Pandora's Box (49 page)

My family.

The reclining chairs were empty, as were the chairs around the table. He had looked all over the house and when he didn’t find her on the shadowed terrace, he almost despaired. The soft movement of the curtains around the Indonesian bed reminded him of her new favorite reading place.

He threw his coat, tie and jacket on the armchair, and rolling up his sleeves, he crossed the terrace quietly.

The sight of Sophia sleeping just made him forget what he had planned to say in those last minutes since he started looking for her.

“So beautiful,” he whispered.

He assessed her in the soft light that dangled from the center of the bed.

Her face was still wet with tears, which he wished were for joy, but he was aware were caused by the pain he had inflicted.

All at once, he felt an acrid contempt against himself clog his throat.
You’re an ass, Alistair Connor. An ass.

Sophia opened her eyes, startled, the minute Alistair’s hands touched her.

He froze, unsure.

She pushed his hands aside and shifted away from him, pushing herself deeper into the cushions. “Good evening, Alistair Connor.”
Oh, you think it’s that easy?

He would have gotten nearer, but her quiet hurt look held him back.

This is going to be harder than you expected.
He’d never heard her use that icy tone before. Alistair looked down into her pained and accusing eyes and reminded himself that however hurtful her remarks could be, he was the one in the wrong. He sat on the edge of the bed. “Sophia.”
Please, forgive me.

A long silence ensued between them as he thought of what he should say; how he should start apologizing.

He looked away from her gaze as Sophia’s eyes sought his and delved in. What she read there he couldn’t tell. Despite it all, he was conscious that behind all the torment, he admired her for standing her ground; something he’d never thought he could feel for a woman.

Nonetheless, it wasn’t the admiration she saw, but the tortured emotions which brewed in the depths of his eyes. “So, you came back.”
For what?

You’re my haven, my heaven.
“Aye. This is our home.”
Isn’t it?

And what do you mean by that?
“Tread carefully, Alistair Connor, very carefully.”
You don’t want to say the wrong thing.

Sophia was no doubt still reeling from the discovery that she was in the early stages of pregnancy and trying to come to terms with that information.

As was he. To add to his shock, he, who was sure he was sterile, was the father.

Your feelings were not the ones hurt. Get over the shock and set this straight.
He steeled himself for what could happen.
She has the right to say whatever she wants.
“I’ve come back to ask for your forgiveness. I’m sorry, Sophia. So very sorry.” He searched her eyes. “I should have—”

“Ah. Yes. You should have. But you didn’t.” Sophia straightened, her chin lifting fractionally.

The moment stretched, charged thickly with unspoken doubts and arguments. She was challenging him and she would not back down.

She knew it.

He knew it.

“Could you try to put yourself in my shoes?” he asked, as fear and misery clawed at his soul.
I’m going to lose her if I don’t do something to make this right.

She pressed the heels of her hands against her stinging eyes. She didn’t want to cry in front of him. “I’ve tried. Have you ever stopped to put yourself in
my
shoes?”

Nae. I’m sorry for it.
“I love you, Sophia,” he breathed. “I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose.”

“Don’t you get it, Alistair Connor?” she whispered. “You did hurt me. In the worst possible way. I’m pregnant and the child is yours.”

I’m pregnant and the child is yours.
Her statement was exactly what he’d unconsciously wanted to hear since the day she walked into his life, but never in a thousand years did he expect her to say it in this bitter tone as if she didn’t want the baby. Things were escalating out of control.

“How could you have thought it otherwise?” The heartache was so fierce that Sophia’s tears couldn’t be held in check anymore. “How, Alistair Connor, how? It makes me not know what to believe in anymore.”

“Believe in me. Believe in us,” his voice was throaty. He couldn’t stand being frozen in place anymore. He scooted closer, cornering her.

She pulled her legs against her chest as if protecting the baby and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands. “I can’t.”

His eyes caught hers. His stare rooted her. But he was the one imprisoned by her eyes, when she gazed back at him.

“To believe, Alistair Connor, trust is needed. When you walked out of the hospital room, you took away with you the very trust that love is built on. What about the so many promises you have done to me since we married?”

“I will renew them. However many times needed.” He gently framed her wet face. “Believe in this new life we have magically created, because I believe in you.”

She forced her gaze to remain on his face. Just his light touch made her want to yield to his plea. “What were you thinking?”
Don’t tell me.

“I wasn’t thinking at all,” he answered truthfully, his thumbs drying her tears. “If I had been thinking, just a bit, I would have done the same thing I did with the photos sent to my mobile; when you told me you had been to Ethan’s suite to talk to him. If I had been thinking at all, Sophia, I would have tried to reason it all with you. What I am trying to do now.”
I was held in between times, in a world of tears and pain where I usually drowned.
“It’s difficult, Sophia, to believe in hope when hope sometimes is all you have. But I did. I asked to be tested because I believed in you and I wanted to believe in
me
. In spite of all my demons, my hope survived.”

That made her tears stop. She blinked at him.
He can’t make his way all alone. We have to go home hand-in-hand. Each one feeling and empathizing with what the other has.

Alistair saw her hesitate and he picked her up, nestling her on his chest. He put his hand on her stomach and closed his eyes, wistfully wanting to feel the baby, but knowing it was much too soon.

She struggled for a moment, but quieted when he loosened his hold on her. She faced him with unwavering resolution, but inside the circle of his arms. “We won’t solve it all with sex and empty promises, Alistair Connor. This has become quite serious.”

“It has always been serious, Sophia. I have
never
given you reason to think otherwise, have I?”

Sophia noted his emphasis.
Well…
“No. No, you haven’t. But neither have I.”

“Listen, you’re a hundred percent right and I understand you’re hurting and angry with me. I should have stayed there, holding you in my arms, comforting you, sharing the happy news with you, instead of making you sad and aching.” A deep sigh came out from his chest unhindered as he searched to explain his explosive, uncivilized behavior. “Sometimes, Sophia, my emotions get out of control. With you, they are even more volatile. I was so taken aback, I
re-acted.
”

“When you
re-act
next time? Who will you hurt? Gabriela? This baby?”

Christ.
He flinched and his eyes darkened with pain. “I’d never—”

She instantly repented, putting a finger on his lips. “I’m sorry. That was unnecessary.”

“Then forgive me,” he whispered, “and give me a chance to show you that I am worthy of your trust.”
Please, Sophia.
“I’ve been trying, doing my best. You, sweetheart, know how much I’ve changed since I met you, but you can’t ask me to be another whole man without a past or to change my inner nature.”

A tiger will never behave like a deer, Sophia. A hurt tiger will always be even more skittery.
The emotions that crossed her face told him very clearly that she didn’t want him to be another man; she just wanted him to be more trustful of her.

Ah!
Alistair narrowed his eyes, hoping they hadn’t shown that he knew her defenses were falling apart.
Now, she just needs time to realize it too.
“You are an exceedingly stubborn woman.”

Oh?! I am the stubborn one?!
Haughtily, Sophia raised an eyebrow. “You knew that before we married, Husband.”

He nodded curtly to avoid closing his eyes to enjoy the richness of the word as it washed over him. “Aye,
Wife
. That trait is an integral part of the package.”
Fortunately.

“You accepted me, for better or worse.” Sophia tilted her chin, quite unsure of his change of mood. He was looking at her in a strange way through those long black lashes of his.
What have I lost in these last seconds?

“You did the same.” Alistair’s forest-green eyes flashed open and she saw so much love inside that her heart beat stronger.

Would it be so hard to forgive him?
After what seemed to Alistair a long moment, Sophia sighed. “Yes, seems I did it, didn’t I?”

“I’m so sorry, Sophia. I love you so.” His eyes filled with tears. He vowed, “I promise you I’ll never mistrust you again.”

Leaning her head on his strong shoulder, she whispered, “It’s going to be a boy. He was conceived on your birthday.”

“You can’t know yet. It could be a girl.”
Anything you want, my love. Anything.

“I’m pregnant. Don’t contradict me.” 

“Never.” He kissed her forehead and tightened his arms around her. “You’re going to be very spoiled, so get used to it.”

Alistair’s dreams were all coming true and he couldn’t remember ever feeling happier.

London. In a dimly lit room.

8.49 p.m.

On Ghost’s computer screen, the 3D floor plan of Sophia’s house rotated slowly. He didn’t have access to her wi-fi or security system anymore, but he still had access to her telephone lines.

The problem was that her house cameras and security devices were not accessible through them.

He turned the floor plan on the screen again, scrutinizing it. He had to find a way to get into that house, and soon.

To kidnap her in the middle of London as the Brazilian criminal had proposed was not a good idea. Not with all her bodyguards and CCTV cameras.

He scanned his notes. Many ideas came to his mind, but he discarded them one after the other. Now that her routine was hectic, things were turning out to be more and more difficult to predict.

To make things worse, his team was getting out of hand, especially the ones that were under the control of Uó. 

He had never in his whole life seen such barbaric men and women as the ones that answered to the thin man.

For once, Ghost didn’t know if he would be able to fulfill his expectations.

He didn’t like to make impetuous decisions. His decisions were always planned and weighed. But this time they would have to be done hastily.

He picked up his paper-weight, looking at the snakes hissing at him as if scoffing at his intelligence. In a fit of rage, he threw it against the wall, where it bounced and fell to the carpet.

The clock was ticking.

For whom, he didn’t quite know anymore.

Chapter 29

Craigdale Caisteal.

Monday, March 14
^th
, 2011.

7.01 a.m.

Sophia woke and breathed slowly as if testing what would happen. The nausea and dizziness had considerably improved with Zofran, but hadn’t left her completely. She still hadn’t worked out the nausea pattern yet, as she had not been sick in her first pregnancy.

Alistair lay tangled with her, his dark head propped heavily on her shoulder. She wished she could lay there with him all morning.

They had worked out all their doubts and he had apologized so many times, he earned her complete forgiveness.

She ran her fingers through his ink-black, bed-tousled hair, combing it. “Alistair Connor, wake up, we have to go back.”

He clutched her tightly. “I don’t want it to be morning.”

She smiled. “I don’t think even the Marquis of I-give-the-orders-Amen can make the sun go back to sleep.”

“He can try.” He pulled the coverlet over them both. They couldn’t even see each other under the heavy blanket. 

She giggled and squeaked when she realized he had moved down. Spreading quick kisses over her belly, saying endearing things to her and the baby, Alistair made everything right. Sophia ceased worrying about what time it was or what would happen later that day.

On Craigdale Airstrip,

By Alistair MacCraig’s G650.

8.57 a.m.

“I must have you here every weekend. I want to accompany this pregnancy step by step, as if I were your father.”

“Oh, Lachlann! You’ll have me all weepy.” Sophia blinked at the tears in her eyes. “I’ve been crying over the littlest things these days.”

Lachlann chuckled and embraced his daughter-in-law. “I’m not easily scared by women’s tears. Katherine found herself overly emotional, especially with Alistair Connor. As her time drew near, she practically melted in tears.”

“Did she get really fat?” Gabriela asked, following the conversation, holding Sophia’s hand.

I surrender.
“All right!” Sophia exclaimed. She dropped to her haunches to look into her daughter’s beautiful blue eyes. “I’ll get really fat, but only for the baby, deal?”

An absolutely happy smile opened on Gabriela’s face. To everyone’s surprise, she stretched out her little, pink gloved hand to shake Sophia’s, as she had seen the adults do. “Deal, Mama.”

Atwood House.

Friday, March 18
^th
, 2011.

4.49 p.m.