay. My stomach started to grip with a looming warning.

“Do you want to have dinner with Salem and me?”

He looked at me as if I had struck him.  “You’re kidding, right?”

“Why would I kid about that? I can cook, something simple. I don’t have a dining table but we could sit on the floor like the Japanese do. You could bring wine…”

He frowned and he looked as if he was choosing his next words carefully. “Is
she
okay with this dinner arrangement?”

No, but he didn’t need to know that. I just needed one of them to say yes first, then I would get to work on convincing the other. “Why wouldn’t she be?”

“I just don’t see why Salem would agree to dinner with me when she’s already made it perfectly clear that−”

“Clear that what?”

“Nothing. Forget I said anything.” He started the car and pulled out into the road.

“No, finish your sentence. You said you didn’t see why Salem would agree to have dinner with you when she’s made it perfectly clear that…” Realisation stung me like nettles. “Oh my God. You met her already.”

He sighed, resigned, and I knew I had guessed right. “I came by earlier this morning. She answered the door. I…I thought she was you.”

My blood went cold as an image of Clay smiling at Salem as if she were me came into my mind, his dark eyes sparkling like gems.
Hey angel, I missed you.
He leaned in to kiss her.

“What happened this morning?” I demanded.

“Nothing. She told me who she was before I could… She said you were busy getting ready.”

I could see Salem flinching out of his grasp.
Don’t touch me.

Surprise broke apart the smile on his face.
Aria?

I’m not Aria, freak.

Was this why Clay was so upset this morning? Of course it was. Stupid girl.

The remnants of the anger from this morning curled at his top lip. “Why didn’t you tell me she was back?”

“I’m sorry. It only just happened. I was waiting for the right time…” My excuses sounded lame even to me. “Why didn’t you tell me you met her this morning?”

“I don’t know. I figured I’d let her tell you…or something.” There was something in his voice that struck me. He was afraid of her. Afraid of Salem. Salem could be so unpredictable. And when she didn’t like someone…

“What did she say to you? What did she do?”

He grimaced. “I…don’t think she likes me.”

“Why do you say that?”

He swallowed, his eyes were focused unblinking at the road. “I just don’t want to cause anything… I don’t want to get in between you.”

Things were falling apart before they started. “Okay, so maybe dinner isn’t a good idea. Not yet.”

He let out a huge breath. “Aria, don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t get the feeling that Salem is the kind that shares.”

His words stabbed my skin and wriggled underneath me.
Just you and me, Rosey.
I feared he was right.

No, I refused to believe that I couldn’t have Clay and Salem both happily in my life. I would fix this. They just needed to get used to the other. Over time they would warm up to each other, once they both saw that I wasn’t going to ditch one for the other, that I wouldn’t choose between them, they would be more understanding of each other. Then I could introduce them properly. Then we could sit down for dinner. Me, Salem and Clay.

One happy family.

There was no cinema in Mirage Falls so Clay drove us to Noosa. At least movies were one thing we could agree on. There was enough darkness in my life that I didn’t need to see it in films. Clay agreed. We watched an animated film, a light, funny flick.

After the movie was over we strolled along the low wooden boardwalk on Noosa beach. He bought me an ice cream cone from a small gelateria stand.

“You’re not having one?” I asked him when he paid for mine without ordering another for himself.

He shook his head and grinned. “I’m sweet enough.”

I rolled my eyes. As we walked side by side I took a large lick of my ice cream, then another one. It was only once it was almost totally gone that I noticed him starting at me, his top teeth biting into his bottom lip as if he was trying to hold down a smile.

“What?”

He shook his head and that bottom lip escaped into a full blown grin. “I just enjoy watching you eat that ice cream.”

I blushed. I took another bite. A large one. One that made my head throb from the coldness. He was still looking at me. “You want a bite?”

“No, thanks.”

“Quick before it’s all gone.”

“You enjoy it.”

I frowned. “I don’t have cooties or anything.”

“I’m not scared of cooties. I kissed you, remember?”

“Don’t you like ice cream?”

“I do, I just…” He shrugged. “I have to watch my diet.”

I almost snorted chunky monkey nutter butter out my nose. “You? Diet?” I gave him a look over. No wonder he stayed in such great shape if he wouldn’t even eat a single bite of ice cream. “Well, I feel like a fatty now.”

He stopped us, right in the middle of the boardwalk, amidst grumbles of other beachside walkers. “You are perfect. And I’ll challenge anyone who says otherwise. Even you.” He leaned down to cover my mouth with his. I think I dropped the last of my cone. Ice cream, even chunky monkey nutter butter ice cream, had nothing on his kisses. I wrapped my arms around his neck, tangling my fingers in his hair and losing myself further and further in him. The mutterings and footsteps of people moving around us faded away. When had I stopped caring what strangers thought?

Finally he pulled his lips away. He kept his arm around my waist as he led me off the boardwalk. “You ready for me to take you home?”

I certainly was not. I felt so awake that I may never fall asleep again. In fact that kiss was still tingling through my arms and legs like a live wire.

I cleared my throat and tried to make my suggestion as casual as possible. “Why don’t we go to yours? The night’s still young and I don’t have to work tomorrow…”

He tensed against me as we continued to walk to the car. “You don’t want to come back to mine.”

I frowned. “Why not?”

“It’s a mess.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Well, I do.”

“I’ve never been to your apartment.”

“It’s not that exciting.”

“But I’ve never even seen it before.”

“Maybe another time, okay? I have something to do tomorrow morning. I’m pretty tired.”

“What are you up to? Can I come?”

“No. It’s just errand stuff. Really boring. You wouldn’t want to come.” But he wasn’t looking at me as he said it.

* * *

“You’re home early,” Salem said from the couch as I walked in the door later that night. “It’s not even midnight. Didn’t the date with loverboy go well?”

“It was great.” But even I could tell there was something flat in my voice.

She raised an eyebrow.

I didn’t want to talk about it. I wasn’t even sure I knew myself what it was that I didn’t want to talk about. The date really was amazing like it always was with Clay. It was just the end bit…after I said I wanted to go over to his place.

“I asked Clay about the three of us having dinner.” I said, changing the subject.

Clay had said goodbye to me on the sidewalk. He hadn’t even wanted to come up to the front door. 

Salem sat with her arms crossed on the couch. The top of her lip twitched. “What did he say?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you met Clay?”

She scowled. “Did loverboy tell on me, did he?”

“No. I guessed it based on his reaction to−” I sighed. I had wanted to have been the one to introduce them, in a controlled environment. This morning would have been a shock for Clay, not knowing that Salem was even back, and a shock for Salem, not realising that Clay would be coming. Usually he waited for me on the sidewalk so I hadn’t thought to warn her. “What happened between you two?”

Her eyes narrowed to slits. “What are you implying, dear sister?”

“I’m not implying anything. I’m just asking what happened this morning when you met.”

“Nothing. He came to the door. I told him to come back later as you were otherwise occupied. End of story.”

No, it wasn’t. I knew there was something Salem wasn’t telling me.

Add that to the list.

That night I couldn’t sleep.

I listened to Salem’s heavy breathing and stared up at the ceiling, thinking over everything that had happened today. Clay’s strange behaviour this morning after he met Salem. The text. His refusal to take me back to his apartment.

Could they all be related? Why would he be so upset over meeting Salem? What had she said to him?

Then there was Salem…why didn’t she tell me she’d already met Clay? Why did she get so defensive when I asked her about it? I turned my head and watched her chest rising and falling as she breathed, her long hair splayed across the pillow looking as dark as blood in the dim light.

I thought my life couldn’t get better when Salem returned. Having Clay and Salem felt like my heart could barely contain the love I now had. So why did it feel like things were only just beginning to crack apart?

Why did it feel like both Clay and Salem were keeping things from me?

* * *

Salem was waiting for me in the bedroom when I got out of the bathroom.

“Hey,” she said.

I tugged the knot on my bathrobe tighter around me. “Hey.”

She broke eye contact. “Sorry I didn’t tell you about meeting loverb− I mean, Clay.”

“It’s okay.”

“Sorry, for…being weird lately. I know it must be hard for you to have me waltz back into your life like this, disrupting your plans…”

“Salem,” I walked over to the bed and sat next to her. “You are not a disruption.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Yes, you are.” Her mouth parted in a mild shock. “But,” I continued, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

She lunged at me, wrapping her arms around me. I hugged her, relishing the feel of her solid body under my arms. All those times in the last three years I thought I had seen her and it turned out it had just been a ghost in my mind. But now she was really here.

I sighed happily. These were just teething problems that Salem and Clay and I were going through. Soon the pieces would fall into place and we would all figure out how to live with each other.

“Let’s go away,” she said in my ear.

“What?” That was not what I had in mind. I pulled back to look at her.

“Yeah, let’s you and me just go. Let’s just pack up your car and drive away.”

“Go where?” I pulled myself out of her grasp. “For how long?”

“Anywhere. Just away from here. And never come back. We can start over somewhere else.”

“I can’t just leave.”

“You can. We can. Let’s leave now. Right now.” She stood, pulling at my arms, trying to drag me up to my feet.

I struggled against her. “No, I can’t. I have a job here−”

She snorted. “You can’t really tell me that selling dildos is a burgeoning
career
for you?”

“I can’t just leave my job.”

“You don’t even have a job contract. You don’t owe your boss anything.”

“I won’t let Flick down. She’s my friend.”

“Please. If she needed to get rid of staff don’t you think you would be the first to go?”

“She wouldn’t do that to me.”

Salem growled. “That’s beside the point. I’m your sister. I need you. You don’t need anyone but me.”

“I don’t have enough money to just go.”

“Don’t lie to me. If I know you, you’ll have plenty saved.”

She did know me. When we were kids, I was the one who saved my shiny dollars to slip into my piggybank, a solemn red telephone box like the ones they had in England where Mama originally came from. Our grandmother had sent it, apparently. I hadn’t known much about her.

“Come on, Rosey,” Salem said, her eyes glassy, “come with me. I need you. I can’t stay here. But I can’t go without you.”

“But I have a life here…” I trailed off as guilt wrapped its hands around my neck. This was the issue, wasn’t it? What was more important to me: what she wanted or what I wanted?