Painless (27 page)

Chapter 58

They left the train platform and headed for the parking lot. Billy couldn’t ever remember noticing a security camera in his entire life, but now he noticed each and every one and took special note of what angle they were being shot from.

As was par for the course, Carolyn continued to be unfazed by the chaotic whirlwind she was the center of. She went on and on to Dana about her trip to Montreal. She put special emphasis on her new friend, Angelique. Thanks to Billy, she did pick up a certain habit during her excursion north of the border. She now prefaced all verbs with le—le walking, le eating, le sleeping. Like most habits of a four-year-old, it started off adorable, and then was downgraded to cute, before spiraling to teeth-gnashing annoying.

Martin dropped them off at the airport. They bought tickets with Dana’s credit card, but never boarded the plane. They wanted all interested parties to believe they left town. They then risked the security cameras of a CVS they found near the airport, and purchased bandages, gauze, and antiseptic for Carolyn’s wound, along with a map of the area, which helped guide them to the shelter of a nearby fleabag motel within walking distance. Every few minutes the room shook when another plane took off, causing them to leap out of their skin.

Dana took Carolyn into the bathroom and put the clean bandages on her gunshot wound. She remained concerned about infection, still convinced they should get her to a hospital. But Billy knew that would be more lethal than her wound. She also had one of her fevers, and they were unsure if they needed to treat it differently because of her loss of blood. This was uncharted terrain.

Carolyn didn’t seem as concerned. She declared that she was hungry and wanted “Chinee” food. Her wish was granted forty minutes later when their food arrived from a local takeout joint they found in the Yellow Pages. The unknowing delivery boy was met with an interrogation worthy of Guantanamo, before they finally accepted the food. Carolyn ate gracefully with her chopsticks, once again morphing into an adult before their eyes, and then just as quickly turning back into a helpless four-year-old.

After their stomachs were filled with the greasy food, Dana tucked Carolyn in for the night. Billy noticed how she was clinging to Dana. He was right—she needed the female companionship.

Billy sat at a small desk beside the bed, lit only by dull light from a desk lamp. Dana returned and immediately broke their awkward silence, “Listen, there was just so much coming at me at one time, and when I learned about what happened in D.C. and your motivation behind it, it made the ending of your manuscript seem such a real possibility. My head ran with the idea. I freaked.”

“You mean my
fictional
manuscript?”

Dana shrugged guilty shoulders.

“You were just worried about Carolyn. That’s all any of us are doing,” Billy said.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Dana offered.

“What’s done is done.”

“I mean about what happened in D.C. I understand why you did what you did, and I might have done the same thing if I were in your situation. I know the whole truth, so what’s the harm in talking about it?”

He just shook his head no.

She nodded as if she understood. “Well, if you ever do, I’m here.”

“Do you want to talk about what that keep hope alive stuff means?”

“No.”

He smiled ruefully. “Then I guess all we have to talk about is this fine mess we find ourselves in.”

In the short time he’d known her, Billy had never seen Dana looking so vulnerable. He put his arm around her. They had developed intimacy force fields over the years, so the moment felt unnatural.

“We have to be strong for Carolyn,” he said.

“And Beth and Chuck,” she added, her eyes filling with despair.

“We’re going to find them, I promise.”

“And how do you plan to do that?” she asked with a skeptical look.

“We have the element of surprise on our side. They don’t know that we know about Jordan, just like they didn’t know about Calvin at the cabin. They have been the aggressors this whole time, using fear to keep us on our heels. But now, we are going to be the aggressors, and make a surprise visit to Dr. Jordan’s office. I have a feeling when we threaten to expose him, he will be willing to hand Chuck and Beth over.”

He hoped.

“We can’t give Carolyn up under any circumstances,” she replied, her face still full of doubt.

He nodded. It was understood. Nor could they go to the police. “We’re up against some heavy duty artillery here. It seems like they can get to us anywhere and anytime. According to Calvin, they were behind the situation in Iran. For all we know, the government might be involved. Who knows how far and wide this thing reaches.”

“Albany is the last place they expect us right now. Scared people run, so we bought some time, but not much,” Dana said, sounding more like Jack Bauer than Dana Boulanger. “So we need to get out of here first thing in the morning.”

Billy took a long look at her. Without her facade of motion, he was able to get a clear look at her for the first time. He always knew she was attractive, but never noticed how really beautiful she was. Something twanged inside him. He knew he was a long way from ever being able to give his heart away, but for the first time in a long time he felt a twinge of hope that one day he could.
Keep hope alive.

“Tell me everything leading up to Chuck and Beth disappearing,” he said.

Dana again recounted the Hasenfus visit to her office, including the pictures of Kelly. She paused, as if giving him the opportunity to defend the photos, but he refused to deny hitting Kelly, or talk about it at all. Dana then detailed her trip to the barn, finding Beth’s BlackBerry and a package from Evelyn, but no Chuck or Beth.

Billy took the Evelyn package into his hands. “Why didn’t you open it?”

It was intended for Beth. Why would I open it?”

“What if Evelyn saw something, but she was afraid? Maybe she left a clue for you camouflaged as a package.”

Dana rolled her tired eyes. “Knock yourself out. But if it’s a cow sweater, you’re the one who’s going to be wearing it.”

He tore the package open, the ripping sound being drowned out by a loud plane taking off overhead. Contents spilled out on the table. A handwritten letter lay on top.

Dana grabbed the letter and said, “That’s my mom’s writing.”

She began to read.

Chapter 59

My beloved Beth (you know I prefer to call you Elizabeth, but I know you hate that),

As I write this you are six years old. First grade—wow—and how smart you are. I know we will not be able to keep the truth from you forever. And that’s what worries me, Beth. The truth could be very harmful to you, and I never want to see that big gap-toothed smile wiped off your face. Or your fearlessness, or wonderment, or even your unbreakable will (stubbornness I admit, but you see, I am very biased when it comes to you.)

You have been with us for two years now and it has become quite obvious that your mother, father, and brother will not be able to return to your life. I pray every day that they will, not that I don’t selfishly want to hold you close to me forever, quite the opposite, but there are days when a girl really needs her mother. They were so proud of you—you have to trust me on that one. It’s important that you know this.

So let me get to what happened. I’m stalling, I know! If you are reading this, Beth, then I am no longer in this world. My hope is that I am around long enough to tell you in person when you are old enough. You see, I was diagnosed with a little heart thing today. It was nothing really, but it made me think to write you this letter in case I’m not around. It is important that you are prepared for the danger that lurks out there, endangering your sweetness.

You were not abandoned, Beth, as you’ve been led to believe. Your mother gave you to me because you were in danger, and she would do anything to protect you. I am not even completely sure why, but people are after your family. Your mother was a student of mine at Siena who I grew close to, always my downfall as a professor, and then post-grad she became my assistant. We worked together up until I left Siena and moved to Greenwich. And I take it as a great honor that she would entrust me with the most precious thing in her life. I will include some of the correspondence between your mother and me, so that you know for sure, and have proof of how much she loved you. The only person who knows, besides your parents and myself, is your new grandmother, Beverly. Not Tom, not Dana or your new brothers, not anyone.

On Christmas Day almost two years ago, your mother had come to New York to meet with a doctor about your brother’s condition. Many strange events were occurring and she had become suspicious that people were after them. So she asked me if I would take care of you if anything “happened.” I saw the fear in her eyes, and I had known Carol Ann to be honest to a fault, so I didn’t hesitate. I wanted to keep it as quiet as possible, but I had to exchange some of the publicity of the “Abandoned Child” in order to make your story believable. I held my breath that the local media coverage wouldn’t spread the story beyond our little place of the earth and blow your cover. Your parents were the most honorable people I know. Giving you up was a sacrifice of great unselfishness, not the other way around. They would never abandon you.

As I write this letter, I am watching you run around our living room. Your smile is lighting up the room, as it always does. I promised you that we would go to the park as soon as I am done with this letter. You are growing quite impatient. Your sister Dana just arrived home from high school cheerleading practice and you should see the big hug she gave you. You are so lucky to have each other. As we are so lucky to have been blessed with you—our angel! You have come into my life at a time when I have been forced to give up my love—teaching—and I’m questioning my choice in marriage. I hope you are old enough to understand such concepts when you read this, and that you and Dana find someone who will love you for who you are, unconditionally. I had become numb, wandering through life not wanting to wake up the fates. But when you came into my life, my heart burned again, and suddenly felt the bittersweet combination of love and pain that makes up this crazy thing called life. On that note, I will now end this letter and take you and Dana to the park. My girls, may you stay safe forever!

Love always,

Mrs. B

Dana exploded into tears. Billy tried to comfort her, but it was obvious she needed to alone with her mangled emotions, so he let her be. Beth was sent to meet Mrs. B, just as Joe Skaggs had told him on the train, but it had nothing to do with selling her on the black market. Billy studied the other materials that accompanied the letter, picking up a family photo that doubled as a Christmas card.
Seasons Greetings from The Penningtons
, it read.
Steve, Carol Ann, Nathan and Beth.
Her real name was Beth Pennington.

It was impossible not to see the resemblances. Carol Ann, Beth’s mother, was a carbon copy of the grown-up Beth. The short strawberry blonde hair, freckled nose, and stern look. The father, Steve Pennington, was a sturdy man who stood beside his family like the protector. The young Beth in the photo was an eerie clone of Carolyn, her fairer hair the only difference. As he viewed the photo, Billy thought his mind was doing tricks on him.

His eyes then focused on a young boy, probably eight or nine years old. Half his face was severely burned, while the other half was unscathed. He remembered Beth telling him that the other children cruelly called him E.T., after the popular movie of the time about an alien. Billy knew what was wrong with the boy. And he wasn’t an alien.

Billy sifted through the numerous photos and correspondences. He was intrigued by the level of paranoia in Carol Ann’s writings. Government conspiracies, something was wrong, didn’t trust the doctors, etc. In one letter she mentioned a Dr. Dash Naqui, who she planned to meet on that infamous Christmas Day. Mrs. B had hidden the correspondences all these years, so presumably nobody was aware of Naqui to check him out. Billy wrote down the name in his reporter notebook.

Billy was sure it was all connected. He was convinced that Beth’s brother, Nathan, had CIPA. Beth didn’t have it, but was a carrier. Operation Anesthesia was not new. When he thought about it, Calvin was maybe sixteen, and said he was born at the Anesthesia camp. So it was very plausible that the government conspiracy Carol Ann talked of in her letters, was to kidnap Nathan, just like they were now trying to capture Carolyn.

But it didn’t answer all his questions. What happened to the rest of the Penningtons? Was Nathan captured, or was he hidden at a safe-house like Beth? What happened to her parents—Carol Ann and Steve Pennington? As far as he knew, Debi Edelstein was the last person to see them, when she witnessed them put their four-year-old daughter on a train and send her like a Christmas gift to Mrs. B. The real
Polar Express
.

As Billy shoved the contents back into the envelope, he noticed Carol Ann Pennington’s return address written on the upper corner of one of the envelopes she sent to Mrs. B. It was 1154 East Lyndon Street in Schenectady. The place where this story began over twenty years ago.

Billy knew that all great stories begin with a bad beginning, before the characters rise from ashes—overcome great odds—endure great tragedy. All leading to a mercurial rise toward a triumphant end. Billy realized that for this story to have a good ending, they would have to start at the bad beginning.