Over. (This. Is. Not. Over. #2) (25 page)

“Shut up Rena,” I say, “no one’s saying Matt got beat up.”

“Oh okay.”

“Just Marlon.” I say with a little jiggle of my head and shake of my shoulders.

“You know what Danielle, I’m glad Jon’s moving to Boston. Maybe Nicky can be around someone a bit more grounded than you and your new Blair family. Because you’ve been in rare form ever since you’ve been with Malcolm.”

“What are you talking about,
Jon’s moving to Boston
?”

“Yep.” She gives me a smirk and a shoulder shake as well but for good measure she adds a nod. “Nicky needs to have a stable parent around and that obviously isn’t you anymore.”

“Jasmine you don’t even have kids, you have no idea what it takes to be a parent!”

“Let’s be mindful of others.” Rena says.

“Malcolm is bad news!” Jasmine screams.

“He is not!” I yell.

“He’s still screwing his ex!”

“He is not!”

“He probably burned her house down!”

“He did not!”

“They probably had an argument!”

“They did not!”

“And then he tried to kill her!”

“Shut up Jasmine!”

“Yeah,” Rena says, “people are starting to notice us.”

“He owned her house Danielle!”

“So what? She’s too irresponsible to own her own home. You have no idea what’s going on with Laura, Jasmine. He was trying to help her out.”

“Oh my god! He’s totally manipulated you. You know, I’d love for you to hear Laura’s side of the story. It’s guaranteed to be much different than all of that Blair bullshit you’re being told.” She begins to get up from her seat while adjusting her pearl necklace.

“Jasmine, I just don’t know who you’ve become here recently. It’s like you’ve changed into an entirely different person.”

“Yeah, well, things were perfectly fine when you were with Jon.” She snatches her purse off the table. “That’s who you should be with.” She points her finger at me. “And another thing, until you see where I’m coming from, I don’t have shit left to say to you. And I can tell you now, I’m not budging on that.”

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Is this bitch crazy? She’s not
budging
?

“I used to be your best friend but now apparently I’m a no one. You don’t even listen to my advice anymore.” She slams her chair into the table. “If you had just one conversation with Laura, just one, I’m sure you’d be singing a different tune.” And then she whips herself around and storms away.

“Well,” Rena says as she takes a sip of her champagne, “that was stressful.”

“Laura?” I say as I turn to Rena. “What the hell would I need to speak to Laura about?”

Malcolm

7 p.m.

             
“Slip two Lithium pills in her drink.” I say to Cadence as Jacob and I catch him sneaking out of my parent’s house to see Laura.

             
“Huh?” Cadence says as he pauses with one foot in the cab.

             
“Before you leave for Italiano’s slip two Lithium pills in a drink and give it to Laura. Go buy a Vitamin Water from the hotel bar and slip the Lithium in the bottle.”

             
“But that’s too much Lithium.”

             
“It’s not. It’ll knock her out so that we don’t have to worry about her showing up at Italiano’s. By the time dinner’s over, Jim should be here to fly her, Nat and Dena back to Boston.”

             
“But two pills Malcolm? Yeah, I don’t know. I’m gonna have to think about that.”

             
“Cadence, shut the fuck up and give her the fucking pills or I break your fucking neck.” Jacob says. Well I wouldn’t have put it exactly like that but thanks Jake. I toss Cadence a pill bottle that holds two Lithium pills.

             
“Fine.” He says as he catches it. He hops in the backseat of the cab and slams the door shut.

             
“Cadence.” I call out to him. He rolls his window down.

             
“Yeah.”

             
“Can you do this?”

             
“Of course.”

             
“Are you sure?”

             
“Come on Malcolm, I can do this.”

             
“Cadence–”

             
“I can do this! Stop treating me like I’m a damn kid!” He rolls his window up and the cab drives away.

Laura

8 p.m.

Dear Danielle,

             
I have bad news: Cadence found me.

             
You know, for him to be a stupid ass, he sure did find me pretty quickly. This is what happened:

             
I was standing outside of your rental home, in the bushes, minding my own business, when I saw you jump out of your bedroom window and damn near slow crawl to a waiting cab, like you were in Desert Storm. What the hell was that all about?  I mean, the cabbie turned his lights off at the corner and everything before he pulled up. Why did you tell him to do that? Then you jumped in the backseat and rode down the street with the door open until you reached the corner. That’s when you eased it closed. I’m telling you, I’m beginning to think that there’s something a little off about you.

             
So, I took off my wig and ran in the direction of the cab. Something told me that you were headed to see Malcolm. You ever just get a hunch like that? You ever just sense that when someone has just slow-crawled past you they’re heading to get some ass? Well I was right. Of course I know where Malcolm and Jacob parents own their side-by-side resort homes, so I headed there. Sure enough, the cab was stopped across the street from their homes. But, sorry to say, I didn’t run there fast enough to catch you. Malcolm was just stepping out of his cab when I arrived. I saw him trying to wrestle the clothes off of you while you both stumbled into Jacob Land.

Fun fact! Did you know that
Jacob’s parents named their home Jacob Land, since he’s their only son out of four children. (Jacob is spoiled to the core because of it. But he has generously matched each of his sisters with great husbands: a leading Boston surgeon, a Massachusetts State House of Representative, and the youngest sister is set to marry a mayor’s son.) Malcolm’s parents named their home Kingdom of Blair. It’s not odd to hear Malcolm’s mother call Malcolm by his official title during their summers here: Crown Prince Malcolm. That of course is a slap in Cadence’s face because he’s the oldest. Malcolm’s mother really is a handful. Goodness, between you and his mother, I really feel sorry for the man.

But aren’t those homes the most gorgeous beach homes you have ever seen in your entire life? I mean, the second floors have their own balconies, the winding staircases inside, the blond wood, every room is decorated in a shade of white, the open floor plans, every window is floor to ceiling and … curtain-less. Think about that.

You’re nasty. Oh Danielle, the way you allowed Malcolm to toss you against a window, the heat from your bum steaming it up. The way you were being slid up and down against it, the way your hair was pressed against the glass, completely disheveled. You were totally shameless. It was uncalled for. You should really think about your neighbors. We don’t want to see that.

So as I was watching you, can you believe that I was caught by Cadence at that very moment? He walked out the front door of
Kingdom of Blair and right over to me.

“I was gazing out of my window, dreaming of you, praying that you’d return to me, when I saw you.
I’ll tell you, it reminded me of the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun
.
” He said to me as he held me close.

“
So what’s everybody doing tomorrow?”

“I’m, uh, not sure. Were you about to throw pebbles up at my window? How were you planning on getting my attention?” He whispered in my ear. At that moment I could see that your breasts, palms and forehead were now pressed against the window. Your eyes were closed and your mouth was distorted into a lar
ge O. Malcolm’s hands were grabbing your waist, but I couldn’t see him behind you. I assume that he was using his tongue to enter that firm ass of yours. (You really do have a round ass Danielle.) But oh, back to Cadence, he asked me about how I was planning on getting his attention.

“I was just planning on walking in
to the house.” I answered. The Blairs never lock their doors while here. They’re on private land, they normally wouldn’t have anything to worry about. But that’s before Malcolm burned up my trophies.

“You were planning on walking into the house and into my bedroom and declaring your love, right in front of my wife?” Cadence pressed my body against his. “My god! You would risk everything for me?”

“Risk
everything
? Cadence, it’s because of you and Lola that I have nothing left to lose.”

“Oh, yeah, well, about Lola–”

“And it’s because of you and Lola that I don’t have Malcolm.”

“Malcolm?” I pushed off of him.

“And it’s because of you that I’m standing outside of Jacob Land, instead of inside of it, getting fucked against a window!”

“Huh?”

“You heard me!” I yelled out.

“You’re talking a little crazy.”

“I’m not crazy, I’m disturbed!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

“Oh boy, okay, uh, do you have your medicine.” He began walking me across the street, putting my arm
in his and patting my hand, like I was 90 years old.

“I have som
ething better than medicine. I have memories.” I said, referring to the diary hidden inside of my hotel room.

“I see. Maybe we should get you to a doctor and see if we can fill a prescription for you. Because you’re acting a little moody … one moment you’re standing outside my window looking for me, the next you’re talking about Malcolm.” He
looks at me and smiles. “Those pills will fix you, they’ll stop all of those swinging emotions of yours … they’ll balance you out.”

“Balance! As in the balance beam! As in the Summer Olympics of ’96!”

“What?”

“I want my trophies!”

And, well, you can just imagine how things went from there. Cadence covered my mouth, ran me into the house and grabbed a set of car keys. He managed to get out of me where I was staying and so he drove me to my hotel. I kicked and screamed the entire way about my trophies. When we snuck up to my room, he called Dena’s cell and she came running over.

“What is this about the Olympics?” Dena asked as she
was tucking me into bed.

“I could have gone Dena, I really could have.” I said to her while Cadence was feeding me orange juice through a straw. “And I’ve still got it Dena. Cadence, tell her how you just recently gave my routine a 9.4 out of 10. Tell her!” Dena gave Cadence a reproachful look while Cadence dropped his eyes.

All throughout the night and better half of the next day, as I drifted in and out of sleep, I heard Dena and Cadence whispering about me:

No one can know she’s here.

Pills.

Been out all night.

Lola’s going to kill me.

Be right back.

Gotta check in with Lola.

Stay with her.

Getting Evan.

Nat, I’m going to Savannah.

Dinner?

I’ll stay with her.

He gave me these.

Thank goodness!

Danielle and her people.

Get ready for dinner.

And that made me wonder:

1. Was My Agent wondering where I was? (I totally missed our 3 o’clock appointment at Oyster Bar … they’re probably worried sick.)
   
2. Why didn’t My Agent tell me about this dinner? (They’re keeping secrets, I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands)
   
3. Where is this dinner?
   

“I’ll leave Italiano’s as soon as I can.” I heard Cadence say before leaving.

Bingo.

              So it’s about 8 o’clock now, Cadence just dropped back in to check on me and guess what he had in his hands? A bottle of champagne.