Overture (Rain Dance, Book 1) (Rain Dance Series) (33 page)

     
As soon as I
got home, I began filling the tub for a bath. It wasn't until my body was
soaked in warm water, surrounded by bubbles and the scent of chocolate that I
felt sort of like myself again. I leaned my head back and tried to clear my
mind. If I disappeared for a little bit, I would probably come back feeling
much better. So for the first time in months, I allowed myself to go
there
- to imagine I was safe, sleeping peacefully where no one could ever reach me,
just like in my dreams.

     
An hour passed,
maybe even more, when I realized that it wasn't enough. The water wasn't
enough. The urge was too strong. I needed more. I needed to disappear
completely. I needed the ocean, and until I got it I knew that I would be left
feeling like only half of a person.

     
Sometime after
that, I was lying on my bed, waiting for dinner to be done while listening to
my
moody-tunes
playlist when my phone rang. It was Ethan, of course.

     
"
Kitten
."
It almost came out as a purr. Had I been feeling like myself, the effect would
have been devastatingly good.

     
"Hey, you.
How was work?"

     
"Busy. I'm
sorry I didn't get a chance to see you."

     
"We'll
have plenty of time to see each other over the weekend, won't we?"

     
"Yes." I could almost hear him smile. When I didn't say
anything else, he began digging for information. "I heard from Patricia
that you had another little run-in with Karina. I hope she didn't say anything
too bad this time."

     
"She
apologized."

     
"Oh."
He sounded surprised.

     
"I met
your aunt. She's scary," I admitted.

     
He laughed, but
there was an edge to it. "Yeah, she is. Did
she
say anything bad to
you?"

     
"…Not
really." It was basically the truth. She had only implied stuff.

     
"Really?" He sounded surprised again. "Are you
sure?"

     
"Well, she
made it very obvious that she doesn't like me."

     
"She
doesn't like anyone."

     
"She likes
Karina."

     
"And God
help her for that."

     
When I heard
the timer go off in the distance, I sat up. "Dinner is calling me. I gotta
go."

     
"…Alright.
I'll see you tomorrow," he said quietly.

     
"Mm."
I was about to hang up when I suddenly had the urge to tell him something.
"I trust you, you know."

     
"Oh?"

     
"That's
all. Goodnight. Sleep well." I hung up and set the phone down before going
to get my food out of the oven. Dale must have been out with his coworkers - or
Samantha. I ended up eating in my room while watching old reruns on my laptop.

When
I woke up the next morning, I didn't feel like doing anything. And by anything,
I meant literally
anything
. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to eat.
I didn't even want to see Ethan. I didn't want to go back to sleep. I didn't
want to
be
.

     
I was in the
danger zone, and I knew from experience that if I followed through and did
nothing, it would lead to
days
of nothing. Days of nothing would lead to
the eventual upbringing of pent up emotions - the ones that would lead me to
recognizing just how worthless I was. Depression would come next, and the
spiral that came afterwards would probably ruin me.

     
But at this
very moment, I didn't care. So rather than getting up and going to work on my
angels, I put my headphones on and went back to sleep.

     
When I woke up
again it was almost noon. Through my window, I could see that the sun was at
its highest point. Its light hit my skin uncomfortably, the heat of it causing
a sheen of sweat to form on my body.
Too hot. Need water.
Even so, I
still didn't feel like getting out of bed. At this point, I knew that there was
only one thing that could fix this.

     
When I moved
away from the SoCal region about seven years ago, I had always remained near
the coast. That way, whenever I was feeling down, I could visit the ocean.
I
guess today is going to be an adventure day.
With a great amount of effort,
I got up, charged my iPod, and headed into the bathroom for a quick shower.
While waiting for my hair to dry, I drank a fruit smoothie and packed myself a
lunch, then dug into my closet to find my safe. From it, I gathered a bunch of
money into my wallet, which I placed into my miniature backpack, along with a
few choice items that might keep me safe in case someone tried to rape, kidnap,
or kill me.

     
It would be
chilly where I was headed, so I dressed accordingly, sticking primarily to the
colors black and maroon. I left my hair down, but put a little bit of makeup on
to see if it would brighten my mood. It didn't.

     
Remembering
that the trains of Washington were rather limited, I quickly went online.
I'll
just have to take the bus.
I wrote down the directions I would need and
took off to the nearest bus stop.

     
I had brought
my charger just in case, but I didn't want to use up all the battery on my iPod
since I would probably want to hear a few special songs once I reached my
destination. I was very careful, spending only a certain amount of time
listening to music during the first part of the journey. When it came to the
longer bus rides, I became a bit more lenient. Having been in a hurry to catch
the first bus, I hadn't let my phone charge for long enough. I would have to
keep it off completely until I found a place to charge it. It'd be especially
inconvenient if its battery ran out when I really needed it.

     
The sun was
still bright in the sky, which made for a lovely view during the journey. Like
all the times before, I made sure to always take a window seat so I could peek
out at the world. It took five buses to get to where I was headed, and for the
most part it was quiet, especially once outside of Seattle.
Green.
Everything is so green.

     
I nearly fell
asleep on the third bus - my butt did for sure, and as I stood when it came
time to get off, it prickled with pain. Twice I worried about missing or
catching the wrong bus. Of course, I'd brought enough cash so even if that
did
happen, or if I accidentally lost my way, I could just take a cab back to
Seattle. But as cabs were so damn expensive, I would try to avoid that at all
costs. Even if money was no longer that much of an issue, I would sooner spend
it on other things...like food. Or clothes.

     
The wait for
the last bus allowed me just enough time to eat the food I had packed. I sat under
a tree, munching away on a sandwich and a bag of chips. The clean air here,
wherever here was, was something else. Part of me missed this - not knowing
where I was. If I didn't know where I was, it meant that no one else could know
where I was, either.

     
I stuffed my
trash into a nearby dumping bin before returning to the bus stop. When I
noticed the Sun was beginning to set, I realized that I hadn't even thought
about how I would be getting home. I was pretty sure that most, if not all, of
the buses stopped running late at night. It was illegal to sleep overnight on
the beach, but if I did it far away from where anyone patrolled, they'd be none
the wiser. It was just an idea, though, as it'd probably be too cold for that.

     
Finally, after five-and-a-half
hours, the journey came to an end. As soon as I stepped out into the world, I
was hit with the familiar scent that represented home to me. I couldn't keep
the smile off my face. I didn't bother checking my phone for directions, I
simply allowed my nose to do the leading. Too eager move at a slow, steady
pace, I practically ran. Luckily, the bus stop was literally just a few minutes
away, so in no time at all, I had found it.

     
I walked
towards the open waters in a trance, unblinking. The sounds of the waves
whispered longingly in my ears, tempting me to come closer. The ocean breeze
moved against me like a seductive caress, and I felt its chill all the way down
to my bones. The salty smell hung thick in the air - I could almost taste it on
my tongue. I tried to take in every little detail of the view I was presented
with, but the colors wouldn't stay still. Always in motion, constantly
moving…ever changing. The outer edges were a deep blue, but the setting sun lit
up the entire center, creating a sea made up of gentle, flickering flames. I
longed to touch it - to bathe in it. I didn't just want to drown. I wanted to
burn in it.

     
The sound of
screaming teenagers woke me from my reverie. I exhaled loudly and looked around
for a safe spot, needing to be alone. Unable to find one, I began walking up
the shoreline, keeping my eyes towards the ocean. Go ahead, keep calling me
crazy. But to me, it was like walking with a lover.
That's how fucking much
I loved it.

     
When I arrived
at the point where all the people and buildings began fading into the distance,
I didn't stop walking. I would keep on wandering to a place where I couldn't be
found. A place where no one would think to go looking. I
would
disappear, if only for a little while.

     
It was nearly
dark by the time I found the right spot. I took a seat and stared at the sight
before me. Not only did I feel safe, but I felt whole again. Breathing in
deeply, I allowed my mind to go quiet. For the next half-hour, I simply enjoyed
the view and the feeling of being alive.

     
When I was
content enough to leave in peace, I put my headphones on and lowered myself
down onto the sand. Staring up at the night sky, I could see that it was
overrun with stars. Somehow, it felt as though I were lying upside down while
looking at the heavens below me. It was dizzying, but beautiful. Much too
beautiful to keep only to myself. And for the first time that day, it bothered
me that I was alone.

     
Shit. I hope
Ethan hasn't tried to contact me.

     
I took my phone
out and turned it on. There were four missed calls and a few text messages from
him, plus two from Dale.

     
I read Dale's
first:
Ethan called looking for you. He's pretty worried since you won't
answer. Let me know that you're alive when you get this.

     
I replied:
Sorry,
left my phone off. I'm totes dead. A ghost. I'll contact Ethan from the spirit
world.

     
Then, offering
a small prayer, I looked over at Ethan's messages.

     
Feeling
alright? I don't think you've missed showing up on a weekday yet.

     
Did you leave
your phone off?

     
Hey

     
Where are you
and why doesn't Dale at least know?

     
You sounded
weird on the phone last night. Is that why you've gone missing? Was it my aunt?

     
If you don't
call me in a few hours I'm going to send out the cavalry.

     
I chuckled and
took a deep breath before dialing his number. Hopefully, he wouldn't be too
mad. He answered on the first ring.

     
"Daphne,"
he sighed in relief.

     
"Sorry. My
phone has been off."

     
"What
happened? Where are you?"

     
"I'm at
the beach."

     
"The
beach," he repeated. "Where? Are you alone?"

     
"Um…"
I looked around, trying to remember the name. Not that looking around would
actually help any. "Somewhere near Pacific State Park."

     
There was a
pause. "…Outside of Seattle?"

     
"Yeah."

     
"Why are
you-" He cut off and began mumbling something to himself. That, or he was
talking to someone else. "There are beaches here. Did you know? The city
being surrounded by water and all. Fucking Alki Beach," he said angrily.

     
I shook my head
- not that he could see it. "It's not the same. I needed to see the actual
open ocean."
I needed to see on and on forever.

     
"Fucking
Christ." There was a weird slap.
Did he just facepalm...?
"And
how exactly did you get there?"