Panic (22 page)

“So you never went to Vegas? Do you know if he had a security box there?”

I nod my head, because he is freaking me the fuck out and I need to give up something. “But I don’t know anything else about it. Not where it is or how to get into it, nothing.”

“Well, they checked the box, Rook. And it’s empty.” He sorta laughs here, but it’s one of those I’m-about-to-go-insane laughs and my heart rate jacks up about a thousand notches. “So that means someone has the stuff.” He shakes his head. It’s a jerky motion that definitely tells me he’s about to lose it and then he turns, his head down a little so his eyes are peeking up at me though a curtain of wet hair and dark lashes. He whispers, “Do you have the stuff?”

I swallow down the fear and say calmly, “I have no stuff, Wade. I don’t have anything of Jon’s.”

“Rook, listen to me, OK? You and those guys you’re with are the only ones who’ve had access to Jon, OK? So one of you has the shit they’re looking for. And let me just tell you, these people are not fucking around, OK?”

Each time he says ‘OK,’ the pitch of his voice raises, making him sound even more crazy, and my whole body begins to tremble, because I might not get out of this. Wade is not acting right.

“If you have it, Rook, you gotta tell me. Because they’ve got my mom, Rook. They’ve got my mom locked up on some fake-ass charges and they’ll send her to prison if I don’t figure out where this shit is. Do you understand?”

This snaps me back from the edge of fear and puts me on the offense immediately. “Am I supposed to give a shit about your
mother
?” I laugh. “Really? Let them lock her up! After what she did to me!”

“I’m sorry about that. I tried to stop her, you know that. I tried to stop her from sending you back to the State. She just wouldn’t listen and she threatened to cut me off. I needed her help to race.”

“You were a grown-ass man, Wade. You were eighteen years old. You could’ve helped me if you cared one shit about what was happening.”

“Yeah, and you were underage, Rook. It’s called statutory rape, sexual predator-type stuff—it was a huge risk.”

He’s serious. This asshole thinks that saving me from living on the streets, from those crack-houses the fucking foster care people sent me to…
saving
me was a
risk
? “You’re pathetic. You have no idea what it means to take a risk for someone you love. To put it all on the line for them. None. You’re nothing but one pathetic, selfish, fucking asshole.”

“What was I supposed to do, go to jail for you? That would’ve helped how? How would throwing my life away help you?”

“Oh, you poor, poor baby. And for your information, Jon was twenty-one when he found me. And he sure the fuck found a way to keep me.”

“Yeah, and look what that sick fuck was doing!”

“And you know who I blame for all those years, Wade? Just take one educated guess.” I stop to glare at him, the full depth of my hatred for everyone who ever met me as a child coming out, seeping through my pores like some hot sticky mess left over from all that sex I had with Jon as a teenager. All that filthy fucking sex that was not anything close to love. That entire relationship made me feel dirty, and unwanted, and useless, and… and… and
insignificant
.

“You, that’s who,” I say in a whisper. “I blame you for all the terrible, horrific things that happened to me back in that house. All of it. It’s one hundred percent
your
fault. Because I was just a girl, you were a man. I asked you for help. You said you loved me, for fuck’s sake. And then you just walked out. You are nothing but a selfish fucking piece-of-shit coward! You left me to live on the streets, to be picked up by that predator, to be held under his thumb for years.”

“That wasn’t me, Rook. I had nothing to do with that. That wasn’t—”

“You are the darkness, Wade. You are nothing but my dark, disgusting past trying to suck me back in to a life of shame.”

“I just want to say I’m sorry, Rook. And please, just listen to me about this FBI stuff, OK? I need you to—”

“Get out!”

My scream is echoing though my head when someone knocks on my window and scares the fuck out of me. I take a deep breath and realize it’s Vic Vaughn. I roll it down and look up at him.

“Everything OK in here, Blackbird?”

I shake my head. “No, he’s bothering me. I want him to leave.”

Vic reaches into the truck and presses the unlock button. The other three Vaughn brothers appear, open the passenger side door and pull Wade out.

“Rook, listen to what I said, OK? Read those papers. They took my mom and they’ll take someone from you too. They will, Rook, you’ll see!”

Vic and I watch as the Vaughn brothers drag Wade across the street and throw him on the ground in front of a candle shop that’s closed for the night. “You want some help, Rook? Want me to drive you home? My brothers can follow us, make sure everything’s cool.”

My first instinct is to say, ‘no, thank you.’ But I stop the words and nod up at Vic. “I would really appreciate that, thank you.”

“Scoot over, Gidget,” he says with a smile as he pushes me into the passenger seat. “And I swear, you’d think one odd name was enough, but woman, you seem to have a collection of them. Hey, Vinn!” he calls out the window. “I’m driving Rook over to Spencer’s, you guys follow to keep an eye out for any more psychos.” And then he gets in the truck and I breathe out a huge sigh of relief.

Until I pick up the papers and see exactly what they say. I scan the stack quickly. All bad stuff. All the same stuff Gage was trying to tell me.

All stuff that can’t be true.

But maybe it is?

And then the fear comes back and it takes all my willpower not to collapse right there in the front seat.

Chapter Thirty-Two - ROOK

I stuff the papers into my backpack and listen as Vic calls Spencer, telling him we’re on our way. He gives a few curt responses to whatever Spencer’s saying, then holds the phone out towards me.

I turn my head and stare out the window, ignoring the phone, and Vic tells Spencer we’ll see him in thirty minutes. I have no idea what to think right now. I just need time to process all this information, make sense of it. Vic talks to me constantly as we drive down the dark and deserted road. I hate this road at night. It’s curvy and when it’s wet, like it is now, you can’t see the lines painted on the road. One side is the damn river and the other side is just forest. It creeps me the fuck out.

I catch Vic eyeballing the rear-view the entire way there, but the only other headlights behind us are his brothers. When we pull into the driveway Spencer and Ford are already outside waiting in the carport to stay out of the rain. Ford opens my door and pulls me out as Spencer talks to Vic.

“What happened?” Ford asks.

I’m not sure I should reveal all the FBI stuff, so I just say, “Wade.”

“Oh.” That’s all Ford says.

“Did you know who he is?”

“I know, Rook. I saw him hanging around up in Sturgis and Spencer filled me in on the missing pieces. Did you talk to him?”

I nod. “Yes, but I never want to talk to him again.
Ever
.” I push Ford away and go inside, wanting very badly to hide away in my room, but there’s no chance of that until I talk to them, so I just grab a beer from the fridge and sit on the couch. They come in a few minutes later and I catch the crunch of gravel as the Vaughn brothers leave. They must think I’m crazy. And they probably told Spencer I was just at their shop asking questions about him and Ford.

Great.

Ford sits down next to me and Spencer flips off the TV, taking the chair across from the couch. “So what’s up, Rook? You got something to tell us?”

I shake my head. “Nope, nothing. Wade showed up, I sorta lost it, end of story. I don’t want to see him again.” I stop to look up at Spencer. “Ever. I’m going to call the police if he comes near me again.”

“I thought this guy was your old flame or something?” Spencer asks in a low voice. “You sorta sounded like you’d like to see him again when we talked about it.”

“I was just depressed that day, reliving the past. Thinking about the good things when the only ones that count are the bad. I’m over it. I want the past to go away and stop fucking up my new life.”

“Rook, I’m not sure you’re telling us the whole story. Let’s start from the beginning, OK?”

“Fuck the beginning, Ford. The beginning starts with my life back in Illinois, and I’m not reliving that shit with you, no matter what. I’m done talking about it, I’m done thinking about it, I’m done answering questions, I’m done with secrets, and fucking Jon, and everything else.” I stand up. “I’m done.” I step over Ford’s legs to get past when Spencer’s phone rings.

“Antoine. Hmmm, wonder what the fuck this is about? Yeah,” Spence barks into the phone.

I stop in the middle of the living room and listen to the frantic French that is almost fully audible even though the phone’s not on speaker, that’s how loud Antoine is talking. “What? What is it?” Spencer ignores me, just listens and shakes his head. When I look down at Ford he’s wincing. “What happened?”

Spence ends the call and looks over at me. “Ronin just got arrested. They’re booking him into Denver County right now on felony obstruction charges.”

I collapse back into another chair near the hallway. “Why?” But as soon as the word leaves my mouth I know why. Wade. And that FBI shit. And Gage. They did just what Wade said. They took someone I love. I lean over and prop my head in my hands and then Ford and Spencer each have me by an arm and they’re dragging me outside. “What the fuck?”

Ford leans down into my ear and says, “Shut it, Rook. Just shut up for once and do as you’re told.” He jerks on my arm a little to make his point and I’m powerless to fight.

Spencer leads us across the backyard and towards the woods and then I really start to freak out. “Why are we going in the woods?” I struggle but they hold tighter, say nothing, and by the time we make the tree line they’re dragging me through the mud. I start kicking and screaming, but Ford’s hand clamps over my mouth and I have to use all my energy just to breathe. They drag me down towards the river and I swear, I am so fucking stupid for trusting these guys. They’re gonna kill me and throw my body in the river.

“Rook,” Spencer says this time. “Just calm the fuck down. We need to get away from the house to have this conversation, OK? Just relax.” We stop next to the river and he pushes me to sit on a rock.

“Are you gonna be quiet and listen?” Ford asks in his most businesslike voice. “Because I’m not in the mood to baby you tonight, got it? We need to talk.”

I nod, but my body is trembling badly, the adrenaline still rushing through my bloodstream. Ford removes his hand. “I’ve tried to tell you this several times but…” He stops and runs his fingers through his hair and looks away. “But you never wanted to hear it, so I let it go. But you need to know now, because this shit with Ronin is big time, got it? We’re playing in the majors right now, Rook. This is real fucking shit, serious shit, and you have to follow the rules now because you’re on the team. Do you understand this?”

I look over at Spencer. “The team?”

Spence nods. “It’s got a lot of perks, Blackbird. But it’s got a lot of rules too. So you need to know the rules. Because it’s gonna get ugly and the only way we all stay out of jail is by following the rules.”

Ford kneels down next to me and Spencer sits on the rock, squishing his body into mine. “First of all, you know what I do on the team, right?”

“Computer stuff,” I say in a small voice.

“Yes. And Spencer here is our logistics guy, OK? But he’s also the muscle. So if we need someone roughed up, that’s Spencer’s job.”

I look up at Spence and he shrugs. “Can’t help it, Blackbird. I’m the biggest guy here, I got the job by default.”

“Did you guys murder that businessman, like all the papers say?”

“Rook.” Ford pulls my attention back to him before Spencer can answer. “Look, we don’t go looking for trouble and we’re not violent. You shot Jon, not us. We had no intention of physically hurting him. But as you saw firsthand, things don’t always go as planned. Veronica showed up and as good as that was for you, it almost got her killed, right? Even though we never intended for her to be involved, let alone get hurt, or God fucking forbid, killed. Sometimes shit happens and the plans just disintegrate.”

“Did you guys murder that businessman?” I ask again.

“Well,” Spencer says. “Look, it wasn’t meant to happen. It was not meant for him to die, all right? I did what I had to do to prevent him from involving another innocent party.”

“I need to hear this whole story. Like now. I never signed up for this, Ford. I never wanted to be a part of this shit.”

Ford opens his mouth to speak, but Spencer’s words are the ones that come out.

“I killed him, Rook. We were stealing his money, money he used to fund too many dirty things to even list off the top of my head. Shit like drugs, embezzlement from non-profits, porn. Just filthy shit. And we needed to get inside the house for some codes and it just all went down wrong.”

“How did you find that out? The bad stuff he was doing?”

“His daughter told us,” Ford says. “Told Ronin, actually. She never knew we were involved until after and the papers got a hold of the story. But this isn’t what you need to know. We’re telling you about that because you’re already in and we need you to trust us, to cooperate, and to understand what it means that Ronin is in jail.”

I have a very bad feeling about this.

“You see, what I do has risk. I hack into very secure databases and networks. Some of them very high-level. I’m risking a lot of prison time, possibly even a treason charge when I do some of this. Do you understand?”

“OK.”

“And Spencer’s job has risk. He killed that man. He’s guilty as fuck, Rook. He’s got a murder charge all over him. Do you understand this? Spencer’s job has risk.”

I nod but I’m not liking how often he’s repeating the word
risk
one bit.