Over the Edge (5 page)

“He’s beautiful. I have a son.” He leaned close and kissed her.

No warning.

She was sure she’d have refused his kiss if she’d had a chance. The kiss deepened. It hurt, but it was so wonderful to be with him again. Which didn’t match with the burning desire to fill his belly full of lead.

She lifted her arms to pull him closer, and her left one wouldn’t move. But her right one, though sore, moved just fine.

“I remember this.” Seth spoke against her lips.

The words brought tears to her eyes, the gentle kiss clashing with the realization that he’d forgotten all about her.

She turned her head aside. “How could you forget me, Seth?”

Resting his forehead against her temple, Seth didn’t try another kiss. But she remembered it well, the fire that blazed between them. Only her pain and his guilt kept that from happening right now because she’d missed him so terribly.

After long, sweet moments with Seth holding her so gently, Callie pulled back. “How is Connor?”

“He’s sleeping right beside us on the floor.”

“Did he eat? I didn’t have any way to feed him except . . .” Callie fell silent. Then she raised her head to look right in Seth’s eyes. “I don’t even feel like I know you anymore.”

“You kissed me like you know me real well.”

Callie raised a hand to rest on his cheek and pushed him away, not far away but enough that she could think.

“We’re married, Seth. Nothing changes that.”

“And I’ve got a cabin we can move into tomorrow.”

Silence stretched between them. “You don’t know me. You don’t remember your commitment to me, and you can’t say you love me. I’m not your wife until you remember me, Seth.”

Seth opened his mouth, no doubt to say something crazy. Callie touched his lips with one finger to stop him.

“I came out here mostly because I was afraid you were dead. I wrote that letter to you on the long chance you might get it, but mainly I wanted to contact Rafe and Ethan. I thought it was fair that they knew they had a nephew and that they claimed him. There was trouble back in Texas and my pa died and I had nowhere else to go. You said you had a ranch out here and I wanted to give Connor whatever birthright goes with the Kincaid name. So I deliberately sent that letter and set out before your brothers could tell me to stay away. So I’m here and I’ve found my abandoning husband, and just like before, you seem drawn to me and eager to kiss me.”

“I’m both.” Seth sounded fervent.

“I believe you, but it’s not enough. You were both of those things before and you ran off as soon as you felt well enough, or maybe your nightmares drove you into the night, or maybe you’re just crazy. Whatever the truth is, you did it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“And I’m not going to resume the whole of being married until I know I can trust you. I’m not going to be abandoned again, with another baby on the way. You shouldn’t be here in this bed with me. So yes, I’ll come to your cabin, but you, Seth Kincaid, are going to have to prove to me that you have a firm grip on your sanity.”

“How do I do that?” He showed no signs of leaving the bed. His broad shoulders were bare and she could see his terrible scars.

She fought the compassion he always awakened in her. “It’s the kind of challenge that’ll probably drive you crazy.”

“How will we be able to tell?” Seth sighed. “Go back to sleep. As soon as you’re feeling better, we’ll head for home.” He adjusted the pillows and eased her onto her back.

It wasn’t a satisfying end to this first real conversation she’d had with her husband in a long time. But there was no help for that. She shouldn’t even go to sleep and leave her son in the care of a lunatic. But she was too battered to stay awake, and if her husband ran off again, she’d at least be able to find his hopefully sane older brothers.

Seth pulled her into his arms so gently it hurt her heart and that, combined with the beating she’d taken yesterday, helped her keep her mouth shut.

As she fell asleep, she noticed he hadn’t moved away at all. In fact, he was closer than ever. He was warm and strong and gentle and so wounded she didn’t have the will to kick his backside out of her bed.

And didn’t that just describe their whole relationship.

Seth felt the licking flames. Fire crawled along the rock, following the line of spilled kerosene.

It leaped at him, a living thing. His sleeve caught fire.

He jerked awake. His heart pounded but the pain hadn’t come. And the screaming. Something had broken in just as the dreams started. Nightmares, not dreams. Not even close to dreams.

He lay awake, alert as a western man—and a soldier—learns to be. But he couldn’t quite identify the noise he’d heard. It didn’t strike him as dangerous.

Then he felt a tickle on his chin, and in the dark room, dimly lit by the moonlight, he saw dark curls and realized his arms held something.

Someone.

There was a woman in his arms. His heart flipped from fear to excitement, but it raced just as fast and slammed in his chest as his hold on her tightened.

Who was she? Where was he? She fit in his arms so perfectly he felt like he’d come home in a way he’d never been before. Or maybe he was still dreaming.

But his dreams were never like this.

The sound again. What was it? Some little squeak.

He wanted to revel in the feel of this woman, but the sound invaded his thoughts again and a tickle spooked him. He looked down toward his arm—the right one—the one not wrapped around a woman—and met the eyes of a child.

Connor.

Everything snapped into place.

Seth remembered crawling into bed after Callie had fallen asleep, glad he couldn’t ask permission. They were twined in each other’s arms. But on the very edge of the bed where Connor could easily reach. He hadn’t gone to his wife; she had come to him.

And clearly, Connor had crawled out of the blankets Seth had lain on the floor and pulled himself up to stand by the bed. Connor squeaked and his little fingers clawed at Seth’s bare arm. He bounced on his chubby little legs and smiled so big that Seth’s heart hurt from the sweetness of the moment. A chubby baby. A beautiful woman. He hadn’t done much in his life to deserve this.

“Papapapapapapa.” The boy was getting loud.

Seth realized he had about ten seconds to quiet Connor down before he woke the boy’s exhausted, battered mother. With the deepest imaginable regret, he eased Callie aside. She didn’t even twitch. The woman was worn clear out.

“Papapapapapa.” Connor held on to the edge of the bed and bounced faster, grinning and occasionally clawing at Seth some more.

Seth slipped out of bed, dressed quickly and hoisted the boy into his arms.

The soggy boy.

With no idea how to proceed and Connor’s “papapapapa” getting louder with every passing second, Seth slipped out of the room, barefoot.

Soggy baby in hand.

At least he could quiet the boy down—or not—far from Callie.

Glad of an excuse to stop sleeping before the nightmares came, he took Connor out to the lobby. Seth found a night clerk with his head down on the desk in the hotel entry. Seth’s footstep on a creaky board roused the young man.

“Howdy.” Seth didn’t know how to proceed.

Connor bounced in his arms. “Papapapapapa.” He waved at the night clerk. Maybe the baby was saying bye-bye.

“Your son woke you up, huh?” The night clerk smiled at Connor. Seth had a feeling the cute little wiggler would get that reaction from everyone he ever met.

“Yep, and his mother had a hard day yesterday. I’d like for her to sleep.”

“How about I get him some milk from the kitchen?”

Seth heaved a sigh of relief. “How do you know what babies need? I sure don’t. His ma just brought him out here yesterday.”

“Your wife is the one who held off those outlaws that tried to rob the stage, isn’t she?”

Seth reckoned he had himself a famous wife. “That she is.”

“My uncle was riding shotgun on that stage. Your wife saved his life.”

“In that case”—Seth wasn’t sure just how to ask, but something had to be done—“do you know what to do about a soggy diaper?”

The night clerk smiled. “I’m the oldest of five brothers. I reckon I’ve changed my share of diapers.” The boy jerked his head at a satchel by the door to the outside. “That’s your wife’s bag. I’ll see if she’s got diapers in there; otherwise we can swipe a towel out of the kitchen.”

“Now, don’t go to swiping things, son. It ain’t right and your boss’ll fire you. I don’t want that.” Though Seth did badly want a dry diaper for Connor.

The boy laughed. “The boss is my pa. He’s mighty grateful that his brother is going to be all right. He’ll be glad to donate a towel or two.”

“Can you check the satchel? Or do you want the boy?”

“You’ve already got a big old wet spot on your shirt. How about I leave you to hold him, since you’re already wet, and I do the searching?”

“Sounds fine.”

Connor yelled, “Papapapapa!”

“Hey, he can call you papa. He looks real young to be talking. He’s a smart boy.”

That hadn’t occurred to Seth that the boy was making sense. It just sounded like baby jabbering. Maggie could say a few words, including calling Ethan papa. And she was the only baby Seth had ever been around, except for Ethan’s younger baby Lily, and she wasn’t to talking age yet.

It warmed Seth’s heart. “Say papa.”

Connor bounced and yelled, and Seth and the night clerk laughed. It was a mighty fun game. Until they tried to change Connor’s diaper. Then they had a chase on their hands. The boy could squirm and roll and crawl fast as greased lightning.

Seth and Connor had another nighttime adventure about three hours later and another half-grown boy was manning the desk. This one knew his way around a diaper, too.

By the time morning came, Seth had gotten to know his little son pretty well. He could crawl so fast, Seth didn’t dare take his eyes off of him. He laughed and screamed with equal volume and he didn’t like wearing a diaper. It had taken both Seth and the clerk to wrestle him into one.

Seth arranged to have the parson’s wife come early, and when she arrived, he left her with Callie, who hadn’t stirred since that one middle-of-the-night talk they’d had.

The parson’s wife had brought a few things along and she set to work washing and mending the clothes Callie had gotten so tattered yesterday.

Chapter
5

Because Connor seemed inclined toward rowdiness, Seth took his son with him to buy supplies.

“You back, Kincaid?” Russ Stewart at the general store took Seth’s order.

“Yeah, but I’m probably done with my trips to Colorado City. I met my wife on the stage yesterday.” Connor bounced in Seth’s arms and Seth couldn’t hold back a smile at the husky toddler.

“The one that got robbed?”

“Yep.”

“Heard a woman held off four armed bandits.”

“That’s my wife.” Seth grew a little taller with pride. He patted Connor on the back. If Connor had a good dose of his ma in him, he was gonna grow up to be about the best son a man ever had. Of course before they could concentrate on raising their son, Seth had to figure out a way to get Callie to stop trying to kill him.

“I knew the stagecoach driver real well. He’s got a lot of friends in this town and the man riding shotgun’s got family here, a wife and young’uns. I’m obliged to your wife.”

“I’m mighty glad she’s here. I’ve been riding out to meet the stage for a while, waiting for her.”

“Your boy is the spittin’ image of you.” Russ tipped his head at Connor. “I’ll bet you’re glad he finally got here.”

“I am at that.” Glad to know he
existed
was more like it. “And my wife, too. I’ve got a big order there, Russ. I didn’t figure I needed to fill it when it looked like I’d be back a few more times. But now I’ll stock up for winter. It’s a long trip from here to our ranch, and I’m hoping to leave before noon.”

Seth hesitated as he thought of how battered Callie was. “I might be waiting a day so my wife can rest up. Can you just get the order together? I’ll come by with my string of horses when we’re ready to leave.”

“Sounds good. A Rocky Mountain winter can slow a man down. Best to lay up supplies.”