Overdosed: Fury's Storm MC (25 page)

Jamie nodded. “I’m fine. It’s not even a long drive. Come on.” She held out a hand for Gigi, and they walked to the car together. The rest of us went for our bikes.

Before I pulled away, I placed a call to the cops about two known criminals in room two thirteen.

***

Riding back to the clubhouse was much better than riding to the motel. I kept a close eye on Jamie’s car, staying close behind. She waved once or twice to let me know she was okay. I saw Gigi turn around and wave.

They were my life. End of story. I would never let either of them go again.

Flash opened up a few bottles of whiskey when we got back, but I wasn’t interested in drinking. I watched Jamie and Gigi from the other side of the room—I wanted to give them space, since I didn’t know how they felt, but I couldn’t let them out of my sight either. Once or twice, guys walked by with a shot for me. I waved them off with a smile. I didn’t need to drink. And I didn’t wanna dull my reactions by drinking either. Even though they were safe, we were all safe, I didn’t feel that way. I still worried. I almost felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. It couldn’t be this good. I couldn’t have a happy ending. Could I?

Flash saw me standing there and stood next to me.

“It’s okay,” he said. “Everything’s okay.”

“I don’t know if I’m ever gonna feel like it’s okay again.” I looked at him. “Would you? If that was your kid, your woman?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know, man. That’s why I don’t have either.” We both chuckled a little. He got serious, though, looking at them. “This is our life. You have to decide if it’s worth it.”

“If what is? Them?”

“No, this.” He looked around. “This is it. Our world. She has her own world. Gigi could be part of either world—she’s young enough. What do you want for her? What do you want for you? Do you wanna worry about them all the time because some other club from outta town wants to take your turf? Or because you pissed somebody off?”

“It’s not like that anymore. It’s peace time.”

“Will it always be?”

I looked at Gigi. She was holding on to Jamie for dear life. Jamie was bruised, bleeding.

“I’ll keep it that way for them. That’s how this will work.”

Flash slapped me on the back with a smile, walking off to drink with a couple of the guys. I felt better than I had before. That was the answer. If she wanted me, I would do everything I could to make it so I never had to worry about her.

I walked into my office so I could be alone for a minute. As I did, I said another prayer. My second in twenty years.
Thank you, God. I’ll do whatever needs to get done to deserve them.

“Hey, Lance.” I looked up, surprised to hear Rae’s voice. She sat on the sofa by the wall. I looked around—what did she take? She chuckled. “It’s cool. I didn’t take nothin’. I didn’t even look around. Check me out if you wanna be sure.” She opened her backpack, taking things out to show me she didn’t have anything that belonged to me.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” I didn’t have anything there of any value except the computer, and she couldn’t fit that into her shitty backpack.

“You got them back.”

“You wanna see her?” I asked. Not that I would let her within twenty feet of the kid, but I had to ask.

She looked toward the closed door. “Nah. It’ll just confuse her. But she’s okay?”

“Physically, yeah. She’s fine. They didn’t do anything to her.”

“Oh, thank God. I was so scared.” She swiped a hand across her face, and I really looked at her for the first time since I walked in. Her eyes were bloodshot. Her face was blotchy and swollen. She was crying—a lot. Maybe since we left her there. I forgot all about her.

“Why’d you hang around?” I sat across from her, on the edge of my desk.

“I had to know. I could’ve exchanged my ticket, but I had to know she was safe. After you left…I thought about killing myself. I’m not tryin’ to get your pity or nothin’. I really thought about it.”

“What stopped you?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t want her to know I went out like that.”

I nodded. It was fair. I didn’t believe it—I didn’t believe a word she said, ever, but it was a good excuse. I wondered what she really wanted. Why would she hang around there when she knew I hated her? What if I never found Gigi—if I got back and saw Rae there, I would’ve killed her. It was a risk, sticking around. She had to want something.

She looked at me, and the way her eyes went narrow told me she had something on her mind. I knew it.

“I think you and me have some talkin’ to do,” she said.

I only nodded. “I think you’re right.”

Jamie

“Ouch.” I couldn’t help but wince when I felt the sting of alcohol on my scalp.

“Sorry,” Traci murmured. “I’ll have you cleaned up soon. It’s not deep. Hardly anything.”

“Head wounds always bleed more,” I said.

Erica snorted from her seat across from me. “Yeah, no kidding.” She’d needed stitches, though. My cut wasn’t anything a few butterfly bandages couldn’t handle.

I ached all over—the sting of my scalp was nothing compared to my bruised tailbone, aching arms and legs. My jaw hurt so much that it was tough to speak. Even my throat hurt from screaming. Still, I wouldn’t let go of Gigi. She was curled up in my lap, a warm, limp body in the middle of sleep. I wasn’t sure I would ever let go of her. Not after we came so close to losing her.

When I pulled up at the clubhouse with her, Erica had come running out. Gigi’s scream of total joy was ear-splitting but understandable. She’d thrown herself into Erica’s arms, overjoyed that she was still alive. Erica had felt the same about Gigi.

We sat together in the lounge with Traci making sure I was okay. Gigi was unharmed—physically, anyway. I didn’t know about emotional damage. She was young enough that it would subside over time, but she would need our help to get over it. I wouldn’t let the experience stick with her, no matter what I had to do.

“I’m going to need a handful of ibuprofen,” I murmured, shifting uncomfortably. I was sitting on a pillow, but it still didn’t help. Once the adrenaline wore off, the pain came crashing into me.

“We’ll get you fixed up,” Erica promised. “You should’ve gone to the hospital, like I did. Stubborn.”

“No way. I didn’t want the police to know what happened. You could get away with saying you fell and hit your head. What was I going to say? They would’ve seen the bruises.” I had a bruised jaw from the hit the buyer laid on me, and bruises circled my biceps thanks to The Scarecrow’s hands. The cops would’ve been brought straight to me.

“I know Lance would feel better if he was sure you don’t have a concussion. You could get painkillers at the hospital, too.”

“I’m sure Lance would feel better without having the police at his door.” I smiled at Erica, who nodded. “Besides, I feel fine. I’ll stay up all night it if makes you feel better. I won’t sleep. Just to be on the safe side.”

“After what you’ve been through?” She looked skeptical.

“Sweetie, I couldn’t sleep right now if you paid me.” I shivered a little at the word “paid,” memories of bargaining with The Scarecrow coming back. No, sleep wasn’t an option. I didn’t feel like dealing with the nightmares.

Some of the club members walked in and out, checking on us from time to time. One of them got my ibuprofen at Erica’s request, another brought ice for my jaw. I held the pack with one hand, with Gigi under the other arm. Nobody could take her away from me.

“You were so brave,” Traci murmured, sitting beside me. She held the ice in place for me for a while, giving my arm a break. “Everybody said how loud you screamed. Gigi told us how you fought them off. I mean, this bruise…”

I shrugged it off. “Either of you would have done it to protect her. Trust me, you don’t know what you’re capable of until you’re in the situation. I would never have imagined fighting the two of them off like that. In the moment, it was all I could do. And it’s not like I fought them off, I only held them back.”

“Long enough for the guys to come in and get you.”

I shook my head. I still felt like a failure—there was no way to describe it. I shouldn’t have let it happen in the first place. I should have fought harder when it did happen. I should have killed them both. I would have, if I could. I still would even after the fact. It took a lot of self-control not to take The Scarecrow’s gun and shoot them both when I saw them tied up on the bed.

It was better for them to go to prison for a long, long time. They would suffer the way they made other people suffer. Tears came to my eyes.

“What is it?” Traci slid an arm around my shoulders.

“I can’t imagine how many other women weren’t so lucky is all.”

Traci squeezed gently, and the three of us sat in silence for a long time.

***

“I’d better put her to bed.”

I looked up to find Lance standing over me. It was the first time I’d seen him since we got back to the clubhouse. He’d been in his office, door closed, for hours.

“She’s fine with me,” I whispered. Traci and Erica were both asleep—they’d decided to sit up with me, but it hadn’t taken long before they nodded off. I was the only one still awake. I’d thought there were voices coming from Lance’s office, but didn’t know who was inside.

“Let me take her upstairs,” he said, scooping her up. “You need to rest—but before that, we have to talk. I’ll be right back.” He carried her upstairs before I could protest. I waited for him, looking around the room from my seat. I never thought I’d be grateful to see the inside of the clubhouse again, but when we got back I’d almost kissed the floor in relief. Anything was better than that motel room and whatever waited for me after that.

How would I ever repay any of them for what they did for me? For Gigi? I wasn’t clear on the details, being unconscious for most of it, but I’d heard Slate shot the gun out of The Scarecrow’s hand. So close to my head, too. He was a sharpshooter in the Army, I found out. Lucky for me he was still so accurate.

I felt much the same as I had while I sat at my house earlier. My image of myself was changing. My image of them was changing, too. They did the right thing. They might have been criminals, capable of any number of shady things, but they weren’t bad people. They weren’t evil, like The Scarecrow and his buyer. They fought for what was right. It was never clearer to me, the difference between them and the really bad people in the world.

Lance came back downstairs. I couldn’t read the look on his face. Relief? Tension? Discomfort? All three? He came to me, holding out his hands.

“What is it?” I asked. I wished he would talk to me. It felt almost like there was a wall between us. Did he hate me for letting Gigi get kidnapped? Did he think I should’ve tried harder to protect her?

“Come with me. There’s something we have to talk over.”

I got up slowly, wincing at the pain in my lower back. I’d be sleeping on my stomach whenever I next slept. Good thing, too, since the back of my head was off-limits until the pain there went down.

He led me to the office, with me limping the whole way. It wasn’t until we stepped inside and the door closed behind us that I realized who Lance had been with all night.

“You.” I nearly growled when I saw Rae sitting on the sofa by the wall. She wouldn’t meet my eyes. “How could you?”

“So you know, then?” Lance murmured.

“I figured it out. How else would he know where she was?” I shook Lance’s hands off and walked to her, pain forgotten. “How can you call yourself a mother?” I asked.

She sat still, looking at the floor.

“Look at me.” I waited until she lifted her head. Her eyes met mine. I let all the hatred I felt for her show in my face. She shrank in front of me.

“Okay. Enough for now. Come on.” Lance led me to a chair beside his desk. He sat next to me with a sigh. “I’ve been talking some things over with Rae,” he said.

“How can you talk to her about anything? She doesn’t deserve the time!”

“Can you please wait a minute? Please. Just listen.”

I glared at him. How could he talk to me that way after what I had been through? But I held my tongue, if only because my throat was raw and my jaw ached.

Rae cleared her throat. “I’ll never forgive myself for what I did. Ever. You don’t need to tell me it was wrong. I panicked when he told me he would kill me.”

“She owed him money,” Lance explained, his voice quiet.

“So you were clean, huh? Just like you always told me?” I scoffed.

She winced. “Yeah, I know. I hate myself for that, too. You don’t have to remind me.”

“I do have to remind you,” I said. Lance reached out to stop me from speaking, but I brushed him off. “You let a man take your daughter. You knew he was going to sell her. Sell. Her.”

“Enough, Jamie. She knows. That’s not why we’re here together.” I looked at him, waiting for an explanation. “We’re talking about custody of Gigi.”

“I want Lance to take her,” Rae said.

I scoffed. “I would hope so.” No way I would let her have Gigi after what she did. I would have paid whatever it took to take her to court and wipe the floor with her.

“Rae’s gonna sign custody over to me. I’m gonna send her to rehab so she can clean up her act.”

I glanced at Rae. “What, you think you can get back into her good graces when you’re sober?”

She shook her head. “No. I need to get outta here. Away from everything. I’m not coming back.” She smiled sadly. “I was never cut out to be a mother. I did my best.” She looked me in the eye again, without me telling her to. “I did my best. You’ve gotta believe that. You don’t know how it is, living with something like I do. It’s hell.”

I didn’t have anything to say in response. “You’re sure you want this?” I asked Lance.

“Of course I do. I want my daughter.” Something inside me glowed with pride. He was the man I hoped he was. He would stand up and do what was right for his little girl. “I want my daughter’s mother to be okay, too. She didn’t do as bad a job as she could have. Believe me, I know.” His eyes went a little unfocused, a little distant.

I was a little shocked at how well he was taking everything, though. He wasn’t angry, but maybe resentful. I wondered if he was really the best answer for Gigi. Would he be there for her, twenty-four seven? Would he clean up his act? Would he have the patience and free time for her? His club had been the focus of his life for so long—would the switch be easy on him? I doubted it. I didn’t love the idea of Gigi having to deal with his growing pains. She had been through enough already, more than any kid her age should ever go through.

Rae stood up. “I’m gonna go now.” She walked out of the room without another word. Without even a backward glance. I listened as the front door opened and closed. I didn’t know how she’d get home, and I didn’t care.

Lance stood, too. “She won’t go to rehab,” he murmured. “She only said that so she wouldn’t look like the piece of shit person she is.”

“You think she’ll stay around?”

He shrugged. “I don’t much care anymore. As long as she hands Gigi over to me, she can do whatever she wants.”

I looked up at him, wondering. “You’re sure you’re ready for this?”

“Who is when they have a kid? The only difference is I don’t have to change diapers. I’m okay with that.” He gave me a tired smile.

“It’s a huge lifestyle change, though.”

“You think I don’t know that?” He narrowed his eyes. “You’re still trying to get me to give her to you. Is that it?”

I shook my head, totally serious. “Not at all.”

“You’re serious?”

I nodded. “Deadly. I don’t have what it takes to be a mother to her.”

Lance crouched in front of me, no longer joking. “What the hell are you talking about? You sound nuts. Maybe you do have a concussion.” He held my chin, looking into my eyes like he was checking to see if they were focused.

I pushed his hand away gently. “I’m fine. I mean what I’m saying. I don’t have what it takes. I’m too selfish. This whole time I thought I knew better than anybody else how to take care of her. It wasn’t about her. It was about my ego. I had to be the hero, you know? I had to save the day. I knew it all, I could save her. What a joke.”