Paper Doll (22 page)

‘You’re hurting me.’

‘Stop whining, Julia . . . I need to hurt you . . . you’re much too rebellious and must learn to treat me with respect. Tell me about the play . . . What was the hero’s name?’

‘Hideous . . . no, no . . . it was Phidias.’

The light was suddenly switched on and she squinted against it.

‘I suppose you think that was funny.’

‘No . . . it was a mistake, the sleeping pill has made my mind go fuzzy.’

‘Never hang up the telephone on me again,’ he said, and he slapped her face.

All vestiges of sleep fled, and just in time she remembered not to cry out, so it became a muffled groan. It was bad enough that Mrs Finnigan felt sorry for her without the staff here doing the same.

Eventually, Latham finished his punishment of her, satisfied himself and left for his own room.

Julia quietly cried herself to sleep. There couldn’t have been a worse way to end such a beautiful evening.

S
eptember and October passed in a swirling glory of metallic colours. Autumn drifted from the trees in bronze, copper, brass and gold shapes and fragments. Nuts fell to the ground, rust coloured and glossy.

Julia didn’t have a chance to be alone with Martin again, though she managed to talk to him over the telephone on a couple of occasions.

‘I found an address for my mother amongst my father’s papers and wrote to her,’ he told her. ‘Loving you has shown me that emotion is a strong force. I can’t condemn her for being human, and she must have wondered about me.’

‘That’s wonderful, Martin. I’m so pleased, and I hope everything goes well.’

‘I’m also making enquiries about what’s available to me in my profession. I should be able to get some locum work after I’ve been cleared as being fit to resume my profession.’

‘Good luck, my darling . . . I love you.’

‘And I you.’

Latham still came to Surrey at weekends, spending his weekdays in London. Sometimes he spent the weekend behind his desk, or on the telephone, and sometimes he just relaxed, taking long walks with the dogs. People came from the village for lunch or a game of tennis on the newly built court, and she was almost happy sometimes.

Julia realized she’d missed a period, and a little quiver of excitement lodged in her. When she missed the second one she was almost sure.

She woke one morning and went down to breakfast. Agnes Finnigan served her bacon and eggs for breakfast. Julia took one look at her plate and sprinted to the bathroom.

When she returned to the dining room the eggs had been replaced with a piece of toast and some gooseberry conserve to spread on it. Mrs Finnigan had a smile on her face, and Julia grinned. ‘I’ve missed two, so I’d better go and see the doctor.’ Her smile faded. ‘Then I must tell Latham.’

‘Congratulations, my dear. It will be lovely to have a baby in the house. Mr Miller will be pleased.’

The doctor was all smiles as he examined her. ‘It seems as though your suspicions are correct, Mrs Miller. Your baby should be born about the end of May. You’re a little on the thin side, so you must eat healthy food and drink plenty of milk. My nurse will give you a list of what will be needed for your lying-in. Goodness, that’s quite an arrangement of bruises on your thighs. How did that happen?’

‘I tripped over a table. I haven’t told my husband about the baby yet . . . He might want me to have the baby in London and be under the care of a specialist gynaecologist.’

‘You tell him that the country air will do you good, and I’ve delivered hundreds of healthy babies in my time. Better still, send him to see me and I’ll tell him myself. I’ll also remind him not to leave any more tables in your way, since we don’t want any harm to come to mother or infant, do we?’

She blushed, She should have known the doctor wouldn’t have been fooled by her injuries.

Julia’s first thought when she arrived home was to telephone Martin, because she was sure it was his baby. But it was Latham who answered. ‘Julia . . . how did you know I was here?’

Her heart sank and she thought quickly. ‘Didn’t you mention it over breakfast last weekend? I’ve just got back from seeing the doctor.’

‘Your voice sounds odd . . . Is something wrong?’

‘No, Latham . . . nothing is wrong.’ And indeed, she couldn’t stop smiling as she blurted it out, because even if it turned out to be Latham’s baby she’d still love the child. ‘The doctor tells me that I’m perfectly healthy. I’m expecting a baby, that’s all, around about May. The doctor said I should give birth to the baby here, since the country air will be beneficial . . . and he’s delivered hundreds of babies.’

‘I’ll talk to the doctor myself, to make sure.’ There was a moment of silence then he whispered, ‘You’ve made me a very happy man, Julia. I’ll be home early tonight, and you won’t have to worry about a thing. I’ll hire a nurse to look after you, and I’ll have a room turned into a nursery.’

There was a noise in the background and she heard him say, ‘Lee-Trafford. I’d like you to be the first to know; Mrs Miller is expecting a baby in May.’

‘Congratulations,’ she heard him say, and her heart ached and her mind reached out to him.

‘You can talk to Julia if you like. I’m going to make sure they get the right balance on that press they’re installing. Lee-Trafford wants to talk to you, darling. I’ll see you this evening. The car is being serviced so I’ll take the afternoon train.’

A few seconds later Martin’s voice said, ‘Julia . . . he’s gone.’

‘Oh, Martin. I wanted to tell you first . . . I didn’t expect Latham to be there. I’m sure this is our baby.’

‘Julia, my sweet. A baby changes things considerably. It will need a loving, stable home and the reassurance of being cared for by its parents. Are you really
sure?’

‘Well . . . no, because there’s no way I could know for sure . . . but I wanted it to be ours.’

‘Wanting it is something entirely different. Besides, you said you were using that birth control cap . . . You
did
wear it, didn’t you?’

She didn’t answer. ‘What shall we do?’

‘We have two choices. The first is that we can tell Latham that we love each other, and you can leave him and move in with me. I’m going back to my profession, and will have to be retrained. I might be able to find another job and put the retraining off until later. It will be hard, but we’d manage somehow.’

She shuddered at the thought of what would happen when they told Latham. ‘And the alternative?’

‘You know what the alternative is. You must settle down in your marriage with Latham and your child, and make the best of it. What’s more, we must never see each other again. I’ll probably move back to Bournemouth eventually. We can’t go on like we are, Julia. It’s not fair to anyone, least of all the coming infant. I wasn’t brought up to embrace dishonesty and subterfuge. If you’d seen Latham’s face when he told me, he was so proud . . . Julia . . . for God’s sake, stop crying, my darling . . . We have to be strong. You never answered my question about the birth control device. We need to be rational, since there is more to this than us. The infant’s future should also be taken into consideration.’

If she left Latham and went with Martin she’d be the cause of him having to give up his career. In fact, if she went with him, she would most likely ruin his future altogether. Hadn’t he been through enough?

Tears flooded her cheeks as she took the course that would be the most secure for the man she loved. ‘I did wear it,’ she lied, ‘but perhaps it didn’t work.’

‘That’s unlikely. The child is more likely to be Latham’s, you know.’

‘I know. I just didn’t want it to be his. Can I think about it a bit longer? If it’s Latham’s baby . . . well, it wouldn’t be fair to deprive the child of its father’s love. I’ll be in touch when I’ve decided, Martin.’

They both knew she would do no such thing and this was the end. ‘Once you have your baby in your arms everything will seem different and you’ll be able to see things in their proper perspective.’

‘Yes, I expect you’re right. You won’t think badly of me, will you? For coming to you, for loving you so much; I mean . . . I couldn’t bear it if you did.’

‘Never, Julia. I’ll adore every memory of you until the day I die. By the way, the letter I sent to my mother was returned. She hasn’t lived at that address for years.’

‘Oh, how disappointing. I’m so sorry.’

She didn’t want to hang up but thought she’d better get it over with before Latham realised they were still talking on the telephone. ‘Goodbye, my love.’ And then she gave a watery chuckle. ‘We sound like actors in a film . . . a melodramatic story of unrequited love.’

‘We
are
a love story, just remember that.’

‘Yes, we are,’ she whispered as she hung up, ‘because I’ll never stop loving you.’

Martin knew that the time had come for him to move on. He’d loved and lost – and although Julia was a permanent part of his heart he’d survive the inevitable conclusion to their affair. Knowing she loved him might even have strengthened him.

He would think things over, and come up with a plan before he told Latham. No, this was the incentive he’d needed. He would tell him now, give him time to think it over and get someone else.

He gazed to where Latham Miller stood, hands in pockets as he watched the machine being installed. It would thump all day, stamping out metal objects and gradually causing deafness in the employees.

Martin joined him. ‘That’s going to be noisy. The workers should be supplied with earmuffs.’

‘Factories are noisy places. They’ll soon get used to it.’

Latham was an enigmatic man with strength of purpose and a streak of ruthlessness.

‘I’ve decided to retrain and resume my former profession.’

His employer turned, his dark eyes giving nothing of his thoughts away, and making no attempt to retain Martin on his staff, which did little for his pride. ‘When do you want to leave?’

‘I was thinking that a month’s notice would give us both time to make arrangements. I’ll stay longer if you get stuck.’

Latham nodded. ‘I won’t get stuck; I’ll promote a foreman from one of my other factories to take over the running of the place as manager. In fact, I’ll send him over to work with you so the factory hands will know what to expect when you leave. Some people don’t take kindly to changes in management and methods, and that will give them time to get used to a different way of doing things. My staff have always been interchangeable, and the man I have in mind will get the best out of the factory hands. If you decide to leave earlier, I’ll still pay you out for the month and will leave instructions with the clerk.’ He held out a hand. ‘If I don’t see you again, good luck, Lee-Trafford.’

His imminent departure was not going to bother Latham Miller one little bit. In fact, Martin had gained the impression that the man was relieved.

Miller was about to walk away when he said, ‘Have you got rid of all those toys yet? If not, throw them out; we’ll need the storage area in a few weeks.’

‘I thought we could donate what’s left to an orphanage.’

‘A good idea. I’ll arrange some publicity in one of the newspapers for the handover day. I’ll bring Julia up to London, and they can take a photograph of us with the orphans. It will be good for business. See to it, would you? I’ll take one of the rocking horses home for the nursery, too. Julia will like that. Robert will come in for it later. Pick one out and give it a dust off if you would.’

It sounded as though Latham wasn’t bothered about him handing in his notice, and indeed, he had taken it into account and planned his replacement. What a cold fish the man was.

‘You must be pleased about the coming baby. You’re a lucky man to be married to such a lovely woman.’

An expansive smile lit Latham’s face. ‘It was more judgement than luck. A baby will settle Julia down a bit. She’s been restless since her father died, which is why I asked you to take her to that play. Planning for a baby will keep her occupied. By the way, I believe you paid for the dinner yourself . . . You must allow me to reimburse you.’

‘That won’t be necessary. It was my pleasure to spend an evening in the company of such a delightful woman.’ And the nights, Martin added silently, the next moment hating his own hypocrisy.

‘I wouldn’t trust any other man with my wife’s care, Lee-Trafford, so thank you. I’ll be able to spend more time with her once this place is up to scratch.’

Martin picked out a grey dappled horse with a dark mane and red leather accessories. It was one that the baby’s grandfather had painted the spots on and signed his name to. Martin’s fingertips ran over the name. Benjamin Howard. Julia would like that. As he cleaned the dust from it he knew it was one he’d pick for his own son if he had one, and he allowed himself to wonder for just a moment . . . what if? But no, Julia had taken precautions; and just as well in the absence of his lack of foresight. Bringing women home wasn’t a habit he indulged himself in.

There was a package of Rosie dolls left on a shelf. He decided to keep those for himself and took them down to the office.

Harold Clapton arrived the following week. He was loud and hectoring, but he knew his job, and Martin found himself almost redundant.

‘You’ve got to make the lazy buggers work,’ he said the following day. ‘I’ve got my eye on that spotty young man over there. He’s slow, and he needs a boot up his backside.’

‘He hasn’t had much education and doesn’t learn easily, but he’s a willing worker when he’s shown how to do it. His wage helps to support his family.’

‘With respect, Miller Enterprises is not a charity, Mr Lee-Trafford.’

The following week the young man was dismissed without notice. ‘I’ve cleared it with Mr Miller,’ Harold said. ‘I’ve got to get this factory into production and showing a profit by the end of next month, else I’ll be out of work myself. There’s no room for slackers. I don’t know why you’re staying on to work out your notice. You’ve cleaned out the toys, and there’s nothing left for you to do.’

‘Are you implying that I’m a slacker, Mr Clapton?’

He shrugged. ‘I know that you’re not. You’re superfluous to the factory work-force, that’s all. I understand you’re going back to doctoring.’