PALINDROME (11 page)

“Hey, you’re a douche, you know that. This is
the stuff I got hooked on in the first place. You know you don’t
get a rush unless you mainline.”

“So don’t mainline, don’t get a rush. I’m
doing you a favor. You don’t want it? Give it back. I gave it to
you as an insurance policy to hold you until we get some fresh
goods.” He took the bottle out of Riley’s hand. “I ain’t your damn
nursemaid, Shawn. I’m just trying to help you out. We used to be
friends.”

The windows were completely opaque. “Leave it
and get the hell out of here,” Riley said. “And you call me the
minute you get more.”

“No problem,” Cooper said as he opened the
door. “Have a nice life.”

“Yeah, screw you, and you tell the boss I
ain’t happy.”

“Oh yes sir. I absolutely will,” Cooper said
sarcastically. “Like he gives a damn if you’re happy or not. Are
you kidding, Shawn? What happened to you? Do you realize how
pathetic you sound? You’re a junkie, cleaning up messes and digging
graves at the beach. What do you think, that you’re the next
presidential hopeful or something?” Cooper closed the door again.
“You know what, I’m sorry you’re this way. I’m sorry you can’t see
the forest for the trees. Get clean, man. These people will eat you
up and spit you out. I’ve got no delusions about that. I know this
is short term. I’m making all the dough I can and when I get
enough, I’ll gas up the Camaro and take a hike, somewhere I can’t
be found.” He handed Riley the bottle of oxy. “This stuff will kill
you, man.” Cooper’s tone had gone from angry to sincere. “It’s only
a matter of time. Vincent’s dead. Do you want to be next?”

“It ain’t so easy to get clean. I’ve
tried.”

“Try harder, man. What can I tell you, try
harder.”

Sixteen: Someone is Here to See You

Thomas
Sparks reached into his drawer
to retrieve his cell phone. It was a prepaid cell phone, the kind
with no contract and required no identification to obtain. It had
been purchased for cash, a throwaway phone. Before he answered the
phone, he checked to make sure that his office door was completely
closed. He reached over and turned on his iPhone, which was mounted
on a Bose sound dock. He played some background music, a bossa nova
standard entitled “Corcovado.” He loved the music of Antonio Carlos
Jobim but was only playing it to ensure that he would not be
overheard by anyone standing outside his door.

“Yes?” Sparks said in an unemotional
voice.

“Just checking in, as requested,” Cooper
replied.

“Our waste management problem, has it been
corrected?”

“Yes.”

“You oversaw the process personally?”

It took a moment for Cooper to reply. “Uh,
yeah.”

“
Keith
, did you check to make sure
that everything was taken care of properly?” Sparks said with
skepticism in his voice.

“I said yes, didn’t I?”

“I don’t care what you said. I’m only
interested in what you did. Need I remind you that I extended you
fifty thousand dollars to keep your pathetic ass out of jail? Need
I remind you of the personal debt you’ve incurred by accepting my
help and the extreme consequences that will result in the event of
your default? So I ask you again, did you check on this personally?
Our cleaner is an addict; that’s why I have you in middle
management, to make sure nothing comes back to bite us in the
ass.”

“I just left Shawn. Everything is fine.
Lighten up.”

“Okay, I’ll lighten up, but if there’s any
problems as a result of this, the next time I ask someone if
everything went to plan, it will be because I’m checking on the
disposal of
your
body.”

The phone was silent for seconds before
Cooper found the courage to speak again. “Are we still having
problems with supply? I’m getting calls from a lot of unhappy
customers.”

“Assure them that this is just a minor delay.
Our major competitor is about to be eliminated. When that happens,
we’ll have an unrestricted supply. Refer them to the good Dr. Rosen
for counseling and alternative treatment if their need get’s too
great.”

“No one wants to shoot oxy, you know that;
it’s too dangerous. Scraping the coating off the pills is a bitch,
and it’s hard to crush. If a big particle gets accidentally
injected, it can cause a big problem.”

“Since when are you such a bleeding heart?
You had no problem dropping GHB in an unsuspecting girl’s drink,
but you’re worried about the wellbeing of street junkies? Have you
ever heard the expression, beggars can’t be choosers?”

“It’s not good for our reputation on the
street; it’s worse if our clients die.”

“You are correct, and to that end, we have
taken precautions. Dr. Rosen’s clinic has been supplied with pure
generic oxycodone from a Canadian supplier. It’s
one-hundred-percent pure and soft-milled so that it dissolves
easily. It contains no fillers and can be injected as is. As I
said, we’ll have an unrestricted supply of heroin as soon as our
competitor is eliminated. Until then, Dr. Rosen will show our
clientele every possible courtesy. I trust you will not have any
trouble making yourself understood.”

“No,” Cooper replied timidly, “no
problem.”

“Excellent, I’m so glad we see eye to eye.”
Sparks ended the call on that note. He replaced the cell phone in
his desk drawer. He waited a few seconds before turning off the
music, savoring the last few bars of Jobim’s exquisite composition.
He stood and went to the door because he was compulsive and
neurotic. He opened the door and looked around to make sure no one
had been loitering about. The corridor outside his office was
quiet, but at the farthest end, he saw a young woman enter the
reception area. They had never met in person, and his angle was
poor but he knew who it was from her general appearance and the way
she moved—he had seen her on a video recording. They only made eye
contact for a split second before he disappeared into his office
and closed the door.

~~~

Emilio Bolan heard a knock on his door, which
he knew to be the light rapping of his secretary. “Come on in,” he
said. The door opened immediately. His secretary was an
extraordinary combination of beauty and poise. She was dressed to
meet her boss’s expectations in a tightly fitted black dress that
was cut well above the knee. Her name was Delfina, but Bolan rarely
addressed her by her proper name. “You have an unscheduled
appointment, Emilio.”

Bolan was focused on his computer screen. He
scribbled a note on a legal pad and then redirected his gaze toward
her. “I’m pretty busy, Del. I really don’t have the time.”

Delfina paused momentarily while she
considered Bolan’s instructions. “It’s the young woman you arranged
flowers for the other day by way of her attorney, Mr. Gelfman. I
thought under the circumstances you might—”

Bolan smiled. “You’re holding out on me, Del.
I’ll need a few minutes to freshen up.” Bolan stood and walked
toward his private bathroom. He stopped just before he entered the
bathroom and turned toward Delfina. “You’d better stop being so
coy. You knew I’d want to see her.”

Delfina responded with a smile as she walked
out the door to welcome Bolan’s visitor. She was outside his office
and beyond his gaze when she took a brief pause—she would not greet
Emilio’s guest with a melancholy expression. Her admiration for
Bolan was more than professional.
God I’m so jealous
, she
thought.
I hope he didn’t notice.
She took a deep breath,
put on a smile, and went out to the reception area to greet Bolan’s
visitor and make her feel welcome.

Seventeen: Dinner Date

I
don’t know what made me do it, but I
became Allie once again so that I could pursue a relationship I
should have let die. I don’t know why I couldn’t let it go.

Oh hell, I knew why. Bolan was absolutely
gorgeous, and chivalrous, and everything I had ever wanted in a
man. Perhaps it was the yellow roses that had pushed me over the
edge, doing what I knew not to do, doing what I knew would
infuriate Ax. Perhaps it was the somber day I had spent with Gabi,
or the syringe in the head, or the off-putting hazel eye, or the
50K in the bank, or perhaps it was none of the above. Perhaps it
was just me being me, Lexa the flake, doing what no one else would
do, assuming another girl’s identity and living my life as Allie
instead of living life as myself.

Bolan’s office was in Manhattan and was
located in an impressive building on 63rd off Lexington, where you
had to be photographed and registered before you were allowed past
the lobby attendant to the elevators. He was a partner in a large
law firm. The firm name,
Bolan and Mendes,
was stenciled on
the glass entranceway doors. His secretary told me that Bolan only
saw clients by appointment, but I knew he would see me. I felt that
we had made a connection in Gelfman’s office, the connecting of
Allie’s hazel eyes and his extraordinary eyes of turquoise. They
say the eyes are the mirrors of the soul, and if this is so, Emilio
Bolan possessed the most beautiful soul of anyone on earth. I saw a
lot in his eyes and was mesmerized by their unique beauty.

The meeting in his office was brief, but not
so brief that he did not ask me to dinner, and so there we were,
scant hours later.

The Blue Water Grill was located in Union
Square. It was charming and cosmopolitan all at the same time, but
more than this, it was alive with the richness and the culture of
New York City. The patrons seemed to be bright and interesting
people. It made me feel special to be with them and to be with
Emilio.

Emilio made reservations on the lower level
where a jazz trio played while we dined. It was so much more than I
had ever known before. Mine had been a life that had taken me from
home to home and town to town over the course of my young years. It
was a life in which I had portrayed many people, but too rarely had
I enjoyed life as myself. As I listened to the music, I wondered if
this could be me. Could I be Allie for the rest of my life? As I
stared into Emilio’s dazzling eyes I thought,
yes
, maybe I
could be Allie if being Allie meant that I could be with him.

“You seem to enjoy jazz,” Emilio said. “So
bringing you here was a good choice?”

He looked at me with such warmth. It was as
if he derived pleasure from my happiness. “I don’t know much about
jazz, but I’m enjoying the music.”

“So I did well?”

“Yes, Emilio, you did very well.”

“This is Benny Goodman’s music from the Big
Band Era. This piece is called ‘Topsy,’ and this trio is doing a
beautiful job of reducing it to its purest and most essential
components. I love it!” Emilio smiled and drank a small sip of his
wine, savoring the pinot noir’s rich flavor.

“I’m glad you invited me to dinner.”

“I’m glad you accepted.” He put his hand on
mine, just for a second, and then he withdrew it. “I think you knew
when you received my flowers that the ball was in your court.”

“I’m not accustomed to dating such a
gentleman. Younger men are—”

“No need to explain, Allie. I was once a
young man too.” Emilio put down his wine. This time he took my hand
and held it. “My client, whose name we no longer need to mention,
his acts were so . . . I was offended. As his legal representative,
I was bound to proceed in his best interest, but when I met you and
saw how lovely you were . . . It made me feel dirty. I have been an
attorney for many years, but to be truthful, I never represented
anyone on a matter of sexual assault.” Emilio shrugged. He patted
my hand and then withdrew again. “I have to thank you again for
giving me this opportunity to apologize.”

“You’re not like any attorney I’ve ever
met.”

“Really, how many attorneys do you know?”

“Just you and Mr. Gelfman.”

“And you still view attorneys in a bad
light?”

“You know what people say about lawyers. You
and Mr. Gelfman have been very nice to me.”

I heard a commotion at a nearby table—some
guy was arguing with his date. He stood up and threw his napkin
down on the table. “Bitch!” he said before dropping some bills down
on the table. As he turned to leave, I saw that he was well known,
a rapper who called himself Grand Master Whammy.

“Such an idiot,” Emilio said.

“He’s famous.”

“He is? Who is he?”

“A rapper named Grand Master Whammy.”

“These entertainers have such big egos. They
think they are invincible.”

“Sure, but it doesn’t hurt to temper all that
invincibility with a little humility.”

“These people don’t understand humility,
Allie. When I was growing up in Madrid, my father had tremendous
influence over me. He taught me respect and honor. You cannot blame
people who grew up parentless when they act out. They buy cars and
homes and jewelry to excess as a statement of their
accomplishments. They boast to overcome their lack of self-esteem.
But I agree, the high and mighty attitude is unappealing.”

The band finished the song it was playing and
went on break. As they walked off, our appetizers arrived. “This
looks delicious,” Emilio said.

The wine was in my head. It was delicious and
intoxicating, as was the company. It was one of the most enjoyable
experiences I had ever had.

Emilio smiled. “I talk too much. Enjoy your
food.”

I had ordered sushi to start with, not your
garden-variety California roll but a spicy tuna concoction called a
monster roll. It was savory and spicy all at the same time. The
tuna was so fresh that it melted in my mouth. Emilio ate his
grilled octopus and looked up at me between bites, smiling his
charming smile. I wasn’t sure if he was just being a good host or
if he felt what I felt. I licked the salty soy sauce off my lips
and ached to feel the warmth of his lips on mine.