Panties for Sale (5 page)

Men
are so stupid.
 
It’s always about their
pricks.
 

Alex,
that’s her name.
 
Yeah, she’s a
trip.
 
She refused to be with handicapped
guys.
 
Jesus Christ. That’s like half my
morning gigs right there.
 
I mean there
ain’t nothing wrong with them.
 
Everything
works down there.
  
Where the hell else
are they going to get girls?
 
And they
are nice men.
 
Nicer than most other man
I know.
 
They pay well too.
 
Easy job, actually.
 
Yeah, I’ll have to keep my eye on Alex.
Spoilt little daddy’s girl.
 

Girl
number 2?
 
She’s Chinese.
 
No.
 
No. Japanese.
 
I’m not sure that I
need another Asian girl.
 
I’ve already
got three from the Philippines.
 
I guess that’s different.
 
I don’t have any Japanese girls.
 
But do I really need one that doesn’t
speak?
 
Can she even speak English?
 
God damned.
 
But she’s beautiful.
 
Yeah, that
was odd.
 
When I first saw her, I didn’t
even know what she was doing here.
 
Shy,
quiet, flat, tiny and plain as day.
 
Not
ugly.
 
No, but just well,
unnoticeable.
  
But then when she put all
that god damned makeup on.
 
Lord
Halleluiah.
 
Bloody Lucy Liu in my
office.
 
Japanese right?
 
Wait a minute, she might a gold mine.

TORGUY71:
 
u sound sexy!!!?!?!
 
wanna chat?

Sassygirl: ok…...
 
how ru?

TORGUY71:
 
horny ;)

Sassygirl: oh really?

TORGUY71:
 
can I see your picture?

Sassygirl: only if I can c u first.

TORGUY71:
 
playing hard to get? I like that...
 
here ur.

Sassygirl: ur cute.

Sassygirl: here is mine.

TORGUY71:
 
WOWOWOWOW!!!!
 
You are SOOOOO
HOOOTTT.

Sassygirl: LOL

TORGUY71:
 
having any luck here on lava? u must be CRAZY busy?

Sassygirl: im still a bit of a virgin with
all this.

TORGUY71:
 
mmmmmm..
 
me like…..

TORGUY71:
 
u looking for online

TORGUY71:
 
you want to meet?

TORGUY71:
 
???

Sassygirl: not sure

TORGUY71:
 
your profile says ur looking for adventure.

Sassygirl: yes

TORGUY71:
 
and you like sex talk? oral sex?

Sassygirl: yes……

TORGUY71:
 
do you like giving?

Sassygirl: yes

TORGUY71:
 
mmmmmmMMMMMM……have you met anyone yet?

Sassygirl: no, have u?

TORGUY71:
 
a few.

Sassygirl: and?

TORGUY71:
 
they were nice.
 
no love matches
though.

TORGUY71:
 
so sexy.. what are u looking for?

Sassygirl: fun. chemistry.

TORGUY71:
 
mmm….me too!!!
 

Sassygirl: sounds like a good match.

TORGUY71:
 
i think we should meet.

Sassygirl: u think?

TORGUY71:
 
ooooh YES.
 
i want to meet ya bad…

Sassygirl: when did u have in mind?

TORGUY71:
 
i am free tonight.

Sassygirl: tonight?
 
that’s a bit soon

TORGUY71:
 
if ur not comfortable, i can wait.

Sassygirl: ok….

TORGUY71:
 
we could just meet for coffee………to check our chemistry?!?

Sassygirl: coffee would be good.
 

TORGUY71:
 
tonight?

TORGUY71:
 
be adventurous….
 
;)

TORGUY71:
 
???

TORGUY71:
 
hello??
   
u there?

Sassygirl: OK.
 

TORGUY71:
 
OK what?

Sassygirl: OK.. coffee.. tonight.

TORGUY71:
 
what time?

Sassygirl: 9:00.

TORGUY71:
 
where?

Sassygirl: your place?

TORGUY71:
 
WOOWOWOW.. OK.
 
u r adventurous!!
:P

Sassygirl: OK?
 
where do you live?

TORGUY71:
 
275 Avenue Road.
 

Sassygirl; is that an apt?

TORGUY71:
 
yes.

Sassygirl: do you live alone?

TORGUY71:
 
yes

Sassygirl: what apt?

TORGUY71:
 
2705

Sassygirl: OK.

TORGUY71:
 
what is your name, sexy?

Sassygirl: susan, urs?

TORGUY71:
 
David.
 
nice to meet you.

Sassygirl: you too.
 

TORGUY71:
 
so sexy susie, what are you into?

Sassygirl: huh?

TORGUY71:
 
do you like giving blow jobs?

Sassygirl: i do…..

TORGUY71:
 
what would you do first?

Sassygirl: i thought we were meeting for
coffee?

TORGUY71:
 
mmmmm, OK. :P

Sassygirl: talk to you then.

TORGUY71:
 
wait - fon number?

Sassygirl: ???

TORGUY71:
 
phone number?

Sassygirl: 4169653382

TORGUY71:
 
ok. sexy susie. look forward to you :)))))

Sassygirl: see you at 9.

“What am I doing?” Alex’s hands were shaking. Her face was
burning hot. Should she log back on and cancel the date?
 
Just not go? Stand the guy up?
 
Who would know?
 
Who would care?
 
“No, this is experience,” she steeled
herself, “I need to do this!”
  

“Cause I may be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it” she
cranked the volume, trying to channel Rihanna’s boldness by swinging her hips
as she walked over to her closet.
 
Alex
sifted through her clothes trying to decide what to wear.
 
It had to be right: something sexy, but not
slutty, something mature, professional, but provocative.
  
And something she could wear her with her
kickass stiletto boots.

She pulled out her short black dress, but it needed to be
ironed.
 
What about her new H&M
sequined skirt and oversized t-shirt that fell off the shoulder?
 
No, that seemed like she was trying too
hard.
 
Plus it was still too tight around
the waist, it gave her a bulge around her gut.
 
She finally decided on a button down silk shirt, tight jeans and a big
gold belt.
 
She threw the clothes down on
the bed and went into the bathroom to shower, shave, shampoo, condition,
exfoliate, moisturize, deodorize, blow dry her hair, straighten her hair, and
put on her makeup.

Finally, an hour later, Alex emerged from the bathroom,
slipped into her clothes and sprayed her favorite RUSH perfume on her wrists
and in her hair. “Damn,” she whistled at her reflection she turned around in
front of the full length mirror, “I should straighten my hair more often.’
 
She zipped up her boots, grabbed her purse
and slammed the apartment door behind her.
 

Revving the engine, Alex put her beloved black mustang into
drive and gunned down the street.
 
She
made her way along Davenport, hitting all the green lights and then sped up
along Avenue Rd.
 
Just past St. Clair,
she turned on her right blinker and slowed down to turn into TORGUY71’s
apartment building.
 
At the last minute
she flicked off her blinker and drove past the apartment building.
 
“Ok, ok,” she said to herself, “that’s where
I have to go.
 
No sense in being
early.
 
I’ll be fashionably late.
 
Just go around the block again.”
 

“Ahhh!” Alex screamed and banged on the steering wheel as
she drove past the apartment again.
 
Why
couldn’t she just pull in?
 
Her hands
were shaking as she stopped at a red light.
 
She pulled down the mirror to check her makeup.
 
“Come on Alex,” she tried to convince
herself, “you can do this.
 
You have to
do this.”
 

“Ok, this is the deal,” Alex said as she drove around the
corner for the third time.
 
“This is it.
   
This time we pull in.
 
And then we can decide what to do next.
 
No pressure.”
 
She took a deep breath in and slowly turned into the apartment’s parking
lot.
 
She pulled into an empty visitor
parking spot and turned off the engine.

“Hello?” Alex answered her cell phone, hoping that UNKNOWN
caller was some kind of emergency - something to give her an excuse to get out
of this coffee date.

“Hello. It’s David.”
 

“Oh, hello,” Alex’s hair sank.
 
It was TORGUY71. There was no turning back
now.
 

“I just saw a car pull into the parking lot.
 
It that you?”

“Um, maybe,” Alex looked around the parking lot and then up
through her sun roof.
 
A man talking on a
cell phone was leaning over the balcony a few floors up. “Oh, yes, I see you.”

“Are you going to come up?”

“Well,” laughed Alex, “I guess I am here now.”

“I think you should. I am on the 7th floor.”

“Ok,” Alex turned off the engine and grabbed he bag.
 
Still holding the phone, she climbed out of
her car and slammed the door.

“Oh, you are gorgeous!
 
Hurry up and get up here. Go through the glass doors and take the first
elevator.
 
I will meet you there.”

“Ok, see you soon.” Alex dropped her phone into her purse,
all too aware of David’s eyes following her as she walked across the parking
lot.

When the doors slid open on floor 7, David was waiting for
her.
 
He smiled nervously and reached for
her hand.
 
He’s more nervous than I am,
Alex realized.
 
And, he totally lied on
his profile. He is not tall at all.
 
He’s
got to be at least 35, not 30. He has serious thinning hair.
 
And, I think he might skinnier than me!
  
But, Alex had to admit, he was kind of cute.
Well, he might have been cute, when he was younger.
 
At least he was well dressed.

“No,” Alex stepped back at the door to number 2705, “Your
apartment, you go first.”
 
David shrugged
and led Alex into the living room. Alex surveyed the 2 plastic mismatched
chairs, a few crates of books stacked up with a TV on top and an old orange
couch pushed against the wall. “How long have you lived here?”

“Only a few months, I just started teaching at the
University and had to find an apartment fast.
 
So here I am.”

“You don’t have a family?”

“Um, I did. I do.”
 
David dug his hands in his pockets and looked down at his shoes.
 
Alex wondered if she had said something wrong.
 
“I’m in the middle of a divorce,” David
finally said, “my daughter lives with her mother.
 
That’s why my apartment is a mess.
 
I’m kinda in transition.
 
You know?
 
I’m not really sure where I’m going.
 
But,” he smiled at Alex, “I have my job and I can visit my daughter on
the weekends.”
   

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Suddenly, David, TORGUY71, this random
click began to come to life.
 
He wasn’t
just some anonymous stranger that Alex could use to practice her daring and
prowess, but a lonely man, a cast off husband standing in the middle of a
depressingly sparse room.
 
It seemed so
sad, so desperate, almost pathetic.
 
Alex
realized, life could be a lot worse.
 

“So,” Alex tried to lighten the conversation, “have you
ever met anyone online before?”
 

“No, I was surprised you actually wanted to meet.”
 

“Really? I thought everyone was doing it.”

“Everyone talks about it, but no one ever actually shows
up. Have you done this before?”

“No.”

“Well, what do you think?”
 

“I’m not sure. It’s odd, kinda awkward, actually.”

“No, I mean, what do you think about me?”

“Oh, well, um, you look like your profile,” Alex lied, “and
you seem very nice.”
 

“Really? Thanks!
 
Can
I kiss you?”
 

Alex laughed and took a step back. “No, I’m not that
comfortable yet.”
 

“Oh, ok, how about we sit down?”
 
David led Alex over to couch. She perched on
the edge, with her hands folded in her lap and tried to think of something to
say. She could feel David staring at her, wanting her to turn towards him.
 
It made her feel awkward, so she pretended to
be intrigued with the few stars actually visible from the open patio
window.
 
“You’re very pretty,” David slid
closer, “like your profile, but better.”