Pam (20 page)

“Justin.” I pleaded with the boy. “I know we never met. I know you only heard things about me. But listen. Please, I beg you. You mother is not what you think.”

The porch door plowed open
;
he seemed to ignore me. “I’ll talk to you later
, Pap
. I’m glad Dr. Andrews told me to come.” He looked at Rich and walked by me.

“Justin!”

He lifted his hands as he walked to the car. “I can’t deal with this.”

I watched him for a moment as he got in his car
.
I
spun to Rich. “All of you are putting him in danger. You’re
acting
li
k
e this is nothing. He’s in danger.”

Rich shook his head. “Not worried. It’s over, Sharon. Or haven’t you heard the news. Surprised you’re still
wandering
the streets.”

“What .
.
. what are you talking about?”

“Marion Blake.
The girl you killed.
”

My eyes
widened
. “I didn’t kill her
.
”

“Really? Because the news just had
a
spot on that they reopened the case, that a piece of the puzzle finally fit
,
and a
mechanic
stepped forward and named you. In fact, they’re blasting your name all over the news. You were in Hartford at the time, he
placed
you at the scene of the crime
,
and the connection … she was pregnant to m
y
son. Once again, you’d do anything to stop someone
else
from ….”

With a scream of ‘No’, I didn’t bother to listen
anymore; I flew from the house and got into my car.

She did this. She set it up.

I knew right where to find her.

The excitement of the day,
the
rush of
adrenaline,
and al
l
that espresso caused me to
immediately
crash the moment I stopped.

I
stepped
from the library
;
the wind blew my papers
,
and after I gathered them, I sat down on the bench and passed out.

I remember the security guard waking me and telling me that the
library
was closing if I wanted to go back in. Then he asked if I was all right. I told him I was fine, and dozed off again.

Silly
,
I know. But had I not, I wouldn’t have gotten the warning.

“Pam!”
H
er voice snapped out my name near my ear.

At
first,
I thought
it was a dream
or
some
mid
-
sleep
thing
where you think you hear a voice.
But I wasn’t dreaming. I opened my eyes to see Sharon standing there.

I stumbled
to
a
stand;
the look in her eyes frightened me
,
and
I
looked around for the security guard. It was
dark;
he’d be making rounds soon. If I screamed he’d hear me. Why
ha
dn’t I just go
ne
home?

“You’re so predictable
,
”
Sharon
told me. “What did you do, Pam? Spend the last
eighteen
years in a crazy ward trying to think of ways to frame me?”

“Frame you? It’s not framing you for a crime you committed.”

“I didn’t do it.
You did and you know it.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m going to call for the guard.”

“Go ahead. They’re all looking for you anyhow. It’s over, Pam. You may want to run, hide,
take
off. It’s done.”

“You’re insane
,
” I barked. “You always were.”

Sharon smiled. “I just got back from visiting Rich.
He
was glad to see me and hear my story. It was a very emotional
reunion
.”

“You’re lying.”

“No, I’m not. Justin was there.
He
’s so sweet.
He just wants to
help you, but seems he and your
lit
tle librarian friend
found some stuff out.”

What was it about her
expression?
It was smug
,
and that scared me even more.
What had she
done?
“Dr. Andrews will attest to me.”

“That you’re crazy and should never have left the hospital.
He’s so nice. And attractive
,
too.” She brought her finger to her lips. “Did he mention that he and I have been having sex?”

Her words could have been a physical object. They
attack
ed me. “No. He wouldn’t.”

“He did. Lots and in many ways. I’ve been in his office
,
Pam. In fact, when we fucked last night, we broke that little green lamp he has on his desk. Bent me right …”

“No!” I screamed. “No!”

“Don’t believe me? Ask to see his phone. He has all kinds of naughty pictures of me on there. I think I’ll keep fucking him even after you go away. And you are
going away
...”
S
he leaned to me. “There’s this mechanic who turned you in for Marion Blake’s murder. Saw you walking in
to
her apartment.”

“That was you. He saw you. If he turned anyone in, it was you.”

She smirked. “How would he know what I look like?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. Maybe... he got a hold of those pictures Dr. Andrews has.” I was just being facetious, but I struck a chord. Her expression dropped
,
and she spun on her heels and took off.

When she did that,
I realized she was scared. Was there truth to the pictures on Dr. Andrews’ phone? I felt sick to my stomach
;
my head spun. I trusted him; he couldn’t have betrayed my trust.

I pulled out my phone and called him, trying to be calm. Not to sound insane in
case she played mind tricks on me.

“Hello.”

The mere sound of his voice sent a jolt of shock through me. “Dr. Andrews.”

“Pam? Pam, you sound upset. What’s wrong?”

“Did you … did you sleep with Sharon?” I asked calmly.

“Pam, listen to me …”

I lost it
, screaming my loudest into the phone
. “Did you!”

A pause. It told me more than any words.

“I’m sorry, I …”

“How could you do this to me! How! I trusted you. I trusted you! How!” My name was being called over and over, but I didn’t want to hear it. Not only did my husband betray me with Sharon, but my doctor as well. “Never contact me again!” I ended the call and shut off my phone.

Immediately, I burst into tears. I didn’t know what to do, where to turn
,
or who to call. I just ran to my car. I had to get away and think.

Several things occurred in the moments after Sharon left my car in that alley. I realized several things.

It was time to give up the case. Honestly, that was my first thought. I crossed the line, no matter how I looked at it or justified it
.
I was unethical.

Sharon, the very thought of her was a drug to me. A
quick
addiction
.
Even as I knew I would stop myself from seeing her again, I craved her.

Returning
to my office, I received a call from the police. They needed to speak to me and wanted me to come to the station first thing in the morning. I agreed. I knew it was over. Sharon would be done for and Pam could put closure to everything.

In my office, the late hours settling in, I gathered up all the charts from State on Pam and gathered my own folder. I added to that folder the picture of Sharon. I took it from my phone, printed it and placed it in there.

I
called
James Hathaway and asked him to pick up the case files as soon as possible. He said he’d stop by after his card game, and I told him I would wait.

More than I projected, I needed to talk to him.

The
brief
and frantic call from
Pam
wracked me with guilt
,
and I didn’t know what to do.

After I called James, I slowly deleted the other
Sharon
pictures from my phone. It actually made me sad. I found myself using my finger and tracing the
contour
of her nude body.

Sick. I needed help.

Delete.

The door opened. There wasn’t a knock. Nothing.

I smelled her perfume before I even looked up. “Sharon, this isn’t a good idea.”

She shut the door. “I need to talk to you.”

She
had been crying.
I could see that. I stood and walked around my desk. “
You need to leave.”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Any problems that I caused you,” She moved
toward
me.

I inched back. “It’s quite alright.”

“The news said my
name
is blasted all over.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Did you turn me in?” She
squeaked out
her words.

“I … I gave your name
,
yes.”

A single sob and her head fell forward. I felt bad, I felt really bad for her.

“Sharon,” I
i
nched back to her.
“It’s going to be all right.”

“I know. I just have no one. And I
know
it’s
wrong
, but …
”
Her head fell into my chest. “I got so close to you so fast. I loved last night. I loved today. Tell me you don’t regret it.”

“It was
wrong  ...
but I enjoyed it too.”

I
thought I
was comforting her. And then I felt her hand move from my side to my stomach and
downward
.

“Sharon, no.” I
grabbed her
hand.

She pressed against me, tip toeing up and speaking
close to
my ear. “Just one more time. Just once more. I won’t tell.”
She pulled
her hand from me and ran it down my crotch,
cupping
me gently. “I won’t tell. I need you.”

A lump formed in my throat
,
and I swallowed. I could have stopped her, I had every intention. My mind swarmed a
s
her hand undid my belt.

“Just think of today. How good it was. I was bad. You punished me.”

My pants unzipped and she lowered
them
some.

I shook my head. “This can’t happen.”

“Let me pleasure you …” She whispered. “One more time.”

It didn’t take any effort for her to release me from my
pants;
my aroused state did that all on its own.

She tr
ai
led her lips down my neck and to my chest. I felt the tip of her hair brush against my
chin;
I had a momentary thought of
James
Hathaway
walking in the door, busting us.

That made matters worse. I grew more excited.

It wouldn’t
take
long, I knew it. Again, my mind justified
that
t
his would be it. No more,
it
couldn’t happen
anymore
, Sharon was going away. Before long her lips had encompassed me and I didn’t have a choice.

I
gave
in.

The thrill, the
danger of
it made
the sensation feel like heaven. I grabbed hold of her head, physically encouraging her to take me all in.

Her lips. Her tongue.

I was on the edge.

My head flew back and my hips
bucked
forward as I held her tight against me in the final moments of my explosive pleasure.

My legs were weak and the wave of pleasure
consumed
me
. I swore it was longer
than
I ever felt, an
ecstasy
taking over every
square inch
of my body. I
embraced
every single millisecond of the
feeling
.

The pleasure.

The enormous pleasure.

The pain.

My eyes widened when I felt the searing sharp stab to my gut. I looked down, she still held me in her mouth, while her hand clasped a small knife that
she held
firm
ly
into my stomach.

Instinctively
and protectively, I pulled her f
ro
m me
,
and she wrenched that knife harder into me, twisting it.

I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move. I felt the blood pour from my gut a
s
I
stumbled
back
and dropped to the floor.

My eyes blinked
rapidly
in confusion, trying to focus
,
and using her foot, she turned me from my side to my back. She stood above me with a smile,
and then
slowly crouched down.

I didn’t know what she was going to do. My lips quivered, trying to say something, but when I did, she opene
d her mouth and spat in my face
the liquid remnants of my lust.

She leaned even closer. “Fuck you for turning me in.” She wiped her mouth with the back of her
hand.
W
ith an
emotionless, cold look, she turned
and walked away.

I knew she was gone. I tried to calm
myself;
each beat of my heart was going to cause me to bleed worse. She left the knife in me, and I
w
as thankful for that. I could see the sleeve of my su
i
t
jacket
, dangling from my desk. It took so much of my strength to inch back and grab that sleeve.

I pulled the jacket and my phone clunked to the floor.

“Thank God.
Thank
God.”
I wiped the jacket quickly over my face, then pressed it to my stomach. Just hold it there, hold it, the blood will clot. Help will get here.

Just about to dial 911, thinking of how I did this to myself, I realized
that
Sharon was going out in a blaze of
g
lory. It scared me. I was responsible. Before I got help for myself, I had to help someone else.

I dialed
the phone
;
my vision was blurry.

“Justin?” I stuttered.

“Dr. Andrews, I went to see my grandfather and … Sharon showed up.”

“Justin, listen to me …” I spoke breath
il
y. “Listen. You have to be careful. You …”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t.”

“I can’t talk. I’m worried about my mother.”

I cried out his name, but he hung up. After a single moan of pain and sadness, I called for help. I laid there worried, was I responsible
?
Had I pushed it inadvertently to reach a climax when I strived only to reach one for myself?

As I felt a floating feeling, I passed out on that floor.

I came to with not only the police in the room, but James, as well.

“Dr. Andrews, can you hear me?”
A paramedic leaned over me. “You’re gonna be just fine. Can you understand me?”

I tried to
moisten
my lips. “Yes.”

The paramedic turned his head. “He’s awake and alert.”

A police offic
er came over; I came to his mid
section. They had me on a cart.
“Dr. Andrews. Do you know what happened?”

Just about to answer, I saw James. “James.”
I reached out my hand for him.

James rushed over. “Desmond, they need to know who did this. Do you know?”

I nodded and pulled at James. “Sharon.
Sharon
did
this
. She’s on a rage.”

“Sharon who?” The police officer asked.

I ignored him and focused on James
.
It was hard to talk and to breathe. “My case. I
gave
you. I went too far. You have to help my
patient
. Help her. Danger.”

“Desmond, we’ll send the police to her.”

“No. You have to get there first. Her son is on his way. Please.”

“Desmond. I don’t know this case. I don’t.”

“You do. Boxes on floor. Top folder.” I winced in pain. “It was originally your case. You know what to do.”

Instantly, James hurried from me. I focused as best as I could as he walked to the boxes and lifted the folder that lay on top.

The police officer asked. “Is your patient Sharon?”

“It’s Pam,” I answered watching James.

I saw it. He knew. The
instant James opened that folder he knew.

His eyes widened in horror and he looked at me. “Oh my God.”

I sighed out in relief
when he closed that folder and
,
with it in hand, ran from my office.

He needed to get to Pam’s house first. He had to be the one to confront Sharon.
He had to be there for Justin. I just prayed he wasn’t too late.