Pandora Gets Greedy (19 page)

“Good girl,” Juno said, giving Hera another hard slap across her broad shoulders. “Get it all up.”

“I'm … I'm all right … all right. ALL RIGHT!” Hera choked out, finally catching Juno's hand before she could pound again. “Zeus's armpits! You have quite the arm there, my sister. You could be a discus thrower. I'm fine, thank you.”

“Good,” Juno said, leaning back against the wall. “Well,
that
was an adventure I don't want to repeat!”

“We won't have to,” Hera said, her breath finally evening out. “When all this is over; when Lucius Valerius becomes ruler and your temples outnumber those of the other gods ten to one in Rome and mine populate every meter of Greece, you can move to Olympus with me. I'll have everyone else chained up in Tartarus by then, and we can have the run of the place. And no sewers!”

“Sounds delightful,” Juno said, then she took out the new carved coin from the folds of her robes. “And now that you mention Valerius, let us make good use of his likeness. You know, I have to hand it to that artist,
Varius: he did this right on the gold. No wood carving, no mold; right on the coin itself.”

“We didn't give him a choice,” Hera replied. “And we made the metal pliable enough.”

“But still,” Juno said. “I'm feeling slightly generous all of a sudden. I'm going to do something for him.”

“We let him live!” Hera cried.

“Oh, we can afford to be beneficent!” Juno countered, conjuring the image of Varius in the air. Then she snapped her fingers.

At that moment, just as he was trying to figure out how to feed himself a slice of bread through his nose, Varius's mouth reappeared on his face.

“You're a gracious goddess, Sister,” said Hera.

“You know it,” Juno smiled, then she snapped her fingers again and suddenly the one coin became thousands and Juno and Hera found themselves surrounded by mounds of glittering gold.

“Allow me,” said Hera, flicking her wrists. Instantly, the gold was stuffed into dozens of cloth sacks, which promptly disappeared.

“You made the switch?” Juno asked.

“You have to ask?” Hera said.

“Apologies.”

“Tonight, when Caesar distributes the gold to his senators, they will all hold up coins with the face of the
most spineless, sappiest, most weak-gutted, greediest senator of all. And by Caesar's own decree, Valerius will have to be crowned ruler. Naturally, Caesar will revolt and be executed for treason;
then
our plans will really move forward. It's only a matter of time now.”

“So,” Hera said, getting to her big feet. “What are you going to wear?”

“I'm thinking red.”

“The color of blood!”

“Precisely,” said Juno.

“I'll join you. But I'm throwing in a little black—for the pit those two slaves will be buried in.”

“Always so
creative
.”

“I try.”

“Give me something …
anything
,” Varinia said softly. As angry as she was, she was also growing weary and couldn't bring herself to yell. “Anything to placate my husband.”

Pandy and Alcie stood silent, each one wondering if the other was going to speak, then realizing neither had anything to say. Varinia sighed—her fortieth or so since her questioning began.

“In the years that you two have been with the household,” she said, which of course immediately confused Pandy and Alcie until they remembered Hermes' enchantment, “I have come to think of you both as much more than simple servants. You two have become like daughters to me. Inasmuch as I do not have a daughter I would wish …”

Varinia paused and cleared her throat.

“… on anyone, you two have always been a source of secret pride to me.”

Pandy looked at this woman whom she had only known for several weeks, speaking about her in ways that should have thrilled her, and would have, if the woman had actually been her mother. Sibylline had never been proud of her daughter, at least not so that Pandy had noticed.

“But now,” Varinia went on. “Now that you have tried to escape …”

“We didn't!” Pandy started.

“Hush!” Varinia said, holding up her hands for silence. “It doesn't matter, don't you see? You broke the rules and were caught. But if you can tell me anything that might mitigate your punishment, I may be able to save your lives. Normally, Lucius can't bear the sight of Rufina, but now she has his ear and tomorrow, after you have served at the feast tonight, you will be killed. Not simply punished as runaways usually are, but executed as a warning to all others. Tell me something I don't know. Were you all out together or were you two looking for Iole and Crispus?”

Pandy and Alcie looked at each other.

“You know you cannot save her,” Varinia said gently. “But you can save yourselves. Were you looking for her?”

“No,” Pandy said. “We were all together, but Crispus and Iole hardly even spoke to each other.”

“Do you have any witnesses to that? Anything that would counter the testimony of the guards who say they found them on the street holding hands? Anyone who saw you?”

“Cloacina,” Alcie said.

Varinia stared at Alcie in astonishment.

“Do you mock me?”

“No, mistress, no!” Pandy countered quickly. “She means that we just got so lost in the sewers trying to get back here before dawn. We were down there so long that if anyone could have seen us, it could only have been the goddess of the sewers. That's all.”

“That's all.”

“Then that's a pity,” Varinia said. “I wish you
could
produce Cloacina, Alcestis. I do. I would welcome the stench if her words would clear you two of any wrongdoing. Now go and prepare for our guests. Try not to think too heavily upon tomorrow; I shall still speak to my husband, for all the good it will do. Go.”

The walk back to their tiny room was more of a dodge, bob, and weave around the many carved wood, gold, and ivory cages that were propped up along
every corridor on the upper floor. Cooing, squawking, growling, and howling filled the higher reaches of the house while the main room was undergoing final
final
preparations.

Pandy threw aside the flimsy privacy curtain as Alcie brushed by her and headed for the window.

“Can't you do something?” she asked, staring at the sliver of faraway green hills beyond the crush of the city buildings.

“What do you suggest?” Pandy called, having flopped on her cot.

“Burn it,” Alcie said flatly, now gazing at two horse-drawn carts entering the courtyard. “We may not succeed, but we shouldn't let them win. Burn Rome.”

The sharp, shrill calls of various birds rose from the corridor outside.

“Hounds of Hades,” Pandy said, putting her hand to her temples. “There's no thinking about anything with
that
going on.”

“Yeah,” Alcie said, her eyes now focused like a hawk on the carts and their contents. Dido, on his chain in the garden, began to bark wildly in recognition. “Well, if you want your brain to really run out of your ears, c'mere.”

Pandy was up and at the window in a flash.

“Gods, no …”

Below them, the first cart was brought to a stop as
two burly guards went to the back and poked at its passenger with two large poles. Pandy and Alcie heard Iole sob and try to stifle a scream as they herded her from the back of the cart toward the opening. Farther back, from the second cart, two other guards were roughly tossing Crispus to the ground.

“Iole!” Pandy called down.

Iole lifted her head and Pandy and Alcie could see the stains of her tears even at such a distance. She tried to smile and waved just a little. One guard saw her movements and took a whip to her ankles, which caused Pandy to grab at Alcie's arm. Dido pulled on his chain and its stake so hard, he was on the verge of tearing it out of the ground.

“Dido!” Pandy commanded, seeing the imminent danger. “Stay! Stay, boy!”

“Eyes on the ground, Vestal!”

Iole fell to the dirt and clutched at the stinging welts. Then she was pulled to her feet and prodded, along with Crispus, into a low-lying shed attached to the back of the house. She wasn't even permitted a last look over her shoulder.

“Like a criminal,” Pandy mumbled, feeling her own tears well up in her eyes.

“That's what they think she is,” Alcie said. “They weren't gonna bring her in on a bed of orchids.”

“Yeah … yeah. Well, guess what, Alce? I think you had the right idea all along.”

“I did? Which one?”

“We may not get home, we may not find Greed, and we may die in this garbage heap. But if they touch one hair on Iole's head, I personally will turn this place into such a fire pit, it will make Tartarus look like a field of wildflowers after a light rain.”

Alcie looked at her friend and put her arm around Pandy's shoulders, already feeling Pandy's skin give off a slight warmth as she grew intent and agitated. Alcie hugged her tightly, seeing Pandy's determination.

“Good girl. Only this time, think of some way I can get in on the fun.”

“Water!” Lucius screamed at the top of his lungs. “Bring me water!”

“Lucius, lower your voice,” Varinia said, noting the startled looks from her guests. “Why do you not drink wine like the rest of us? Even Caesar is enjoying himself!”

“If I wanted wine I would ask for it. If I wanted to be a sheep like the rest of you, I would look upon that fool as you do. I have called three times now. Where is that Pandora?”

“Probably thinking upon her fate to come when the sun rises,” Varinia answered.

“WATER!”

Pandy raced in from the food-preparation room, trying not to slosh the water in Lucius's special pitcher as she hurriedly picked her way through the revelers.

“Here!” she called out. “Here, Senator.”

She nearly tripped over the long pole tipped with ostrich feathers that Alcie was using to fan a large group seated off to one side. Then she stumbled again on the steps leading up to the dais where Lucius and Varinia sat at individual tables along with Caesar and several other important nobles. Lucius himself saved her from toppling off the dais and into the pit, which had already been partially dug in the middle of the tiled floor.

“I'm sorry, they're mixing all the water with the wine. It was hard to get to the well.”

“I don't want excuses,” Lucius growled. “Pour!”

Pandy filled the senator's cup to the brim and he began to gulp as if he were dying of thirst. But within moments, he spat all the water out, showering several people seated below, including one wearing a thin metal helmet plumed with small feathers. Zeus looked at Ares as the God of War began to rise and confront Lucius.

“Sit down now,” Zeus said softly. “Just shake it off. You are not going to call attention to all of us by killing our host. Sit …
down
.”

Ares fell back into his seat and rolled his yellow eyes as Aphrodite patted his arm, which was considerably smaller than normal as all the gods had shrunk themselves to a more human size in order to blend in. Mars balled up a fist and held it out as a sign of solidarity.
Ares bumped it with his own and began eating his whole pheasant, bones included. All the gods, who were seated at several tables close together, glanced at one another.

“This water is foul!” Lucius yelled at Pandora, causing even Caesar to turn and look. “That is not my pitcher, you dull-witted wretch!”

Lucius reared back to strike Pandy but his arm was stopped by a firm grasp on his wrist.

“Lucius,” Caesar said, standing over him. “Your guests are having a fine time. Why spoil it?”

Pandy seized the moment to speak very fast as she lowered her eyes and looked at the earthenware vessel in her hand—clearly the wrong one.

“I'm sorry, Senator,” she said. “I just put yours down for a second. It's … it's so busy back there. It must have gotten mixed up.”

Lucius yanked his hand out of Caesar's grasp and forced a smile at Caesar and then Pandora as Caesar returned to his seat.

“An easy mistake, slave,” he said through gritted teeth. “Go and find my pitcher and return. Off with you.”

Having seen the entire exchange, Hermes and Mercury shared a quick glance and arched a left brow.

Pandy glanced at Varinia, who had hung her head in shame, then turned to run back to the food-preparation
room, but not before her eyes caught a glint of gold from a table close by. As she forced her feet to move, Pandy instantly recognized Aphrodite's enchanted girdle peeking out from under a plum-colored robe. Then she saw nearly the same girdle on Venus, sitting next to Aphrodite. She realized with a start that all the gods, both Greek and Roman, were sitting in the hall. They were smaller than usual, but there was no mistaking them as they gorged themselves on breads, honey paste, and game birds. Pandy caught Alcie's eye from across the room and tilted her head. Alcie looked where Pandy indicated, which happened to be the tables in front of her and, with a start, dropped her fan directly onto Minerva's head. Athena and Minerva both turned with a scowl at Alcie, who grabbed the fan, then smiled nervously and began fanning very fast.

Why were they here? To help? They knew
almost
everything, Pandy thought to herself, about the past, present, and future. What did they know that she didn't? The question remained unanswered as she slipped into the food-preparation room.

“Come on,” Hermes said to Mercury, as he rose to follow Pandora.

“Right on your winged heels, Brother,” Mercury said, tossing a piece of lamb back onto his platter and getting out of his seat.

Caesar rose from his oversize chair on the dais and, stepping over the pretty, young slave girls who had been placed in adoration at his feet, stood to address the guests. He took in for a moment the thousands of butterflies in the air above his head, the women about the hall playing with the monkeys and tiger cubs, and the black swans picking at the plates of those who had turned to gaze, in awe, at him.