Over the Hills and Far Away (NOLA's Own #1) (10 page)

“Sure, sure,” I replied, not even considering it.

Her smile made me feel a bit ill.

“Next time, maybe you could…go all in,” she said as she winked before shutting the door.

The hell I would.

Sitting down on the edge of the shitty motel bed, I rubbed my face with my hands, not knowing what the fuck I was supposed to do. I knew something wasn’t right, but then nothing had been right since the night I lost my Baby Girl.

“Where are you?” I whispered.

Nothing would be right until I found her again. I even had people looking around for her, and nothing had turned up. There were no gorgeous copper-headed, green-eyed amazons by the name of Kenna anywhere in the whole fucking state of Louisiana. I could’ve sworn she and her friends had said they hailed from LaPlace—
my
old neighborhood. I had taken that as a sure sign.

Lying back on the now empty bed, I closed my eyes against the nicotine stains on the ceiling. This place really was a fuckin’ dump, stinking of stale cheap sex and rotten booze.

“Baby Girl,” I whispered, my voice raw and painful to my own ears.

Just by calling out to her, I could see her. She shone with an inner vibrant light, a cool sort of glow. She was clean, fresh, and untainted. She had the most incredible eyes I’d ever seen, so green, like sunlight filtering through mangrove leaves.

My Baby Girl
…

God, I barely knew her, and I missed her so hard I ached.

One touch, and I was lost.

When I had taken her hand, I’d had no idea what I was doing, no idea that I’d no longer be wholly myself. Or maybe…she’d just made me aware that I was never whole—until I had found her.

One kiss, and the green-eyed witch had snatched my soul.

Fuck…that kiss
.

There was nothing, no sexual experience with anyone else, that compared to that one fuckin’ kiss. My dick had snapped to life the moment my lips touched hers, ready for whatever she commanded.

Now, all I had was the memory of it, and it was the only thing that made my dick stand up at all anymore. I thought about it a lot. I thought about
her
a lot. It was the only way I could get hard, get off. Picking up random blondes and redheads—even though none of them could actually match that fuckin’ amazing copper color—I could almost pretend it was Kenna I was slipping into.

But they weren’t Kenna. And every time I shoved my dick into something other than her, my heart knew it
and hated it. I was starting to really hate myself. Kenna was clean and untainted, but I…I was turning into something far removed from all that.

“Oh god…save me, Baby Girl.”

At that moment though, I knew, by some sort of instinct or extra sense, that I wasn’t the one who needed saving. It was
her
. She was in a world of pain, and for a moment, I fuckin’ panicked.

What if she’s in some serious trouble? Like, she got kidnapped or—

No. It didn’t feel like that.

Okay, this is fuckin’ weird. What the fuck is wrong with me?

“What’s goin’ on with you? Are you all right?” I spoke to the empty room, feeling like a whack job but also feeling a bit better for it. “I miss you. I haven’t forgotten you. I could never forget you.”

My heart warmed up a bit, making me feel less gross and twisted up inside.

“I’m gonna find you again, Kenna,” I whispered. “I ain’t ever gonna give up. You…you’re my other half. I knew it the moment I saw you. Don’t give up either, okay? I promise, once I find you again, I ain’t ever gonna let you go.”

Thinking of her, talking to her like this, lulled my ass to sleep where I dreamed of her.

She’s so beautiful, lying on her side in the sweet grass and running her hand over the tips.

Joy explodes within me, and I hurry to her side. I just want to lift her up, hold her in my arms, and never, ever let go.

“Baby Girl—”

“Shh…” she says softly.

She’s crying, each tear dripping onto blades the same color as her eyes.

“You told me not to go anywhere,” she tells me. “Now…there’s nowhere I can escape.”

The grass starts weaving, shooting up, tangling in the sunset colors of her hair, rooting her to the ground.

“No!” I cry out, desperately trying to reach her, to rip the thick blades off her, to free her from this, whatever it is that I did.

“I’ll never be whole again without you, Philip. I’ll never be free of you now, and neither will you. I suppose it’s only fair.”

“Kenna-Baby, I’ll get you out, I swear!”

“I’ll be here, waiting.” Her voice is muffled, captured by the grass weaving a cocoon around her.

I keep trying, tugging and yanking at the fuckin’ grass, but it does no good. She’s trapped beneath it, looking like a tiny hill.

Where the fuck am I?

Looking around, it seems far too familiar. It takes a few moments before I realize I’ve been here before.

It’s that old woman’s backyard, the one who lived next door to us when we were kids, except there are no houses. It’s just the yard that stretches out to the horizon in all directions.

“Philip?”

The sky has turned the color of my Baby Girl’s hair.

I turn around to see a woman standing behind me, and the old woman’s house magically appears behind her. For a split second, I’m thinking it’s my mom, but the woman comes closer, and I see that it’s not.

She’s beautiful though in a lot of the same ways my mom was. She has long dark brown hair, dark-chocolate eyes, high cheekbones…but this woman is part white, like me. Her nose, cheeks, and chin look an awful lot like my Baby Girl’s.

“She’s not going anywhere, Philip. I made sure of that.”

“Did you do this to her?” I demand, pointing at the human-sized grassy knoll.

“She’s yours now. My greatest achievement is for you to cherish.”

Kenna

Perhaps against better judgment, I decided not to take a leave of absence from school. I jumped straight back in, catching up fairly quickly and staying at the top of the class. I found that in doing so, I was able to distract myself from my depression—or ignore it completely.

Life really did go on.

Before I knew it, the holidays were here, but we had very little to celebrate.

For Thanksgiving, Lili, Grandma, Connor, Gloria, and I headed over to Mama Sally and Papa David’s place for a humongous feast. Da had decided to take a haul, getting paid extra for working the holiday.

“That man has abandoned you!” Grandma hissed at me when I’d told her he wouldn’t make it. “He left your mother in her time of need, and he’s left you now to try to pick up the pieces of your life!”

“Grandma, he’s in pain, too. Honestly, I don’t feel that way,” I assured her.

My anger with my father had dissipated as the weeks passed. There was a time when I’d agreed wholeheartedly with my grandmother but not anymore. I really didn’t see the difference between what Da was doing and my own drive to be so busy, so I wouldn’t have time to think about anything else. He was working the holiday, so he didn’t have to see how much Mom’s absence hurt all of us. I was okay with that.

“Grandma Betty looks so old now,” Alys whispered as we hid out on the side of her parents’ house, smoking a spliff before heading inside and tackling a mountain of food. “Does she sleep at all anymore?”

“I don’t think she gets much,” I replied, hitting the joint and holding it in, passing it off to Connor. “It’s weird. I never see her cry. At least, she doesn’t when I’m home. I don’t know what she does while I’m at school.”

“I’ll tell Mom to start checking up on her throughout the week,” said Alys. “Just sort of stop by and spring visits on her.”

I nodded. “She’s too Southern not to be polite and refuse a guest. It might help her out.”

“What about you though?” my brother quietly asked me. “Who’s checking up on you?”

I smiled as warmly as I could possibly manage. “I have you guys to keep me in line.”

He draped his arm around my shoulder. “I’ll come stay over more.”

Like when Da is home, no doubt.

I had a feeling that Da must be the hardest to be around. How Gloria was still with him, I had no clue. His temper was really short these days, and to my understanding, Connor would take the brunt of his verbal abuse. Da never had and never would raise a hand to any of us, but the man’s words could cut to the quick.

The four-day holiday weekend was over before we knew it, and Alys drove back to Lafayette. It would be another five weeks before she returned to us, but I’d speak with her nearly every day, so it wasn’t like she was out of reach.

In school, I’d befriended a guy named Gavin Francis. With a head shaved down to an impressive shine, he was short and stacked like a tank. He was just as serious about our education as I was. His goals concerning education and work mirrored mine, and we’d formed a tight bond in that respect. We didn’t socialize much outside of school, except when we needed to study. Our tastes were very different in our personal lives, and there was no sexual chemistry between us whatsoever. But he made class more fun, and I sure as hell needed more of that in my life.

Christmas break was a bit of a pain in the ass.

My mother had adored the Christmas season but not for any religious reasons. It was just the fact that it was a fun, lively time, and she’d liked having a big fat tree in her home. It didn’t bother me that Grandma hadn’t wanted to decorate. The woman had all but banned it. Besides, I would be the one who’d be putting them up and taking them down, so that saved me the trouble.

However, the nightmare reared its ugly head when Da invited us over for Christmas dinner. My grandmother threw a fit and refused to leave the house. I was tempted to just leave her sullen ass and let her stew in her own misery. In the end, I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave her alone on her first Christmas without her daughter.

“I’m sorry, Da, but it’s just a really bad time, okay? I don’t want to leave her like this,” I explained to him on Christmas Eve.

“It’s bluidy Christmas!” he howled in my ear over the phone.

“And you skipped out on Thanksgiving,” I snapped. “Just let this one go, all right? I’ll come over with Alys and Lili during the day, and we’ll exchange gifts.”

“It’s no’ the bluidy same thing, Kenna. We’re still a family—”

“Which is why I’m coming over during the day and spending the evening with her! Get over it!” I hung up, finding my own temper was on a pretty short fuse.

When Alys, Lili, and I made our way over there late in the morning on Christmas Day, Grandma retreated to her cave without saying good-bye and locked the door.

“Why is she so upset that we’re going?” Lili whispered. “He might’ve been a bit of an ass, but he’s still your Da.”

“She thinks I’m siding with him against her,” I replied as we walked out the front door. “I really don’t understand it. I didn’t realize that there’s some sort of war going on between them. I know she’s pissy about him not being around a lot at the end, but it was my mother who did that, not him. And I think Grandma was offended over Thanksgiving, and she’s mad at
me
for not being upset about that. I just hope this shit blows over soon because it’s hard enough not having Mom around. I don’t need to deal with this garbage on top of it.”

“It will,” consoled Alys as we climbed into the gold Honda Accord. She turned on the engine. “She just needs to take it out on someone, and your father is the best target.”

“Yeah, it’s hard to miss a man
that
ginger and soulless,” piped Lili from the backseat.