OVERFALLS (The Merworld Water Wars, Book 2) (27 page)

“I’m so jealous!” said Airianna. “Look at the jeans!” She crawled off the bed to examine my uniform. “Yellow stitching…means good luck…nice, strong, water-resistant...and the bottoms are even wide leg, which is totally flattering.” Tossing up her hands, she said, “Well, if they were judging on uniforms alone, you’d have it won. Maile made these?”

“Sure did, with a sprinkle of Meikle’s witch-y-ness.”

“Maile is one talented young lady,” said my mom. “That is just gorgeous.”

“And she catered to everyone’s requests. Black for Meeks and Trey, pink for Polly, lavender for Ophelia, denim for me, a sequin for Gully, and silver, which was her touch, I think.”

“I really must speak to her about designing a dress for the Valentine’s ball,” said Airianna, still examining Maile’s handiwork.

“Think they’ll hold the ball elsewhere this year, now that the Normals live at Hambury House?” asked Mom, casually flipping through Airianna’s magazine.

“Definitely.” In a hushed voice, Airianna said, “I’ve heard rumblings about some special galas being sponsored by each of the visiting elementals. I bet the Valentine’s Day ball is one of them.”

“I bet they’ll be spectacular,” said Mom. “Gowns, balls, dancing, magic. It’s like a fairy tale…but not, considering there’s a crazy mer-family who hates us and some lunatic murderer on the loose.”

“Yeah, maybe we should shelve the guts and gala talk for a minute and figure out how I’m going to focus my Savior skills for tonight. I either need to horny-up—and the mental image of Troy wearing a sash really isn’t doing it for me—or just get severely pissed off.”

“Oh my crap,” said Mom, slamming the magazine shut.

“Mom, the horny factor isn’t an unknown. I told you already, and it’s absolutely nothing I can help. It’s how I’m wired, like a perverted robot.”

“It’s not that,” she said as Airianna peeked at the page Mom had just been skimming.

With a high-pitched gasp, Airianna hid the magazine behind her back. “So, you need to be hormonally activated, right? Maybe some nice pirate movie with what’s-his-name?”

“Airi’s right, sweetie. Who wants to be angry and piss-y when the other option is so much more enjoyable?”

Mom promoting the sexy vibe to her hormonally challenged teenage daughter over an arguably safer option raised my b.s. antenna. I narrowed my eyes on the two of them, zoomed forward, and snatched the magazine from Airianna’s hands. I didn’t have to flip many pages before I spotted the gasp-causing picture: Troy with a mermaid—a mermaid with Christmas-red hair and a green and white fin. The headline was a doozy:
Does Prince Troy Fancy Tinsel or Toes?

“Prince Troy was spotted with ex-flame Mary Ella Tinsel, a Christmas mermaid, just this week,” I said, reading the article. “‘They looked really cozy, whispering, giggling, and touching each other affectionately,’ said one onlooker. The prince’s fondness for redheads is obvious, but could this recent sighting mean he’s retiring the tired toes of alleged Siren Savior, Marina Valentine, for some fine fin? Stay tuned.” I crinkled the magazine in my hands, somehow turning it to dust. As I wiped the remaining bits of what used to be Airianna’s magazine off my hands, I said, “No worries about tonight. My powers are steady as a rock...a really big, really sharp, really heavy rock.”

Eleven o’clock, stadium, waiting in the tunnels for our missing coach
. Like good little Normals, we arrived at the grand and glowing stadium at precisely quarter to eleven. The coaches had a mandatory meeting with the judging panel to review the rules and greet the official announcer of the Overfalls, but that was supposed to be long over by now.

“Where’s Jex?” cried Ophelia. “We can’t go out there without him!”

“I’m here! I’m here!” shouted Jex, soaring towards us.

“I loathe his floating,” Polly muttered.

“We’re literally seconds away from being called to our benches. Did something happen at the meeting?” I asked.

“You could say that,” said Jex. “There was a little hiccup with the mascots.”

“We got our dog, didn’t we?” growled Trey.

“Oh, we got a dog. It’s not a Doberman, though,” said Jex.

“No biggie,” I said. “We got the Great Dane, then.”

“Try again,” Jex groaned.

“What exactly
did
we get?” I asked.

“Oh, why spoil the surprise,” said Jex, ticked. “You’ll find out…pretty much now.”

The trumpets and trombones called the crowd to their feet and my heart to my throat. Mr. Anderson stepped onto the stage in a slate gray tuxedo. Doctor Tenly/Principal Jeepers, Luxton Vipor, and Madame Helena soon followed. Wearing formal attire in the same gray shade as Mr. Smarmy’s tux, they waved to the crowd and carefully took their seats at a precariously floating judge’s table.

Stepping to the microphone, Mr. Anderson cleared his throat and asked for the crowd’s attention. “Please welcome your colorful announcer of the first ever Overfalls…Miss Kori Naughtin!”

With a fitted black leather jumpsuit accentuating her enviable curves, Kori Naughtin shook her bum across the stage, waving, bowing, and swinging her extraordinarily long cornmeal-yellow hair; her teeth were as bright as the jewels decorating her earlobes, wrists, fingers, and neck.

“Kori is a famous mermaid actress,” said Jex. “She hit it big with some scroll series-turned-movie franchise. I dated her for a…night. Limited activity because of angel protocol. Still steamy, though.”

“Gross. But, she is gorgeous,” I said.

“She looks dull,” said Polly jealously.

“We looking at the same person, Polls?” said Trey.

“Wipe the drool before Airi sees you, okay?” I teased.

Kori shook Mr. Anderson’s hand, smiled coyly at the crowd, and took the microphone in her hands. “Thank you for having me as the first ever announcer of the Overfalls!” She paused while the fans roared their approval. “I’m honored to be here, but who cares about me, right? Who’s ready to meet the teams? Yeah, yell it!”

“Ready?” Jex asked me as I released a massive sigh.

Thinking of the picture in Airianna’s magazine, I said, “Oh, yeah. I’m ready.”

“Coached by the stunning and cunning Margaretta Spokelay, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome team Merpeople: Irving Michaels, Muriel Yoots, Benji Wamberly, Airianna Hail…and Mr. Sexy himself, Prince Troy Tombolo!”

Really?

Airianna was right: the purple sashes on both Troy and Irving were utterly ridiculous. Did they just compete at the Mr. Gyrate-it-Best Pageant? Though I know he loathed the sash, Troy was living in the moment (a little too much, if you ask me, but you probably shouldn’t because I’m so pissed at him that my judgment was a wee bit clouded).

“And last, but certainly not least, the captain of team Merpeople. I know she needs no introduction. Please welcome the lovely, talented, and kick-
ass
…Katrina Zale!”

Gag. Kori was certainly exercising her acting talents tonight.

Katrina took her sweet time basking in the love of the crowd. When she finally reached her team’s bench, Airianna crossed her leg with such perfect timing that the merbitch tripped right over it and stumbled into her seat. Even from where I stood, I could detect the faintest of smirks on Airianna’s face.

“Now, please give it up for sexy Jexy’s team—”

“Sexy Jexy?” I said. “Seriously?”

Jex looked at me sideways. “Shut it.”

“Team Normals, come on out: Ophelia ‘The Fainter’ Fountains; Which-Witch, Meikle Martinez; Polly ‘Pinky-Stinky’ Purdue; Lick-Our-Seal, Trey Campbell; Golly Gee Gully Pensmackden; and their captain, the supposed Siren Savior herself—the question mark, the dark hole of anti-wonder—Marina Valentine!”

One by one, we exited the tunnel, turning and waving, to a relatively silent crowd.

“Pinky stinky,” said Polly, passing me. “I’ll rip their frilly fins apart, one scale at a time…making sure to wash my hands between each fin, of course. That’s just showing proper sanitary skills, isn’t it?”

“Why did we get nicknames?” Ophelia groaned.

“Because they’re asses,” said Meikle.

“Kinda dig mine,” said Trey.

“You’re a guy. You would,” I sneered.

“Golly Gee Gully! So cute,” squealed Gully, skipping out of the tunnel.

Well, time for the question mark and dark hole of anti-wonder to walk and wave; only I have no intention of putting on a show for these egotistical pricks…at least, not the show they expect.

When I reached the center of the field, I paused and cupped my hands in front of me, willing the golden shield to materialize; in mere milliseconds, my friendly safeguard appeared. Swirling it around in my hands, I was able to form it into a large disc. I tossed it like a flying disc at Kori’s feet and slipped it under her spiked heels. Guiding my shield, I moved Kori left, right, up, and down. To her credit, she didn’t scream. After zipping her around the stadium, I returned her to the stage, evaporated my golden goodness, and slowly sat down.

“Wow,” said Kori, gasping into the microphone. “What a freaking ride! Hell yeah!”

At her enthusiasm, the crowd applauded, albeit tamely.

“Do that again, and you’ll have my worst side to deal with,” said Jex.

“Fine. I’ve been beating the crap out of your worst side during every Savior session anyway,” I said, shrugging.

“That’s not my worst side, love,” he growled, and I couldn’t decide if he was sexy or scary. “You could’ve gotten yourself disqualified.”

“Nah, not with Vipor and the doc on my side. Plus, Kori seemed to have fun. Don’t get your feathers in a wad.”

Jex angrily fluttered his wings. “Trusting any member of the Imperia is foolish.”

“I thought it was wicked,” said Meikle. “And I do mean wicked, as in green skin, pointy hat, and wart. Wish I’d thought of it.”

Smiling, I said, “Just couldn’t handle the mockery any longer.”

“Wasn’t as good as my idea of peeling their fins off, but it was a close second,” said Polly.

“Phew!” said Kori, smoothing her hair. “I guess she didn’t like my dark hole tag. I take it back, I take it back! Promise! I’m sure Marina’s Savior show entertained our special guests—Princess Treeva Tombolo, Prince Kyle Zale…and King Thompson Tombolo and Queen Mistaleah Zale!”

“You’re kidding.” I turned to peruse the luxury suite. Sure enough, King Tombolo, Treeva, Kyle, and Queen Zale were in attendance. Troy’s dad, Treeva, and perhaps even Kyle, appeared uneasy in the presence of Queen Zale, who took great measure to meet my eyes. Instinctively, I looked at Troy; his eyes burned with a mad sadness.

“Wonder where creepy King Zale is,” said Trey.

“Trying to find the missing stones,” said Ophelia without hesitation. “He sent the queen to observe our strengths.”

“And probably make sure they still have control of their subjects,” said Jex. “Last thing they want to see is the merps cheering for you lot.”

“By the reactions of the crowd, Queen Cruel and King Crazy don’t have to worry,” I said, concerned about Troy, which lasted all of about two seconds when I heard someone in the crowd yell, “Prince, choose Mary Ella!”

“Please welcome your judges, everyone,” said Kori. “Scream ‘hello’ to Principal Jeepers, Luxton Vipor, and Madame Helena Hambourg!” From behind their floating table, the judges greeted the crowd, with Doctor Tenly waving most enthusiastically. “Now, to the particulars—the judges will rank each contestant based on the amount of time it takes to complete the task as well as the technique used. The judge’s rankings determine how many points each contestant gets for their team. Mr. Allen Anderson will tabulate the points at the end of each event. The scores and rankings will then be verified by the wish jars of both team captains.

“Contestants, your objective tonight is to retrieve a hidden item in the Fairhair kingdom of Fairla. As I speak, your first clue will appear on the palm of your hand. Use this clue to find a specific location in Fairla—that’s where you’ll discover your next clue. Do not share your clues. Do not seek outside help while deciphering your clues. If you do, points will be deducted from your score.”

A single word in blue script appeared in my left palm: Catfish. Ooh, Kat’s Catfish Catches—the pet shop right across from Mist’s Toy Emporium!

“Once everyone is back and the scores are calculated and verified, I will announce which team leads in points. Remember, individual scores will remain confidential until after the final team match.

“Katrina Zale and Marina Valentine, as captains, you have the choice to use the dual-ended trident each of you won during the captain selection. If you choose to use your trident at any time, just say the following:
Trident be
. But remember, you may only use your trident one time over the course of the Overfalls.” Katrina and I nodded our acknowledgement. “Now…are you ready to ripple?”

Belts clasped down around our waists; the stadium, stands, stage, judge’s table, and band were suddenly encased in giant gel bubbles.

“Oh, not good.” We were
all
going underwater, only the contestants would actually get wet. God, Mom was probably wigging right now.

Jex quickly passed each of us a piece of Gravity Gum and some ulva. “Meikle?”

“It’s done. She’ll be fine,” replied Meikle, downing her wad of sea lettuce, following with her Gravity Gum.

Gully cooed at the slimy goop. “Cotton candy and gum! Thanks, Coach!”

“Uh-huh.” Jex winked at me.

“We didn’t get our mascot,” said Polly, chomping her gum. “You said we’d find out before the match. You lied.”

“No, I said you’d find out ‘pretty much now.’ I was neither specific, nor firm in my statement, thus I never lied,” said Jex smugly.

“God, I think you’re despicable,” she said. Jex laughed like an arrogant S.O.B. and Polly’s eyes turned black. Sadly, my role as team captain was secretly elated to see Polly’s demons bugging out; now she would not merely attempt proper completion of this match…she would attack it.

Without warning, our bench swiveled around to face the stage; the stage then shifted sideways, opening a clear path for our trip to the sea. Staring at the black mass reflecting only small bits of moonlight on this hazy night, something banged into the side of my seat. It was Troy; their bench had also turned to face the sea. Locking with ours, both team benches formed one solid row as we moved towards the water. The stadium itself sprouted crab’s legs and crawled alongside us—I cannot emphasize enough how creepy it looked, much less sounded.