Pants on Fire (36 page)

After twelve hours' solid sleep, I felt well enough to go to work the next morning. At six, I returned to the hospital and Johnny and Jenny went off to get some food. Debbie was sleeping peacefully. I sat and held her hand and talked to her, telling her how much people loved her, how she'd be able to get over Drew's death if only she would grieve for him properly, and how sure I was that eventually she'd fall in love with someone else. Maybe he'd never quite measure up to Drew, I told her sleeping face, because if Rory was anything to go by, the Stewart brothers would be hard to match, but he would be wonderful in his own way.

Then the door opened and Rory Stewart walked in. I desperately hoped he hadn't heard what I'd just been saying and did my usual impression of a recently cooked lobster. He was holding a beaten-up toy rabbit.

“Hi, Georgia.” He smiled at me gently. “I've brought Bunny down from the country to keep Debs company.” He nodded Bunny's head at me and waved his paw. Then he came over to the bed, kissed Debbie on the cheek and tucked the rabbit under the sheet next to her.

“Drew gave it to her. I thought it might help when she wakes up.”

He kissed my cheek, and I felt a small and completely irrational pang of jealousy that he'd kissed Debbie first.

“Did you drive all the way over to the Brents' place to get that rabbit?” I asked him. “And then all the way down here to deliver it?”

He nodded. “But I'm staying down for a while to help you guys out with the roster. It's the least I can do.”

We sat and looked at her sleeping peacefully. She was so pale and grey.

“Jenny told me you found her, Georgia. Said you saved her life.”

“I don't feel like I deserve any credit—I wish I could have done something sooner, before this happened, but—”

“Come on, Georgia, we all know how impossible she was being. She was set to self-destruct—remember the rodeo? That wasn't rational behaviour. All that counts is that you were there when she needed you most. You knew she was close enough to the edge to go and look for her. That's what mattered.”

“Well, it wasn't just me . . . Antony was there too.”

“Oh, yeah—who exactly is this Antony? Jenny mentioned him.”

“You met him at the races . . .”

Rory's eyes widened.

“I know, I know, he was appalling,” I said quickly. “He'd had too much to drink—in fact, he vomited very shortly after you saw us.”

“So was
that
Debbie's great friend the dressmaker—the one I've heard so much about?”

I nodded, smiling to myself at the thought of Antony hearing himself described as a dressmaker.

“I thought that guy was your boyfriend,” said Rory, smiling his most attractive smile, most of it in the eyes. “I was beginning to wonder about your taste in men, Georgia. Are you still seeing the guy I saw you with at Cordelia's party?”

“No. It ended. No great drama. What about your love life? You looked very busy at the end of that party yourself . . . Has Fiona been up to the farm much?”

He looked uncomfortable. “Yes, she's been a couple of times . . .”

But before I could pursue the issue, Johnny and Jenny came back, closely followed by Antony, who was just arriving for his shift. Why were my conversations with Rory always interrupted, I wondered, as he kissed Jenny and was introduced to Antony, who I noticed gave him a very thorough once-over. And why did we always have to wait to meet by chance?

There wasn't really space for all of us in the room, so it was agreed Jenny and Rory should stay with Debbie, and Antony could go back to the canteen with Johnny. And I could go home. On my own. I know they weren't intentionally leaving me out, but I couldn't help feeling it. Antony practically dragged Johnny from the room so he could have him to himself. Then I went to kiss Jenny and Rory goodbye and as I was about to move away he held on to my arm and whispered: “You look very pretty when you blush, Georgia.”

Which made me do it all over again.

Chapter Twenty-two

There was a very strange atmosphere in the
Glow
office. Although she wasn't in there much compared to the rest of us, there was a great gaping hole where Debbie should have been.

Everyone seemed to be talking in hushed voices, and every time I came out of my office there were huddles of people gathered round the photocopier, exchanging half-digested snippets of information about how they'd thought there was something wrong with Debbie, but they hadn't liked to say anything. I suspected they were enjoying the drama and that they felt a bit of malicious pleasure at seeing the spoiled princess cut down to size so publicly.

Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I marched into Maxine's office.

“Can you please do something about those whispering ghouls out there?” I said. “They're behaving like people who slow down to look at a car crash—and more to the point, none of them are doing any work.” I knew that would make her sit up. Maxine was very keen on everyone doing as much work as possible.

“Good point, Georgie. I'd noticed a decline in productivity. SERA, COME IN HERE NOW—I WANT YOU TO ORGANISE A STAFF LUNCH . . . TODAY . . . EVERYONE . . . NO EXCUSES.”

But the dramatic atmosphere did have its positive side. Maxine had taken charge of organising Debbie's rehab arrangements for the Brents (plenty of opportunities to talk to Johnny, I thought ungenerously) and it made me realise I had a duty to look after Liinda. She was wracked with guilt.

“I should have noticed the signs,” she kept saying, rocking back and forwards in her chair. “If anyone could have saved her it was me.” She was almost catatonic. “I had no idea she was injecting, George. I should have seen it coming . . .”

It was awful to see her like that, especially when she'd been so happy recently. As I had no intention of going to Maxine's free lunch for the rubberneckers, I insisted Liinda come to BBQ King with me.

“You couldn't have helped her,” I said, lighting a cigarette for her and putting it into her mouth as our meals arrived. “To use your own parlance, she had to ‘bottom out.' She had—and the great thing is that now you
can
help her—better than anyone. When she comes out of rehab and comes back to work and starts going to fragrance launches and all that crap again, it's going to be really hard for her not to drink, and you'll know exactly how to support her.”

“I can take her to group,” she said, brightening.

The thought of Debbie at an NA meeting full of “ghastly, ugly, ordinary people,” as she would call them, was a bit hard to imagine, but I did have a strong feeling that now it was all out in the open, we were going to see a lot of big changes in Princess Debbie.

Liinda was already looking positively excited at the prospect of inducting another lost soul into the glories of the Twelve-Step programme. Now I had to take the first step towards my own little confession.

“Liinda, if you think you can take another small shock there's something I have to tell you. It's not easy. I feel bad about it.”

“It's OK, Georgia,” she said, snapping open a can of Diet Coke. “I already know what it is.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. You've been seeing Jasper O'Connor since just before Easter.” She lifted her can to me and smiled. “Cheers.”

“You already know?”

“I've known since you went away with him.”

“But you didn't say anything.”

“No, I thought I'd wait and see if you wanted to tell me.”

“Have I failed some kind of test?”

“Nope. In fact you've done me a huge favour.” She took a big drag on her cigarette and blew the smoke straight up into the air. She was enjoying herself.

“I have?”

“Yes. But you obviously have reason to believe it would bother me. So tell me what you know about me and Jasper—or rather, what you've been told.”

What should I say? Everyone in Sydney thinks you are a raving psychopath? Or should I give her a sanitised version that wouldn't really help either of us sort this out? I decided on the truth.

“Well, I've been told that you and Jasper were really good friends, until you slept with him once and then you turned into a raging psycho.”

Liinda laughed an Antony-style laugh, that turned into a spluttering cough.

“Oh George, that's what I love about you. Total honesty. I'd love to hear you in a group therapy session—when someone was saying, ‘I think you might be transferring the anger you feel towards your mother onto me,' you'd just say, ‘You're a complete psycho—get back!' ”

It was great to see her laughing again.

“And yes, that's exactly what happened. I went stark-raving mad. But, of course, there is more to it than that.”

“I thought there might be.”

“You see, I really loved Jasper. You know what I mean by that—I really
loved
him. You know how gorgeous he can be, right?”

I nodded. I did. And I didn't appreciate it at the time.

“Anyway, we were very close. We had one of those psychic friendships—he'd start singing a song that I had going round in my head, I'd always know when he was about to call, all that stuff. I really believed we'd get together eventually, but he was so tied up with the whole bullshit of fashion and models. A real woman like me just didn't figure for him.”

She took another big drag and sighed.

“So when he slept with me I thought he'd taken a considered decision to move it on to the next stage. I never thought he'd just do it because he was drunk and horny and I was the only woman around. I didn't believe he could do that to me because Jasper knew everything about me.” She looked at me. “Everything. All that stuff I told you—and a whole lot more, because you do some pretty stupid things to get your hands on drugs when you're a junkie. You go places you shouldn't go and do things you wish you hadn't. You sleep with people to get drugs, get my drift?”

I did.

“Anyway, all of that makes you very wary of having sex with anyone once you get yourself straight. It doesn't have many lovey-dovey romantic associations anymore. And Jasper knew that. He knew all that and he still thought I would be fine for a quick root, no strings attached.”

“Ouch. I can see why you went round the bend.”

“Thank you. It doesn't justify how I behaved, but I hope you'll think it explains it a bit.”

I nodded. “And I'm sure you understand,” I said. “That if I'd known all that I would never have gone near Jasper O'Connor. You did try to warn me off, I know, but just like you said, after all that business with Plonker Pollock, I wanted a nice, easy little affair with someone charming—and Jasper really is charming, as you know.”

“He's bloody gorgeous . . .” said Liinda. “And he's a top root too, isn't he?”

Which made us both laugh like Antony.

“Sushi sisters!” I cried and we clinked our drinks.

“Double sushi sisters,” said Liinda.

“Oh my god,” I said. “So you were Plonkered and then Jaspered.”

She nodded.

“No wonder you went insane.”

“I'm over it now, but tell me, George—who told you about me stalking him in the first place?”

“A woman called Tania.”

“Oh God, don't tell me she's still carrying a torch for him. Unbelievable. She's been chasing Jasper for years. Well, trying to get him back, anyway.”

“Get him back?”

“It was worth telling you that to see your face,” she said. “They lived together for ten years. Jasper met her when he first went to art school. She was the Older Woman. She's never got over him.”

I had my head in my hands. It was all too much.

“Don't worry” said Liinda. “It's just Sydney. I'm glad you had a good time with him for five minutes and I'm also glad it's over. But don't think too badly of Jasper.”

“Really? Sounds like he was a total bastard to you.”

“No. He's just weak. We should both just remember the nice things about him and feel sorry for him that he keeps messing up his life by being so weak-willed. That's what I've come to realise, and it's all part of the big favour you've done me.”

“Explain.”

She took another long drag of her cigarette. “You've proved to me that I'm definitely over it. Like I said, I knew you and he had got together the moment it started and I was determined to handle it. I did. So this has been one of the most important proofs I've had that I'm truly well now.”

“That's great.”

“And that's not all. You know that press tip to Hawaii I went on? I met someone on it. Someone really nice.”

“That's fantastic . . .” I think my voice sounded a little unsure.

“No, I'm not imagining it this time. I met him at an NA meeting in Honolulu. He's great. A session drummer. A Buddhist. A really interesting guy. We clicked immediately and he came on the rest of the trip to the other islands with me. He's a Cancerian. Scorpio rising too.”

“That's the best news I've heard for ages.”

“And you haven't heard it all yet. We've been emailing each other ever since and he's coming over here to see me in two weeks.”

“Liinda,” I said, grasping her hand. “You deserve this. I really hope it works out for you. What's his name?”

She laughed loudly again.

“Jasper.”

My mouth gaped open.

“Honestly—his name is Jasper. But I'm going to make him change it to Jazzpa—the numerology is better.”